What if Opal’s Second plan worked? Award Winner! 1st

Summary: What if Opal’s second plan succeeded. Set in the events of The Opal Deception For the last few months Earth […]

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What if Opal’s second plan succeeded.

Set in the events of The Opal Deception

For the last few months Earth had been a warzone, on the surface and under the surface.

It started when Opal Koboi’s plan to bring human and faeries together worked…..for a while. The humans were astounded by the wealth of resources underground, specifically Haven City. Opal tried to control the rest of the humans by Mesmer but her magic was quickly diminishing. Soon the world leaders had moved to try and gain some of the underground resources, but the faeries refused. The leaders tried to gain it by sheer force but they failed. This is the story of what if Opal Koboi’s plan succeeded and the war that followed.

Chapter 1: Smoke and Ash

“Come on, Artemis!” Holly urged.

The four of them, Mulch, Artemis, Holly and Butler, had been trekking through Dublin for two days now, trying to find shelter.

The smell of the smoke coming from what remained of the city was overwhelming. For a few days the Faeries of the Tara post at E1 were fighting against the humans, and the Faeries gained the upper hand.

Artemis sighed. “This is a far cry from what was Dublin two months ago. The fighting changed everything.”

“You can’t even find a decent cafe here!” moaned Mulch.

A whirring sound came from the distance.

“Get down!” Butler shouted.

Two Nutrino beams came from the distance, just missing them.

A figure emerged from behind a pile of rubble “Name and race.” He demanded.

Artemis stepped forward, “Me and butler are humans, Holly is an elf and Mulch a dwarf, who are you?”

The figure took off a hood “My name is Visalka, but most call me Vi. I am a elf.”

“Then why haven’t you shot us yet?” Butler asked.

With all the fighting going on, the faerie races had to change from non-violent to violent or be mined out off the face of the Earth. The Elfin ground forces had gotten orders from High Command to stun all human civilians.

Visalka put his finger to his lips “Stay silent and come with me!”

Holly looked at Artemis, “What do you say? Should we trust him?”

Artemis shrugged “In this warzone, you cannot trust anyone, but I think we should go with him….for now.”

Visalka lead the group to a warehouse in Dublin harbour. It was easy to evade all the Elfin sentries on guard.

Inside, it was dark. Visalka lead them to the wall at the far side of the warehouse.

“Stay still,” he said. He knocked on a grey patch of wall, “Victor Alpha Alpha” He said.

A small part of the wall slid open, two eyes stared out. “Password?”

Vasalka sighed, “Red Hawk, now open up!”

The grey patch opened up, revealing a lift.

After some time (And endless iris and palm scans) the group arrived at some sort of underground laboratory.

Holly wondered out loud, “All this security, who could have made this?”

A door slid open in front of them, “Foaly!”

Chapter 2: The Resistance

Foaly looked surprised, “Holly! Artemis! I never thought….I thought you two didn’t make it…”

“What about us?” asked Butler and Mulch simultaneously.

“Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about you two!” Foaly winked.

Artemis was more intrigued at the facility, “How did you make this? And who are these people? I would have thought you would have joined the underground.”

“If I had, the war would have been over in a week. We are the resistance, we fight to sustain peace. The Council was severely corrupted at the time of Opal’s plan. Normally, we would have gone into hiding but the council, led by Ark Sool, took aggressive action against the humans.”

Holly’s eyes filled with anger at hearing Ark Sool.

“What can we do to help? We have nowhere else to go.” She asked.

Foaly pressed a button, making a small hatch slide open. The room behind was filled with thousands of guns, body armour and equipment.

Foaly smiled, switching on a monitor.

“Like I said, we are the resistance, we do whatever we can.”

For the next hour Foaly explained their situation. The humans were scattered all over the planet, and the faries were sitting underground. Their only lead was Belinda, the name Opal went by.

They had tracked her to a country called Serbia, in Eastern Europe.

“Foaly,” said Mulch, “I suppose we go in, find out what we can, go all superhero on Opal again, then get out?”

“Yes, Mulch, that’s the plan.”

“What’s new…”

“I have to warn you though, this mission is very dangerous, and I can’t force you to go.” Foaly warned

Butler immediately stood up, “Where do we get the guns?”

Location: Haven City Council

The events in the last few months have changed the council, the only two that were not corrupt were Vinyaya and a newcomer to the council, Adal.

The council was bent on war, thanks to Opal’s contacts within the council.

Ark Sool (Now head of the council) was busy pointing out some things on holographic map

“The humans have a large concentrate of forces in this region, called North America, I suppose most of you know that already but some people need explaining. Haven’s finest are prepared to launch an assault on the capital, Washington D.C, but we will need some backing. Council member Feral, is your Atlantean Devilfish squadrons ready to take the harbour?”

“Yes sir, they are…”

“Sir!” A young elf interrupted.

“What?” asked Ark, looking angry.

“We picked up a signal coming from Dublin harbour, it looked like a fairy stealth transport.”

Chapter 3: Welcome to Serbia

The shuttle descended on a small farm

“Okay, the Serbian resistance has a small base in that farm down there,” Foaly’s voice came through the speaker in the shuttle, “The password is: Greet the new day”

The shuttle landed in a small patch of ground and two resistance soldiers rushed to where the shuttle landed and became visible.

Holly stepped out, “Relax, we are friends.”

The resistance soldier looked suspicious “A dawn is coming.” He said.

“Greet the new day.”

The soldier smiled “Sorry for the security, we cannot trust anyone in this world.”

“Artemis, stick by me.” Butler said.

The soldier lead them to a barn. Inside were monitors, a weapon cache, maps, radios and a large M84 NORA-A Anti-Amour cannon. Butler smiled when he saw the gun.

“Aleksandar, we have visitors.” The soldier shouted. A man emerged from behind a monitor.

“Greetings. We have been expecting you.” He went over to a large map.

The map showed a large military compound in the middle, a hill to the southwest, a swamp to the northwest and a town to the east.

Aleksandar pointed to the compound, “This is where we believe Belinda is hiding. Accompanied by Giovanni Zito she is possibly underground.” He pointed to the hill.

“We will have three snipers on the hill with M93 Black Arrow sniper rifles, two teams of soldiers moving in from the swamp, three squads in the village with the M84 NORA-A cannon giving supporting fire. You, Visalka, me and Aleksa, our finest operative, will move in with Cam Foil to surround the compound.”

“The world has changed,” Holly thought, “Two years ago Cam Foil would be something straight out of a Science Fiction movie. Now, it’s in common use with human special ops teams.”

