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Burglary Tips

Of all the creatures on, or under, the earth, none are more suited to burglary than the dwarves. Every aspect of them can be adjusted to suit the life of crime. The even have little enough magic in them to being with, that they will not regret losing it if they enter a human dwelling without permission. Check out our page on The Book for more on that little rule.

What follows is a list of the different ways in which dwarves are suited to thievery, and some hints on how to use them successfully:

NB – Although none of the following have been directly linked to the stories, and so, no spoilers are given, Mulch obviously uses these tricks in his adventures. If you would consider this a spoiler, then you have been warned.

  • Trust the hair. If your beard hair senses danger ahead, there probably is.
  • Tunnelling is a good way to enter a building, and an even better way to escape one. No-one can catch a dwarf once he’s underground.
  • If being stealthy, remember to rid yourself of tunnelling gas while still in the tunnel. Otherwise, a rather loud blast may give away your position later.
  • In rough situations, built up gas can be a useful weapon on unsuspecting victims.
  • If you dehydrate yourself, your pores open up to attempt to suck in water, thus turning your skin into an unorthodox suction cup which you can use to climb walls etc. – but remember to re-hydrate yourself afterwards or you’ll end up sticking to everything!
  • If a hair, still part of your beard, is inserted into a lock, then plucked from the beard, it will instantly harden in the shape of the lock and so, can be used as a great lock pick, among other things.
  • Dwarf spit hardens layered, and so, can form a kind of adhesive, and also glows in the dark. Therefore, it is very useful in underground caves and hidey-holes.
  • Dwarves are not affected by the bends, which is obviously quite useful in deep water situations. Well, if you’re the dwarf that is.