Artemis Fowl and the Council of Liars

Summary: “Why, sometimes I believe in as many as six impossibe things before breakfast.” -Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass   […]

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5

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“Why, sometimes I believe in as many as six impossibe things before breakfast.”

-Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass


It took a moment for Star to regroup after she saved her giant bowl of Lucky Charms  and accidentially knocked down her domino train. That noise… what the heck was that? It rang again, paused, rang again, more furiously this time. Oh. The phone.

She picked it up, and was greeted by a familiar voice on the other end. It spoke first.

“Hey. Uh, do you mind, uh, going down to the airport?”


“Er, yeah–” Here, a different voice shouted in the backround.

“Because we’re gonna BE there in like an HOUR!”

Crazy again. “Wellyeahso…”

Star sighed, slowly, and looked at the clock. “A… an hour? Dude-” She yawned- “-it’s two in the morning.”

“It is? Oh. Yeah, I guess it is. Running on chocolatecovered expressobeans right now. But yeahthanks and bye!” CrazyChick hung up.

Star looked at the clock again, said a word that made her thankfull she was alone, and went out to the shed where the electric scooter was. It then occoured to her that she probably should have asked why on earth they wanted to meet her at the airport at three in the morning. But she pushed the thought aside and tied the wagon to the other wagon to the scooter, said a silent prayer that she would stay awake, and started down the mountain.


The plane touched down at three in the morning exactly. Ckat snagged another bag of expresso beans and draged herself off of the plane and onto the solid earth again. Falcon came next, CC next, and Short, holding ‘The Blip’ by his wrists, trailed behind.

It wasn’t long before Star was pulling into the parking lot. The girls hopped into the wagons, handing the extra bag of chocolate-covered caffeine to the driver, but The Blip reacted otherwise. It was, in fact, the first bit of emotion he had shown.

“How do we plan on going anywhere?” All five girls turned to look at him in the dim lighting of the parking lot.

“What… what do you mean?” yawned Short.

“He means,” snapped Falcon, “That we need to find some better mode of transportation than our… our… scooter thingy.”  The group stared hard at The Blip, summing up the situation.  Three in the morning, driving down the highway in wagons tied to a scooter driven by a very sleepy driver. Hmm.

Star broke the quiet. “Look, it’s three in the morning, and I just drove a scooter up a highway for an hour. Call a cab.”

In spite of it all, they took her suggestion.


Crazychick awoke at precisely 8:52 the next morning, cursing silently to herself. Something important happened yesterday and if it had anything to do with her horrible headache she’d–

The kid. They found a kid.

Questions raced through her mind as she pulled in her favorite tee and grappled for her toothbrush. Who was this guy? Where did he sleep? Was he up by now? Was anybody up by now? Was this toothpaste always vanilla flavored or was that a recent observation?

She half staggered, half walked, and half danced into the living room (because that’s how fractions work when you first awake) sort of expecting to see some urchin wrapped up in one for their spare blankets.

But no. There he was, sitting all pretty and upright on the couch like some sort of– “Woah!” Crazy slapped her hand over her mouth. They say you’re not responsible for your actions until seven seconds after you wake up, and that’s gotta be more the morning after you drive your scooter/wagon abomination to the airport and back… Right? Oh yeah, they took a taxi.

Well, it was too late regardless. He was looking right at her now, expressionless besides the  overlaying tiredness that seemed to have settled upon the house. He was dressed in a fine suit, and an attitude to match. You don’t wear attitudes, chirped a little voice n the back of her mind. Whatever. “May I help you?” His voice was cooler than Crazychick felt, all relaxed and… calm. Dude, we just ‘arrested’ you and took you to some shack in the woods and you’re not freaking out? Crazychick sort of smiled back at him. He’s either a lunatic or insane, she thought to herself, not really paying attention to her word choice.

Well… What is this, half a page? It deserved an update though o3o My writing has changed dramaticly from when I started… I dunno I think this update is kind or ridiculous. And all the people in this left FG XP Any questions?


Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5

Comments on This Post

43 responses to “Artemis Fowl and the Council of Liars.” Join in!

  1. Looks like this will be cool but whats going on with the orginazation? What are thay soposed to be defending aganst?
    Sorry for misspelings.

    *does first coment dance* 🙂

  2. All in good time, my friend. All in good time.;)

  3. Update please. 🙂
    I love the way you don’t reveal the plot right at first. I am hooked.

  4. Cool can I come in? Read your message. Black hair(halfway down back), dark brown eyes, tan, tall, skinny, sarcastic, crazy, bad memory, enjoys cats and cookies. Name- Ckat

  5. This is impressive, Falcon. 😀 Very impressive. 😉 Well written with beautiful grammar. 😀 Thanks for putting me in. 🙂 I really appreciate it. :]


  6. YYYAAAYYY!!!!! I GETS TO THROW WHIPPED-CREAM!!!!! WHOOOOOOOO!!! AND NO, I haven’t had a potato.

  7. This is the next “Valley of Fools” story. Everyone rate this a five and get it to the top rated! Wonderful story, flawless grammar and exceptional spelling. I loved the update, but I need another one. I also love the machine idea, very original and creative. Update now or you may not live to see the next hour Fal. This story is addicting. Wow!

  8. You left me HANGING! 😐 Not cool buddeh. Finish the update now. Or else. And let me quote Hermione on this one:


    And mine. Now hurry! Shizzz, this story is addicting.