They went over the weapon cache and chose their guns.

Butler went for a M84 Heavy Machine Gun

Holly had her Neutrino 360s from Foaly. Neutrino 360s had been outlawed by the LEP, they fired a revolving disc of energy, cutting through most substances.

Artemis, not having much knowledge in handling weapons, took a CZ05 pistol.

Mulch took a Neutrino 3000

Vasalka took a M91 Sniper rifle.

Location: Haven City Council

Ark Sool was furious, the missiles he fired to destroy the Stealth Shuttle were deactivated halfway.

A chain was emerging, first the Bio Bombs going off at Budapest, then the sunken weapon ships and now the deactivated missiles.

Chapter 4: The Unknown

“Hold up,” Came the call through the radio, Artemis, Mulch,Holly,Visalka,Aleksander,Butler and Aleksa had surrounded the compound. **

“Snipers, take out the guards.” Visalka called.


Two bodies fell from the guard towers.

“All squads, engage on my mark…”

“GO! GO! GO!”

Fire erupted across the field as sentry guards and resistance fighters opened fire, the NORA-A opened up holes in the wall surrounding the compound.

“Holly, watch out!” Mulch called.

Holly ducked just as a Koboi Labs AC1D cannon opened fire at her head.

“You owe me a beer when this is over”

The wall had opened up sufficiently to pass through.

The five proceeded through the hole, dodging the laser and bullet fire.

Inside the compound it was madness, sentries rushing about, emergency alarms going off and searchlights lighting up the sky.

Artemis, Holly and Aleksa had entered the compound when a force field enveloped the compound, shutting the rest out and stopping the resistance fighters from doing damage.

“I don’t like this…” Aleksa remarked,

“Why would Opal shut us off like this?”

A voice sounded through the loudspeakers in the compound, “Commencing missile launch in ETA five minutes. Repeat, mass hydrogen terra-bio bomb is launching in ETA five minutes, commence evacuation immediately!”

Holly’s face went white, “I should have know, Serbia is the biggest resistance country on Earth, or so Foaly told me.”

Aleksa looked confused “What is this Mass Hydrogen bomb they talk about?”

Holly sighed, “The MHYTBB is a huge bomb, specifically developed by Opal to mix the destruction of a human Hydrogen bomb and a fairy bio-bomb, except one of them is sufficient to wipe out the whole of England. After detonation, it takes five seconds for it to start working, a slight delay. But the smoke and fire is still there.”

“Stay still or you might find a hole in your back,” A sprite had found them, pointing a Neutrino Ripper at their back.

“I stand still for no-one,” Aleksa did a backflip, landed behind the sprite and snapped his neck with her arms.

“Launch commences in ETA three minutes” The voice came through the speakers again

“Let’s move!” Holly whispered, taking charge.

They went through the hallways, hiding in the many vents and gaps.

At last they came to a large door marked in red.

“I think I know how to crack the code” Artemis set about cracking the code on the keypad.

“Launch ETA one minute”

From above their heads, through a hole blasted by the NORA-A cannon, they could see many shuttles leaving the base.

They keypad beeped and the door slid open, revealing a huge underground missile silo with a massive rocket in it, humming ominously.

“Launch ETA thirty seconds”

“Artemis, here quick!” Holly shouted from the other end of the silo.

There was a large keypad with numerous buttons.

“Launch ETA twenty seconds”

“I think I can reprogram the missile to detonate in outer space….Damn! The code…its…It’s like an eternity code. I cant do this!”*

“Launch ETA ten seconds!”

“Hurry artemis!”


The earth shook as the missile took off, leaving smoke in its wake.

“NOOO!” Holly shouted, leaning over the railings.

The rocket lifted through the air, then came back down again on the compound.

The entire Serbia was enveloped in smoke, fire and radiation.

Then, everything froze.

The smoke.

The explosion.

The horrified expressions.

Then, two figures appeared, both in hovering chairs and some kind of highly advanced life support on the chairs.

Artemis was the only one not frozen.

“Artemis,” Their voices came in simultaneously.

“We have been watching you”

“Who..who..who are you?”

“We are the united two.”

“How did you get in here and survive the blast? Are my friends going to be alright?”

“Who and what we are is of no importance now, your friends will be fine”

“What is your purpose here?”

“If the bomb destroys Serbia, the resistance capital, it will be lost, both the fairy and human leaders are terribly corrupt, the situation underground is at breaking point, and your friends will be lost. I offer you a choice, The war never happened, but all your friends are dead, and you get whatever you wish for, or time resumes and we let it run its course.”

Artemis wondered, walking around the silo, amidst the explosion.

A little piece of the chamber was still intact, a notepad, Artemis went over to read it.

“Take all the time you need, Artemis.”

Diary Of Lynar Kell

Day 16 The human mind is wonderful in many ways, as my experiments with Opal continued on captive humans, we went to futher testing a few days later

Day 18 Opal has started to test the deeper, undiscovered parts of the human brain.

Day 20 While experimenting with subject 617, we discovered an anomaly. When accessed by powerful will and force to save another’s life who was a complete friend to him, there was extreme brain activity in some sectors of his brain.

The compound shook and glass broke, but strangely, subject 616 was still unharmed, even after she dropped into the pit, somehow, the brain activity of 617 prevented her from getting hurt but Subject 617 suffered the pain of the pit.

Day 29 After more experiments we discovered that it only happens when the subject has a relationship with the tested subject, for instance, subject 456 failed to prevent 623 from getting hurt, because he always hated 623.

Day 32 Opal has now declared that there is powerful magic in the human brain, yet still unexplored.

Day 50 We discontinued work on the Human Magic to work on Opal’s new Terra-Bio bomb.

Day 267 We are under attack by resistance! Opal will launch the bomb today on the compound, wiping out Serbia, we must NOT let them get hold of any of our experiments. And we can take some resistance with us as well. Right now we are evacuating in emergency shuttle pods.

End of diary.

Artemis was stunned, human magic? Of course only a powerful brain could unlock that possibility. He turned to face the united ones.

“And If I, by some miracle, manage to save them and Serbia by myself?”

“I guess then you can go and run your natural course.”

Artemis wondered, had the united ones allowed him to see the unharmed diary, to let him find a way?

He glanced at Holly and Aleksa.

He had found a way to save them, but the words of the diary, “Subject 617 felt the pain of the pit…” Would this mean he would get hurt? But he had changed since his first days.

If he had just found a way, he would do it.

