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Riddance

Summary: Foaly finds a disk from Haven's past,and it soon is stolen. Who stole the disk,and why? Was it someone familiar in the past,or someone new?

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5

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      Foaly was digging through a few boxes in the dusky supply room,when he came across a box labeled ‘Unsolved’,and he,being the curious centaur he was,just had to look through it.He rummaged through a folder that’s labeling was messy and unreadable. “Rookie,most likely.” “An old disk,it looks like…”he rubbed the dust off of the circular object. ” Ha! Look at the size of this thing! Well,this was…” he peered at the date that was written on the DVD-sized disk through the dim lights.”1984…Wait….that was…..”

“Foaly?”

He turned sharply and faced a bored-looking Holly Short. “Yes?”

“Paperwork.” She tossed a stack of papers onto a desk and walked out.

“Two words is a new record for Holly.” The centaur muttered, looking bemused.

“I heard that!” Holly yelled into the door,laughing quietly.

“I know you did.” Foaly answered, as he slipped the silver circle into a shining, dented computer.

“Chaos is in great quantity this evening, after an unknown person or persons lit the Kingceller Fireworks building on fire.There are over 300 known dead, and thousands are wounded. Downtown Haven has been burnt to the ground, and many are without homes…” Came the crisp voice of the newscaster, a pixie with short blond hair. “If you are in need of provisions, come to the Haven Community Center to get food and water.”

Following the rather depressing newscast was a close up of the heavily damaged fireworks building. It was burnt and seared, barely standing, and barely visible through the thick smoke, flames licked the sides of the charred building and a few blackened bodies littered the rubble.

“Foaly, have the paper work done yet?” Holly asked,looking down at a clipboard.

“Er..no Holly, sorry.” He moaned, and paused the disk “Hey, you remember the Kingceller Incident, Right?”

“Mhm. What about it?” She tossed the clipboard aside and propped her elbows up on a cluttered desk.

“I found a disk with the newscast from that day,before the news building exploded.” The centaur answered, his face grim.

“Well,” Holly sighed,and blinked slowly. ” They never solved that,did they?”

“Nope.You want to watch?”

“Yeah.” She said,and he started the disk from the beginning,but as soon as the pixie had started,Holly had left the room,saying that she was needed to yell at some rookies. “Anyway, I should get to work on the papers.” He said to himself,looking after Holly, the faint sound of heels clicking on tile chasing her out. “After I finish this.” he said as he grinned and fast forwarded to the point he was at before she came in.

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5

Comments on This Post

6 responses to “Riddance.” Join in!

  1. Firstly, did this all have to be in bold? Just askin. Also, you might want to look at this again because I saw you missed some spaces in some sentences, mainly around the puncuation.

    It was kind of interesting though.

  2. Huh. I ran it through Spell Check,so It might be a pasteation (not a word,I know) error. I’ll fix that. And no,It didn’t need to be in bold.If fact,not sure why it is.I’ll fix that,too.

  3. Ohansahyosheli July 5th, 2010 at 1:07 am 3

    Good story. Regarding grammar: The space bar is your friend!

  4. Nice. It seems interesting so far, and original. This is good. But. Grammar is not quite so good.

    You need a space after every midsentence comma, like this.
    After quotes, if you’re doing a direct quote (“said Holly” for example) you don’t need to capitalize the word after the quote.

    “Like this,” said I.
    “It’s the same for exclamation marks!” exclaimed AA.
    “Did you know it’s the same for question marks?” asked Battery.
    “Or this, if you’re using an indirect quote that tells what someone is doing as or after they speak, not that they said it.” The reviewer kept typing.

  5. Oh,thank you! I’ve never quite understood wiether I should capitalise or not,so I do to be on the safe side. I’ll try to remember that.

  6. This was… nice. 🙂 A brilliantly original idea, with a sprinkle of humor in the fiery chaos….

    ….of paperwork. 😀
    ~CC

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