A Love Story, Or Not

Summary: Warings: This story is slash and contains swearing. I had to put this whole thing up again because last time […]

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

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Warings: This story is slash and contains swearing.

I had to put this whole thing up again because last time I tried to update, it mysteriously disappeared :/ Can someone help me with this? For some reason the chapters are not… seperate chapters.

Chapter 1

My mother gave my hand a squeeze and smiled at me.

“Don’t worry,” she told me, “You’ll make plenty of friends, you always do.” I grinned at her, showing that I was ready to take on St Bartlbey’s. I was ready for anything. Before long I would have a good group of friends. I was also planning on joining the football team. Who knew, maybe I could even find myself a boyfriend. I quickly checked my reflection to make sure I looked alright. I couldn’t help but admire myself. I had dark brown hair that I carefully styled to look messy, naturally tanned skin, bright grey eyes and a muscular body worthy of drooling over.

An old but well groomed and extremely well dressed man entered the room and took a seat behind the principal’s desk. Obviously this was Mr. Guiney.

“Good morning Mrs Ralph. Good morning Callum. Welcome to St Bartlebys. I’m Mr. Guiney, the principal of this fine institution of education,” he smiled at us as he introduced himself then proceeded to spend the next half an hour talking to us, going over rules and expectations and other such school stuff. He then gave me a map, a timetable and wished us a good day.

Outside of the principals room my mother kissed me on the cheek and gave me a tearful look.

“Have fun,” she said. “If anything happens don’t hesitate to call me.” She gave me a rib cracking hug. “Goodbye hun,” she said, “I’ll pick you up at the end of term.” She then left me, alone, at a new, extremely fancy school. I gave my timetable a quick look. English. I made my way to the designated room.

“Hello,” said the teacher, “you must be Callum Ralph. I’m Mr. Smith” He pointed me to a seat. I sat down and grabbed my book. The next ten minutes were spent going over essays and assignments we’d be doing that term. It was an ordinary lesson. But then someone out of the ordinary, someone extraordinary walked into the room. The teacher gave him a look.

“You’re late,” he said, pointing out the obvious.

“Sorry sir,” said the boy. His voice was sent shivers down my back and made my heart race. I watched him as he walked to his seat. His curly black hair and dark blue eyes contrasted beautifully with his pale skin. His seat was right in front of me so I got a great view of his small ass as he sat. I sat there for a moment trying to imagine what his slender, delicate body looked like under his school uniform. I yearned to kiss his soft pink lips and hold him in my arms. Then I began to ask myself some questions. What was his name? Was he gay? If so, would he be interested in me? Did he already have a boyfriend or girlfriend?

I waited till class finished then followed him out of the room. He had a very brisk pace and next to him I felt big and clumsy. I gave myself a quick pep talk.

“Hey,” I said, “I’m Callum Ralph. What’s your name?”

He gave me a quick look. “I’m Artemis Fowl the Second,” he said. His voice was short and sharp and let me know that he had no wish to talk to me.

“So,” I said, desperately trying to think of something to say. “What class do you have next?”

“Advanced mathematics,” he answered. I didn’t have that subject. My strengths were out on the football field, not in the classroom and especially not a math classroom. I watched as he walked away vowing to try again the next time I saw him. Artemis Fowl. Smart, sexy and rich. I’d hit the jackpot, if only I could make him mine.

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Comments on This Post

80 responses to “A Love Story, Or Not.” Join in!

  1. I like it.

  2. yes! love it! My mom says i’m young for Sexy BUT WHO CARES? IT ROCKS!

  3. thats so weird. i swear i commented

  4. MuriUmbrielCordeliaN August 25th, 2009 at 12:52 am 4

    It’s the Phantom Comment Snatcher.He/she
    is an evil he/she, who, as the name implies,
    steals people’s comments for fun.

  5. The Phantom Comment Snatcher August 25th, 2009 at 2:00 am 5

    You’ll neva take me alive crazy peoples!!!!!!!

