The Haven Herald

Artemis Fowl: Why Males Are Better
By: Carino

In today’s world, feminism is a big thing. For more than a century, women have fought for their rights both aboveground and below, with mixed results. Topside, women have earned rights to vote and equal pay in job; underground there have been breakthroughs concerning women in the workforce. Is this the right decision? There are many who object to these things, and for a good reason. Males are the superior gender.
It is not that I believe that women should be forced to stay at home and be the primary caregiver for children. If women have wishes to work and can arrange it with their husbands, they should be allowed to get a job. However, the jobs that can be held by women should be limited. In today’s world, most leaders—of countries, businesses, etc.—are men. This cannot be attributed to simple prejudice and discrimination against women. There are clear reasons that women are less qualified for leadership positions.
Have you ever been present when a woman is trying to make a decision? I’m sure most people have found themselves in this position, or perhaps been the one trying to make the decision. No matter what women are trying to decide, they take much longer doing it than would a man in the same position. When a conclusion is finally reached, the reasons behind it are often not quite logical. A woman’s method of decision-making is not nearly as efficient as is one of men. The decisions that women often see as being crucial are just as often not. Women tend to dwell on their appearance and social status, and become quite irrational when either is threatened. This suggests that women do not understand the bigger picture; choosing what to wear to which party is not as important as they make it out to be.
This leads me to my next point: that of emotions. Women are extremely emotional, much more so than men. Men have emotions, of course, but they have proven themselves to be much more adept at controlling them. Women’s decisions are often tainted by personal feelings on the matter, whereas men are able to step back and look at the problem, then make a completely unbiased decision. Also related is so-called women’s intuition. Intuition, defined as “an immediate apprehension or cognition,” is likely no such thing. Intuition appears to be based upon the five recognized senses—sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch—rather than being a separate, subconscious sense. By exploring the full use of one’s senses, one will discover that intuition is but a myth. Therefore, women’s intuition is no mare than a culmination of personal feelings and biases, and therefore cannot be trusted.
Admittedly, my opening remarks are generalizations and, as such, do not apply to all women. A few examples of men who have proven themselves over women may help the more skeptical readers to accept male supremacy. After all, actual evidence is much more capable of proving points than are general observations of the female characteristic.
Take me, for example. Artemis Fowl II. A certified genius that has not even been affected by the psychological problems that often plague those who have been gifted in way of intelligence. I doubt you need to be reminded of the time I first came into contact with the fairy people. I was twelve years old, and proved myself capable of outmaneuvering a civilization that had been around for much longer than my own. After I succeeded in obtaining the gold that had been my objective, I w s prepared to leave The People alone. However, we found ourselves involved with each other again less than a year later, this time as allies. LEP Captain Holly Short and Commander Julius Root, along with convict Mulch Diggums, became embroiled in a plot of Opal Koboi’s to overthrow the LEP’s regime and take the governing of Haven into her own hands. Though Miss Koboi was a genius, Foaly and I eventually succeeded in outwitting her. Once Haven had been saved, we could return to our original mission—rescuing my father from the Russian Mafiya. As soon as my father had been recovered, I parted ways from the fairies once more. Then came the fourteenth year of my life, the year I planned to release the C Cube. Unfortunately, a certain Jon Spiro set a trap and succeeded in taking my technology in order to claim the work as his own. Mr. Spiro came perhaps the closest of anyone to outsmarting me, and it took all of my talent plus the skills of a few others to defeat him. Though I succeeded in sheltering the Lower Elements from the technology that could endanger them when placed in the wrong hands, the fairy council elected to submit me to a mind wipe. It would be the last time I would have anything to do with the fairies, if all went as planned.
Fortunately for both humans and fairies, I managed to cheat the mind wipe. A year later when Miss Koboi launched a second attack on fairykind, I was needed to help thwart her plan. I succeeded in beating Opal, this time for good. Finally, I was able to assist the fairies in the matter of demons by discovering the decay of the warlocks’ time spell. The situation was complicated when twelve-year-old Minerva Paradizo managed to capture a demon. Though she was a genius, I proved to be smarter than her and was able to rescue her captive. The fairy and human worlds had been once again saved from collision. Holly, demon warlock No1, newly awakened warlock Qwan, and I then traveled to the demon island of Hybras and managed to return it to earth before the time spell failed completely. Such activities are not normal for any person, especially a teenage boy. In fact, I doubt that anyone—even Miss Paradizo—could accomplish what I have done. Though I am only one example of a male who has proven himself to be better, there are many others waiting to be mentioned.
First off is Foaly, the genius behind Haven’s security. Without him, fairies certainly would have been discovered by humans long go. Each time I have been involved with The People, Foaly has been there as well, helping the mission though he is rarely on location. His many inventions have been a great help and he has proven himself innovative and adaptable. Foaly is indispensable, and though Opal Koboi came close to outsmarting him, the blame for that incident cannot be placed on him. Foaly actually aided in her downfall by using the video recording technology on my laptop. Time and again he has saved Haven, and though he is not often credited, his work deserves recognition.
Another good example is my bodyguard, Butler. He is one of the best martial artists in the world. Though he is admittedly not the intellectual that Foaly and I are, he is a man I trust with my life.
It is not the case that there are no women I trust. Indeed, Holly Short has earned both my trust and respect. But even she, a strong woman, has traits that incapacitate her in certain situations. Holly is a very passionate elf, and her emotions often interfere with her ability to make logical decisions. Though I am not suggesting that she suppress her emotions, it would serve her well if she learned to control them a bit more.
Another woman who is also known to fall victim to stray feelings is Juliet Butler. She decided to leave the body guarding business because she claims she has too much heart for it. Her assessment is correct. When taking her final exam to pass Madame Ko’s Personal Protection Academy, she failed because she was unwilling to incapacitate a man who separated her from her principal. Again, I am not an advocate of random acts of violence, but the situation must be taken into consideration. A bodyguard’s duty is to protect the principal, and nothing can be allowed to interfere wit that.
Miss Minerva Paradizo, who I met most recently, seems to be a strong individual. She is a genius and determined to be recognized for the discovery of a new species. However, in her plans to kidnap a demon, she did not plan far enough ahead. She did not consider that introducing the world to an entirely unknown species would have serious repercussions, perhaps even resulting in a cross-species war. Fortunately for all of us, I was able to recover her captive before any harm could be done.
Another person who could have done major harm to both the fairy and human worlds was Opal Koboi. Opal showed the same faults I have mentioned in previous females plus some. Her mind was obviously not strong enough to handle itself and so collapsed, driving her to insanity. I need not even explain Miss Koboi’s many faults because they are apparent to all. Opal had potential to prove that women deserve to be treated equally, but her weaknesses actually did the opposite. She was written off as insane and power-hungry, not at all the feminist she wished to be.
If you look at history, you will find the same results. Women philosophers are few and far between. If one looks closely at them, one does realize that their ideas stem from that of a man, such as the ideas of Simon de Beauvoir, which were taken from her close association with Jean-Paul Sartre.
Scientists are the same. Einstein, Newton, Plato, all of them were men. Look at the great works of literature. Women writers aren’t as common.
These facts lead to one conclusion: men are much more stable and qualified to handle most situations, especially those that can cause distress. Men, in their ability to separate emotions and logic, become better decision makers than women who cannot do the same. Because of their ability to make unbiased decisions, men are much better competent of being wise leaders. In short, males are the superior gender.

