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What if…?

Summary: TAKE NOTE: This is an alternative universe that doesn’t follow the Eoin Colfer Mainstream track, so it is numbered as […]

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

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TAKE NOTE: This is an alternative universe that doesn’t follow the Eoin Colfer Mainstream track, so it is numbered as “178”
Author’s Note: This story takes place around The Opal Deception.

Also, I am not Eoin Colfer, so I do not own this universe; he does.
Prologue

The hideout of Opal Koboi

Displeasure was the mood Opal’s hoverchair detected from its moodbars. It compensated this by spraying a perfume that the pixie had made herself, Revenge’s Sweet. Opal inhaled the fumes, her sprits lifting. Soon, phase three of her plan was moments away from starting, she had just activated the ‘seeker’ part of the LEP standard-issue seeker-sleeper. According to her hijacked feed, Root and Short were traveling down the magnastrip to E37 to investigate.

Opal briefly wondered which fairy was going to die. The Commander? This was her choice; if Root survived, he might be able to sway the IA over to his side, and he might die before she could kill him if his protégé was blown to bits. The captain would have less influence, but it might be safer to have her out of it first; she was more of a threat if she somehow evaded the bio-bomb and devised a plan against her.

The LEP transport just pulled into E37. Opal’s heart began to race faster, finally, after all this time she was moments from killing her enemies.

“Mervall?” she trilled.

Mervall Brill, of the Brill twins, approached his employer carefully. She had been acting a little more ruthlessly than she usually was ever sense they had busted her out.

“Yes?” he asked, projecting an image of the obedient servant he was. Opal said nothing. She was turned his way, though it was impossible to tell through the dim lighting if she was looking at him.

“Yes?” Merv asked again. Still nothing. Perhaps she can’t hear me, he thought, deciding to raise his voice a little.

Yes?” he half-shouted to Opal. This time she did say something.

“Mervall!” she screeched. “How many times have I told you and your twin to not shout in the shuttle?!? And, stop looking at me!”

Merv bowed his head to his feet. “I am sorry Miss Koboi,” he said, not bothering to point out she was breaking her rules, “but you were not answering me; I thought, perhaps, you were listening to a file.”

Opal gave her unfortunate lackey a crafty smile. “So you would interrupt me when I am listening to a crucial piece of information?”

Merv opened his mouth to reply, but Opal silenced him with a hand. “Grab me a truffle!” she demanded. Right next to her hoverchair, there was a large bowl of any chocolate you could imagine.

“Yes, ma’am.” Merv said, bowing as he approached the bowl. Selecting one at random, Merv handed the sweet over to Opal, keeping his face averted from hers. The pixie snatched it from Merv’s hand and inspected it.

“Idiot!” Opal screeched, throwing the candy back at him. “This is not the truffle I wanted! Get me one! And get me one while I’m waiting!”

Every person has a breaking point, and Mervall Brill’s had just snapped. He was sick and tired of all this kowtowing to his psychopathic boss. She was never satisfied with the work he and Scant brought her, she always insulted them, she thought she was so smart. Mervall’s hand whipped his new blaster that Opal had given them and fired away at the pixie.

Opal saw what was happening and her eyes widened; she was totally unprepared for something like this. Before she could even half-formulate a plan, seven shots had been fired and struck her dead. Her last thought, before death claimed another was, D’arvit! I didn’t even get to bump one of my enemies off.

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Comments on This Post

59 responses to “What if…?.” Join in!

  1. Woah! A little different.

  2. Very. Depending on how life goes, I may have chapter two up in a week. But I’m aiming for a little less.

  3. This was cool! ^_^

  4. I just want to pre-warn you: chapter 2 will contain an infringement on TOD. I suppose I could upload a chunk of 2 now…

  5. Did you finish chapter one?

  6. I’m sorry, I have to correct myself: 1) I have not startedon chapter 2 I meant to say chapter 1 and, 2) no, there’s some more to chapter one.