  6. MuriUmbrielCordeliaN August 25th, 2009 at 2:57 am 6

    *PCS runs,like the scaredy-cat he is*
    ~Draws Brisingr,runs after PCS, screaming
    profanities not suitable for children’s ears~

  7. The Phantom Comment Snatcher August 25th, 2009 at 3:00 am 7

    Sup. BTW, I’m gonna go by PCS now. I’m tried of writing it the long way. See ya laterz.

  8. MuriUmbrielCordeliaN August 25th, 2009 at 3:04 am 8


  9. Hey people, this is Mur(mm-yer)and I FINALLY
    found out how to work the comment-without-
    telling-people-who-you-are device.
    ButlerXArtemis-Is Arty going to be gay in this or not?
    PCS-You will die.
    General Population-I’m getting bored now, if
    anyone needs me I’ll be….wherever the PCS
    is at the moment.
    *Draws Brisingr, runs off to wherever the PCS

  10. ButlerXArtemis August 26th, 2009 at 3:06 am 10

    Artemis is gay in this, but I’m not sure whether or not he’s going to start dating Callum. Artemis is always gay in my stories. At least this means that there’s no chance that Minerva girl can have him.

  11. MuriUmbrielCordeliaN August 27th, 2009 at 12:40 am 11

    Always?You were the one who wrote ‘What
    now?’, right?Hmm..well, I can’t say I would
    have Arty gay in any of my stories, but, hey,
    it could happen, and who am I to critisize
    BTW, does anyone want to join forces with me and murder the PCS?

  12. Dude, it ain’t worth your time. I can be on the other side of the world in 1 hour, with a fake passport, under one of my many aliases.

  13. ButlerXArtemis August 28th, 2009 at 2:28 am 13

    I’ll join you! I don’t have Brisngr (unhappy) but I have a chainsaw! πŸ˜€

  14. Awesome!!Now all we have to do is find the
    (profanity)and murder him.Shall we?*Draws
    Brisingr, runs off to find the PCS*

  15. Wow. Detailed, and very interesting. Good job! Oh, and I know who the Phantom Comment Snatcher is….*mysterious smile*

  16. I dout that, Vera, I dout that.

  17. MuriUmbrielCordeliaN August 28th, 2009 at 10:09 pm 17

    IS IT YOU?????????TELL ME!!!*Draws Brisingr
    and taps against leg threateningly*

  18. Naw, she’s just bluffin’ ta make her self all mysterious. The mods might know.

  19. MuriUmbrielCordeliaN August 28th, 2009 at 11:13 pm 19

    Are you a she or a he, because I’m gettin
    kinda tired of typing he/she every time
    I mention you.
    To tell you the truth I’m also gettin kinda
    tired of using near-perfect grammar, spelling,punctuation, and all the rest, so I’m just gonna cool it w/ that 4 a bit
    Okay, bit’s over.

  20. ButlerXArtemis August 31st, 2009 at 1:53 am 20

    PCS, you will die!

    Uh, I have a question, how do you tell people that you’ve updated???

    Also thanks for the comments, even if some of them had nothing to do with the story ^^

  21. partyonsoccerfan August 31st, 2009 at 2:12 am 21

    I like it. . . please update.

  22. You could just write an announcement saying:
    “Hey, dudes, I’ve updated!”That’s what I would do.(But remember to delete any other announcements you already have before writing a new one; we’re only allowed to have one at once.)Happy updating!:)

  23. The Weird Shipper September 1st, 2009 at 3:57 am 23

    *mild squeeing* Oh, I love it. There may have been grammar/spelling things, but I was too busy get to the end. Either way, it was very good. And you have an interesting OC.

    Hey, you wanna hear something funny? I was all “How does he see Artemis’s ass . . .? OH!” because I ALWAYS picture Artemis in a schoolgirl’s skirt, thanks to ArtySexKitten. Have you read her stuff?

  24. The Weird Shipper September 1st, 2009 at 4:01 am 24


    *clears throat* You rock, I bow to thee, oh great one on slahsiness. This is really good.

    Wanna hear something funny? I kept thinking Artemis was in a skirt, because I’ve read ArtySexKitten’s stuff on ff.net too much. Hey, could /you/ put Artemis in a skirt? *hides from fangirls about to kill me*

  25. Ha! I can see everyones missing comments! Take that PCS!
    Also WeirdShipper: I love ArtysSexKittens stories! -FANGIRLSQUEE-

  26. The Weird Shipper September 2nd, 2009 at 5:05 pm 26

    I lovew ArySexKitten’s OC’s. Zach just makes my day. Janie Lust is also a personal favorite- that girl is /good/.

