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The Mind Wipe

Summary:    It was a Saturday morning, and  Artemis Fowl was still in bed. He slept in until six am. He woke […]

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   It was a Saturday morning, and  Artemis Fowl was still in bed. He slept in until six am. He woke up to the Fowl Manor’s alarm going off. Butler was in the security room.  “It appears we have an intruder, Artemis.” Butler said. Artemis looked at the screen. “It appears they are underground, too.” Artemis replied. Artemis new exactly who it was. Diggums, Mulch Diggums.

Red dot on the screen indicated the intruder. “It is Mulch, Butler.” Artemis said. Butler groaned. It reminded him of the time he blasted him with dwarf gas. The red dot stopped at the door of the Fowl Manor. Artemis looked at the front door camera. Sure enough, it was Mulch. Butler ran downstairs, taking the stair steps two at a time.

Artemis walked down slowly, in casenothing burst through the door. Butler opened the door, and a foul smell entered the mansion. Butler saw Mulch’s smiile. Diggums chuckled. Artemis came down the steps. “Why have you come, Mr. Diggums?” Artemis asked. Mulch grinned, “Oh, you know…an old visit to my good ol’ friend!” Artemis’s eyes narrowed, “Is this some sort of set up?” Mulch shook his head. Butler stepped in front of Artemis. “Master Fowl does not wish to speak to any guest rightnow,” Butler said. Mulch grinned, “Oh, I was not going to talk to him.” Butler looked confused. But he saw Mulch pull out a small device.

“Artemis! Cover your eyes!” Butler yelled. Artemis covered his eyes, and so did Butler. Mulch pressed the mind wipe button. But he accidently had it pointed to himself, and fell down. Butler and Artemis uncovered there eyes. “Unsmart dwarf.” Artemis muttered with a smile. They both went back to their previous occupation. Mulch was taken backto Haven by Holly Short, she had located him, and taken him back. Although Artemis had contacted Holly to take Mulch back. That was a different morning Artemis thought.

                                                                                                           

Comments on This Post

17 responses to “The Mind Wipe.” Join in!

  1. Artemis C. Fowl February 4th, 2010 at 11:34 pm 1

    Hello, please RandR! This is my first story! I am new to this website! Thank-you!

  2. Honestly? This needs some work. While the overall grammar/spelling/punctuation was OK, the sentences were just… bleh. For instance, instead of, “It was Saturday morning… he slept in until 6:00 a.m.,” you could write something like, “It was 6:00 on a warm, bright Saturday morning….” Just a suggestion!

  3. It’s not particularly /bad/, but it’s nt particularly /good/ either.

    You can space paragraphs, I’m happy about that, but you grammar and spelling need some work, as does your ability to get characters IC.

    Hope I’ve helped some.

    p.s. ‘Unsmart’ isn’t a word.

  4. It is… extremely confusing, I’m sad to say. Butler is OOC, as is Artemis and Holly. Overall there wasn’t enough details.

    and Artemis uncovered there eyes

    Their. Please. I really don’t like this kind of mistakes, along with your and you’re.

    They both went back to their previous occupation. Mulch was taken backto Haven by Holly Short, she had located him, and taken him back. Although Artemis had contacted Holly to take Mulch back. That was a different morning Artemis thought

    Please explain. I feel like you’re tired of thinking and just put this part here to end it. It doesn’t mean anything.

    Unless, of course, you’re going to update. Then it’s a whole different story. *Wink*

  5. It wasn’t bad, but it has no currently visible plot. It just seems like you were writing for the heck of it, which only works in specialized situations.

  6. Beckett Simpleton February 5th, 2010 at 3:26 pm 6

    it was allright i guess. ditto what Yoshi said i guess.

  7. I just feel bad for poor, dumb Mulch. Tsk tsk tsk, Mulch. Wrong way. 😀

  8. My comment is awaiting moderation.

    Beware ‘n’ stuff.

  9. Artemis C. Fowl February 6th, 2010 at 2:20 am 9

    I am sorry for my mistakes, I am better writing than typing. I am not the best at this, again, sorry. 🙁

  10. I love your writing. 🙂

  11. Hey, are you from a English country? becuz I think that’ll explain why this doesn’t flow.

    And if you are, then it just means PRACTISE.

  12. shadowsnake451 February 6th, 2010 at 3:15 pm 12

    HELEN!!! I’m English!!!
    I think everyone should stop picking on our new family member. We were all new once, right? It’s kinda scary, thinking people won’t like your work, or you’ll say the wrong thing and everyone will hate you.
    Don’t worry, Artemis C. I’ll look after you. If you don’t mind being looked after by a resident crazy *wink*

  13. shadowsnake451 February 6th, 2010 at 3:16 pm 13

    Don’t worry, by the way. I won’t stalk you. I’m just a very maternal figure. I loved this fic!!

  14. This was pretty good, just, um, no reasl plot. Other than that I pretty much liked it. =D Trust me, you’ll get the hang of this site fast. I’m kinda new too.

    And if you’re better writing on paper, do that then re-type them up here. we all do it a t some point. =D good luck!

  15. What does the C stand for? =)=)

  16. Eh, his name? but why has ACF not come back? *Whines pathetically* I’m sorry if I make you feel bad…

    @shadowsnake451: No, I didn’t mean you. I meant ACF. AND I like the guy too. I already have a nickmane for him (or her? Tell me!)!

  17. Artemis C. Fowl February 17th, 2010 at 1:51 am 17

    Hi, I have not checked on this story for a while, sorry. And yes I am from North America. I myself don’t like this story that much.:D And the “C” in my username is a secret!

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