Tips for When You Jump into the Deep

Summary: When Saint Bartleby’s sister school burns down just two day before the new school year is suppose to start, Principle Guiney is left with not choice but to host some of the girls at his campus. But could something more sinister be afoot lurking the corridors the from of a beautiful girl, waiting for Artemis to drop his guard?

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5

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By: Forgotten Sunrise

Tips for When You Jump into the Deep

AN: I started this project off to be a series of a hundred or so drabbles about life a Saint Bartley’s , but it looks like this is going to more of a series of vignettes instead…Well, I guess it will just be another adventure eh? This may just end up having a point….

Disclaimer: You all know who and what I own and who and what I wished I owned.

      C’era una volta …


So far away, I don’t want to stay. Get me outta here, now.
I just want to be free, is there a possibility?
Get me out of here right now!
This life like a dream ain’t for me.
-Greenday Homecoming

  Chapter 1: Homecoming part I


 The muted scenery of Wicklow country passed the classic Bentley by. Seamlessly, smoothly.  His eyes were glued to the window, but unfocused, for his picturesque mind lay else where. So much had happened since he had last been on this very road. The road that seemed to lead straight the gates of hell. Saint Bartleby’s school for Young Gentlemen. The words felt so gross in his mouth and thoughts that he felt like he might vomit if he kept using it. Metaphorically speaking of course, because to actually vomit would be absurd, one, and also quite embarrassing. But he longed with his whole mind and body to elsewhere. More specifically, the south of France. Coming back form his three year ‘de Tour’(as he and Minerva have took to calling it), the two became quite close. More than close. The summer of his homecoming had been his best yet; atop of the rolling hills of the French Rivera, in the brilliant Mediterranean sun, he shared his first real kiss with the gifted woman. So powerful , it had been. She had taken him over with so much raw force; he had no choice but to sub-come to her will. Not that his hormones minded in the slightest. It was just the type of interaction his body had been longing for. The feel of her slight curves atop of him… 

But that was weeks ago, a life time almost, as the memory had already seemed distant and faded. Here, in the present, he sat in the back of the Continental Flying Spur, blazing down the long stretch of highway to his own personal hell. Gone for three years and his parents still sent him to that wretched school. Saying some or other about personal insurance that their son wouldn’t disappear on them again. It was all rather ridiculous, but he dared not argue with them and their wants at this point in time. Not after what he had just put them through. He sighed deeply inwardly. He would just have to deal with it, again.
Butler tried to talk to him. He chuckled inwardly; the poor girl couldn’t go a day without speaking, even if her blue diamond depended on it. He was nice enough to give her automated answers though. At least he hadn’t completely disregarded her presences. Butler…it was so odd to refer to the once glittery eyed, wrestle mania crazed Juliet as ‘Butler’. Madam Ko advised against their pairing, but Artemis would have it no other way. He refused to spend time retraining another on all his secrets. Juliet would do him just fine.

It wasn’t long before the jail block structure of the school loomed over head and Butler pulled over just beyond the gates.

“Alrighty then,” She peeped, as she unbuckled her seat belt and turned to look at her back seat passenger. Her long blonde hair pulled into a tight bun at the nape of her neck with a single braid trailing down her back. A jade ring was, of courser, expertly tied to the end. She was, after all, the Jade Princess. “Do you have your schedule?”
Artemis raised a pale brow.
“Yes, however that question is hardly relevant, seeing that you, as well, have a copy, and I know for a fact that we both have the blasted thing memorized.” English Ligature, Organic Chemistry, Three-dimensional Physics, Lit Philosophy and Badminton. His classes were jokes! And it had been an up hill battle to get the pathetic load of ‘Highly achieving academic courses’ he had! Anyone competent enough to read could easily pass them with high marks. He didn’t know what was going to be worst- the idiotic teachers or his rash peers. One the bright side, the headmaster had allowed Butler to stay on campus. So that was a plus…
“Yahuh, well did you remember to bring your packed lunch? What about Teddy? You know he gets lonely Arty…” Butler said in a mock motherly voice.
Artemis just sighed quiet audibly and started at her. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to ask her to stay…
“Oi, c’mon Artemis, loosen up a bit, this is you’re last year- you’ll never have to put up with another homecoming to this place ever again.” She said as she went to open the truck of the car to pull out the luggage.  He gave her one more glare before he picked up one of the many bags that the car held. After all, his mother had taught him better than to let a woman do all the work for him. Juliet gave him a quizzical stare.
“You do know that you don’t have to help me unload. Moving your things is part of the job description…”
Artemis just shrugged his shoulders and continued to pick up the pink Coach tote that was Butler’s.
“This way is more practical. The better we optimize our time, the sooner I can get away from these idiotic, so called ‘scholars’.”
As they made there way to his dorm, some of the schools ASB member took to hang up a sign ‘Happy Homecoming! Welcome Back Home!’ Ha! Home, Hell on earth.
AN: So I’ve decide as to how I’m going to go about things with this story, and I hope you all end up enjoying it! Sorry I didn’t get a beta to read this first, but I’m just so eager to get out as much as I can before the new book is released! (Less than 24 hours zomg!) So excited!!! Reviews of your thoughts, likes and dislike are much appreciated. =]

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5

Comments on This Post

13 responses to “Tips for When You Jump into the Deep.” Join in!

  1. There are alot of spelling mistakes, but it’s still able to read. Light humour not bad at all …

  2. That was nice, quite humorous and ironic, I liked it very much, if you don’t mind please review my story Artemis Fowl and the Mallan Rebellion, Thanks!

  3. Great story! and just to let you know, I’m updating Fairy: 2435.

  4. Lol, Home, hell on earth!

  5. TroubleKelp704 August 31st, 2008 at 7:17 pm 6

    I like it!Please write more!Please please write more!

  6. Woah, grrr i have idea, unless it Opal Koboi who died her hair blue, other than that GREAT STRY PLEASE CONTINUE!

  7. umm i like how u made artemis sound smart lol
    other pplz just cant do it…jk!

  8. lol ur gewd
    keep foloin those dreams if they r ur dreams lol

  9. thats britva’s daughter!!!! and she knows all about w8 britva was from the eternity code…right? ok yea and oh w8 no umm ohhh this iz gonna b a gewd book!!!!!
    i think yea britva’s daughter and she was sent over there by her father to try and take down artemis!!!!!f he is from the eternity code oh crap i 4 got i cant balieve it..well yea he still wants the cube that artemis about that? and then this whole scinario goes on and its holly’s last..w8 a minute in the Arctic holly was in her early 20s…
    anyway and holly does her final and yet most thrilling adventure in helping artemis fowl to..ahhh never mind i donno mayb sommething like that -.- im never gonna b able to write my own book

  10. im more impatient than i thot. thot sounds like tot.

  11. Wow good job. I’ve always wanted to do something like this, but I can’t because I don’t have an account. So until then, I run around the forums, looking for good stories. I’m happy to say I found another one.

  12. Britiva’s from the Artic Incedent.
    One of the Mafeya.

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