  7. Excellent! Five stars! artymon is a great writer!

  8. Okay, that was weird. Another comment vanished. Thanks Vera, do you think I should continue?

  9. That is such a cool idea :Merval kills Opal, so how does everybodys lifes play out without her?
    5 stars.

  10. Thank you! I always get weird ideas like this when I’m reading…

    I wonder if Scant would fit in with killing Opal too…

    Noy sure when I’m going to update; I had this other idea I wanted to do. And I still have to work on ‘Something for Boredom’ sometime…

  11. aww… PLEASE UPDATE!

    hmmm, i think I am going to go read ‘something for boredom’

  12. Did the Jackal fall down?

  13. Kierisa12, I could probably leave this story as is, not finishing, and it would still be a decent story. And my ‘Something for Boredom’ story was taken down weeks ago; it was deemed to be ‘pointless,’ but I could send you a copy of it if you wanted.
    Mayqueen17, been awhile since you last commented. Well, not THAT long or anything…
    Did Jackal fall down? Why did Picasso CUT off his EAR? I dunno (Frank Kincaid aka Christopher Walken, Disaster ride in Universal Studios), but I can tell you this: Life is full of conflict.
    Entertainment is when conflict happens to other people.
    On that note, I leave you for now.
    —the crazy Artymon, ladies and gentlemen.

  14. Of course I think you should continue! And by the way, Picasso wasn’t the one who cut his ear off. That was Van Gogh.

  15. GAR! That’s annoying with this crack down of comments. Anyway, I’m uploading a chappoe now…

  16. Ya, I was wondering why I couldnt find ‘something for boredom’ oh well!

  17. You want me to send it to you? I’m not sure when I’m relaunching it. After I finish this story. And after the sequel I have planned for What if…?

  18. na, thats ok. with the amount I have on my plate, I doubt I would have time to read it. THANKS FOR UPDATING!

  19. artymon and his Fill-In (me) November 6th, 2008 at 3:37 am 19

    Your welcome! *bows and reuses his same old tired cliche*
    I think I can upload a little more right now…

  20. sooo, when are you updating?

  21. Sorry I haven’t been here in a while! My connection went kaput, and the internet is back now! (As you can see) Pls update!

  22. Ahem… Artymon, look in your closet please. 8)

  23. Kierisa12, I really need a day where I can have the computer for a good couple of hours to plot away. I may be able to type a bit if I stay up late.
    Vera, I’m sorry about your *cough* technical difficulties. Velcome back!
    Miasaki, NO!!!!!!!!! I SERIOUSLY WOULD NOT DOUBT YOU HAVE STARTED TO STALK ME IN ATTEMPTS AT SOME SORT OF REVENGE!!!!
    Mister Chapstick? Should I? No waY! No way man! I am not! I will not!
    To check, or not to check? That is thy question of thee.

  24. Thanks for your “velcome back”! Haha.Dude, do you happen to have something to do with my technical difficulties? o_0? I’ll be watching you. You never can trust those crazy ones.

  25. Ummmm*looks shifty* ehhhh no?
    Me: You lie!
    Artymon: SHUT UP!! *He jumps out window*
    Me: You idiot! You’re on the ninth floor!!!
    Okay, fill-in here, I ran to the window, and I heard Artymon fall, but I didn’t see his body. So, he could still be out there…

  26. Fill-in, do a better job in killing artymon next time. And I’ll be watching out for artymon too…..

  27. Will do Vera!
    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
    Okay, Artymon reappeared and I was forced to shoot him with a shotgun. Our battle led us out to a highway where I shot him and he fell in the pathway of a HUGE 80 wheeler semi truck and that was the last I saw of him.

  28. o rly? I hope that’s the last we see of him. I’M STILL WATCHING YOU ARTYMON!

  29. artymon, you dared to DIE!!! I shall now bring you back to life and kidnap you! And then I will force you to write all the rest of the stories exclusively for me!

    Muahahaha

  30. DUDE FILL-IN do NOT kill Artymon!!!!!! 👿

  31. I, Fill-in, have captured Artymon Artymon (I haven’t a clue what his last name is). I am now selling him off to the highest bidder!

  32. hmmm… do i really want him? I suppose he could be useful somehow… ok, 80$ going once?

  33. Ehem… hr zn r rm gsv hglb bvg? li wl r xlnv rm ozgvi?

  34. $90! (what is this? eBay?) erm k12… What?

