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The Walk Home

Summary: I’ve corrected the spellings in this but it’s basically the same old thing again. So, enjoy again….   If you are an […]

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I’ve corrected the spellings in this but it’s basically the same old thing again. So, enjoy again….  

If you are an easily confused person, I’ll try making this simple, OK. Bold is Artemis narrating (and cursing), and normal is, well, a random girl. Dah! Italics, I guess it’s me.

I’m so excited! Artemis finally agreed. You don’t know how long he took to make his mind up. Every day after school, I ran past the rest to the gate to where he was loitering and would ask him if he’d like to come to the cafe with me. Every day he would say NO!

Silly girl. Has she any idea how annoying she is? I pouted.

Until today!

Might as well give in to her. Stupid girl.

And today’s no normal day either. No, it’s not Valentines, neither is it my birthday. It’s his, and I’ve got something special to give him in my pocket.

We walk down the road to the cafe across the street. I can’t believe he agreed. I’m literally jumping for joy. Dumb girl. We enter the Christmassy building (it’s not Christmas) and I saved us a table while he went over to get the drinks. I’d told him I love Faluda. He’d winced and when I asked him why, he said it reminded him of lollipops. I dropped the subject.

It was getting dark when we’d finished out submarines. Artemis had been quiet the whole time, and it began to freak me out. I looked up after my last bite. She seemed to be looking at me and shivering. I looked aside quickly.

I was relieved when he spoke; when he asked me if I wanted him to drop me home. This was what I’d been waiting for all my life, dreaming out of the window every night before I slept.

I got up, relieved we could move away from that immobilizing place. As we took the road down beside the park, a cool breeze blew on us, waving our hair in the wind. Artemis’s hair had grown quite long during last autumn.

I reach to my pocket. 

My eyes flashed at her. What was she doing.

‘Close your eyes,’ I said.

Why was I panicking? Is this really sweat pouring down my neck? D’Arvit! How did I ever get into this mess. Stupid me! 

He hesitated, but did it all the same.

I took it out and placed it in his palm. Then I closed it.

Slowly, I opened my palm. It was a silver necklace with a pendent embedded with diamonds. Fakes, obviously, you can see the way it shines weakly in the moonlight. She probably couldn’t afford one with real stones. But… 

‘It-it’s beautiful,’ he said softly.

I felt regret. Strong and hot, burning in my throat. But it was too late to turn back.

Then he looked into my eyes.

This is the moment, I thought, a warm shiver filling me. His blue eyes looked beautiful in the moonlight. I smiled at him.

Her smile broke my heart. So innocent. She actually trusts me. 

A warm trickle fell down from my eyes.

My smile faded away. ‘Why are you crying?’ I asked, reaching up and wiping his tears away.

Don’t do this to me, I felt like yelling. Don’t treat me like this. I don’t deserve it. No!

Why did I ever choose this path? Why in the name of Frond did I swear to her? Why on Earth can’t I turn back? I don’t want to do this. No!!!!!!!!! 

My eyes widened.

‘I’m sorry’

She fell to the ground, and I watched her, doing nothing; nothing at all about the knife in her chest, the knife which I placed there.

She looked beautiful with her hair sprayed around her, mixing with her own blood. So beautiful, shining weakly in the moonlight. 

‘Why?’ she asked, with her last breath.

I closed my eyes. The deed was done.


Comments on This Post

14 responses to “The Walk Home.” Join in!

  1. shadowsnake451 March 27th, 2010 at 3:44 pm 1

    O. M. J. (that’s oh my jonas, FYI,)
    Holy guacomole, that’s great. I mean the spelling needs a bit *coughquitealotactuallycough* of work, and I don’t really know about grammar, but- the climax! The emotion! The essence of Fowlness! That was incredible!

  2. Beckett Simpleton March 27th, 2010 at 4:56 pm 2

    Oooh very dramatic. Artemis was very IC sept when he killed her but then you can’t have everything i guess

  3. Interesting . . . very, very interesting . . . It’s a bit cliche, but with a very good spin. He’d almost started to fall for her. But, what I don’t get is, if he stabbed her, who didn’t he just get it over with without the date? I’d really love an update of some kind stating why, but it’s not like it HAS to be done for the sake of the story, the universe and peanutbutter. What DOES have to be done, for the sake of peanut butter, is a little spellcheck. There are a lot of sites that will do that, or Microsoft Word.

  4. That was good. 🙂 what I don’t get is why he stabbed her… But, Arty was very IC, well, until the end when he stabbed her. As the others have let you known, spellcheck is needed. Overall, nice plot with people IC, good grammer, but that spelling… 4 stars. 🙂

  5. Why did he kill her? I absoloutely adored this!=)=)=)=)

  6. iwa the Chris Tormentor March 27th, 2010 at 11:01 pm 6

    Holy… cow…. woah… i…. i… i….
    ….i…i…i…i….*1000 …

  7. 🙂 Good story. 😉 The spelling was not so terribly off. I’d love an update… And I love your imagery! 😀


  8. Artiholi180 the epic person of epicness! March 31st, 2010 at 10:36 pm 8

    WOW……..HOLY…..JUST…..WOW……THIS WAS FREAKIN EPIC!!!!! Arty was totaly IC and even with the stabbing (which needs an explanation for the sake of peanutbutter) it was pretty IC i guess. i could probly see him doing that if there was money, fairies, or his own life at stake. As for spelling….. acctually pretty good. I can’t spell either, but oh well, we all have our quirks. =D KUDGW!

  9. cool story ,i like thestabbing part.

  10. That’s my lil sis… She’s new. She may join. She’s enjoying AF. So long…

  11. *Has a large grin on face* I don’t know why, but random killing makes me happy :D!
    I loved the story so much! Only a few things.
    A. Why did he kill her?
    B. Why does he feel remorse?
    C. Where did he get the knife anyway!?!

  12. *shrugs* I dunno.
    I just was in the mood for this type.
    And your taste for stories is great. I like the same kind

  13. Oh my… did Arty just kill an innocent little girl that was nice enough to give him a necklace? Darn you Artemis! *stabs Arty with some of those kiddie scissors*

    Anyway, this was interesting. Depressing though, but I still enjoyed it. Excellent.


  14. DUDE… EPIC. I don’t say that for a lot of stuff, btw. OMG. EPIC. SERIOUSLY.

    There are some stories with this awesome, awesome writing, but the plot is so poopy you feel like dying. There are others where the plot is A-MA-ZING but the writing itself is such a flop it kills you inside. There are some that don’t have decent plot or acceptable writing.

    But this has both, and it’s perfect, and I love the way it switches POV. IC, fluffy, quite depressing, not cliched, and BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL. I am so, so sad that you probably left the site and will *sniff* never write again.


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