The Haven Herald

Juliet’s Jewels

By: Meova and HollyShort9

Dear Juliet,

I am not, so unlike you, a master in several fight sports. That is, like, the right term, right? Anyway, I’m glad about that. I could kinda, like, break a nail or so! Which would so be the end of the world. No, what I’m interested in, are 2 things. One, where did you get that totally awesome green glitter eyeshadow? I totally lurved it from the first minute I heard about it! And second, how do you manage to be so girly? I mean, you’re like a bodyguard! I never heard about you wearing any skirts or so. You should really try it. You will have lots of space around your legs! Pants are an absolute no-go, not even for a bodyguard. Did I help you? And please, try to help me out a bit. I still don’t know how you manage to be, like, so girly while being, like, so tough at the same time!



Dear Pinklover,
Don’t worry about being tough or pretty or girly all at the same time or following fashion trends. Be yourself, and be the trendsetter. (If you REALLY wanna know, I act really girly and dress really girly and wear girly makeup and act tough.) Who cares about what other people think? Don’t blend in with the crowd, stand out. (I have these really cute multi-color bracelets that you can’t get anymore because they’re “out of style”. Multicolor bracelets are never out of style!) I hope I helped.



How did you get into the bodyguard business? Is it, like, just in your heritage or something? ‘Cause it’d be totally awesome if you told me how to be a bodyguard. Also, if I met you in real life, would you teach me some karate moves? And one more thing: My dog died a year ago and I can’t get over it, even though I know it’s the circle of life.. How would you deal with it?


Dear Can’tFigureSelfOut,

I’ll take the time to answer all of your questions, even though I’m very busy. Ms. Fowl is a very demanding pupil… Anyway. How did I get in the bodyguard business? I guess it was kind of my heritage. Almost every Butler has been a bodyguard, and I don’t want to be the one to break that tradition! What also helps, is that I love almost every aspect of being a bodyguard. If you love something, just try to do something with that! About the karate moves, I think I could teach you some. Just get to Fowl Manor, and don’t be afraid to get bruises! Finally, your last question. What I’d do, is just vent my frustration on a guy, or the wall, or something else. But I know it’s not the best thing to do if you don’t have one of the highest belts in karate. I suggest you talk about it. It seems to help… Even though I stick with beating guys up!



Is being a female bodyguard kinda hard? I mean, do the guy bodyguards like, laugh at you until you beat them up or something? Cause I wanted to be a female bodyguard, but then I thought since I’m so girly… and since most bodyguards are guys… and stuff… well…. What should I do!???

Wanna, but Don’t Wanna

Dear Wanna, but Don’t Wanna,
Yeah, it really is tough sometimes, you know, being feminine and stuff? The guy bodyguards all frowned upon me at first, but I, like, worked up throguh the ranks, and it didn’t take long before they respected me as much as if I was, like, a guy! I say, go for it! Do whatcha wanna do and be whatcha wanna be!
Signed, Juliet

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Comments on This Post

29 responses to “The Haven Herald.” Join in!

  1. Hitsugayatoushiro January 25th, 2010 at 6:00 pm 1

    Girls are so better than boys as the articles prove but guys do play a big part in their lives.
    Great articles though guys; it was fun to read.
    You must’ve worked really hard!

  2. This is way too awesome!!! When will there be another Haven Herald??? I can’t wait!!!

    ps. yes, Tou, girls are so much better than guys.

  3. This is way too awesome!!! When will there be another Haven Herald??? I can’t wait!!!

    ps. yes, Tou, girls are so much better than guys. But… I have no proof. :mrgreen:

  4. Hola!I just had a quick question that I’ve been wondering about for a while. When are we going to have another FanFiction writing contest? I’ve never been able to participate, so I was just thinking…well, yeah, you know what I mean.Glad to see that the Haven Herald is up and running! Can’t wait for an update!

  5. wow the winner story 5 times thingy was EPIC! I luves it! great job mockturtle!

  6. therisingdarkness February 4th, 2010 at 1:12 am 6

    I am a girl, and I do a fair job of controlling my emotions (of course, I’d the girl that can watch several WWII movies and programs and not shed a tear, not feel any anger or pain or sadness, yet cries when I reach a sad part in a book….). I freak people out on a daily basis because I manage to stay blank-faced.

    We women can be emotional, but we do not base ALL our decisions on our emotions.

  7. Girls are so much better! And it’s guys who are all sexist! What’s that about our wild emotions? Who has to prove their masculinity every five seconds? Who smells like armpit half the time? Who wears their pants on da ground?  :D~YoshiP.S. I also want to know when the next FanFic competition is, if it’s not too much trouble. =D

  8. yeah, I’ve gotten much better, and I wanna try my skillz!

  9. that…was odd. it was a very good article and you gave so much proof for your cause,unlike the people who say twilight is better than harry potter and have not a wand to back it up. But, the thing is,girls are still better than guys. I could have done all that Mr.Fowl did and aren’t ALL elves emotionative creatures? and in recent times,women are becoming more involved in politics.take me for example.
    wait,what about there not enough woman writers? J.K. Rowling and me.and wait about 10,15 years and if you see the first name Jade in the news very often,that’s me.

  10. fanfiction contest? ohh sounds interesting…. i hate my phone, it doesnlt like this style of textbox so no advanced punctuation…. oh well. as i like to say, boys rock… but girls rule. anything you can do i can do better and all that. heheh. seriously though, id be all for a fanfiction contest…

  11. Team Rosalie…

    hey… they’re giving out autographed pics on Team Rosalie on FB :)…

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