She Sells Seashells by the Seashore

Summary: Random, random idea. Hey, why not? So, the prompt is as follows: She sells seashells by the seashore. She went bankrupt. Now she is looking for a job in a city. Short, yeah, but I'm making the most of it... and there's AF, of course.

Chapters: 1 2 3

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The city was big and bustling, just as any respectable city should be. People rushed left and right, heads bowed and hoods thrown haphazardly over themselves against the wind. Chatter flitted about the hurried atmosphere, words sharp in the unrelenting wind.

“And then he said that she said that his brother’s wife’s cousin’s aunt said that…”

“When I looked up, there was this huge duck –”

“Could you believe it? The nerve to say that –”

“The fifth project I’ve worked on all –”

“So anyway, Pedro, I — wait, WHERE’S PEDRO?!”

“But you have to go! I already promised him that –”

“You wouldn’t dare –”

“It was ah-may-zing, don’t know why you didn’t just ditch your chores and come along too –”

Despite all the distractions, Jacques kept a low profile, never looking too much, never being seen. He felt as if everyone was more important and experienced than him, that he didn’t stand a chance. And guess what? He was probably right, too.


“So this would be your first job, Mr.” — the portly man glanced at his poorly written resume — “Bradinsky?”

“That’s right, sir,” he said humbly, adding the last word as an afterthought.

“Hmm…” the man murmured, leafing through the pages. Jacques had decided to try to apply for a simple job at a local McDonald’s in the assembly line. He hadn’t thought this merited for a proper interview, but had come anyway. “What were you doing before this? Got any education under your belt?”

“Well, I was born to a poor couple. The woman at the orphanage said they couldn’t really afford me, so I lived there until I was ten. I have a fourth grade education, though.”

He frowned. “Hmm… you left the contact section blank.”

“Yes, I don’t have a phone,” Jacques said sheepishly. 

“You can drop by on Monday, then. I’ll see you there.”

“Er… OK.” He stood up and walked to the door, muttering, “Bye, sir,” on his way out.


“What about your grades?”

Jacques felt himself heating up, but he tried not to show his panic as he quelled the redness. He had been hoping that no one would ask that. “Straight B student, ma’am.” Her eyebrows were scrunching up together; he knew he’d blown it now.

“And the smell of sulfur nauseates you…” she murmured, extracting a pen and scribbling something over his form. He could easily picture her drawing a big X over his name — his qualities certainly wouldn’t help him in the gasoline station. What had he been hoping for, anyway? “Well, if you would return on Thursday, I’ll let you know how you did.”

Jacques nodded and left, almost forgetting his resume in his wake.


  “Where’s that maid, Butler? She hasn’t taken out the garbage.”

“My apologies, Artemis, she was dismissed. An infiltrator,” Butler explained levelly, as if this were common kerfuffle. His master sighed in response, shaking his head and navigating to a fresh tab.

“I suppose we’ll have to go about looking for a new employee,” he muttered under his breath, scrolling through a list of applicants. There were plenty of hopeful faces, as per usual. No one with any real experience in cleaning whatsoever, just a torrent of nosy college undergraduates who wanted to either weaken the Fowls through espionage or through demanding multiple pay raises. Artemis needed someone who would bend easily, ask for little, and work efficiently. An excellent combination, but like all excellent things, a rare one as well.


“We’re sorry, you didn’t get the position. I wish you luck on your next tries, though. You were very close to our final choice –” 


“We believe that you are talented, young man, but your skills are best suited –“


“I’m sure that with your abilities, you’ll find work somewhere else. Your future… it just isn’t here, but you should be able to –“


“There’s no one out there, Butler! No one here can hold a spray bottle the right way up!”


“The position was taken by someone else, my apologies –“


“All of the spots have been filled –“


“I asked him if he knew the proper way to sanitize a jacuzzi, and he asked what ‘sanitize’ meant. Once I explained it to him, he asked me what bleach was! Absolutely impossible –“


“You didn’t get the position you applied for, but I think you would have potential as a –“


“Couldn’t even tell a mop from a broom, or a disinfectant from a democrat for that matter –“


“It’s not right for you –“


“You didn’t quite fit our requirements –“


“Our policy states that our employees must have a proper living address –“


“You’re too young for this sort of –“


“Had short term memory loss; how would she be able to remember the Manor’s layout, or her orders, for that matter? I ask you –“


He sat, back hunched, by the gutter in an alleyway. Should he visit Reese again, perhaps allow himself to be taken in? Jacques instantly scolded himself for his thoughts. Of course not. His interviewers had been right; those jobs had not suited him. There was hope in other places, and he’d find it, light it, use it to get an occupation.

What job was right for him then? What skills had he obtained and nursed through selling decrepit little shells by the shore? His previous “work” only lined up with an archaeologist’s, which certainly wouldn’t work, seeing as they worked with much higher quality things and wouldn’t take him in. The worst part was that he wasn’t sure exactly what he planned on doing; all he knew was that he needed work, and needed it now. 

Biting his lip, Jacques stood up and walked briskly to a pay phone. He pulled out several coins from his pocket, slightly warm from his body heat, and inserted it in the slot before carefully dialing Reese’s cell phone number.

Chapters: 1 2 3

Comments on This Post

22 responses to “She Sells Seashells by the Seashore.” Join in!

  1. Here’s your motovation! I can’t wait for an update! C’mon! Pwease?
    FOR ME?
    So go! Start writing NAO. NAO I SAY!!! 😀

  2. Extremly creative. Never seen anything quite like this. If you want me to be overly critical, the seperated areas with just the quotes was awkward. bt other than that, prettr good. UPDAT!!!