“I will let things run their course he said.”

“Well, we will let it be so then.”

Artemis went over to Holly and whispered in her ear, “Goodbye…I hope I can do something for the world.”

He could have swore her expression changed.

He concentrated with all his might while the explosion resumed. He thought of Butler,Foaly, Holly, Vinyaya, Trouble and Commander Root.

In a brilliant flash, the explosion got sucked back into the silo, with just Artemis stopping it from going further.

“Goodbye Artemis…” Holly whispered.

The entire inside of the Silo disintegrated, a wave of pure energy from the bomb rose, coming further up the silo.

You could see the line of energy rising straight up into the air, not harming anything other than what was in the silo’s hole. And that “What” was Artemis.

Chapter 5: The darkness of the light

“Artemis, NO!” Holly could barely hold back her tears.

Aleksa kneeled down on the ground, “He was a fine boy, but we can grieve over our losses later, Captain, for now, we need to link up with the teams on the outside of the compound.”

They made their way through the deserted compound when Aleksa spotted Butler and Aleksander.

“Aleksa, ne smemo se obmanjivati, what happened inside the chamber. And quickly, prosto nemamo kad!” Aleksander called, (We must not deceive ourselves. We are being pushed for time!)

Aleksa replied back, “Zašto?” (Why?)

“The news that the bomb has not detonated spread quickly, the Fairy Coalition is heading here to search the compound for documents. What happened in there?”

Holly replied suddenly, “Artemis, he used some sort of, some sort of magic, but immensely powerful.”

“So where is he?”

“He…he died. He had to sacrifice himself to save us, and Serbia.”

Butler looked more shaken and saddened as ever, but would not speak, as this was a time of war.

A call came from one of the men, “Zapovednik! Look! Over the horizon!”

From the horizon came two fairy Dreadnought Destroyer Alpha-class ships, the best of the fairy fleet.

Aleksander reacted quickly. “Man the stinger sites in the town! Someone get on the AA missiles in the compound! On my signal…..FIRE!!!”

The missiles fired in a blaze of smoke, but simply exploded on the shield of the Dreadnoughts.

“Cease fire!” Came the call from the ships.

Holly stood straight up, she knew that voice. “Is that who I think it is?”

“This is Wing Commander Vinyaya and Armour Commander, Adal.”

Excited cheers broke out between the men, “We’re saved!”

The two Dreadnoughts landed in the field and loaded all the troops and equipment onto them.

With a few bumps, due to the Dreadnoughts’ size, they rose and were heading to the Southern African coast.

“Commander, where are we going”, asked an eager Butler.

“As long as there is food…” Commented Mulch

“We are heading to the Prince Edward islands of the coast of South Africa.”

Holly looked surprised. “The Vela Base?”

“Yes, the last resistance hideout, next to Serbia, which has pretty much been rendered obsolete by the Fairy Coalition coming there and the Dublin base has moved.”

“Excuse me if I missed out on a history lesson, what exactly was is the Vela base?” Mulch said, knowing nothing about history as usual.

Butler sat up, “I’ve heard about it, it was a supposed nuclear test between the South African and Israeli military.”

“Ah, but that is where you are wrong,” Vinyaya continued, “It was actually preparation for a time like this. We knew that if humans were to discover the fairy’s underground cities, we would need a new place to hide, or war. So we dropped one of our satellites out of orbit loaded with automatic robots and building and construction materials. Within a year we had an underground base. The council would have already been onto it now but thanks to our special technology, we had concealed it from Sool, a miracle mostly.”

They at last reached the Prince Edward Islands.

A call came through on the monitors and a sprite’s face appeared.

“Unidentified dreadnou—Commander Vinyaya! We have been expecting you!”

Suddenly, the whole island had massive city on it.

Mulch responded to the astounded human faces, “These are radio cloaking devices, you can only see the things if you had a permission call from the chief operators.”

When they were coming in for landing, the whole mountain opened up allowing them to land inside the mountain base.

A ramp extended, letting the entire resistance force of Serbia place their equipment in the massive underground base.

An elf came to guide them, he led them to a large room with a table in the middle of it.

Foaly came in, followed by two gnomes. “Bodyguards,” he explained.

“Foaly I am so glad to see a familiar face!” Holly said as she hugged him.

They sat down at a table to discuss the situation.

Foaly pointed to a screen showing the Fairy Coalition searching through the compound.

“Sooner or later, they will find the documents of Opal, then hell will break loose.”

“Do we have any chance?” Holly asked.

“There is one, the council, its corrupt, right? Well, if we can somehow get rid of the part of the council that is corrupt.” The rest of the room looked shocked. “This is not our normal happily-ever-after adventure. The world has changed for the last few years. It isn’t the same. Its now, our only chance. There will be a temporary cease fire on 30 March in effect when Ark Sool and his cronies come to Washington D.C to have a talk with the President Michael Craft. That will be our ideal time to take them out, it will be highest security of course. But wasent Jon Spiro also?”

Mulch nodded, “So who is our team?”

“Sorry Mulch, it will be Holly, Aleksa, Visalka and Artemis, if time permits.”

Holly looked confused, “But Artemis is dead!”

Foaly activated another monitor, showing a room with a boy clad in bandages, on a highly advanced life support.

“We hope he will be back up in a month, before the conference.”

“But…but…he was disintegrated…”

“I don’t know either, his body was found by one of our scout shuttles on their routine course of the Indian Coast.”

Then the two gnomes pulled out laser rifles and pointed them both at the centaur.

“If anybody moves, the donkey gets it.”

Holly pulled out her two Neutrino 360’s.

“Not if I can help it,” she said and fired.

Artemis’ face showed recognition as he woke from his coma, watching the chaos unfold through the monitors installed on his wall for if he awakes.

Then, one of the rifles fired….and hit Mulch in the head.

Holly fired and the spinning disc of energy and it grazed the gnome hitting the gnome behind him.

Butler rushed to the gnomes and quickly knocked the unconscious while Holly attended to Mulch.

The after the med crews have been to the area and the army units were interrogating the gnomes, someone whispered in Foaly’s ear. His face went blank.

“Whats wrong?” Asked Holly.

“The conference, its two days from now!”

Chapter 6: Countdown

In the med room, it was dark, mostly due to no need for light.

“Artemis, are you alright?” Holly asked, concerned.

“I will manage as how I am. What has happened during the time I have been unconscious?”

“The Serbian resistance force has all moved to this island base. And in two days we need to ‘attend’ to a conference, where we can take out the council leaders.”

