An Artemis Fowl Christmas

Summary: Artemis Fowl is back to no good again, plotting yet another crimminal sceme, but one might affect Christmas forever. What is his motive? Holly Short is sent investigate, but she didn't realize she was walking straight into a trap.

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

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Jaki stirred from his unconsciousness. He had underestimated mud technology since the last few millennia. Woo, those tiny darts pack quite a punch. He got to his feet and brushed dust off his suit before taking a look at his surroundings.
Hmm… motion cameras, electro bars, wireless mikes… mud technology had definitely evolved since the last time he’d checked thoroughly. Jaki chuckled. The last time he actually made note of their equipment, the mud men were still relying on rifles with lead ammunition.
A cold, clammy hand reached and gripped his shoulder. He whipped around, expecting his captor, a warden, or even a LEPretrieval team who’d caught on. What caught his eye wasn’t quite what he had in mind.
A battered, sleepy, and female elf loomed from the shadows. “So you are that fairy that Artemis was looking for… perhaps I should introduce myself…” Holly started off awkwardly before she was cut off.
“Yes, I know. You are Major Holly Short of LEPrecon, incredibly rash now and then, and is always in the center of all the Artemis Fowl situations” Jaki paused after realizing that Holly did not react well to the “rash” comment and she started to fume.
“You think I’m rash? Who’s the one flying on an old toboggan all over the world in risk of the mud people catching sight of you?” Holly shrieked rather testily.
“For your information, missy, there is a fine line between myth and reality” Jaki snapped in a very un-jolly way. “That was another one of the millions of fabrications created by the mud men. I thought you would sympathize, seeing that humans regard the Recon members as little men in green hats and buckled shoes with pots of gold for claiming”
Holly might have been impulsive at times, but she realized wisely that now was not the time to argue and bit her tongue. She closed her eyes in anticipation of the question that was coming.
“You’ve been here longer than I have, so surely you have more information regarding this mess. Tell me more about this Fowl character and what you know of his plans, if you please” Jaki inquired before he had noticed Holly had burst into tears. Jaki had tried to make amends for his mistake, but Holly brushed away his hand.
“It’s alright, but I am just startled that it came down to this. I mean, after all we’ve been through!” Holly proceeded to tell Klauss about all their past happenings, and surprisingly, Jaki did not seem aghast or even upset.
“I see…is this the normal boy you usually see of him?” he inquired.
“N-no… well, yes he is a criminal, but he had had a change of attitude for a few years now, and if it weren’t for the reality of this situation, I’d just say this is just an extremely long nightmare…” Jaki smiled.
“If you truly have faith in his newfound heart, you should sit tight and believe that he is doing this to us for a good intention. Taking in account on what you said in his psychological level and the fact that he is not so open on his emotions, I’d say he’s probably struggling to maintain his sentiment on what your friend is doing. Keep the faith, Short”
Holly smiled and silently agreed. “Thanks. I guess the mud men and the People don’t call you Father Christmas for nothing.”
Mulch Diggums was alive and well in Los Angeles, California. It had plenty of casinos were unsecured and had a fortune for the taking. What he spent the most of his day on however, was on eBay. It was one of those ingenious things that the mud men had come up with over the years. Mulch was a true blue shopaholic, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t like selling off stuff he didn’t need, like the LEP equiptment
Trouble Kelp arrived at Fowl Manor in thirty five minutes, thanks to Foaly’s “superior” wing design. Fairies, which were not quite used to such light exposure like the ones provided by the blinking décor, were blinded for several minutes despite the new helmets’ anti-flash night vision. After screaming at a few majors and sending back a few others to Tara, Retrieval One made it to the entryway of the castle. Little did they know of the several LEP anti-shield filters that were planted on the property. There was no way of knowing after all, officers weren’t going to carry them around and Foaly wasn’t the type to accidentally send his precious equipment onto the surface. They say that you can’t trip over the same rock twice, and even through their seemingly disadvantage, Trouble wasn’t going to make the same mistake in assuming they were protected by shields. He would try an alternative method.
Butler was just dropping by to Juliet’s rhododendron garden he’d grown since the Fowl manor siege when the alarm Artemis had built into his phone had went off. Shielded intruders were invading the grounds! Butler grinned mischievously (which was quite unlike him). This was going to be fun…
