I walk faster, but it always catches up to me
We talk all night, never saying anything
Artemis knew the truth. This was the end. There would be no amazing rescues, no dashing escapes. They were finished. But he couldn’t forget it. Why was this end? What had he done? Artemis had sacrificed Holly. She was silenced, never to speak to Artemis again. To her, Artemis thought she was expendable. She left him, and she wouldn’t come back. The painful truth always caught up to him.
I am all that’s in the way
Do you ever feel the same?
Artemis could make it up to her. Maybe, just maybe, he could create some dazzling plan or achieve some amazing feat. She would come back to him. All that was blocking him from this… was himself. It was his “dazzling” plan and his attempt to achieve an “amazing” feat that had caused this. He had slipped, and his mistakes had sent her away. She could take the danger and the suspense of their world-saving fiascoes, but she couldn’t take him. He would need a miracle to get her back.
Miracles don’t exist in us
We just wish ourselves away.
Artemis wished. He tried to win her back. He made revolutionary machines, painted beautiful works of art, and still, she didn’t come back. Artemis wished. He tried. He surpassed even the genius Foaly, leaving the centaur to rebuild from the ashes of his defeat. But she still didn’t love him. Artemis finally accepted it: he wasn’t lucky. Ironic, seeing his Irish. Miracles didn’t exist for him. He was only wishing; wishes didn’t work.
I’m not right this way
Removed and so ashamed.
Artemis didn’t want to accept it. It couldn’t be true. She couldn’t leave him! She just couldn’t! He wasn’t right when he gave up. He had excluded himself, throwing himself away and putting him into the wastebasket of Life. Artemis was ashamed. He had disgraced the Fowls by giving up. He had disgraced Butler, who was his companion for his entire life. Worse, he had used his love: Holly.
But it wasn’t over. Artemis knew he could make it up to her. He needed to keep trying. Artemis wished. He tried. He’s still trying, and he will never stop trying. He needs a miracle. Artemis didn’t, doesn’t, and will never understand: miracles didn’t exist for him.