    My comment was snatched. DIE, YOU THEIVING RASCAL!!! *attempts to keep everything G*

  27. The Weird Shipper September 2nd, 2009 at 5:07 pm 27

    My comments keep getting snatched . . .


    *slashes Tensiaga*

    Oh, and good fic πŸ˜‰

  28. ButlerXArtemis September 3rd, 2009 at 2:50 am 28

    DonÒ€ℒt worry TWS (acronyms are epic), i can see all comments even when theyÒ€ℒre are snatched.

    My favorite OC is Oliver actually, but Zach is pretty awesome. It is my all time dream to have Artemis dress up in one of my fics.

    IÒ€ℒm also a fan of Janie Lust! Her stories are very, uh, detailed thoughÒ€¦

  29. The Weird Shipper September 3rd, 2009 at 2:53 am 29

    I know πŸ˜‰

  30. MuriUmbrielCordeliaN September 5th, 2009 at 3:55 am 30


  31. *giggles* I think I’ll try something like this, maybe. Mind if I borrow the idea? I promise I’ll put it on another site!

  32. partyonsoccerfan October 7th, 2009 at 11:07 pm 33

    Nice update. I really think you’re a good writer. I need an update as soon as you can because….IT”S SO GOOD!

  33. *screams for Artemis: RAPE! RAAAPE!*

    Awesomeness. You’re awesomness. I love this. Update when you can. The plot just . . . well, it just appeared XD

  34. Of course you can use the idea, Baka-Chan.

    Thanks for the comments everyone!

  35. skulllovergothgurl October 11th, 2009 at 9:32 pm 36

    This is great! Please more!

  36. Nancy (no that's not my name) November 1st, 2009 at 1:25 pm 37


  37. That’s how we all feel, Nancy, that’s how we all feel.
    ^ ^

  38. MuriUmbrielCordeliaN November 3rd, 2009 at 11:59 pm 40

    Will I update if I give you a cookie?

  39. We must see what happens! Hurry hurry hurry and update! PLEASE!

  40. MuriUmbrielCordeliaN November 5th, 2009 at 2:15 am 42

    Oh, sorry, change the ‘I’ to ‘you’. Will you update if I give you a cookie?

  41. Hmm, maybe. What kind of cookie?

  42. MuriUmbrielCordeliaN November 7th, 2009 at 3:28 pm 44

    Erm…chocolate chip? *crosses fingers and hopes BXA like that kind*

  43. How about double chocolate fudge???? Penut butter? penut butter choco chip? All are available over here.

  44. Oh my God, chocolate chop! WANT!

  45. Partyonsoccerfan, musical extrordanaire! December 13th, 2009 at 5:13 pm 47

    Well, update and I’ll give you some!

  46. OMGZEY!!!! If I make BXA update do i get cookie too? EPIC WAAAAANT!

  47. MuriUmbrielCordeliaN February 10th, 2010 at 11:39 pm 49

    *does the Update dance* Thank you soooo much for updating BXA!!! I love it, and now I MUST know what’s going on with Richard and Artemis!! *does The Face* Update? Pwwweeeaaasee?

  48. Oh . . . my gosh.

    That is . . . insanity. That’s tawesome (awesome times “t”).

    I like how the “plot” is progressing, and this seems less like an Artemis Fowl book, and more like shoujo manga πŸ˜€


  49. Ooh, I must read a shoujo manga now…

    Fortunetely I already now what I’m going to write for the next chapter so it shouldn’t take too long to update this time.

    Thanks so much for the reviews!

    Chocolate chip cookies?

  50. Creepy, in an awesome + epic way.

    You have a gift for this. I really want to see Artemis and Callum together! πŸ™‚


  51. MuriUmbrielCordeliaN March 9th, 2010 at 11:31 pm 53

    *holds out plate of choco chip cookies* BBBXXXXAAAA, I have coookkiiiiieeesss!! Don’t they make you want to update?