Trouble Kelp was not surprised when he found Butler to appear at the door. So much that he had commanded the team to unshield after Butler came. Shielding earlier was to prevent other mud men from spotting them. Further shielding would be a waste of magic. Artemis Fowl had undoubtedly placed shield-penetrating scopes and was one step ahead of them.
A few of the majors were looking astounded at the fact that they were told to unshield so early, and even more surprised as Commander Trouble, the most gung-ho LEP officer in history, allowed the next few events to take place.
Butler had already cocked his sig sauer before Trouble held up a raised hand. “I want to talk to Fowl” Butler was astonished. Holding a conference during a battle? The LEP has certainly changed tactics since the last time they went up against them. Butler considered it for three long minutes. There was no harm, and no doubt Artemis would want to hear this. Butler pulled up a miniature laptop watch and set it to video conference. Artemis’s face appeared on the screen, with his face inert but his temples pulsed with anger.
“I assume you wish to discuss the fact that Foaly had tried to invade into my privacy?” Artemis stated with a scowl and a cold composure. Trouble nodded bluntly.
“First of all, I have major Short at my fingertips, so the LEP might want to be careful in what you all are doing, and secondly-” The mention of Holly’s fate snapped Trouble out of his momentary trance.
“Fowl, if you’ve harmed one hair off Holly’s head-” Trouble growled before Artemis cut him off.
“Or what? Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten. Let’s be realistic here. Holly is at my fingertips, and it is not wise to antagonize the hostage-taker, if you have read your psych texts. I may be unstable.”
“There is no may about it…” Trouble had forgotten the original plan and drew his Neutrino. He snapped back, knowing brute force wasn’t going to win this battle.
“Look, Fowl.” Trouble pleaded. “I know how you feel, but sacrificing fairy security for the sake of-” Trouble was interrupted.
“-Livian’s is not the way to go?” Artemis retorted in anger. Trouble gulped. So this is what Juliet meant when she felt that Fowl could read minds.
“You think that after all she’s been through, she doesn’t deserve a little cheer in her life? Human cancer is much worse than the fairy kind, elf. Don’t compare it with radiation” Trouble fumed. Fowl had no right to call him by species now that he’d officially betrayed the people. Then it came to him. How could Fowl have known about Ellie? Seeing the commander’s shocked expression, Artemis added: “Foaly should be more focused on deflecting my computer probes instead of brain probes. I read the Kelp file like an open book” Trouble had lost all restraint now, and charged. It turned out he made the mistake he vowed not to make.
It was almost comical (not for the retrieval, though). Butler easily made mincemeat out of LEPretrieval One. Two were down before they even knew they were under attack. Another was holding his Neutrino the wrong way and stunned himself. Yet another Retrieval member’s wings had malfunctioned (much to Foaly’s eternal shame) and he went flying into Juliet’s rhododendrons. Butler groaned. Growing those took forever.
The retrieval team was dispatched in less than fifteen minutes. What did they expect from the only human to tussle and triumph over a troll? Butler turned around back to Fowl Manor, unaware that he had made the biggest mistake in bodyguard business. He didn’t count the number of bodies scattered on the ground, not to mention he also broke the rule of leaving his principal unguarded. Trouble Kelp waited until the mud man had left, and hurled himself through a window on the second floor of Fowl manor…
The commander was wearing a new suit Foaly had patented. It was camouflage, and ion beams could penetrate it, making him nearly invisible to the electronic eye. Betcha Fowl didn’t see that coming.
He had stalled enough time for this moment…it was time to voice his demands. His fingers trembled at the thought, but Artemis shook the feeling off, and proceeded to the cells.
Artemis had arrived at the door, oblivious to the fact that a suited individual was approaching him, silently and slowly. Artemis keyed in the keycode (0109), uttered “Artemis the hunter” at the mike, and waited for the door to slide open, along with the mystery stalker behind him.
“Greetings, fairies… I trust you are enjoying your stay?”
“Yeah, we’re having the time of our lives here, and Holly’s going to teach me the cancan” remarked Jaki sarcastically. Holly looked potentially murderous despite the earlier conversation. Artemis had caught the look. It amused him. “Getting ideas are we, Major Short?” Artemis flashed his vampire smile as Holly gasped. Artemis sensed something wrong. He whirred around and met the barrel of a Neutrino at his forehead, aimed by someone with an incredibly battered LEP suit…
Trouble Kelp was still meandering around Fowl manor. D’Arvit. How many doors and corridors were there? He pressed on, unknowing where to look or even if it was all a bluff. He got an idea, and headed for the underground of Fowl manor.
Back in the prison, the shadowy figure grunted “It’s about time for some payback, Fowl”, as the room’s occupants all stared blankly at his face.


Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Comments on This Post

63 responses to “An Artemis Fowl Christmas.” Join in!

  1. I’m already on the third chapter, so if I can get at least 20 requests to post the second chapter, I will do so. The second is mainly about when the LEP (and Fowl) takes action. 😀

  2. i really liked it! post the next chapter!

  3. Interesting. It seems to me that Artemis is a bit OOC for a post TLC story- he’s grown more moral since the demon incident. And the plot seems rather… unlikely, to say the least.

    That aside, it looks like it’ll be good and when/if ever you post the rest I’ll be sure to read.

  4. What’s OCC? And also, to say the truth, exploiting Klauss wasn’t his true objective. That’s a secret. There is no way Artemis would devote his time in Santa Claus. San’s decendents had certain powere, and I forgot to mention that. He is “probably” going to try to exploit them. There is more deeper meaning than just extended knowledge of the fairy race.

  5. Oh, and he’s supposed to be more morale after the Opal Deception.

  6. […] An Artemis Fowl ChristmasBy Star JininHe removed the book cover of a Webster dictionary and pulled out a picture of Holly, fresh and content from her daily Recon duties. He sighed. Sorry, Holly. I know you would never approve of my planned actions, but… Artemis Fowl shook …Artemis Fowl FanFiction – […]

  7. OOC stands for out of character: meaning that Artemis seemed to be acting unlike himself. But given what you’ve said above, I suppose I’ll have to take back what I said and reserve judgement until I read more (which, by the way, is why I haven’t rated- I like to rate after reading a few chapters and getting a feel for the story).

  8. I like it! very creative and to say the least a very good story taking in consideration that this is your first! 😀

  9. I suppose, seeing from the lack of comments, I should wait longer, but judging from the ratings, I will load up the second chapter. It’s filled with more action. Expect it after I finish my homework 😉

  10. It is not lack of comments because I think ppl in America r sleeping.

    Try going there to figure out how to add new chapters.
    What I do is just post my next chapter in the same box, then I go an place my cursor in between the two chapters and hit the chapter button.
    Hope that helps!
    Oh, and I added on your other chapter for you.

  12. OHH I’m hooked I have a guess as to whats going on so please add chapter 3 so I can see if I’m right. I love the way you have expanded on the use of Artemis’ magic that he stole in The lost Colony, great idea.

  13. yes die sool

  14. Thanks, BlackOpal! Sorry guys, chapter 3 is taking me a little too long, but it introduces more charachters and lays on the foundation for the approaching climax. It will probably be the best one so far

  15. Oh, I really like this story now! It has a good plot, and you’re a talented writer. I’ll be watching for updates. 🙂

  16. i am sorry I didn’t comment earlier but I read this as soon as I got on and LOVED IT!!!!! I can’t WAIT for more! 😀

  17. Sorry, there was a repitition of the second chapter. It’s fixed now. Also, for you Mulch lovers out there, don’t worry. He’s going to be in it, just later.

  18. mahi101 AF Fan December 13th, 2007 at 4:11 am 18

    loved it!

  19. I have noticed lately that the ratings have dropped. I am not concerned for the popularity of this fanfic,but concerned on why. So far, mahi101 AF Fan remains the only one to even comment on this fanfic. If anyone could spare a few seconds to give feedback, it would be greatly appreciated.

