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The Last Straw

Summary: I've really been getting into poetry, haven't I? Aw well. Yet another attempt, this time with a rhyming scheme!

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A/N: Yet another poetry attempt. Flame as you will. 

It was the straw that broke the camel’s back

That caused her broken trust.

It was the straw that broke the camel’s back

It made their friendship turn to dust.

The bond was shattered forever more

Though he still knocked on her door

Begging for forgiveness.

Though trust was now turned to ash

Still the bond continued to last

But old love remained shattered.

‘It was my fault!’

The raven said

‘That she’s almost good as dead!’

But the flame flickered on.

So the dove hissed

To the raven

‘You are a craven

And a fool.’

The words came from

The mouth of a tool.

It was the straw that broke the camel’s back

That made their pure love turn black.

Comments on This Post

20 responses to “The Last Straw.” Join in!

  1. .
    .
    .
    *standing, whooping applouse*

    That was . . . amazing. Especially the uses of raven and dove.

    Yet, dear authoress of of all red, black, and blue,
    What was this straw that broke the camel’s back so true? *sad attempt at teasing poetry*

  2. Fowl knows, dear TWS, what this so-called straw might be;
    yet, while this you ponder, I think I’ll have some tea.

  3. Another awesome poetry attempt, miss Ally Kat, I absolutly adored it. All of it flowed nicely and it had a certain rhythm to it. Your use of raven and dove were great. All and all, fantastic.

  4. It was nice of how you played with the title and the ‘camel’. I liked how you repeated some lines, and the rhyming wasn’t exactly Dr.Seuss, more of a whimsical song, although it isn’t very whimsical indeed, I always feel these rhymings make quite the happy beat. 🙂

    All in all, great.

    () ()
    (^.^) greattt.

  5. This is amazing! This is no attempt; its art. I love this! And, I suppose there’s no use asking for an update, is there? There’s never an update on awesome poetry. 🙁

    Also, I suppose there’s no reason to attempt a small poetry snippet either, is there?

  6. It’s good. My only issue is while your writing this YOUR NOT UPDATING!!!!! =)=)

  7. Poetry isn’t the kind of thing that can be updated. It it’s poetry, chances are they will /never/ be updated. think everyone’ll live?

  8. I might live. Possibly.

  9. shadowsnake451 February 3rd, 2010 at 12:11 pm 10

    flame? Who would ever flame you!

  10. Surprisingly, many many people. Then again, maybe the people on ff.net just enjoy pointing out every, Little. Flaw. Not that I mind! Actually, it’s kind of enjoyable…

  11. *laughing* Half of them make me look nice, the other hyalf make me look like a genius -_-” it pisses me off, actually.

    What flaws did they find with this . . .?

  12. Haven’t posted it yet there. Planning on it, but not yet.

    And, as I’ve said many times, they don’t ‘flame’, they /flame/. If that makes sense. (Of course there are a few that are actually ‘flames’/spam, but I blocked that guy)

  13. You BLOCKED Thomas Moore?

    You do mean him, right? Or CCP?

    Either one is LOL.

  14. Thomas Moore.

    *cricket chirps*

    What?

  15. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

    Oh my god, that’s PRICELESS!!!

    Everyone puts up with him, getting annoyed by him can be considered a right of passage . . . hahaha.

    Nah, we’re buddies . . . He and I are facebook friends . . . 😀

  16. I suppose I’ve gone through my right of passage then?

    (Seriously? He is? Oops…)

  17. Sorry, I meant update your other stories like Getting Away with murder and Curiosity killed the cat. =)=)

  18. shadowsnake451 February 9th, 2010 at 10:07 am 19

    YES! ESPECIALLY curiosity! *hint hint*
    Point out who flames thou, fair lady, and I shall surely smite them where they stand.
    I shall use my trusty lightning bolt to vaporize them.
    *looks round* Ah! Someone has stolen it…I’m getting Deja vu here…

  19. Artiholi180 the epic person of epicness! February 28th, 2010 at 11:52 pm 20

    wow….this…..was………….AWESHOME!!!!!

    great job here! KUDGW!

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