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The Haven Herald

Opal’s View on TTP

Warning: This article will contain major spoilers for The Lost Colony and the sixth book, The time Paradox. Read at your own risk.

Hello humans, this is Opal Koboi, the most beautiful and intelligent of your species. This is being sent over your primitive internet from Howler’s Peak, a goblin prison, clearly unfit for my spectacular self. The food is less than satisfactory, the beds lumpy, and the clothes inadequate. It just will not do. Not to mention that the cells are too small. I don’t know how you humans live with this pituitary gland.

But, my loyal servants, we must temporarily turn the subject from myself. Please, keep your small minds on the task at hand: reading this will help better me in the end, do not worry. And don’t look directly at the screen; it’s bad for my skin.

Well, as you are probably aware, the good-for-nothing gang of morons that have by luck—and luck only—imprisoned me here have recently returned from a little spin in Hybras. The time tunnel that kept the demons out of our world was unraveling, causing chaos throughout. A little brat named Minerva didn’t help the matters; she captured a demon and planned to show it to the world in order to win a Nobel prize. It all ended quite happily, with Artemis and Holly disappearing into the time tunnel forever, until recently. Of course, I trust that you have kept up to date on these things until now. What I am going to give you is a little information on their current whereabouts.

Artemis Fowl’s mother is dying from a disease, and only has a few days to live. This, fortunately, causes little Artemis quite a bit of grief. He himself caused the extinction of the animal who’s brain fluid is needed to save Angeline Fowl. There’s a little bit of irony for you.

Because of the journey to Hybras, Artemis decides to use the time travel to his advantage, but unfortunately, the LEP controls all of the technology. He decides to guilt-trip Holly into helping him by, get this, telling her that it’s her fault his mother is sick. It makes me think that perhaps Artemis isn’t quite as useless as he seems.

Unfortunately for Holly, she is feeling terrible at the moment. The less-than-bright centaur Foaly has gotten married (and I shudder to think of the person who would agree to such a thing) and he has settled down.

When they go back in time they must face a less sympathetic, colder, and all together more agreeable Artemis, as well as a group of wonderful people called The Extinctionists. They believe that no species except humans should be allowed on the planet (my kind of people). To add to all of that, I am aware that the period of time they will travel to is very significant for Holly, and Artemis will discover why Holly hates his species so much. It is a delightfully horrid situation.

Now let’s get back to me. I have an offer for you, whoever can sabotage Artemis’ efforts will be given an award greater than they could imagine. They will be able to serve me endlessly for the rest of eternity.* I must have my revenge. To destroy their plans is simple enough; they are already in quite a situation.

*Fangathering and its affiliates are not associated with this contest. You can contact Miss. Koboi at Opal@Koboilabs.gnom.

Thanks to AFC for your amazing interview that gave us this information.

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Comments on This Post

31 responses to “The Haven Herald.” Join in!

  1. Umm…just so you know, I’m a girl…

  2. The “You wann be a crimminal mastermind” was AWESOME! Except I think cash instead of presents is kinda unlikely and crimminal masterminds probably get coal instead of presents. Keep it up!

  3. Sorry about that! I’ll fix it.

  4. Fixed. XD

    Ah, and yeah, great point about the coal. Thanks. 🙂 The guide assumes that you’re still on Santa’s “nice” list, though.

  5. I’m sorry I didn’t get the advice out on time…..

  6. Great issue guys!!!As always!!!!Articles are great and everything looks very nice!!!Congrats to all winners and you Star Jinin!!