“Has this base got sufficient spa….ARGHH!”

A figure, dressed in black. Talking, no wait. Telepathy, now there are two figures on life support systems. One with pointed ears, the other with normal, human ears.


“I was…having a flashback, I guess those were only trauma as what happened in the silo….THE SILO!”

“Yes, Artemis?”

“Never mind, you won’t understand.”

Artemis struggled up, and walked with Holly to the main conference centre.

When they reached the conference centre, Butler was extremely happy to see Artemis.

“I thought…you were dead…”

“Here I am old friend alive. Will Mulch make it?”

“I am sure he will, luckily the blow just grazed his head.”

Foaly explained their mission; they would leave in shuttles in a few minutes to the outskirts of Washington D.C. They would be near the only gap in Washington’s defenses, found by Foaly’s scans and machines. Then they would proceed on foot to the White House and find a secure spot to set up the Cam-Foil tent.

Haven City Council Chambers

Ark Sool was busily making preparations for when he would come to Washington.

“I need three Alexon Annihilator battleships as escort, a Firefly gunship squad to support them and Hornet tanks on the ground. And of course my Death Hand.

“Won’t the humans react badly to all this armor?” A lesser member asked.

“I already took care of that, you fool! A fat wad of cash was all I needed to let the War General allow my escort.”

White House, Washington D.C

“Mr.Croft, do you require any security?” The advisor asked.

“I do not believe they shall be necessary in our mission, our fairy negotiator will understand the ceasefire I have put into effect, but just in case, I want the entire USAF squads on standby, the tank and marine divisions in orbit, ready to drop.”

“That is a lot of security, sir.”

“I have no doubt they will be bringing Ark’s Death Hand, the size of that thing…its huge. If it were to engage our forces, we need all we can get.”

“You know sir, if we manage to kill Ark, the underground resources will be ours by minimum conflict…”

Resistance base, Prince Edward islands.

Holly, Visalka, Artemis and Aleksa were getting ready to board the shuttles.

Butler walked to Artemis, “I can’t go on this mission with you, but I hope it will be the last of this whole damn war.”

“I hope so too, Butler. We can even rebuild Fowl Manor.”

The shuttles lifted up into the air, with almost all the people of the Resistance base waving.

“Shuttle one to shuttle two, follow my lead, heading north-west to America, stealth shields on, course vector set, avoid any naval or coast based installations.”

“Roger that, engaging formation mode.”

Shuttle one was carrying the mission team, while shuttle two was carrying the equipment.

Artemis gazed out the windows.

The two figures talking, “Artemis…Artemis…wake up…”

A coast, long and stretching. A shuttle, a stretcher….darkness.

Day two: Conference day.

The shuttles arrived and they had spent the night in their Cam-Tents.

The morning, they were met with an awesome sight: Three huge massive fairy battlecruisers, a squad of Firefly gunships, Hornet tanks and Euro Fighter Typhoon jets.

“What…the…” Visalka gazed up at the massive formations above their heads, “If these negotiations go wrong, Washington would be a bomb scarred ghost town by the evening. These forces here are enough to take over a small country.”

Artemis gazed up at the sky, “This needs to be a silent mission, we need to keep moving though, get the Cam Suits.”

They donned the Cam Suits and headed out towards the back of the White House, avoiding all the guards.

Cam Suits were designed by Foaly, using the best of Shielding and Cam Foil without the bad parts.

They moved around to the rear windows, using another one of Foaly’s gadgets, the REG (Rapid Entry Gun, which cuts a hole in the object, not stopping until it reached another room, and sealing the hole as soon as the user entered), They emerged in the office.

Artemis whispered through the radio channels, “This is too easy, for a top level operation.”

Aleksa agreed, “These devices are wonderful, but I do not think they would allow such easy entry into the White House.

Holly was busy finding the best vantage point, “Remember this is the White House, not a military installation. In here,” she said, moving to a large fireplace. “This should be large enough for Artemis and me. “Aleksa and Visalka, hide behind the filing closet.”

Two hours later, Croft and Sool arrived.

They sat down at both ends of the table.

“Let’s get straight to the the point,” Michael said, with a hint of anger at Sool, “the purpose of this meeting is to propose a temporary ceasefire.”

Sool lit up a fungus cigar.

“For how long, mud man?”

“Two years, ten hopefully.”

“Do you think I am that stupid? You will just gather up your forces and invade me, while I am under the impression we were on a ceasefire.”

“That’s not my plan! I am proposing that so we might start proposing a permanent peace treaty.”

“There is no chance of that, Mud man. You want our recources, I want your countries.”

Croft frowned, he expected the negotiations to be easier, he had underestimated this fairy.
“Why are you frowning, Croft? I have a fleet here that could decimate you easily!”

Michael frowned again, he did not like threats.

“Are you threatening me, fairy? You do not know that if it weren’t not for the cease fire in effect my advanced anti-air defences would have utterly annihilated you pitiful fleet.”

“Well guess what, the cease fire is IN effect now, and no-one will know what is going on in here.”

Ark pulled out his Neutrino 3000, and Michael pulled out his Desert Eagle.

Holly and Visalka unshielded, Visalka pointing his Neutrino at Ark and Holly’s at Michael.

A circle, anyone could snap and shoot.

“How the heck did you two get in here?” Ark demanded.

Visalka prodded Ark with his Neutrino, “Shut up, or you won’t have have anything left of that small brain of yours.”

Michael looked angered. “We do not know who you are or where you came from but stay out of this!”

Artemis unshielded behind Sool, “Remember this name, Artemis Fowl.” He hesitated, then pulled the trigger.

Sool’s body fell to the floor with a large burn mark on his neck.

Michael looked very afraid now, “I’ll do whatever you want, just don’t kill me.”

A gnome burst through the door, “Commander Sool, the humans have…D’arvit.”

He looked at the scene, Croft standing with a Desert Eagle, two fairies and two humans, and the dead commander.

“You killed Sool! Gamma to Death Hand, Michael has ended the ceasefire, ENGA—“

His talk was cut short by Aleksa, standing in the corner with a Neutrino 360.

Holly peered through the window while Visalka handcuffed Michael.

“D’ARVIT! The Death Hand is charging up her weapons, and I can see drop pods coming in from the horizon and there is a….DUCK!!!!!!!”

A moment later a plasma blast tore through the building followed by two drop pods landing in the office.

Artemis flung aside and hit the wall, Visalka’s leg got caught under the drop pod.