  9. Fal, you know my powers and I know where you live… SO UPDATE! And I don’t talk like that!

  10. GEEZ, I did! I will again, as soon as i can… It’s what I do in my spare time.

  11. Wow. UUPPPPPPPPPDDDAAATTTTTTTTEEEEEEEE! Put me in it or I will send all my minions after you!(Not really. I don’t have any minions, unless you count my cat.) Love the story by the way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. My mions are hot pink bunnys. Just kidding, I don’t have any. But i like to use ’em as empty threats.

  13. Love it! Update or I will do… something I don’t know what.
    But still, update!

  14. You better stop being lazy when you come back. I am so not happy with you! How much do I have to beg to get you to update five or six chapters! Huh!!!??? Huh???!!! How many Fal…:(

  15. Fine, I shall. But I’m on a break. When I come back…

  16. FoalyIsAGenues September 6th, 2010 at 3:00 am 16

    put me in
    i am a centaur
    gender :boy
    always on computer
    vary sarcastic
    black hair glasses

  17. Why do you keep saying you’re a bad writer, modesty or so people will excitedly read your stories to see just how “bad” they are. Really, Falcon, I’ve seen tons of suckish-er stories. Stop saying you’re horrible, because you’re NOT. Update before I EXPLODE. If I can be in it, please add me. I have straight black hair halfway down my back, dark brown eyes(you can’t see it unless you’re about 6 inches from my face and stare really hard, otherwise they look black), tan skin, bad memory, dark blue glasses, enjoys cats and cookies, and I hate cheese. And most other dairy products. EXCEPT ICE CREAM. I am also random and 12 years old. Female. Will eat off floor depending on cleanliness of floor and tastiness of food. Will sit/climb just about anything. Stares off into space and has a lot of potentially useless facts.

  18. Yer in. I know, your right, people probably DO read my stories just to see how bad they are. But really, I’m just being modest- i still think they stink, though. I wrote a quiz to identify people with AlantisC, and I failed it XD

    Anyways, no more people for this one. It’s closed.

  19. HAHA! I’M IN IT!!! GRACIAS!!! XIEXIE!!! THANK YOU!! Er… that’s all the ways I know to say thanks… not really a lot. Anyway, it’s a short update, but I understand you just got on, so whatever. Good you can update at all, you know, cuz of school and everything.

  20. update or die( not really you wont die because of me)

  21. I has updated.

  22. Short, but it’s something. A quote? How bout-

    Underrating is overrated.

    Kay, not very good, I just made it up. I don’t really have any good quotes that I say myself…

  23. Oh, I LIKE that. Anyone else? I want a quote by as many of the people I’m using as I can.

  24. XD Why is that when I read the first few paragraphs, I immediately saw a comedy story? Other than that, after the turns it’s taking, maybe it won’t entirely be funny anymore, which kind of dragged me down a bit. T_T
    BESIDES THAT, with this being one of the first stories I’ve read on this site, I have to say it exceeded my expectations in a really good way. Though, to give you any criticisms at the moment… might want to have a look at chapter 2. A few things repeated itself one too many times….

  25. GAH! I have fixed chapter 2 like, ten times! Ah well.

  26. Wow. 🙂 Awesome.

    First of all, dittoing FowlStar, I love it how you didn’t reveal the plot right away and kept me wondering what was going to happen. Also, thanks for putting me in this! I loved the whip cream battle. *broad grin* Epic.


    P.S. Something’s wrong with Chapter 2… 🙁 It keeps repeating itself.

  27. There, I fixed chapter 2. Is it still… Ah. Yes. It is. I give up.

  28. You’ve updated!!!! But it’s short. But you updated! Miehhehehhh!!

  29. UpDaTe!!!!!!!!!!!!

  30. Oooh, one more person rate it 5* and it will be in the TTs!!!! Please? Somebody? Can’t rate it myself…

  31. UPDATE PWEESE!!!!!!!

  32. WOOT YOU UPDATED… and it’s short. Ah well, nice job. I dunno if I mentioned this before, but it’s ninety, despite the pronounciation.

    Yurp… I just really want an update. Sorry for my tineh comment.

  33. Great fic! 5 stars!

  34. Alright… it’s been updated.


  36. oooh cabn I be in it?I want to be called alpha. and I have a quote for ya:
    Im carzy reulary but give me lightning powers and IM cole mcgrath on weed.

  37. …Sorry, i’ts too late to join, although I might use your quotes… 🙁

  38. Falcon? This is fantastic. Update, or the Hounds will get ya. (See Taurus) Sorry, I just felt the need to post an ‘update or fear my wrath’ type message.

    I didn’t see and mistakes, and you’ve got a great fic going. Good job!

  39. I just came back from the dead, and what greets me? Your epic story. Woman, you need to update this if you value our band locker without whipped cream smeared on the walls! Kidding- mostly |D Ahem. So, update? It’s great(as always), except for a few typos. Keep up the work if you enjoy life!~

    Woman, you need

  40. chocolatetruffles1 March 24th, 2012 at 3:56 am 40

    Very funny, and please update soon.

  41. Re-reading these comments…. Gah how I miss everybody *flails everywhere* But like seriously, this used to be a classic… *cries* Fowwie called it the next Valley of Fools story aufuyfjhjvhhvj

  42. A couple times a year I reminisce on this and man, it only now occurred to me how nobody questions that like half of these characters have magic powers. I don’t think I had a plan for that at all.
    RIP FG, RIP my most ambitious writing project, miss ya still lololol

  43. Hey good book teach me how to write my writing teacher hates me

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