Disclaimer: Colfer ,damn him (just kidding) beat me to it, so i do not own Artemis Fowl.

“Trouble, remind me again why we are going out to a dance instead of the movies?” asked Holly, brushing bits of cat fur from her black dress. Black showed almost everything. Trouble grinned. “You’ll see. Our favourite band is playing ,” said Trouble. Holly smiled and followed her date to the mercedes. Trouble, always the gentleman, opened the door for her. He got in the driver’s seat and shut the door.

“ooooh, a convertible!” squealed holly. trouble pushed a button and the hood rolled down. He turned the keys and started down the road.

15 MINUTES LATER

” Um, holly, you should be warned that Grub and Chix will be there. With their dates,” said the Captain, as they neared the club.

Holly groaned. WHY??? everybody knew that Grub was checking Lili frond. Lili was Holly’s worst nightmare.What a bimbo. She busied herself by applying more lipstick.

“Holls, we’re here,” Trouble said. He shut down the car and pulled down the hood..

Holly stepped out. Wow. She had never felt so pretty in her life, except when her School crush had told her so when she was younger. (who had just happened to be trouble.) Trouble said this again. ” You look spectacular,” he said, and put his arm around her shoulder. Holly blushed nine shades of red and walked with him into the dance hall.

“TRUBS! HEY! TRUBS! OVER HERE!” yelled Grub as he saw his brother. Poor Captain Kelp moaned. How embarrasssing. Holly hid a smile with her hand. The big Disco ball glittered above them, casting an eerie light on them. It brought out holly’s flourescent pink hairdo. Trouble walked over with Holly.

Lili sneered. She was in a scarlet dress with a black sash. Her long blonde hair had been curled up in a pretty fashion.Her nails had been painted red . She looked as pretty as Holly. “Well, lookie what the cat dragged in. A stinkworm.”Lili snarled. Grub looked uncomfortable. Chix, whose date had been a sprite called Mohena, seemed unphased as he examined himself in the mirror.

‘Shutup, blondie. What’s meow mix?” asked holly, cocking and eyebrow.

“Oh, that’s easy. Obviously it’s a CD for cats,”said Frond, “Everyone should know that!”

Trouble had to turn around so Grub could not see him laughing at his date. Holly was not as polite, and roared with laughter. Lili looked confused. ‘Goodbye, Frond. See you later on tonight. And for later acknowledgement, Meow Mix is CAT FOOD.” She and Trouble walked in the middle of the floor just as the music began.

bailamos….let the rhthym take you over… Holly and Trouble glided over the floor, performing the tango, salsa and almost every dance they knew. holly looked deep, deep, into those nut brown eyes, and knew that the perfect guy for her, who she could live with for the rest of her life was there, in her arms…

“Uh, Lili, let’s sit this one out,” said Grub sheepishly. He hated to admit that he couldnt dance to salsa even if his life depended on it. lili glared at him.Grub was such a wimp.

“CHIX! I’M YOUR DATE,” hollered Mohena. Once again, Chix was trying to seduce a pretty brunette pixie.

5hours later…

“Oh, trouble, that was.. magical!” said Holly. Trouble had dropped her off at her house . He smiled. “Uh, Holly, you realize we have been dating for about three months,” said Trouble. He fiddled nervously with his keys.

“Yea,”….said Holly. What on earth could he be talking about? “Tomorrow I’m gonna take you to the movies after work,” Trouble said. He smiled and got into his car.

“Ta-ta, sweetheart !”he said, and tipped his hat to Holly and drove away. Holly shook her head. She opened the door of her house and got in. “Meow,” mewled her cat. She walked upstairs to her room and opened her closet. Time to figure out the outfit for tomorrow’s date with Trouble..

Chapter Two

“Golly, Holly,” said Trouble, Opening his eyes as wide as they could go. (which is pretty Darned wide)
Holly smiled happily.She wore a dark purple skirt with a bejewelled purple shirt. There were purple flats on her shoes. She wore purple jewellry. Trouble had just worn a simple Blue suit with Black sneakers.

he helped Holly into his car.

TROUBLE’S POV
poor holly. She was going to get the shock of her life and the most memorable date in her lifetime. I myself could hardly wait.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Holly and Trouble Kelp sat eagerly in the cinema for different reasons. Trouble kept glancing eagerly in his pocket. The secret item was still safe. Holly wrapped her purple poncho around her. It was very chilly.Holly chomped on a few kernels of popcorn.Trouble could feel a bead of sweat trikle down his back.

Just about the time that the movie would start, Holly Short got the shock of her life.

It was so big, it would change her life forever.

Words were scrolling across the screen. Big, purple, letters. “Oh, my, GOD…..”

the words were: HOLLY SHORT WILL YOU MARRY ME?

Holly stood up. Trouble knelt down before her. He took the golden ring from his pocket. “Holly Short will you marry me?” he asked. Tears were shining in holly’s amber eyes. Everybody in the cinema (including the dumbfounded root with his date vinyaya) turned towards them. cameras were whipped out. “AWWWW,”some people said.

“yes, Trouble Kelp, i will marry you,” she sobbed. Trouble slipped the ring on her finger. He put an identical one on his.He hugged Holly, and drove her home.

Chapter 3

” Foaly , I demand to know if you were in the movie thing,” said Holly playfully.”Okay, I was, “admitted Foaly, “It was very fun. I wanted to add a sarcastic comment, but i sensed Trouble would kill me,” foaly said. Holly rolled her eyes. She looked at her Fiance.Trouble grinned.