  3. Aaaggghhhhhh!!!he nazi grammer nazi is here nice though

  4. Ooohhh… I is hooked!
    Maybe I’m being overly critical, but isn’t Jaques a boy? It just is a bit awkward for a boy to be the main character in a story titled SHE Sells Seashells By The Seashore. I didn’t notice any errors, probably due to your nazi grammar skills…


  5. Hiholly: Wow, fast review. I’ll get to updating when I can, don’t you worry.

    Falcon: Yeah, probably, because I can’t pull off choppy, but thanks for saying that anyway.

    Alpha: Yup, it’s me. XD I’ll take it that you liked it, though.

    LEPreconGirl: I meant for it to be that way. Didn’t go exactly with the original tongue twister. Not sure if anyone noticed this, but Jacques’ initials are JOB. XD. On the newspaper version, his friend is named Miguel Ploid. M. Ploid. Say it aloud. Employed? No? Me and my cheesy puns…

    Will be updated sometime…

  6. Hey, WE. This is pretty cool! Like Fal said, real creative. I can sorta begin to fathom what might happen, and that just keeps me interested enough to ask for an update. 🙂

    Not really enough plot info though, to ask for any comments on that. Your grammar/spelling was good, though.

    Yeah, I get the school thing really. Thankfully a big important all-day test is coming up in my school, so less homework for now! Good luck, and update soon! 😀

  7. Great story, WE. 😀 You used some pretty epic descriptive words, and I really like how you wedged Arty in there. x) The use of OC’s was nice, because I really like them. XD I can’t wait to learn more about their characters. 😉


  8. A 5. Update. Shrek. Bellybutton. Nukes(I only say the words Shrek and Nuke on VERY good fics.)

  9. Duck With No Name April 9th, 2011 at 6:43 pm 9

    Oh Frond, WE! This is brilliant! 😀 You’re definitely one of the most creative writers on here, I’d say. 😉 I absolutely loved reading the description in the first chapter-it was unbelievably good! And I like the way that you’ve set out the story too. I can’t wait to see where this goes- please update as soon as you can! 😀

  10. Funny. No mistakes as far as I can see (no less than I expected from you), and a good beginning.

  11. I seriously was not expecting for everyone to like this so much!

    Ann: Thankfully? I’d freak out for an all-day test! Sounds like a huge pain. Thanks for your comment, though, I know the outcome’s a bit predictable…

    CC: Wow, you’re barely on these days. I feel kinda honored, you know? You used to be a huge visitor, but now you’ve faded off a bit… sigh… thanks, though!

    Orion: What is a nuke, anyway? XD. Working on updating (kinda sorta. It’s not really at the top of my list right now), so don’t you worry.

    Duck: Alright, I’ll get to that. Thanks for the feedback!

    ILoveFowl: Gracias, mon ami (Spanch! Wait, that looks like spinach… o.O)!

    Again, thanks for all the awesome reviews and rates.

  12. A Nuke is a Nuclear bomb. Ya know like in WW2.

  13. Oh My Frond!!! I LUV THIS!!! its sooooooooo good!! no, not good…, super-duper extra awesomely coolio creatively sweet! i luv this so much!

  14. hiholly123 May 7th, 2011 at 2:44 pm 14

    Please update, WE!!! 😀

  15. Okay…I changed my thing to Nickname, but im ArtyRocks sooo, ok, whatever, i wanted to say, UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE! *yells UPDATE like the Hefty comertial* I need this to survive! You dont want that do you? *everyone nods head like its the best idea in the universe* Really? *everyone yells “YES! PLZ!”* Well you guys r just mean…

    lol, WE! i kinda copied that from u… was it good 4 a first timer? lol



  16. *sniffles* WE’s dead. *sniffles* I want an update! *cries* No updates = no Fowlie! Nuuuu!

    I would like to point out that your writing and articulation is getting better and better. I can’t wait for when you finally decide to update! This seems to be an interesting fic.

  17. Orion: ‘Kay then, so long as you don’t use one on me!

    ArtyRocks: Wow, enthusiastic.

    Hiholly: I know, you all really want to kill me, but I god-honestly forgot my plot to this, if it ever had one.

    Cimerene: … Oh-kay… XD

    FS: I am most certainly not dead! *sniffles haughtily* I am just… on hiatus! OK, I most certainly am not on hiatus, either, seeing as I’ve ground out yet another long term fic and I’m adding drabbles to OUD. My, when’d this turn around? I thought I was the one obsessing over you! Really, though, I’ll try if I can. -__- Geez, you’re all going to murder me!

  18. Ahhhh! Reawlly? Good. Because things would get to boring here without you. Your obsession over me is nothing compared to /my/ obsession over you honey.

    And yes, I am going to murder you if you don’t start updating. XD

  19. XD lol. Sorry ’bout that. I was extra crazy that day, and I saw a Hefty commercial and I just totally freaked out over this story. Anyway, I love this story! It’s great, keep writing!


  20. Bobo Paradizo October 8th, 2011 at 1:38 am 20

    See? I told you I was going to review. Anyways, this was brilliant. I especially loved the second chapter, and all the excuses about not hiring Jacques. It’s funny, interesting and random. Now, all you have to do is update…*hinthint*

  21. Fantastic. As usual, no con crit available. Your story broke my con crit scanner, it was so perfect. Wait, actually, I do have one coming…

    Oh yes, you need to update more.

    Wait, my scanner is seriously stuffed if it thinks that counts as con crit.


  22. Yo, WE! Ya gotta update, dude! I am dying. No one ever updates or writes much stuff nowadays. Ive got nuthin’ to entertain myself with. Except a screen. Heh. :3 Pleeeeease update. For pieh? *offers chocolate pie*

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