  20. Star, You need to relax. lots of people are reading your story. sometimes though it just isn’t really necessary to comment if things haven’t changed. you story has gone through a few changes. People have commented. also this is your first story. First stories don’t always get a lot of comments. idk y that happens but it does. It happened to V,Kgerrad,me, HS9, and SOOO many other ppl I can’t think of right now. also it IS pretty much Christmas time so I am guessing ppl r either spending time with family or working on their own stories.

  21. Jelly’s right. There’s lots of new stories, and not lots of time for most people to read them. Not to mention that there aren’t THAT many people who visit the archive in the first place, though it is growing. Be patient. I know it’s nice to get instant feedback when you update, but it rarely happens.

    I just read chapters 3 and 4. They’re good, but not as… polished, I think is the word, as the first two. I think you may be rushing to update, and it shows. There’s nothing specific I can point out, but sometimes the phrasing or dialogue is rather awkward.

  22. mahi101 AF Fan December 16th, 2007 at 9:03 pm 22

    hmm.. Well , Ya know wut happens somtimes is that you have a great idea and when you ut it diown od papaer youn dont get everythingin so its not as good , so always take your time , but ofcourse , I liked the update!

  23. Ohh… yeah…sometimes, I get embarrassed and awkward at what I wrote and refuse to even look at it. Thanks guys! I guess I was getting a little worried about the deadline. I’ll polish it up after everything’s in place, and remember, I am still needing comment contributations (yeah, I’m really insecure)

  24. Okay, and I have a faint idea what’s so awkward, but could everyone voice it so I can be sure? Please just tell me what places need a remake. 🙂 The changes may or may not be made until I am finished and have time.

  25. Okely Dokely

  26. Please someone point out the awkward parts? I can’t see them myself, and as they say, the spectator sees the chess board better than the players. I’m blind as a bat when it comes to my own mistakes

  27. idk wut they r tking bout. i don’t c ne mistakes.

  28. […] Check it out! While looking through the blogosphere we stumbled on an interesting post today.Here’s a quick excerptHumans thought fairies didn’t exist either, and look at all the gold that turned out just from one measly trip to Ho Chi Minh and a night of plotting. It’s worth a shot.” Artemis proceeded wearing out his fingers on the gel keyboard. … […]

  29. Ummm… I don’t get what you’re saying Jelly.ARGGHHH!! NOOOO!!! THERE’S ONLY ONE DAY LEFT!?!? ARGHHH!!! *slaps keyboard*

  30. Congratulations! I just heard about you winning the story! 🙂

  31. 1crazyhollyfan January 2nd, 2008 at 3:46 am 31

    That is so wonderful! You really deserved the Christmas story prize. Definately a five out of five!

  32. I loved how you quated from the first book. The conversation held between foaly and Atemis while broadcasting on revolving freqencies was exactly the same as the one you put in this story. If any of you care to checks this it can be found in chpt.9 ace in the hole Pg.241. And Know i’m not looking at the book or anything that has it recorded.I’m a freak i know but i find certain things worth retaining. I swear on Commander Roots Grave. By the way congrats on winning.

  33. sorry i spelled quoated wrong spelling is not one of the things i find worth retaining.

  34. ok so my retentchen was a little off but most of it is what was said in that conversation i mentchend earleir but yah really good fic

  35. Great, post the next chapter!
    Also, Artemis doesn’t use PCs, he uses powerbooks, macbooks, and imacs (apple computers). Great job!

  36. I liked your story, but I have a question. After Butler defeats LEPRetrieval one, how does Trouble flt through the window? Butler knocked him out didn’t he?

  37. Yeah well, Trouble’s tough and Holly must have been some added motivation. I will post the whole thing now (I am so insecure about plagerism)

    P.S. I love Trouble!!! 😀

  38. I couldn’t even tell this is your first story. I loved it!

  39. I said I didn’t see any mistakes in your writing. no awkward parts or anything! I read this story before and enjoyed it very much! I think about 3/5 would be just! because that is like a really high percentage, because I guess there were some quirky parts but overall as a story it was pretty good! 😀 I hope you right more!

  40. Nope. AAFC is finished. I’m currently working on Blood lily, though. If you’d like to read it.

  41. Man, this stori’s awsum!!! I still don’t kno why Atry went bad again though

    I mean it’s cool and stuff, but I don’t kno why Artemis is tryin 2 kidnap San D. Klauss
    Sorry Im talkin 2 much, but one last thing.