  35. 500$! What what? do you mean my coded writing? oh, thats for Artymon to know. I used the code Artymon talked about on the send in the mail

  36. SWEET! I never knew someone would wanna pay so much for a total nutcase! But, never look a gift horse in the mouth, I guess…
    Artymon asked me to say this, Helen:
    Ehhhhh……thank you? I am going to take that as a compliment of some sort…

  37. Yes, not so much for you…. more like to torture you. People would pay millions for that. I can’t outbid you.

  38. Even though I’m not collecting? I would pay to see Artymon tortured.

  39. What??!!!! You’re a masochist too??!!!!

  40. I am very scared now…I just looked “masochist” up and found:
    Psychiatry. the condition in which sexual gratification depends on suffering, physical pain, and humiliation.
    2. gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc., inflicted or imposed on oneself, either as a result of one’s own actions or the actions of others, esp. the tendency to seek this form of gratification.
    3. the act of turning one’s destructive tendencies inward or upon oneself.
    4. the tendency to find pleasure in self-denial, submissiveness, etc.

  41. I meant too as in a masochist along with your other phsycotic illnesess

  42. Ah. I’m still writing this from the safety of under my bed. Wait…under the bed…AHHHHHHHHHHH! THAT’S WHERE THE BOOGY-MAN LIVES!!!!!!!!!

  43. I guess I win you Artymon!!! I expect free shipping and handling! (just wait til he sees all the Ehem, stuff, waiting for him.) MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  44. Nothing good, I imagine. Finally Artymon is going to get what he deserves!
    —Fill-In

  45. Oh, I have seven siblings, NO ONE WOULD SUSPECT SOMTHIN GOOD FROM THAT! Oh, I have many things planned for him! (when should I expect him?)
    I know your working on your Christmas story, but I am going to say this anyway.
    UPDATE!

  46. Ojay! I am about 3/4 way finished with the X-Mas thing, and, FedEx doesn’t come cheap these days! You’re getting shipping and handling for free, ya know!
    Possibly this Sunday. Either Sunday, or early Monday.

    GRR! It irritates me that the plans I have on the Future all hinge on this single story! I think I’m almost done (perhaps one or two more chapters).

  47. I will expect him tommorow or the day after! 😈

  48. Hmm. I called the post office, and they say between where I mailed him, and where he was being sent, that there was some sort of incident, and all they got was a box in shreds.
    Artymon is still out there….
    —Fill-In
    P.S. I am done with that friggin’ X-Mas thing, so I can continue with this.

    Okay, I posted a comment below this, but it got deleted. However, I believe I am well within the bounds of the AF:FF rules to edit part of my comment to tell you:

    A) I told Artemis I’d get my revenge for interrupting me….

    and B), I am now working on Das Futur.

    Put zat in your pipe and zumoke it!

  49. OMGosh! that was friggin sad! 🙁 it was also TAWESOME! (totaly awesome)

  50. what the heck is going on here?? i’m cracking up but i’m completely lost!! prolly no one reads these anymore but what are yall talking about???

  51. If they dont make sense, dont bother making sense of them. If your talkin bout the story, I dont know how you could not get it.

    Artymon- I didnt get the whole thing with Minnie at the end.

  52. *sigh* Okay, remember in TLC, when demons start popping up? And how Minerva knew about demons for two years? And how she abducted Nâ—‹1? Well, I wanted to say that that part would still exist in my alternative world, that Minnie knows of them, that, she proceeds with her devious plans. Why? You shall see in chapter V of What if…? II…

  53. Oh, ok.. but why didnt No1 pop up at the right place? anyway, I shall wait for some updates to What if…? 2…

  54. The “What if” of What if…? I was, “What if Opal Koboi was killed?”
    The “what if” of What if…? II is, “What if Nâ—‹1’s time spell went wrong, rather than send Holly and Artemis 8 years into the Past.”
    I will update What if…? II now…

  55. so where DO they end up? (too lazy to read the story cause it’s, like 11:30 over here.)

  56. *yawn* 12:20 here, and, well, Artemis, Holly, and Nâ—‹1 of What if…? II end up in the aftermath of What if…? I.
    GO INDY!!!!

  57. ArtemisFowlfan96 January 11th, 2009 at 11:10 pm 57

    your crazy, especially in ch. 6 where u say Artemis is gonna regret interupting u… ur very crazy! But, good story

  58. xox Miss Livia xox January 18th, 2009 at 4:59 am 58

    INDY?!?! INDY!!!

  59. Ze one and only madam.

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