You are here: Home » FanFiction » I’m Soo Sorry.

I’m Soo Sorry.

Summary: Artemis sat down on his daughter Amy’s bed. An empty bed. Holly came in. “Artemis I have been looking for […]

Chapters: 1 2

3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 53 votes, average: 4.33 out of 53 votes, average: 4.33 out of 53 votes, average: 4.33 out of 53 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5 (3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)
You need to be a registered member to rate this post.
Loading...

Reading Mode

Artemis sat down on his daughter Amy’s bed. An empty bed. Holly came in.

“Artemis I have been looking for you every where.” She noticed Artemis had tears running down his face. She sat down next to him. Artemis looked downย at Holly. Holly’s face reminded him soo much of Amy. Holly rested her head on Artemis’s shoulders,and Artemis hugged her tightly.

“I miss her soo much,”said Artemis. Holly nodded,tears forming in her eyes.

“There was nothing more we could have done,”said Holly. Artemis knew she was right,but he wouldn’t admit it. He still blammed himself for what happened.

ย 

ย 

4 MONTHS AGO, PARIS…..

Holly,Artemis,and there 8 year old daughter Amy were walking around the streets of Paris,France. They were there for Holly’s birthday, and were heading down towards the busy Paris market. Amy had pulled her long brown hair into a ponytail and her blue and hazel eye’s glistened in the Paris sun. Holly and Artemis picked a table in the market cafe and Artemis hoisted Amy onto a cafe chair. Amy gazed around the cafe and spotted a gumball machine. Artemis followed her gaze and dug around in his pocket. Amy was about to ask when Artemis handed her 2 quarters. “Go ahead,”he said. “Just be careful.”

ย Amy smiled,grabbed the coins,and skipped toward the gumball machine. Holly looked puzzled.

“Why in the world would there be a gumball machine in a cafe,”she said. Artemis shrugged,still watching Amy. Two men walked by covered head to toe. Not one square inch of skin was showing. “Odd.”thought Holly. The two men were the same height, probably twins. Like Opal’s henchmen Merv and Descant. But still……Holly’s thought’s were inturupted when the one man removed his hand from his pocket. A small green pixie hand.

“Oh my god!”said Holly. “Artemis look,”she said pointing at the hand. Artemis realized who they where and quickly got up,grabbing Holly’s hand.

“Were going,”he said,and turned back towards Amy. She was gone and in her place was a smiling girl. She was short with long black hair. She pulled back her hair to reveal two pointy ears. Pixie ears

Chapters: 1 2

Comments on This Post

12 responses to “I’m Soo Sorry..” Join in!

  1. Beckett Simpletoon March 20th, 2010 at 7:59 pm 1

    Awww. Are you continuing this??? I am interested. You have a blank chapter 2 BTW.

  2. Yeah I will continue and sorry about the ghost chapter. I will try to get rid of it! ;D

  3. Ghost chappie alert!!
    Continue please…poor lil Amy..poor lil Arty, I really wanna kno wat happens

  4. WARNING: THIS IS NOT A FLAME. I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A FLAME.
    This is very exact constructive criticism .
    Everywhere is one word.
    Artemis’ not Artemis’s
    I miss her so much, not soo much.
    You need a space after every comma, and after every quotation. Is your spacebar broken?
    Their daughter would not have different coloured eyes. Genetics just doesn’t allow it.
    QUOTE GRAMMAR, QUOTE GRAMMAR, QUOTE GRAMMAR
    These are all wrong:
    “Blah, blah, blah.” He said.
    “Blah, blah, blah.” he said.
    “Blah, blah, blah,” He said.
    This is right:
    “Blah, blah, blah,” she said.
    This is also right:
    “Blah, blah, blah.” Her voice was strained.
    END OF QUOTE GRAMMAR
    We’re going not were going.
    And that ends exact concrit.
    Now….
    OHMYGAWD IT’S A CLICHE…. Opal kidnapping their daughter has already been done. A lot. So has Opal doing… well… anything.
    I’m not saying this sucks but it’s cliched. Moving on…
    **********
    Now, if you fix all the little errors and ignore my short cliche rant, you will have a decent story. Add a little more description and it would be good.
    THIS WAS NOT A FLAME.

  5. I agree with everything Cookie said, EXCEPT the apostrophe thing. Either Artemis’ or Artemis’s is acceptable. ๐Ÿ™‚

    But it is interesting, I’ll give you that.

  6. Hermione Fowl March 21st, 2010 at 6:47 am 6

    I quite like this. But yeah, a little chliche. =)=)=)

  7. I know that is has been done before but I will totallly make it different I PROMISE!!! Oh and sorry about the grammar! ;D

  8. ๐Ÿ˜€ Nice! I feel like there’s something else i’m supposed to ask… Oh. Does AnYoNe have any proof of Opal’s hair colour?

    ~CC

  9. Well… on the new cover of the Opal Deception, her hair is black. Personally, I always pictured it being a weird reddish colour. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Anyways, this was quite interesting. I’d really like for you to continue. There were several mistakes, but those have already been pointed out by cookie. Good job! ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. Wikipedia says it’s black… dunno how reliable that is, though.

    And as long as it’s different, then I’m good with it. ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. Opal’s on Wikipedia? Interesting. ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. The books say Opal’s hair is black, and the book says Artemis’s, I checked. i always check. FAIRIES!

Leave a Reply

Help: How do I get an avatar?