Regrettable (Five Times Challenge)

Summary: The five times challenge. 1) Holly Regrets Not Listening To Her Mother 2) Holly Regrets Not Telling Artemis How She Felt 3) Holly Regrets Calling The LEP 4)Holly Regrets Saving Minerva 5) Holly Regrets Going Against Her Instinct And an epilogue, of course.

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6

15 votes, average: 4.60 out of 515 votes, average: 4.60 out of 515 votes, average: 4.60 out of 515 votes, average: 4.60 out of 515 votes, average: 4.60 out of 5 (15 votes, average: 4.60 out of 5)
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  1) Holly Regrets Not Listening To Her Mother

  Holly stood at the edge of a cliff, looking down at the dark abyss below her feet, but most importantly at the woman – her mother – hanging on to the ledge, the tiny, impossible ledge. This was a dream, she knew, her mother had already died, in a submarine, buried under tonnes of suffocating sea, but it did not make her any less scary. Her heart pounded so wildly, she felt quite dizzy, indeed, the ground seemed to spin as she sucked in a desperate breath of air. 

  “Mom! Please, mom, hang on! I’ll call for help! Just hang on tight!” 

  Her mother’s faint voice echoed back to Holly’s ears. “No, baby, it’s all right. Let go, I’ll be joining your father soon. Don’t be sad.” And to Holly it looked like her mother’s grip had slackened once again, and she yelled out, “No, mom, I need you!” 

  In her heart, Holly knew what was about to happen, but she ignored it. As a rookie, she did not have the experience nor the skill needed for this rescue, therefore she had to call for help. Her mother could not hold on much longer, besides, she did not want to hang on, and that was what mattered. 

  A stone fell off the ledge, causing another stone to crumble to useless dust. Holly’s nostrils flared as she sucked in a huge breath, sparing only a little time to whisper, “D’arvit.” 

  Every colour jumped out at her eyes with surprising clarity, the clear blue of the mountain, saying to her, you couldn’t save her then, and you can’t save her now. “Yes, I can.” Holly replied to her fears, determined to prove them wrong. 

  There was still time, even if it was short. Still enough to save her mother. Holly ran to the edge and stumbled, making several sharp, flinty stones to fall and strike her mother slim, pale hand, holding onto the ledge for her daughter. Holly hurt for her mother. 

  She knew that ever since her brother had been sent to jail – that was her fault, too – life had been meaningless for her mother, but Holly was selfish. She wanted her mother to live, to face the sadness everyday, for her, for her daughter, Holly. She wanted her mother to love her, but Holly’s mother had always loved her brother first. Now that Holly had her mother all to herself, she was not about to lose her again. 

  Her wonderful mother. 

  “Mom? You wait here, I’ll call for help, okay? Don’t let go!” 

  Her mother just shook her head slightly, but Holly had looked away. She was afraid, afraid of what would happen to her if her mother, her protector was not there. She knew long ago what would happen, but she chose not to listen to her common sense, blinded by love for her dear, dear mother. 

  “Darling, stay here. I want you to be with me when I pass over.” 

  “No! I’ll save you! You can’t go!” Holly shrieked, torn. She could either obey her mother and stay, or call for help. The obedient, little girl part of her yearned to stay with her mother, the seductive snake softly enticing her with its poisonous, falsely sweet whispers. Stay with your mother, it is what she wants

  No! You can’t be so helpless! You lost her once, you can’t lose her again! Her stronger side screamed at her, urging her to hurry, hurry. And hurry she did, but it was all too late. Running, tripping her way to their picnic basket, fumbling for the communicator, pressing the button. 

  It took too long to connect, despite Holly praying to any and every god she knew, asking them to save her mother. She garbled out the half strangled words, but deep, deep in her heart, she knew, knew that it was useless. But she hoped, nonetheless. 

  Holly dashed back to the edge of the tall, tall cliff, the Abyss of Hopelessness, and bent down, willing her mother to be there, but – she was not. Too late, everything was in vain. No mother hanging on for her daughter. 

  She didn’t even get to see Holly one last time. Her last sight of Holly had been her running away from her. Holly had made the wrong choice. Even if it was a dream, it had felt like losing her beloved mother again. 

  Holly bent down and cried, cried so hard. 

  She opened her puffy eyes presently, and found that all was dark. It suited her mood, and for a while she just lay there and sniffed a bit, thinking of her mother, and how she had hugged her. 

  “I miss you, mom.” It was so soft, so sad, that hearing it made Holly want to cry again, even though it was only her own voice. As she was about to close her eyes and go back to sleep, the moon came out. A sliver shaft of light fell onto the bedside table, and lit up the present Artemis had given her for her birthday. A silver necklace, with a heart shaped crystal on it. 

  It made Holly think, my mother should have been here. But the light was soothing, peaceful, and she felt sleepy once more. Her last thought was, I love you, mom. And as she thought so, she felt a kindred presence watching her, and knew that it was her mother, and that her mother was happy. 

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6

Comments on This Post

30 responses to “Regrettable (Five Times Challenge).” Join in!

  1. Cool story! I think you have a great chance of winning! Cant say it was cheerful though… poor Holly.. I agree, you should NOT have saved her, although I doubt Artemis would ever forgive her if she didnt.

  2. How can you say you don’t stand a chance of winning?! You definitely do. I think that this was so touching. I’m telling the truth, Helen. It’s really, really good. Five stars!