  7. Meo!  Feandril!  Holly314!Great Job!Also congrats to Star and K_K and Forsaken.

  8. [Statement]: Artificial intelligence – not amused. Putting brackets is not about being cool. It’s about being productive. It’s about expressing your emotions clearly. Something we cyborgs are far better in than you humans. Or at least would be if we HAD emotions… but we don’t……[Confused Query]: What was this about anyway? [Reseting. Success.][Humanizing. Success.(WOW!)]Umm… yay for me… Newbie? >.>Sure makes MY day… :p [Ending. Success.(Two in a ROW!? Who would have thought)

  9. this is my first post on this I’m new lol

  10. Feandril, what are with these things: []?

  11. I have a science project due tomorrow

  12. HELLO welcome Nokomis
    congratulation all winners and StarJinin

  13. Hello Nokomis!So did you like 5th issue guys?!Is there something you would like to change?!

  14. Iloved the “So You Wanna Be a Criminal Mastermind?” and “Opal’s View on TTP” They were both awesome!!! And congrats to Star Jinin! Yay you! 😀

  15. Hey guys! Congrats Meo! Yer awesome… really awesome…totally awesome! Hey congrats to everybody else too [statement] Hey Feandril! I knew you’d get noticed for your…unique style.

  16. [Statement]: Of course I would. My style and the fact that I am very cool. In fact, too cool… :Plol…

  17. Ty guys well I wonder what the new book by him is like anyone read it?

  18. I can’t read “The Haven Harold” Where is it? I can’t locate it on the site! 😕

  19. Oh! never mind… I feel stupid now.

  20. I got member of the month? Yay! *does happy dance* Thank you so much! 😀 😀 😀

  21. Congrats guys especially Meo and Feandril, well done :D.

  22. CONGRATS TO EVERYOE WHO HAS WON!!!! You definetly deserved it!!!!!

    Does anybody know if I have won anything in this competition ???????????? Cuz I have only read The Fourth and Fifth Haven Heralds. I can’t find the other ones, or else i would read them.

  23. Hmm, you may want to check out all the past Haven Heralds. Here’s everything from the very beginning, for everyone’s benefit:

    The Haven Herald Issue#1
    The Haven Herald Issue#2
    The Haven Herald Issue#3
    The Haven Herald Issue#4 

    😛

  24. hi!!
    i’m new here, i love the haven herald
    specialy the part of “so you wanna be a criminal mastermind?” ’cause actually i do… XD
    when i was little i wanted to plan a bank robbery haha. the problem: i don’t have that much money(and i don’t think santa claus will provide enough :P)and i don’t think can put a paper outside my door asking for minions (i don’t want them to start thinking i’ve gone crazy or someting hehe)…

  25. Хм… спорно, поспорил бы с автором…

  26. It’s great to find an expert who can exlipan things so well

  27. Ahahah, mas tão submissos que nós andamos ao paizinho Saakashvili!!! Agora o "blog dos ucranianos de Moçambique" (aka o blog do Jest) até faz propaganda aos comandos georgianos… e que tal se mostrasse o belo trabalho dos artilheiros georgianos que bombardearam selvaticamente Tskinvali?Jest, qual é a razão para adorar o Saakashvili dessa maneira? É por ele também ser anti-russo?

  28. then that once this movement gains traction, it will take off. It certainly has started. But we must be ever diligent and we must be ever mindful that the change must be clear, concise and very calculated. Sloppiness will not rule the day.I believe that this young priest, in 1996, saw in his daily work with Card. Mayer what would be. If I could question that young priest today, I’d ask him this: “Are we on track? Is the vision which Cardinals Mayer, Stickler, Oddi, Ratzinger, Casaroli, Gantin, Innocenti, Palazzini, and Tomko saw coming to bear?”I wonder what that young priest would say?

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  30. (The Ghost of) Van Wijk,Have you joined the Heavenly Choir?I hope this is not to say that you've never smoked kief at all, Rick.No comment…. when you go to discuss philosophy (or foreign policy) with the headhunters, do you ask to see the Headman? Aren't they all Headmen?Ha ha! Yes. When you want the top guy, you have to ask for the Head Headhunter.

  31. July 2, 2012 Wow! This can be one particular of the most useful blogs We’ve ever arrive across on this subject. Actually Great. I am also a specialist in this topic therefore I can understand your effort.

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