Silence is Golden(but Duct Tape is Silver)

Summary: Drabbles! And lots of 'um! :P What we have so far: 'Silence is Golden, but duct tape is silver.' 'You'd be suprised at how much you can learn about someone from a good ol' game of Cliff Shag Marry.' 'Would you like a side of epic with that fail?' 'A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing!' 'Always forgive your enemies. After all, nothing annoys them more.' 'That's parodoxcial, you know that correct?'

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6

  • Story Complete? Not yet.
  • Author:
  • Category: Funny
  • Word Count: 2305
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You’d be surprised how much you can learn about someone from a good ol’ game of Cliff Shag Marry.

“No. I refuse to play.”

“Come on, Arty. It’ll be fun.”

“Yeah. What harm could it do?”

“I won’t hack you for a month if you play, Mud Boy.”

“Fine!” Artemis said, nearly yelling. “Just tell me the rules.”

Juliet snickered. “It’s simple really. All you have to do is have one person say the names of three people and then everyone has to decide who they’d throw off a cliff, who they’d shag(one night stand), and who they’d marry. If forced, obviously. The last person to say is the next caller.” She explained.

Artemis sulked, but nodded. Holly already seemed to have decided that she’d be the first caller.

She did her own best impression of Artemis’ trade mark vampire smile(not nearly as good as the real thing, but still) and chuckled. “Alright then. Butler, Opal Koboi, and Trouble Kelp.” The males in the room winced.

Juliet began. “Cliff, Butler. Shag, Opal. Marry, Trouble.” The words were without hesitation, creepily enough.

Foaly was next. “Cliff, Trouble. Shag, Butler. Marry, Opal.” Holly snickered quietly to herself. Shag Butler? Really? This game was already fun!

Artemis growled slightly, then sighed. “Fine. Cliff, Opal. Shag, Trouble. Marry, Butler.” His cheeks turned beet red as the rooms occupants burst out laughing. “What?!” The laughter slowly petered out and Juliet just flicked her hand dismissively. Artemis scowled and thought of the most agonising punishment(via the game)for Holly.

He smiled. Not a I’m-happy-to-see-you-smile either. A I’m-going-to-rip-your-limbs-off-and-enjoy-it smile. “Minerva, Cabaline, Opal. Choose now of never have another private personal call again.”

Holly’s jaw dropped. Choose? From that list? Might as well get it over with. “CliffCabaline,shagOpal,marryMinerva.” She said it so fast the the words sounded more like one, long mass of gibberish then an actual sentence. The meaning came across though.

Juliet snickered inter her hand as she said her own choice. “Cliff, Opal. Shag, Cabaline. Marry, Minerva. You judge you die.” No one laughed. No one even smiled.

“Well then. Cliff, Minerva. Shag, Opal. Marry, Cabaline obviously.” Foaly said coolly, making himself the next caller. “And I choose no one. The game’s over.” A disappointed groan came from Juliet and she stood up and walked off, clearly having wanted to be the next caller.

Foaly got up, stared at Holly and Artemis for a second, and left. You could learn a lot from someone by playing a little game of cliff, shag, marry. “Maybe a little too much.” He muttered.

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6

Comments on This Post

41 responses to “Silence is Golden(but Duct Tape is Silver).” Join in!

  1. partyonsoccerfan November 28th, 2009 at 10:51 pm 1

    Ha ha, nice Ak! Nice!

  2. Domo.

    Chapter two up and waiting for reviews! Suddenly!

  3. That was funny AK. I smiled the whole time.

  4. OMG That’s hillarious! *need to try that game sometime…..I wonder…*

  5. Lines please? I need them!

  6. Hm… I can’t think of anything at the moment. If I think of one, I’ll letcha know.

    Pretty funny, a few spelling mistakes, but I don’t really care about that. Good! 🙂

  7. Chapter 2, so many memories…only in the US we call it Kill, Rape, Marry, or KFM because we naturally have to make everything so much more horrible than it should be haha

  8. Nice again AK.
    Hmmmmm… How about:
    A computer once beat me at chess but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
    Hard work never killed anybody but why take a chance?
    Last one…
    Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, But what happened to you?

  9. “Silence is Golden (but Duct Tape is Silver) and Other Stories By Ally Kat”

    lol that was very funny. I like it a lot. And you say there’s gonna be more? YeY!!

    () ()

  10. partyonsoccerfan November 29th, 2009 at 4:53 pm 11

    Ha ha ha !!!!! Nice added Chapters! Love it AK! And nice use of the Cliff Shag Marry game! 😀

  11. I’ll go fix the spelling and add a new chapter now. 😀

  12. partyonsoccerfan November 29th, 2009 at 9:42 pm 13

    Nice chapter. Totally funny!!!!