Just at that moment, a tearful Lili Frond busted in the room. “Wow, Lili ,” said Trouble,”What the hell happened to YOU?”

“It’s Grub,” sobbed Lili. Trouble became worried instantly.” What, Lili?” asked Holly , accidentally letting concern slip into her voice. ” He can’t find my hairbrush,” she sobbed. “I NEED MY HAIRBRUSH!” Trouble snorted. Obviously Lili had been a brat when she was little.”Corporal Frond, control yourself,” snapped Holly.Lili gulped and narrowed her eyes. “You shutup,”she hissed.

“At least I dont go around with different men like the d’arvit you are,”Lili hissed. Holly’s eyes opened very wiide. “Uh, Holly, now is REALLY not the time,” said Foaly,drawing his hooves off the floor. “Just leave it, Holly,” said Trouble, noticing what Foaly was doing, he wisely stepped off the floor.With a yell, Holly leapt on Lili. Both began the best (or worst) girl fight imaginable.Holly’s hands were yanking Frond’s hair.”

“Foaly, press the button,” urged trouble,sensing someone would get hurt.

“No can do, Trubs,” said Foaly gleefully,”I haven’t seen some raw fighting in centuries.” “Grrrrr,” growled Trouble. He marched out to the fighting women. This was when the malicious Foaly saw it fit to press the button, sending a mild plasma shock through them all just before Root arrived.

“WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?” hollered R00t. Foaly had already devised an excuse.”They were having a conference on the floor, and my finger’s slipped and I pressed the button, Sir,” he said, looking at root. Root’s mood was lightened when he heard Foaly call him ‘Sir.’ “Don’t let it happen again,”he huffed. He barreled out the door.

“I’m sorry, Frond,” said Holly, not feeling sorry at all.”What ever. ” Trouble sighed. How his little brother could like this girl was uncomprehensible.They both got back to work.

On her way home, Holly was stopped by Root. “Um, captain, congratulations.” Holly looked proudly at he ring, which glittered. “Thank you, sir,” she muttered, and walked home.

THE NEXT DAY

(preferably chapter four)

Holly got a call from Trouble. “Uh, Holly, I don’t know if you want to, but I got this apartment for the two of us.You wanna move your stuff there?” “DEFINITELY!” said holly. she hung up.

later……

“Artemis, wait untill you hear the news,”Squealed Holly. “What, captain?” sighed Artemis. He had just been about to take Minerva out to the movies. “TROUBLE AND I ARE GETTING MARRIED!” hollered Holly into the phone. “Oh, ah…. that’s great, Holly! No, Minerva, gimme that…” “OH MY GOD! ce le abominable! ME not there to your wedding??? I simply Must be invited, Holly!” yelped Minerva, who had wrestled the phone from Artemis.

“Um, Minerva, we’ll talk later…”

“Oui, Holly.”

Holly hung up and began packing some of her stuff into boxes.

Chapter Five

‘This is it,” said Trouble, opening the door for holly, who had her cat-carrier in her hand.

“Oh, this is very… very nice….” The house was a wreck. Paint was peeling from the walls. A dilapitated window was shattered. The tiles were stained and mossy. The door to what appeared to be the bathroom hung on by one hinge.Drip-drop. Holly looked up and screwed up her nose. There were cobwebs all over the ceilng.An old, leaky pipe was dripping. “Trouble, did you even LOOK at the house before you bought it?” Demanded Holly.

“What? It’s fine to me,” said her fiance, and plopped down on the musty sofa. CRASH! the sofa gave way under Trouble’s weight.He got up, his cheeks scarlet.

“Well, then again, maybe not.'’Holly rolled her eyes. all men were the same. She pulled out her cellphone. “Foaly, could you get me connections to your brother Stiffhoof? I know he does houses,” she said.

“What’s in it for me?” he said.

“A jumbo bucket of hoof moisturizer and a free ticket to the frond disco with Callabine.”

“YOUR’E ON!”

Foaly’s brother turned out to be just as conceited as Foaly. “Well,” snorted Stiffhoof. “Who’s the genius who bought this wreck?”Holly glared at him.

THREE MONTHS LATER

“Holly, dahling, you look mahvelous,” said Minerva. She was Helping Holly into the Emerald wedding dress.

“Né cé pás?”

“Yeah, um Minerva, could you try NOT to tighten my dress like that? I’m trying to live to see my honeymoon.”

“I’ll tell you what a hairdresser in Spain told me once,” said Minerva, sterelizing a needle to pierce Holly’s ears.”Beauty hurts.”

“OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!” screamed Holly as the hot needle punctured her ears. Minerva heated the needle again.Holly whimpered but gripped the dresser. “OW.OW OW OW OW OWOWOW.” Quickly Minerva sprayed something on her earlobes and pushed Emerald earrings through them.

                                       AN HOUR LATER

Holly peered into the mirror. She couldn’t beleive what she saw. A pretty elf all dolled up in green with earrings on. She did not look like herself at all. Her red hair had been pulled back into a bun so tight it made her eyes bulge. She thought she looked a little like a frog. She longed to get out of this itchy dress and back into her LEP uniform. Whatever. Might as well get this wedding started. Minerva beamed and pushed her glasses firmly upon her nose. “You look belle, Holly.Belle.‘’ Holly sat down on a wooden chair as she watched Minerva get into a pretty pink (and rather short) dress.

Some other stories by captainshort101:

• Shadow of the day
• Artemis Fowl and the quest with king lief( the REAL part II)
• Artemis Fowl and the quest with King Lief, Part II
• Artemis Fowl and the quest with King Lief
• I'm baaaaaaaack!