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Comments on This Post

32 responses to “The Haven Herald.” Join in!

  1. Hitsugayatoushiro January 25th, 2010 at 6:00 pm 1

    Girls are so better than boys as the articles prove but guys do play a big part in their lives.
    Great articles though guys; it was fun to read.
    You must’ve worked really hard!

  2. This is way too awesome!!! When will there be another Haven Herald??? I can’t wait!!!

    ps. yes, Tou, girls are so much better than guys.

  3. This is way too awesome!!! When will there be another Haven Herald??? I can’t wait!!!

    ps. yes, Tou, girls are so much better than guys. But… I have no proof. :mrgreen:

  4. Hola!I just had a quick question that I’ve been wondering about for a while. When are we going to have another FanFiction writing contest? I’ve never been able to participate, so I was just thinking…well, yeah, you know what I mean.Glad to see that the Haven Herald is up and running! Can’t wait for an update!

  5. wow the winner story 5 times thingy was EPIC! I luves it! great job mockturtle!

  6. therisingdarkness February 4th, 2010 at 1:12 am 6

    I am a girl, and I do a fair job of controlling my emotions (of course, I’d the girl that can watch several WWII movies and programs and not shed a tear, not feel any anger or pain or sadness, yet cries when I reach a sad part in a book….). I freak people out on a daily basis because I manage to stay blank-faced.

    We women can be emotional, but we do not base ALL our decisions on our emotions.

  7. Girls are so much better! And it’s guys who are all sexist! What’s that about our wild emotions? Who has to prove their masculinity every five seconds? Who smells like armpit half the time? Who wears their pants on da ground?  :D~YoshiP.S. I also want to know when the next FanFic competition is, if it’s not too much trouble. =D

  8. yeah, I’ve gotten much better, and I wanna try my skillz!

  9. that…was odd. it was a very good article and you gave so much proof for your cause,unlike the people who say twilight is better than harry potter and have not a wand to back it up. But, the thing is,girls are still better than guys. I could have done all that Mr.Fowl did and aren’t ALL elves emotionative creatures? and in recent times,women are becoming more involved in politics.take me for example.
    wait,what about there not enough woman writers? J.K. Rowling and me.and wait about 10,15 years and if you see the first name Jade in the news very often,that’s me.

  10. fanfiction contest? ohh sounds interesting…. i hate my phone, it doesnlt like this style of textbox so no advanced punctuation…. oh well. as i like to say, boys rock… but girls rule. anything you can do i can do better and all that. heheh. seriously though, id be all for a fanfiction contest…

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    hey… they’re giving out autographed pics on Team Rosalie on FB :)…

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