  52. -le gasp- Cyber chocolate chip cookies! I want!

  53. MuriUmbrielCordeliaN March 10th, 2010 at 11:53 pm 55

    *hands cookehs* Nao, don’t the cyber-chips maek u want 2 updaet? And screem at me 4 speeking lolkitteh?

  54. *attempts to sneak off with all the cookehs*

    I’m really starting to hate this Richard dude. *feels totally sorry for Callum and thinks I would have done the same thing, if not kick Richard’s greasy mule*

    I really want an update. Pweez? :3


  55. KYAAA, awesomeness. In fist-fight form. Thank you for updating, and for creating such an interesting turn of events Γ’β„’Β₯

    And, yes, I WILL slap you if you don’t update.

  56. Ohansahyosheli June 18th, 2010 at 1:38 am 58

    I’ll slap you with my special baseball bat. UPDATE OR…be slapped? o_O

  57. I feel so powerful. When I tell people to slap me… They slap me!

    With baseball bats! πŸ˜€

  58. *slap slap slap*
    I like it…Absoloutely great..Now update please before I have to go hunt for my non-existent baseball bat

  59. You can all slap me now. I was going to update yesterday but I didn’t.

    My only excuse is that I’m lazy.

  60. MuriUmbrielCordeliaN June 24th, 2010 at 2:53 am 63

    EEEEK, it’s an update!!! *does the Update dance* Great update, BxA!! And that is NOT a lame ending; I liked it! πŸ˜€ Are Callum and Artemis gonna get together now? TELL MEE I MUST KNOW!!! *curls up into a ball on the ground, sobbing*

    -A very update-deprived ghost member, Mureeh, out!i

  61. 0.0

    (speechless for a moment..)


  62. I love it! Methinks more must be written…
    BTW, I actually do know who PCS is!


  63. Nuh-uh you don’t.

  64. YAH-HUH I DO!
    I know where they live too…


  65. You two are the same person who needs to stop spamming πŸ˜‰

  66. BTW, Artificial Asian? The PCS actually isn’t me. I did the previous comments to see if you could tell. Actually, MY comments are being snatched too… *cries hopelessly* My grammar is too awesome for you guys NOT to notice. πŸ™

  67. Sorry about the whole “ME=PCS” thing, but if you read the above… I WAS ONLY PLAYING!! I’M ONLY ELEVEN!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜‰ πŸ™


  69. How do you do the devil ones? 😐

  70. Ooh, I haven’t read this in a while. I still like it just as much as always, though.

    But now Richard bothers me because I know a Richard who looks just like the description, only with short hair… now I’m stuck imagining him wearing a bad wig and being a giant turd. πŸ˜†


  71. do u go 2 st. anne’s? thats my school and miss moss is an actual english teacher there!

  72. @Jinx. No, I don’t. I’m not even sure where that is and I graduated from high school last year.

  73. Ooooooooh. Gay. It’s just funny imagining Artemis like that… Okay, curly black hair? No. No. Nonononononono. Straight. STRAIGHT! I’m gonna go hit something now.


    *Thud* *yelp* OW!

  74. wrr0rzxpurrt April 2nd, 2011 at 3:46 pm 77

    Sick… sicksicksick. Wow, man, I did not want to know about that last part o.O. However, this does have good grammar/spelling/spacing/punc/caps, which is better than I can say for some other fics. I like it, though, school stories are always the best.

  75. Shattered Sparks September 11th, 2011 at 2:02 am 78

    Wow. Just wow. I’m frankly, amazed.
    This was so very IC, as far as I could tell (accepting the fact that Artemis is gay), and the plot is actually quite believable. Now, spelling and grammar, I couldn’t find any errors. This is the type of writing I try for, thr kind that just sucks you in amd makes you want MORE.

    I’d love an update, as this new twist has me bouncing on the edge of my seat, waiting.
    And, keeping with tradiation, 78th commant dance!

    Over and out.

  76. 79th comment dance!!!


  77. 80th comment dance! this is sooooo good! I am officially in to slash stuff now that I’ve read your fics. So congrats on your new gf! hope your happy. UPDATE! 5/roses.

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