She Sells Seashells by the Seashore

Summary: Random, random idea. Hey, why not? So, the prompt is as follows: She sells seashells by the seashore. She went bankrupt. Now she is looking for a job in a city. Short, yeah, but I'm making the most of it... and there's AF, of course.

Chapters: 1 2 3

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Reading Mode

Yeah, yeah, a ton of you probably want to kill me right about now. Sorry for mah long disappearance. By long, I mean extremely long. By extremely long, I mean evaporated-from-the-face-of-the-earth/where-the-heck-have-you-been,-WE?! long. And by that, I mean… roughly a week. XD. Anyway, to make up for it, I shall update this fic (and some others, if I feel like it). Enjoy… or I’ll be sad, quite sad. Do you want that? (readers: YES!) Sniff… makes me feel real nice, guys…

“Hey, Reese –”

Before he could say anything else, an automated voice answered him. “Fowl Industries; are you here to apply for the cleaning job?”


“Retrieving Master Fowl,” the overtly cheerful, happy-peppy voice told him. “Please stand by.”

Jacques frowned and made to hang up, but a voice stopped him. “Yes?”

“Oh, ah, I’m sorry, sir, I was trying to reach someone else…”

“Wait! Do you have a job?”

“Ah, no.”

“Can you… can you clean?”

“Er, yes, I suppose.”

“Are you willing to do physical labor for a living?”

Was this man offering him a job? “Uh, sure, I’ll do it.”

“Are you good at following instructions?”


“Okay,” the man muttered, letting out a light sigh that sounded much too dainty for a man. “Okay. Report to 1 Fowl Plaza as soon as you can.”

“Uh… OK.” His words were followed by a click, leaving Jacques to stare at the pay phone in astonishment. What had just happened?


“Cucumber sandwiches, Artemis?”

Artemis absently nicked a sandwich from the tray, taking a neat bite out of a corner. “I feel like a secretary,” he complained. “I’m not meant to spend my whole day slaving away at the phone. And they’re all idiots.”

Butler gave a light chuckle. “Just because they’re not as smart as you, doesn’t mean they’re an idiot.”

The boy sniffed, then groaned as a nearby phone rang. “Yes?”

“Hey, I’d like to apply for the job,” a girl said casually. Artemis almost hung up when he heard her drawling, teenager tone of voice.

“Can you clean?”

“Uh… not really, but I can learn. What’s the worst that can happen?”

“Your nails might get chipped,” he replied sarcastically.

“What, seriously?” Artemis could hear the uncertainty in her voice now. She swallowed, then said, “Er, no thanks.”

Artemis rolled his eyes at Butler, setting the phone back in its cradle. He hadn’t the chance to open his mouth and speak to his bodyguard before the phone rang again. He groaned quietly, then picked up. “Yes?”

“Oh, ah, I’m sorry, sir, I was trying to reach someone else…”

“Wait! Do you have a job?”Β He hated how desperate his voice sounded. I need to hire someone, he reasoned.

“Ah, no.”

“Can you… canΒ you clean?”

“Er, yes, I suppose.”

“Are you willing to do physical labor for a living?”

“Uh, sure, I’ll do it.”

“Are you good at following instructions?”


“Okay,” Artemis sighed, knowing that this was the best he was probably going to get. The poor boy would probably was out soon and fast, but he needed some sort of employee. “Okay. Report to 1 Fowl Plaza as soon as you can.”

“Uh… okay.”

He hung up, suddenly exhausted. What had he just done?

Alright, it’s a filler. But it helped the fic get somewhere, eh? Please, please review. Reviews happify me. Reviews revive my soul. Reviews make me continue, and you all want that, right? No? No? Curse you…


Chapters: 1 2 3

Comments on This Post

22 responses to “She Sells Seashells by the Seashore.” Join in!

  1. Here’s your motovation! I can’t wait for an update! C’mon! Pwease?
    FOR ME?
    So go! Start writing NAO. NAO I SAY!!! πŸ˜€

  2. Extremly creative. Never seen anything quite like this. If you want me to be overly critical, the seperated areas with just the quotes was awkward. bt other than that, prettr good. UPDAT!!!

  3. Aaaggghhhhhh!!!he nazi grammer nazi is here nice though

  4. Ooohhh… I is hooked!
    Maybe I’m being overly critical, but isn’t Jaques a boy? It just is a bit awkward for a boy to be the main character in a story titled SHE Sells Seashells By The Seashore. I didn’t notice any errors, probably due to your nazi grammar skills…


  5. Hiholly: Wow, fast review. I’ll get to updating when I can, don’t you worry.

    Falcon: Yeah, probably, because I can’t pull off choppy, but thanks for saying that anyway.

    Alpha: Yup, it’s me. XD I’ll take it that you liked it, though.