“Artemis! Visalka!” Holly shouted.

The drop pod’s door slid open and five marines clambered out. Aleksa and Holly cloaked.

“Alpha 1, elf under the pod.”

They pointed their guns at Visalka, “Say goodbye, elf!”


The marine fell on Visalka’s silent body.

Aleksa and Holly took care of the other five.

Artemis rose from the ash, “I wish a was a faster draw.”

Aleksa ran to Visalka, “I feel a pulse, weak but there, he needs medical NOW!

Holly knelt down, “Heal” she breathed as blue sparkes erupted from her hands.

Visalka stirred.

That’s when the USAF arrived.

Outside was total chaos, Abrams tanks and Hornets opening fire, smaller Euro Fighters engaging the bigger Battleships. Elfin troops engaging in brutal close up combat with the humans.

Above the noise Artemis heard a sound.

“This is the resistance and we have joined the fight.”

A few seconds later Resistance Praying Mantis jets flew across the skies and a Sea King helicopter arrived to pick up the four.

They grabbed onto the rope and a figure slid down the rope to help with Visalka.

Holly recognized him instantly. “Trouble! I haven’t seen you in a long time!”

“Holly, glad to see you, but we need to go now!”


A rocket hit the Sea King on the rotor.

“Take COVER!!” Trouble shouted as it crashed down upon them.

They ducked out of the way at the last second.


A giant mech lumbered onto the battlefield, tall, black and red with a large spike coming from its “wrists”

[IMG] http://www.conceptart.org/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=22341&stc=1&d=1158072957[/IMG]

Holly gasped, “The Colossus! I thought it was mythical, a legend!”

Trouble shook his head, “The Resistance built it using plans Foaly made.”

Then a voice came from the Colossus,

“This is Wing Commander Vinyaya of the Resistance, the cavalry have arrived!”

The colossus lumbered about, swinging its arm’s wildly, destroying anything in its path.

Then, a crackling sound and the Death Hand charged up its weapons and prepared to fire at the Colossus.


The Collossus came out of the line of fire at the last second as the concentrated laser beam blew a deep hole in the ground.

Being surprisingly agile, the Collosus jumped up at the Death Hand, which was hovering near the ground, and grabbed it by its frontal cockpit.

[IMG] http://esport.1t1t.com/starcraft/renbu/images09/Battlecruiser2.jpg[/IMG]

The Death Hand was shaped almost like a medieval axe, the blade at the front and the hilt at the back.

No matter what shape it was, it went down. Hard.

By now the battle was already tipping in the Resistance’s favor, the Colossus dominating the battlefield. Needless to say, the President’s garden was no more.

The fairies have already heard what had happened and instead of sending reinforcements, they tried to reinforce the defences of the underground cities.

Underground, the council chambers was chaos.

“Ark has been killed,” An eager gnome shouted, “I should take command of Haven now, I am, after all, the second in command.”


Adal stood behind the dead gnome, mud man pistol in hand.

“If anyone is taking command of the council, it’s gonna be me!

The rest of the council stood shocked. They were at a loss for words, or maybe the elf with a pistol had something to do with it. “All right, are you all listening? I want all forces diverted back to their Haven and our Atlantis base.”

“But…but…that means we hand the fight over to the Resistance.”


“As you say, sir.”

The White House

Vinyaya was barking orders through her headset on the Colossus, “I want all Praying Mantis’ divert their fire to the Dreadnought escorts, and all the Hammerhead tanks focused on those Abrams and could someone get that…look! Computer, Activate PA”

“PA Activated”

“Resistance forces, the faries are retreating, capture all the humans, spare as much life as possible.”

On the ground, the Resistance forces were already cheering, “HURRAH! HURRAH! HURRAH!”

The humans were all captured and the Resistance were awaiting further orders when a sprite came to Vinyaya, “I am here to send a message from the council, Adal has seized power and the fairy forces have retreated, but Opal remains missing.”

“We have one lead, though, send a message to RAF General Matthew Millhouse to prepare the Omega’s for launch, we gonna have to do this the hard way.”

“Anything else commander?”

“Tell them to pack Hazmat suits, we’re going to Chernobyl.”

Chapter 7: Opal’s S.T.A.L.K.E.R

On April 26, 1986,in Chernobyl, a disaster occurred at reactor no. 4, which has been widely regarded as the worst accident in the history of nuclear power. As a result, reactor no. 4 was completely destroyed and has since been enclosed in a concrete sarcophagus to prevent further escape of radiation. The population of nearby areas was evacuated. Large areas within Europe became contaminated by radionuclides and different kinds of cancer have been on the rise in Ukraine and neighboring Belarus, which received the greatest amount of fallout. Of course, during the war no one payed attention to it so the sarcophagus had degraded.

The only lead that the Resistance, or rather renamed as the L.E.S.F.D (Lower Elements Special Forces Division) had that Opal had been experimenting with radiation in the early years of war, and she had set up a small base around the Chernobyl reactor to study the effects of radiation. You might think the radiation would have cleared up by now, but also in the early years of the war, a nuke was detonated near the area, one of the experimental radioactive-bio bombs, that released extreme amounts of radioactive particles into the Chernobyl area.

Michael Craft was just a puppet of Opal’s, until the Resistance attack on her base in Serbia, where she left Croft on his own, while she retreated to her derelict Chernobyl base and fixed it but added force fields and more defences. Chernobyl was an increasingly hard site to build at because of some radioactive “blowouts” caused by the RB bombs. These “blowouts” caused strange and unpredictable weather changes and scrambled electrical equipment as well as some thunderstorms. Opal’s choice of last stand base was a good choice, because the L.E.S.F.D would never find her, she was the only thing standing between the Lower Elements and the humans collaborating.

She was wrong.

Location: Converted Fairy Coalition Orbital Carrier

The Orbital carriers were designed to provide an alternate means of carrying craft, and proved to be effective. Only Holly was chosen for the recon mission, due to her the only one capable of flying the one man Omega.

The Omegas were shaped like a normal Harrier plane, except with Fairy technology and space flight.

Holly soared down through the clouds, Foaly’s voice in her headset, “Okay Holly, remember that you are not here to start a fight but to recon for our attack later. So don’t try anything hasty, I recommend you land over there, by that wall over there.”

“Will do,” she said as she guided the shuttle down to the wall he specified.

“Foaly, I’m detecting some kind of anomaly by that reactor, no 4 I think.”

“Stay away from there, far away.”


“Just…stay away Holly.”