  13. Awesome, Ally Kat. I love this kind of thing. 😀

    Hermmm… as for a saying, how about this one:
    “Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more.”

  14. Funny again. I laughed at that one. Tou used my quote!!
    Just turn to me for lots of quotes:
    Later, they would swear she jumped.
    I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly.
    Your so fake you make barbie look real.

  15. IwishIwasafaerie November 30th, 2009 at 2:40 am 16

    lol hilarious. luv da title *stuffs title in quote storage*

  16. Alecto Short: Oscar Wilde, eh?

    Mmm… make a list of things to do everyday, at the top of that list put “Eat Chocolate”, by the end of the day, you’ll at least have one thing done.

  17. *bows to reveiwers* Domo. Domo.

    (English translation) Thank you. Thank you.

    😆 Anyway! Domo arigato everyone! Pumping out that next chapter now! 😛

  18. AWsome…

  19. That’s really good. Great job!!

  20. Nice new chapter again. Sorry we’re fresh out of quotes. Please come back tomorrow!!

  21. partyonsoccerfan December 3rd, 2009 at 2:30 am 22

    Lol, love the new chapter!

  22. Awesome!!! I wish you would update more though!!! *suddenly feels distinctly hypocritical*

  23. shadowsnake451 December 9th, 2009 at 2:28 pm 24

    ha! love it, ak! lets face it,we’d all love to film arty shagging someone.

  24. I. LOVE. YOU. *Snigger* Arty. Butler. God, TWS would luuurvee that. After all, that IS weird.

    And I bet I’d love the new chapter more… you agree, right? *evil glint in eye*

  25. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
    – Robert Bloch.

    😀 I have no idea how you’ll use that, but I’d love to see what you come up with. Well, other than that, never mind if you don’t wanna use it.

    () ()

  26. You can use it for Beckett and Myles. *shrugs*

  27. Exactly what I was thinking.

  28. Tee hee. Me likey!! =)

  29. Beckett Simple-toon December 16th, 2009 at 11:23 pm 30

    that well deserved it’s place in the funny catergory! i’ve got a line. ‘A friend is just an enimy you haven’t upset yet’

  30. Beckett Simple-toon December 16th, 2009 at 11:32 pm 31

    that’s from ‘the little book of stress.’
    ‘I’m drawing the line and watching it fall’
    from the ‘pesies don’t fit anymore'(song)
    ‘Your damned if you do and damned if you dont’ my fave quote from ‘the simpsons’
    ‘I’m done, shoot your gun’
    ‘call the police’ (song)

  31. WOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!
    luv it!
    ur gr8 @ this XD

  32. Haha I just watched that movie too… this chapter was good, it’s just that it was almost a bit too close to the original to be quite as good as the others… still good, though. It’s just that the rest are better in my opinion.

  33. nah, doesn’t matter. So……


    a funny little incident that only my sis and I and our friend Nick know about. 😉

    () ()
    (0.0) heh heh, “the thing”

  34. Heh heh heh, we just watched ‘A Christmas Story’ last week. Priceless. xDD

  35. lolz would u like a side of epic with that fail? priceless……

  36. Jeez begeez, you haven’t updated since Christmastime!

  37. Yoshi’s right. So. . . UPDATE OR FEAR MY WRATH!!!!!

  38. ha, nice spin on the old saying!

  39. Silversong21 March 28th, 2010 at 8:44 pm 40

    Hmmm… lets see… I have a bunch of funny comments in my brain somewhere….

    “Everyone is smart. Only a few people put that to good use.” ~My real best friend.

    “There are two billion people in the world, yet we have trouble finding friends” Me in kindergarden.

    “Dancing is a skill that few posses. However, with hard work, it may be taught.” My dance teatcher.

    Anyway.. UPDATE!!!! I think 2 and 3 could work for stories about Artemis.

  40. Absent_Minded_Professor January 31st, 2012 at 12:34 am 41

    My sister just got this app that sends her pictures with hilarious lines… here are some…
    1. Come to the dark side. We have cookies. (don’t see how you could use that.)
    2. When nothing goes right… go left.
    3. I’m not deaf. I’m just ignoring you.
    4. It’s a beautiful day. Now watch some idiot screw it up.
    5. Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being me.
    That first one? The duct tape one? That was on there too.

    Try to make your comments pertain to the fic. (And btw, I know ALL of those quotes. Nothing new ^^) ~WE

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