    LEPreconGirl: I meant for it to be that way. Didn’t go exactly with the original tongue twister. Not sure if anyone noticed this, but Jacques’ initials are JOB. XD. On the newspaper version, his friend is named Miguel Ploid. M. Ploid. Say it aloud. Employed? No? Me and my cheesy puns…

    Will be updated sometime…

  6. Hey, WE. This is pretty cool! Like Fal said, real creative. I can sorta begin to fathom what might happen, and that just keeps me interested enough to ask for an update. πŸ™‚

    Not really enough plot info though, to ask for any comments on that. Your grammar/spelling was good, though.

    Yeah, I get the school thing really. Thankfully a big important all-day test is coming up in my school, so less homework for now! Good luck, and update soon! πŸ˜€

  7. Great story, WE. πŸ˜€ You used some pretty epic descriptive words, and I really like how you wedged Arty in there. x) The use of OC’s was nice, because I really like them. XD I can’t wait to learn more about their characters. πŸ˜‰


  8. A 5. Update. Shrek. Bellybutton. Nukes(I only say the words Shrek and Nuke on VERY good fics.)

  9. Duck With No Name April 9th, 2011 at 6:43 pm 9

    Oh Frond, WE! This is brilliant! πŸ˜€ You’re definitely one of the most creative writers on here, I’d say. πŸ˜‰ I absolutely loved reading the description in the first chapter-it was unbelievably good! And I like the way that you’ve set out the story too. I can’t wait to see where this goes- please update as soon as you can! πŸ˜€

  10. Funny. No mistakes as far as I can see (no less than I expected from you), and a good beginning.

  11. I seriously was not expecting for everyone to like this so much!

    Ann: Thankfully? I’d freak out for an all-day test! Sounds like a huge pain. Thanks for your comment, though, I know the outcome’s a bit predictable…

    CC: Wow, you’re barely on these days. I feel kinda honored, you know? You used to be a huge visitor, but now you’ve faded off a bit… sigh… thanks, though!

    Orion: What is a nuke, anyway? XD. Working on updating (kinda sorta. It’s not really at the top of my list right now), so don’t you worry.

    Duck: Alright, I’ll get to that. Thanks for the feedback!

    ILoveFowl: Gracias, mon ami (Spanch! Wait, that looks like spinach… o.O)!

    Again, thanks for all the awesome reviews and rates.

  12. A Nuke is a Nuclear bomb. Ya know like in WW2.

  13. Oh My Frond!!! I LUV THIS!!! its sooooooooo good!! no, not good…, super-duper extra awesomely coolio creatively sweet! i luv this so much!

  14. hiholly123 May 7th, 2011 at 2:44 pm 14

    Please update, WE!!! πŸ˜€

  15. Okay…I changed my thing to Nickname, but im ArtyRocks sooo, ok, whatever, i wanted to say, UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE! *yells UPDATE like the Hefty comertial* I need this to survive! You dont want that do you? *everyone nods head like its the best idea in the universe* Really? *everyone yells “YES! PLZ!”* Well you guys r just mean…

    lol, WE! i kinda copied that from u… was it good 4 a first timer? lol



  16. *sniffles* WE’s dead. *sniffles* I want an update! *cries* No updates = no Fowlie! Nuuuu!

    I would like to point out that your writing and articulation is getting better and better. I can’t wait for when you finally decide to update! This seems to be an interesting fic.

  17. Orion: ‘Kay then, so long as you don’t use one on me!

    ArtyRocks: Wow, enthusiastic.

    Hiholly: I know, you all really want to kill me, but I god-honestly forgot my plot to this, if it ever had one.

    Cimerene: … Oh-kay… XD

    FS: I am most certainly not dead! *sniffles haughtily* I am just… on hiatus! OK, I most certainly am not on hiatus, either, seeing as I’ve ground out yet another long term fic and I’m adding drabbles to OUD. My, when’d this turn around? I thought I was the one obsessing over you! Really, though, I’ll try if I can. -__- Geez, you’re all going to murder me!

  18. Ahhhh! Reawlly? Good. Because things would get to boring here without you. Your obsession over me is nothing compared to /my/ obsession over you honey.

    And yes, I am going to murder you if you don’t start updating. XD

  19. XD lol. Sorry ’bout that. I was extra crazy that day, and I saw a Hefty commercial and I just totally freaked out over this story. Anyway, I love this story! It’s great, keep writing!


  20. Bobo Paradizo October 8th, 2011 at 1:38 am 20

    See? I told you I was going to review. Anyways, this was brilliant. I especially loved the second chapter, and all the excuses about not hiring Jacques. It’s funny, interesting and random. Now, all you have to do is update…*hinthint*

  21. Fantastic. As usual, no con crit available. Your story broke my con crit scanner, it was so perfect. Wait, actually, I do have one coming…

    Oh yes, you need to update more.

    Wait, my scanner is seriously stuffed if it thinks that counts as con crit.


  22. Yo, WE! Ya gotta update, dude! I am dying. No one ever updates or writes much stuff nowadays. Ive got nuthin’ to entertain myself with. Except a screen. Heh. :3 Pleeeeease update. For pieh? *offers chocolate pie*

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