Holly frowned, this wasn’t like Foaly at all. Oh well, she thought, so she landed the shuttle.

The shuttle landed very silently, just making a barely audible hiss as it landed on the tall grass. The cockpit opened up, and Holly jumped out.

She crawled through a gap in the wall surrounding the reactor complex.

Her suit absorbed most of the radiation but she could feel it in the pair around her, this was a bad place, a simple malfunction caused this devastation. And the fairies didn’t exactly help by launching the RB’s.

Holly proceeded through the complex, shielded and cloaked by the best suit Foaly had to offer.

“Foaly, shouldn’t they have detected me by now? I’ve been sneaking around this place for a while.”

“They know that if they attack you it’s another Serbia.”

“But shouldn’t I have seen a base of some sort?”

“This is Opal, she uses the best. It must be either cloaked or hidden pretty damn well.”

Suddenly, Holly spotted a pair of glowing eyes in one of the buildings.

“Foaly? What is that?”

“Holly, I can’t hear you, radio contact is mini….ksssshhhhhhh.”

The rest was all static.

“D’arvit!” Holly swore. “Im on my own.”


The pair of glowing eyes grew closer, then it all went black.

“Da’arvit!” Foaly shouted, “We just lost all contact with Holly, we need to send a rescue team now, Visalka, take Aleksa with you and go!”

“Us?” They both asked.

“Yes you, now go, before there’s a nuclear meltdown or something,”

They both looked stunned.

“Just kidding, now go! Take the other Omega!”

Aleska and Visalka soon went down into the Chernobyl area.

“Hey, Foaly? Why does it look like there’s a thunderstorm down there?” Aleksa called into the headset from the backseat. “Foaly? Foaly? Visalka, we just lost contact with Foaly.”

“Great, the rescue team in need of rescue, let’s try to land and look for Holly first.”

They landed next to Holly’s Omega.

“Hey, look!” Aleksa said.

Where she was pointing was one of the Reactors, and they could just see Holly’s hair, inside one of the top windows.

Visalka picked up his weapon, “Let’s go then!”

They made their way to the reactor, and opened the creaking doors, finding themselves in a broken down corridor, then they headed upstairs. When they reached the top floor, they stood beside the door that Holly was in.

“Okay,” Visalka stood ready to kick the door open, “When I kick it open, we both charge in and point our guns to whatever moves, got it?”

“Okay, comrade, let’s do it!”

“3…2….1…GO GO GO!”

They burst through the door, with only Holly in the room, the roof groaning ominously.

“Holly, are you okay?”

She moved slightly but then slumped back.

Visalka knelt down, “Heal.” He breathed, and blue sparks erupted from his fingers.

Holly’s eyes opened suddenly, “Visalka?”

“Yes, we are here to rescue you, but a thunderstorm came up and we lost contact with base.”

Holly stood up, brushing the dust off her suit. “Where is my Neutrino?”

“It got lost probably, Aleksa brought two pistols though.”

Aleksa gave it to Holly. “Thanks,” she said, looking at the gun.

Suddenly, a door shut downstairs.

“A TRAP!!” Holly shouted as they ran downstairs.

They shook on the door, and even tried to shoot it down with their guns, but even then it wouldn’t move.

“How the…?” Holly said after she sank some shots in the door.

“Probably one of Opal’s tricks,” Visalka said, “Hey, isn’t there some kind of tunnel underneath this place? We can try go through there?”

“Which reactor is this?” Holly asked.

“I think it is No.4, it must have been restored, I thought it was blown up.” Aleska said.

“Reactor 4? Are you sure?” Holly remembered Foaly’s words. “I don’t think we should go, but what other choice do we have?”

“Oookay…lets go then!”

They advanced downstairs, into a large underground tunnel. They eventually reached a door in the dark, barely lit tunnel.

“Look,” Holly said, “It has a keypad!”

The keypad has numbers written on it, typical 0-9, with the enter button.

They tried different combinations, until Holly decided to try something unorthodox.

3991. The door’s light changed to green.

“That’s…that’s…that’s the code for the LEP Biological Division.” She said, her face going white.

Aleksa stood there thinking, “What could they have to do with these tunnels? Biological?”

“Let’s just keep moving.” Visalka said, but he was also thinking the same thing.

They proceeded even further through the maze of tunnels, then, there came a squeaking noise from one of the side passages.

“What was that?” They all asked simultaneously.

They walked down to the sidepassage.

Holly spotted it first, she almost puked.

“Guys…there’s something in here, it’s alive.”

They peeked and looked into the cell it was it, a grotesque large blob, no wait, it had a head, and little arms and legs. It looked like a blob of skin and flesh with a limbs stuck on. It kept on making squeaking noises.

“What the heck IS that thing?” Aleksa whispered.

Holly sighed, “I should have know, Foaly warned me to stay away from No.4, far away. And the Biological Division code. This was all the People’s work. It’s sickening.”

Visalka looked surprised, “But…but why did they do this, what use would it be?”

“They, a long time ago, started to experiment on things with radiation, so then they thought Chernobyl would be a good place, but I never knew they actually went here, I should have know to stay away. Let’s go, this is sickening.”

The creature, about 1 meter tall, looked at them with dark, jet black eyes. It moved to the edge of its cell. And then it rammed the cell bars, they bent a bit.

“Back away…” Holly warned.

It rammed the cell again and two of the bars smashed, its squeaking sound became more frequent and excited. For a third time it rammed the cell bars and through it went.

Aleksa turned her back, grabbing both of the stunned elves, “RUN!!”

They ran into the darkness, with the creature at their heels, until they came to a dead end.

“It’s been an honour fighting with you in this war,” Aleska said to Vislaka and Holly, “but its not over yet.” They all took out their guns and faced the monster, and opened fire till it wavered slightly. They just dodged it as it slammed into the wall and shot it on its back.

“EAEAAHGGHGHHHHH!” It cried as it dropped.

“Wow, why didn’t we do that earlier?” Visalka asked.

They moved onwards till they found the exit.

“Stay down!” Holly whispered, “The entire base is visible, guards, AA posts, apparently you have made them quite upset.”

There were guards patrolling the reactors and Plasma-Missile sites on the tops of some towers. There was even a miniature Firefly airfield where the Firefly gunships could refuel and rearm. Holly spotted 5 Hornet tanks around the area and even some Devilfish Attack Boats in the dam.

“Holly, we have re-established sound and visual contact and…is that Reactor 4?”

“Yes, we saw the thing…and killed it. But about that later, what do you suggest looking at the situation?”