  3. Oh my god I am NOT lying when I say this has to be the best story I’ve read on this site!! I absolutely loved it!!! It was so touching and powerful, while Also very capturing to the reader. it gave a realistic view and story of holly’s childhood and family relationship we never really saw in colfers books. I loved the way you displayed Artemis! The reactions and behavior you described was right on the dot, exactly what he would do!!!

    Very great job! If you don’t win I will….I will…right a very strongly worded letter to the editors!!!!! Oh yah I went there! Really though I loved it, keep it up!!

    And please don’t come after me with thumb screws. =]

  4. I am definitely backing Ambi up! Even if they run after him/her with thumbscrews! This is FANTASTIC!

  5. Wow. I never realised! Oh, and the thumbscrews aren’t on use, cause, well, I’m using them for something else right now (not telling you).

    Thanx everyone! I really didn’t hink it was that nice, but if you guys say so then it must be.

    Instead of thumbscrews, I’m going to send everyont who reviewed a basket of whatever they want! Virtual stuff, of course.

    Whoever voted me five, your thousand dollars are coming right up!

  6. I did! So you’ll have to forgive me, okay?

    I sooo love this one!!!

  7. I voted five! I voted five! And Helen, if I don’t get my 1000 dollars….well let’s just say you’ll be going where Artymon is. MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!

  8. Hmm, I dont like the sound of that, if I were you I would give her the money. Anywho, a basket of whatever??? could I have a basket of jelly beans? I rated it five!

  9. I dont care about the basket,(well maybe a little)5 stars!! So incredibly good, you definately have a chance to win.

  10. What the…? Jelly beans?

  11. YES JELLY BEANS! I AM CRAVING JELLY BEANS! *starts foaming at the mouth*

    If you won the contest I wouldnt be surpirsed. I wouldnt want to be the judges, its going to be a close call.

  12. oooooookay, then. Freak out much. Look on your night stand.

  13. Ooh, freaky. I was just eating jelly beans. *Gulp* I don’t wanna give ’em away!!! *Starts crying* Oh, and Vera? Your money is on its way, and… I thought artymon was fine? Okay, now I understand what you mean. He’s in the asylum, right?

  14. Why does Holly have to suffer so much!? This is a really good story, but Artemis can’t end up with Minerva! He just can’t! I’m about to cry! Seriously! Okay sorry…I wouldn’t be that surprised if you win, but then again, all the entries are really good.

  15. Actually, my spies tell me that he is currently msking deals with the devil. Something to do with jellybeans…..I’d watch out if I were you. And Helen, if I don’t get my money….I don’t just have spies, if you see what I mean.

  16. *gulp*

    Someone help me?

    *faints, then jumps up immediately and starts planning how to get rid of Vera Venus*

  17. Though I have been accused of insanity, I sometimes have some pretty good pearls of wisdom. What are they for this one?
    Holly, love should never be a secret; if you keep something as complicated as love inside you, it’ll make you sick.
    —Dr. Otto Octavious (sue me if I spelled it wrong)

  18. I loved this!!! You will win, 100% certain!!! At least for me. And I’ll help you out by doing what is it that you do? yeah, thumbscrews.

  19. I liked it. It was rly good. And you should know by now that thumbscrews don’t work on me. Anyway, I need to call my assassins.

  20. Yes, yes. Don’t think I can’t handle your petty assassins. *Waves hand dismissively*

    Hey, do you think I should add in a bit where Holly is old and, well, generally a sad ending. Tell me?

  21. Tsk, tsk…
    A sad ending? No “silver lining” for Holly?
    I will be calling you “Lemony Snicket” in addition to “Helly” “Helen” “Subject 459” and “WATCH OUT THAT CHICKS GOT THUMBSCREWS!”
    Sure, give her thou unhappy ending.
    I say: Minerva attempts to kill Artemis to gain thee Fowl Fortune, Holly saves his sorry hide, realizes Minny was trying to use him and this is already too complex.

  22. Wow, this is such a great story! i hate minerva, but for this it really worked! You should have a shot at winning.
    Oh, and whilst i quite like artymon’s idea, won’t that ruin the ‘5 times’ part of the challenge?
    *shrugs*
    loved it though!

  23. Who said anything about assassins attacking you? I’m sorry, but assassins are for when I’m lazy. And I have more tricks up my sleeves. I’m not one-sided you know. I learnt more than how to throw shurikens. I would tell you to ask my other targets what tricks they are, but sadly, they’re all dead. (May they rest in peace.) LOL. Awesome story. Five stars!

    (\___/)
    (=’.’=)
    (*)_(*) Cute, innit? I found it on the net.

  24. Oh, eff! First things first. I can’t add an epilogue cause I’m too late cause MMK didn’t email me in time.

    Secondly, I accidentally rated myself.

    How’s that for a bad day???

  25. YAY!!! MMK told me (maybe) it wasn’t too late, so I added the epilogue. Hope it wasn’t too gloomy for all you insane people.

  26. I say,Helen, m’dear, I believe you have cured my insanity with your woeful Epilogue. There were little errors, nice plot.
    I can safely assume the “number one” was Opal Koboi?
    I take it, that Artemis and Minerva had long since died if Holly were age 738, as she were but in her mid 80s.
    That, is what true love is: undying lust for those you may never have.
    Bravo!

  27. Did anyone else besides Artymon read the epilogue at all? *Slumps* Awww…

  28. I didn't do it August 7th, 2009 at 3:58 pm 28

    What`s this! NO UPDATE! UPDATE OR DIE!!!!!!!!!

  29. It’s actually completed.

  30. *sobs* poor holly *starts shooting, stabbing, and drowning minerva* all better now!

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