Artemis fowl and the time paradox part two (part 6)

Summary: HAVEN CITY,12 YEARS AGO:CHAPTER ONE AUTHOR’S NOTE: I checked for the eighteenth time since I posted part 5 and nobody […]

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HAVEN CITY,12 YEARS AGO:CHAPTER ONE

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I checked for the eighteenth time since I posted part 5 and nobody has reviewed so far! gimme a D’Arvittin’ break…Anybody who DOES comment on that gets a lolipop.

HAVEN CITY,TWELVE YEARS AGO

  Artemis had already got sick of Orion’s random drabbles. Number one had said ,’Don’t let anyone know about their futures, Artemis. If they know too much about their futures, that future may never come to pass.’ And Orion had already told Holly everything about the current timeline, Artemis was wondering if the space time continum had smashed to bits.

Right now, the gear was on autopilot and he was explaining to both Holly and Orion about whatever it was they were actually after.

‘That area is off limits,mud boy,’said Holly. ‘Belive me, you don’t want to go there. One time was more than enough for me.’

Artemis glanced at her sharply. ‘You’ve been there?’

Holly nodded. ‘Once. I was nearly killed, and I would have died if Foaly hadn’t kicked that creature’s  butt. Well, literarlly. He actually attempted a kick.’

Artemis was suprised. ‘Foaly actually went on a…MISSION?’

Holly rolled her eyes. ‘Of course not. What’d ya think? This was a class trip, when we were kids.’

‘You were in Foaly’s class?’

‘Yeah, you find that surprising? Foaly, Opal and I were in the same class. I hated Opal, show off.’

‘Eh,it’s just that…Foaly went to one of Haven’s best schools. He had to pass a big test and…’

‘What, you thought I failed?’

Artemis was starting to feel that maybe pushing this topic a little further was a bad idea,but he was curious. ‘You passed? How much did you get?’

‘One mark below thousand. What was on your mind, the pass mark?’

Orion cleared his throat. ‘Artemis, do not annoy miss Short.’

‘Grr…Don’t call me that, it sounds like I’m a maid or something.’

‘But,Holly, are you not the fairest maiden in the land?’

Holly growled. ‘Want me to slap you? Isn’t that what “maidens” do?’

Artemis grinned. ‘I’d love that.’

Holly scowled at Artemis and Orion.

‘Do you remember what we were supposed to be talking about? Oh yeah, the trip. I had to go with Opal as a partner. That’s one reason it sucked.’

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Sorry if it was short, but believe me, I SHALL RETURN!! FOR AN AWESOME UPDATE THAT’S GONNA BLOW YOUR PANTS OFF, FELLA! sorry people, but you have to be honest, ‘K? Tell me if my fic sucked,plus give me some ideas about a better title. Plus, first three commentors get lollipops!

            -SHAADIA, THE                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      PRINCESS         OF AWESOME WEIRDOS

 

 

 

Comments on This Post

2 responses to “Artemis fowl and the time paradox part two (part 6).” Join in!

  1. the huntress (or tress) January 30th, 2013 at 2:07 pm 1

    Hey! Cool! Though I think I missed part one… I’ll go review that too… I saw no mistakes! There are only 2 things I would point out, and it’s not grammatical, just something I like seeing in fics.
    1) More descriptions. It might be because I missed the part 1, (how did I do that???) But I would love to see descriptions of their facial expressions, maybe outside the shuttle (I’m assuming shuttle… you said ‘the gear was on autopilot’…)

    Like:

    ‘Yeah, you find that surprising? Foaly, Opal and I were in the same class. I hated Opal, show off.’ Her nose wrinkled in annoyance, the feeling of disgust clearly evident.

    I dunno. I just like facial expressions.

    2) I’m not quite sure if this is an actual rule, but I see it in published books: when emphasizing a word, like your word ‘mission’, normally you would italicize rather than capitalize. not something to worry about at all, just a tip if you’re a perfectionist. 🙂

    Overall, this sounds rreeaaally cool. Update soon, and I am going to go find part 1!!!

  2. Ok, you asked for honesty, so I’m gonna rake it on. I’m not really one for sugarcoating anyway. It was kinda short and you probably could have included a little more foreshadowing, because it seemed a little random. I seemed like Orion was a little OOC by revealing the entire current time line. He was part of Artemis’ mind and would have probably known that would smash the metaphysical fabric of time.

    Not much else to critique… YAY LOLLIPOP!

    As said in another comment under one of mine, Right Place, Wrong Time and Time Traveler’s Genius could work.

    *thinks* so could Ripping Time or The Rip in the Paradox.

    Hope this helps!

    Shaadia: THANKS SILVER!! Those are great names.

    I think I’ll take the rip in the paradox,sounds so cool.

    YOU GET ANOTHER LOLIPOP FOR THAT!

    PS: i noticed you posted two new stories.will take a look

    um,yeah,another thing…dont expect this fic to be too A/H ok? well,maybe a bit but not something too much,except at the end. well nothing people like me have to worry about (HEY I HATE MINERVA TOO, OK?) im just saying i totally suck at those sorta things, i told u before silver. ps: i checked your story i left my heart behind,but for some reason the reviews section isnt opening. sorry,ill try later.

    Silver: Saying to. I just checked it and it wouldn’t pop up for me either… I’m not exactly sure how to fix it. I may just put an A/N saying to leave it’s comments under another story. Not that someone would wanna comment on facepalm worthy failure. Anyway…

    I’m glad you liked my titles!

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