Foaly sighed, a rush of static over the headset, “I hoped no-one would find out about it. Anyway, you have absolutely zero chance of getting out there now the base knows that you have been rescued so it’s all active now. It looks like mass attack is our only option. So you have to wait for reinforcements. The Carrier will arrive shortly.”

“Your bringing the CARRIER?!?!”

“Holly, have you seen Pripyat? Its more than we thought, there is a whole army assembled here, even the dam has a underwater defence system and shelter. This is going to be big, Opal has brought everything she has, it’s only by luck she escaped the scanners with her army arriving.”

“Okay, anything else I need to know?”

“Oh yeah, Artemis is coming, we need him to figure out the base’s code.”

“What code?”

“We need more information on those human experiments done in the Serbian compound. We only got a few notes, Opal probably has the rest. And we still need to figure out how to explain to the civilian population our peace treaty. The Carrier is entering the atmosphere now, stay put.”

Holly explained to the others.

Visalka frowned, “So we wait? Isn’t there something we can do to help?”

Location: Opal’s Chernobyl base

Opal was furious, “What do you mean they escaped through the labs?!?”

The sprite bent down, “Im sorry Miss Koboi, somehow they got through the old LEP labs. I presume the elf, Holly Short, did that part.”

Opal sat back in her chair, “We will have to wait for now. This war is not going according to plan. I wanted them to BOW TO ME! Instead I am on the brink of destruction, however, if that donkey-boy Foaly sends his army, I will go out with a bang as the humans put it. I presume the bombs are armed?”

“Of course Miss Koboi.”

“They better be, or you end up like those pixie twin fools.”

Location: Converted Fairy Coalition Carrier

Time: 8:59 PM

The Fairy Coalition Carriers were huge, like the shape of the Star Destroyers on the human movie, Star Wars. And as big too, they even had a whole cargo bay for if they needed to transport tanks and infantry, in this case, it was carrying the new Colossus, 20 Tyrant tanks (An updated version of the Hornet tanks, shaped like an American Abrams tank, but hovering of course.), and the whole L.E.S.F.D elite unit, comprising of Elfin LEPRetrieval units, South African Mercenaries, Israeli Special Forces and American Delta Force.

On the bridge there was a whole buzz of activity, getting the Carrier to actually unload its cargo near the Chernobyl area.

Artemis was wandering around the deck when Foaly asked his assistance on the hacking of the base, he was at the moment getting ready with Butler and Adal to board a Boomslang (Tree snake) light transport.

“Artemis, are you sure about this? It will be a warzone out there.” Butler asked as he got on the plasma gun on the back.

“Of course Butler, what has the rest of these few years been? A play zone?”

“You two, get ready, were going out as soon as the light hits the green and we land.”

From the others on the grounds point of view, it was simply breathtaking, sinking through the clowds was the massive carrier. Opal’s response though, was to send a few missiles heading its way, the shields all blocked them. It landed in an open field next to the town of Pripyat, and when its cargo doors were opened, hell was unleashed.

The fight started as soon as the first troops and the Tyrants left, the sentries in Pripyat opened fire with their neutrino 5000’s and the Hornets and Firefly’s rushed to meet the attackers. The sky was lit up with bright flashes of light as the Plasma and Neutrino guns opened fire. The Boomslang LTV rushed to the Chernobyl no.4 reactor where Holly, Vislaka and Aleksa were hiding, dodging the blasts around them.

They arrived at the no.3 reactor barely in one piece.

Butler jumped out first, “JUMP!” He shouted.

The rest all jumped just as a rocket hit the LTV, making it a worthless bit of metal.

Holly peeked out of the tunnel exit, “Quick, in here!” she said.

They ran to the exit and reached in just as another plasma rocket blew a chunk of the wall next to the exit.

“AHHH!” Aleksa cried, a piece of shrapnel had hit her.

“Quick,” Artemis shouted, “Heal her!”

Holly knelt down and blue sparks erupted from her fingers, “She will be Ok, but she wont wake up after a while. We can’t leave her here alone or take her with us, any volunteers?”

Visalka stood up, “I’ll stay here and protect her.”

Artemis looked at Butler, “You can stay too, I will be alright, I got Adal and Holly protecting me.”

Butler look unconvinced, “Are you sure? I still need to protect the principle.”

Artemis sighed, “Yes, now, where is my pistol from Serbia?”

Butler tossed Artemis his CZ05 pistol, “You adjusted to this war quick.”

Adal, who had been watching the battlefield jumped back down into the exit, “We need to go now, or never. So it’s me, Holly and the boy?”

Holly replied, “Yes, and he has a name, Artemis.”

They jumped over into the open and ran across to the Liquid Waste Storage plant across the empty space, using old cars and debris for cover.

Opal’s HQ was in the old administration building, on the other side of the plant.

So they ran there, dodging crossfire from both sides. When they came to the Diesel Generator building, they met up with some soldiers from the Special Forces,

“If you guys go across, you will face heavy resistance, but try go through the purification plant, there will be less resistance.”

They ran up to the purification plant and when they looked back they saw an Israeli Special Forces soldier choke slamming a gnome into the ground with some Delta Force covering his back.

They went down south-east until they reached the entrance to the Administration Building, but when they used the REG to gain access to the inside, the inside building was swarming with guards, so there was no chance they could gain entrance to the back rooms. They needed a distraction.

“D’arvit! What now, we’ve come this far!” Holly said, frustrated.

Adal looked at his Neutrino 360’s and took a hand grenade in each hand, “You need a distraction?”

He said smiling.

“But you are outnumbered, you will be killed!” Artemis protested.

“You think that’s new? I’m doing this for the People.”

“Adal, don’t do it!”

“Shut up and run after I made them look my way” He said.

Adal tossed two grenades, the guards all staring and panicking, not looking at Artemis and Holly sneaking through.

Adal took out his Neutrino 360’s.

“The Elfin Grim Reaper has arrived,” he said as the grenades exploded, “And your time is up!” The guards instantly shot him, he got hit twice. He cocked his head right to left, “Is that all you got?” He said despite the pain, “I got more.” He took out an extra two hand grenades and threw them and jumped over the administration counter while opening fire with his Neutrino’s, he dropped at least 12 guards until he fell, silent.

In the back rooms, Holly had already made sure two guards will wake up next morning with a sharp pain in their heads. They spotted Opal through the keyhole of the next door, she was shouting orders of course. They now needed a plan, Artemis thought of doing it again, it worked once, it should work again.