    I saw in chapter 5 why Artenis is OOC. ok, that should be it. I’m not tryin 2 critisize u, I just didn’t understand some parts.

  42. Um…Artemis’s motives are clearly stated in the last chapter. And he performed the kidnapping because he needed a big enough time stop that not even the LEP can give him.

    No offense, but wow. You sure are like Foaly. You posted 7 comments in a row!

  43. I have only read two chapters so far but the story is excellent. You have the prose of the original writer of the series and I am going to enjoy the rest of the story.

  44. I finished reading the whole story and I have to say it was well done. The first couple of chapters really set the plot for the last chapter. It appears you knew what the ending was going to be before you started the first chapter. Nice ending.
    I really enjoyed the story. Keep writing.

  45. lol nice story even though i didnt finish, i recommended the book artemis fowl to this guy in my class cuz we’re doing a book report .i just started the series and im almost done! hope you write more stories cause im probably gonna enjoy your story by the sound of these comments.
    -your cousin DT, from Canada
    (figure it out your smart “star jinin”)

  46. YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! DIANNY!!!!!!! *SCREAMS LOUDER*

  47. Hey !
    Cool story. But Artemis seems a bit OOC. He’s kinda too morale in this story. Anyway, I liked it. I really hope you write some more.

  48. HaHaHa I am the randomtropy demon who has come to infect these comments with randomness!…
    Well actually I’m just a bit bored but still! Randomness will overwelm the comments muahahahahaha!
    Banana phone! Ha!
    123456 Pokemon! (Btw search on utube hillarious!)
    Blu Ray!
    Halo 3!
    Black Mesa!
    Imma firin mah lazaaaahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Shoop Da Whoop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    . .
    . . .

    . . .
    You have just been…
    Infect other people!

  49. Love the story 🙂 I gave it five stars

  50. hmmmm, last years is……pretty good!!!

  51. this is really cool!!!!!!You should write more like this!!!if you want to you can read mine!! its on the latest list cause i just updated it and wrote it not to long ago!!!And it’s the only one i wrote(except 4 the update notice)!!! Your story rocks!!!kudgw!!

  52. the chptr 2 is the best yet!!(im only in chptr4 though) it still rocks!!!

  53. oh……my…….God! That was awesome!I just finished it and you need to make more!!!!!(seriously, if you din’t i will hunt you down and kill you!)Great story!

  54. Billy-Bumbler March 5th, 2009 at 5:17 am 54

    This is one of the best Christmas stories I have read in a long time 5/5!

  55. RandomReaderGuy May 27th, 2009 at 2:33 pm 55

    Wow. That was one good story! At first Arty seems really OOC but the rest of the story went smoothly. Arty’s motive is quite touching.But the Ark Sool thing is so random.And you’re contradicting TLC’s ending having Mulch living in Vegas. He’s continuing the PI firm, remember?
    but other than that the story is AWESOME!

  56. Awww… Arty… that was soooooo sweet of you…..
    I would try to do that if my cousin had cancer or something. I really would at least I would try…. really I would…
    that was kinda sad though. but magnificient 😀

  57. hitsugayatoushiro June 9th, 2009 at 5:11 pm 57

    i kno wat u mean it was gr8

  58. this story is really fantastic!!you’re a very good writer,man! but who is livian?is she a cousin of artemis?

  59. Star Jihn like Jelly said, you don’t usually get feedback as soon as you post, when I do story I have to wait a day, except for my most devoted followers, perfect few mistakes throughout the whole story

  60. It was pretty good. It took me about 40 mins. to read the whole thing, and that’s saying something since I read most books in just over 2 hours. I only found a few mistakes throughout the whole story… HI!

  61. That was awesome Star Jinin! I really enjoyed it! I hope you write more stories!

  62. Okay your story is really good but one thing that really bothered me was that Artemis’ password was his birthday. I think that is really obvious, and a little too obvious for him because everybody uses thier birthday. That is the only con crit I have because it’s the only thing that actually bothered me. Pretty good spelling and punctuation sooo… Sil out.

  63. Totally agree with them, this is awesome.

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