Tall Tales from a Short Guy (Half-updated.)

Summary: When two toddlers ask a dwarf for storytime, they get A LOT more then they bargained for... PLEASE R&R&R!!!!!!!!!!

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

19 votes, average: 5.00 out of 519 votes, average: 5.00 out of 519 votes, average: 5.00 out of 519 votes, average: 5.00 out of 519 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (19 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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The sky was clear, blue as far as the eye could see. The sun was high in the sky. The wind has stopped meandering, as if Mother Nature was scared of the…thing that walked on her soil.

And with good reason, too.


“Oh, that hits the spot.”

“Uncle Mulchy!” A pair of slightly chubby toddlers ran over to the dwarf.

“Hey hey hey! How are my two favourite twins?”

“But…we’re the only twins you know..,” Myles astutely pointed out.

As usual, Mulch relied on his ultra-smooth techniques to gloss over the accusation.

“Yes, well, you’re still my favourite.”

Beckett spat out a wad of grass, since they met the dwarf outside, and asked, “Uncle, are you going to fart out the alphabet again? “‘Cause that was funny!”

The mere though of Mulch’s gastrobatics sent Artemis’ brothers into squeals and convulsions.

Mulch may have blushed, but it was difficult to tell, with his beard and all. Never again would he fart the alphabet. Holly sure knew how to use a buzzer…

A tug on his vest brought him back down to Earth.

“Uncle Mulchy? You smell bad. Again,” Myles pointed out, as soon as he regained his breath from laughing.

Beckett peeled himself off of the lush green grass, and announced, “I smell sunblock! And lots of it, too!”

Mulch laughed, and replied, “How would you know, Mud Toddler?”

“‘Cause I ate some! I’d know the smell of it anywhere, and it’s coming from you, Uncle!” Beckett smiled proudly.

Myles rolled his blue eyes skyward, and continued on, ignoring Mulch’s ever-present stench.

“Uncle? Why are you here today? Is Artemis simple-toon too busy with Holly? Did Uncle Butty kick your bum-bum again?”


Beckett had recovered from his moment of glory, and chimed in. “Then what are you going to do?”

Mulch was at a loss for words, until Myles had a brilliant idea.


Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Comments on This Post

25 responses to “Tall Tales from a Short Guy (Half-updated.).” Join in!

  1. More stories to follow! If anyone has ideas for a dwarf story that relates to Mulch’s past, say it here! But, if I dun use, it’s okay! It probably didn’t fit the story line.

  2. I loved it 5/T(Tacos)! For a story idea you could…. Have Mulch tell them about when he was at school and got picked on by everyone. 😀


  3. This is funny! And it’s not a death fic! Yet. I love Myles and Beckett!
    I think a good dwarf story is when Julius Root and Mulch meet for the first time.

    Five stars 😀


  4. How about some odd story when they were going to rid the world of opal in the AC and Arty was Orion and was…. A love sick cicko. And then have the twins run and ask Artemis about it infront of Holly and Butler and Foaly and video cam. Oh the humanity! 🙂 I love it and PLEASE update soon. In my opinion it was half IC and half OOC. Just what I like.

  5. Can’t wait to see where this goes… Okay, I really want to know what the point is, though, so…
    Update please!

  6. At the MAXIMUM, I will only accept TWO more suggestions. I already have 11 stories. I accepted FG’s and modified Amy’s. (Instead of getting picked at school, it will be first first day at school)

  7. Oh gods. Are you serious??? 5/5 because I had to stop reading half way through and conquer my laughter. 😀 *giggle* Nice job.

  8. Lol to the macs! ROLF!!!

    …Wut…? Make sense next time. ~TM

  9. Omg TM you made him straped to the kite!!! XD Thats just sooo wrong!! 5/T(tacos) I love these write faster. I read this on Friday, but didn’t comment sorry. I had school to go to. Write Faster!!!

  10. Hmm…*puts on straight face, but can’t fight it. Bursts out laughing.* Okay, okay, the dwarf strapped to the kite thing was funny. I NEVER would have thought of that.

    Hmm…I wish I had an idea. It feels like I should, but I can’t think of one. Oh well. Nice.

  11. I love it! 5 stars. I have one question. You put Romance as a genre. So where is the romance?

    Two things. If you SAY 5 stars, actually rate it. Also, romance will come soon. But you won’t be expecting the kind of romance Imma write soon. It’s not the angst type either. ~TM

  12. *Applauds with chin in the air, looking down nose, like an old-fashioned person* Very nice, very nice. I enjoyed this newest part with Spade very much. Creative.

    Okay, so… again, no mistakes, yada yada yada…
    Awesome. Don’t know what else tah say.

  13. Okay so I guess I’m the only one that noticed you spelled a few things wrong but that was in the first three stories! Anyways, I still like it 😀

  14. Me likey! I didn’t see any major mistakes, just really funny recollections from Mulch.

  15. that was…AWESOMEhilariousAMAZINGcoolFUNNYcreativeINGENIOUS.!!!
    sorry about my bad sense of punctuation marks but your story was really cool.!!!

  16. *Tries to hold in giggles but fails epicly*

    I didn’t see any mistakes at all. I need a glass of water….

    Yes, keep up the awesome work. I’m sorry if this is kinda spammy…

  17. Grr I hate this computer. I had a review all typed up. I scroll up and find out that it has disappeared. Anyway it was very funny (I am currently dying of laughter) A couple of small spelling mistakes in the retarded story.(I’m not scrolling up to see the title because this will disappear again.)But nothing major. 5 stars/whatever you want. Now Update!

  18. Mm, nice job TM. Very creative. 😀

    But concrit for the fourth story…

    I actually had to search for a long time to find these.

    1) Eyes close, she continued to hum.

    Eyes closed. With a d.

    2)It smacked the clay, and punch straight through the wall, leaving behind a great, jagged hole.

    Punched straight. With an ed.

    3)wer ewide-eyes. Were wide-eyed.

    4) He said in hushed tones.

    He said in a hushed tone.

    Only minor mistakes in there. :3 Nice job. I’ll review again when you update Ch. 5.

    5/5, obviously.

  19. You know the crit, I told you.

    Otherwise, COMEDIC GOLD. XD Nice job.

    *falls over laughing* City Center… dear god, help me.

    Yeah, I’ll work on choppiness, but the main thing is MORE COMEDIC GOLD!!!!! ~TM

  20. That is funny.

    …but why does it remind me of BONE?

    Merged! Ty, Hearty! ~TM

  21. 😀 Trubbie likes very much. ‘Tis funny.
    Didn’t find any mistakes. ^^

  22. Cute stories TM, their hilarious. Keep going and no mistakes.

  23. What? WHAAAT? will update!! dude im impatient. CONTINUE SOON OR FACE MY WRATH, no hard feelings. the princess of weird enjoyed this big time, and she wants you to update.

  24. Omg. You’re back!! *huggles*
    And, as usual, awesome story. Keep it going!!

  25. Yes!!! More people on this site! Totally awesome, and completely hilarious. Keep it up and update soon.

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