He opened the door and walked into the room ,with ten laser sights playing across his chest, he raised his hands, “Relax, Im not going to harm anyone, I’ve come to give myself over, I have had enough of this war.”

Opal looked extremely surprised.

“How did you get in here? And do you think I will believe you, Artemis? Isn’t that a girl’s name?”

“We are both criminals and misunderstood, I’m sure we can find a way in this war.”

“As If I will believe you, guards, seize him and prepare my shuttle.”

“Wait Opal, If you take me hostage and negotiate with them , you might have a chance.”

“Like I said, I don’t believe you. Someone handcuff him already.”

“Take me then, you can use me.”

Opal thought about it, if she took him hostage, she could actually still have a chance of winning, but there had to be a trap, oh well, she was desperate.

“Okay then, guards, handcuff him and take him outside. We’re gonna do some negotiations.”

Opal had took Artemis to the door facing the rest of the warzone, and one of the guards used his PA, “LEP, we have Artemis Fowl as our hostage, do not attempt to kill us, or he dies and you have no access to our files.”

Suddenly, the fight that had been raging came to an abrupt halt. It seemed everyone was awestruck.

Meanwhile on the clock above the gates, Holly was speaking to some snipers on the roofs of some buildings.

“Okay, when Artemis gives the signal, you take out the two guards, it is ESSENTIAL that Opal does NOT get hit, get ready, it’s almost time.”
Opal was still busy talking to the LEP, “I want safe passage out of here and that Carrier, or there is no more Artemis.”

Artemis looked at Opal, “About what you said earlier, about my name, Artemis can be used for both boys and girls, it means the hunter.”

He looked her straight in the eye.

“I am Artemis the hunter, I hunted you.” He said and disappeared.

Three shots came from a rooftop and the two guards, and Opal’s gun, dropped to the floor.

“NOOO!” She shouted.

The LEP was quick move in and try take her in custody, but they did not expect that Opal’s sprite assistant was still hiding…with the detonator.

Artemis was first to realize.

“RUN! Everyone RUN!” He shouted,

“There’s a bomb!” The rest of the LEP and Opal’s army quickly ran away from the whole reactor complex, Artemis and Holly quickly ran into the administration office and got Opal’s PDA.

They reached the outer walls when the blast came; it came from the dam, like a miniature nuke, it blew up the entire complex, sending Artemis and Holly flying into the grass.


With Opal behind bars (for real this time), the People and the humans signed a peace treaty, so both can live in peace, on the planet’s surface, but somehow, the united two returned to Artemis.

“You had chosen wisely, saving all around you and winning the war, now, we offer you with a choice again, either you carry on in this world or events continued as they would but Opal did not succeed.”

Artemis thought over this question hard.

“I choose the second option, so things carry on as they would.”

“So be it.”

A year later Artemis was busy with a new occupation, finding the occurrence places of demons, and got involved in a plot with a girl called Minerva…

The end is here, sorry.

Thanks to Meova, mememe and Sofi Chan for encouraging me to write more and the FG community for liking the story, and also Google Earth. It helped with the Chernobyl thing.

Comments on This Post

29 responses to “What if Opal’s Second plan worked? Award Winner! 1st.” Join in!

  1. wow!….. i like it! U need to continue, its very interesting!

  2. I like the storyline! Please continue, it’s very interesting!:)

  3. Stef loves Arty February 10th, 2008 at 8:15 pm 3

    It good.

  4. I like it! A lot! Even I have to admit that you’ve done a 5 star story! 🙂

  5. cool! please continue soon!

  6. This is really good. I’m really surprised! Please continue; I look forward to future updates. I rate 5.

  7. Wait a minute … is that the end?!

  8. No its not the end 🙂 . Thanks for all the comments and ratings!

  9. OMG I love how it was written! It jumped around a lot but I loved it!!!!!

  10. THat was really good! I like it a lot!

  11. Congratulations, you won the Elseworlds Contest! If you haven’t already, you should talk to darvit about getting your prize.

  12. Congratulations!

  13. Thanks!

  14. You know, it would be a lot easier to read if only you’d seperated the chapters

  15. HOLLY SHORT 101 March 25th, 2008 at 2:39 am 15

    it was awesome

  16. ArTeMiS FoWl FaN April 4th, 2008 at 10:55 pm 16

    wow i really like how it is set. ok now i got a plan what if goivanni zito’s plan to launch a center of the earth probe…..idk worked!! dont copy my idea lol im doing the first comment dance for mahi 101 af fan

  17. It sounds good! Maybe I should read it… *Starts to read* Cool! *Finishes* Wooooooowwww………..

  18. Uh oh… my story that I just published called World on falls collision course is somewhat like this!! Srry!!!
    But this story is way better than mine!!!
    Awesome Job!
    This is TroubleKelp signin’ out!!!

  19. Caongrats and nice job!!!! I love all the little details and obvious effort that you put into it!!!!!

  20. If you’re still out there Phoenix, can I use the concept drawing you have for the Collsus? or whatever it’s called. I’ve got a new name, new weapons, but that concept art is perfect for how I see my machine. Thanks I’ll even mention you found/made it and it was originaly your idea.

  21. Hurkk, that was a bit long, but it was worth it, just plain awesomeness, seriously JUST PLAIN AWESOMENESS.

  22. RandomReaderGuy May 27th, 2009 at 1:21 pm 22

    I’m sorry to say this but…….this sucked. The idea was good but the storyline…..You turned it into a Sci-Fi Action movie. What I’m saying that you’ve twisted it so much it not Artemis Fowl anymore.And it was long………………………. You shouldn’t have put all those chapters into one page. at least put two chapters in one page next time.
    I rate it 3.5/5

  23. that was the best thing i ever read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  24. Great Story

  25. I really liked it, but it was so long. You should have made chapters. Also, the spelling and grammar made me die over and over. Put it through a spell check. Other wise, great story! You will be spared from my minions purely because your story’s almost perfect.

  26. Easy on the shift button. Too many caps. Spell check and grammsr check on Microsoft Word should fix that. Use the bold button for Location:——- so we don’t take that as part of the actual story. I have no idea what happened and how Arty came back to life, you need to make that clearer.

  27. Fowlfan4ever May 23rd, 2011 at 11:31 pm 27

    O.M.G!!!!!!!! That was A-MAZ-ING!!!!!!!!!!!
    *starts doing crazy dance*

    Confusing yes but sooo interesting!

  29. I would only suggest to add the chapter buttons. This is like a five star story without doubt.

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