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Mesmer

Summary: Follow, follow the voice. Tones bass and velvet. Enchanting and hypnotic. Standing on a cliff, willing to jump. Follow, follow […]

4 votes, average: 4.75 out of 54 votes, average: 4.75 out of 54 votes, average: 4.75 out of 54 votes, average: 4.75 out of 54 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
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Follow, follow the voice. Tones bass and velvet.

Enchanting and hypnotic.

Standing on a cliff, willing to jump.

Follow, follow the voice. Tones reassuring and true.

Nothing can go wrong.

Falling. Faster, faster.

Follow, follow the voice.Tones shriek and violent.

Like waking from a nightmare.

Hey, look. The ground. Maybe I’ll just try to…

Question, question the voice. Tones dark and fading.

Empty and hollow.

I open my eyes, but it’s already too late…

Comments on This Post

6 responses to “Mesmer.” Join in!

  1. Ahh, that is short, deep and (slightly) creepy. Overall, very cool. I hope you write some more of these if it’s your first.

  2. Absent_Minded_Professor September 24th, 2012 at 9:24 pm 2

    o.O Creepers. I like the repetition of “follow, follow the voice,” and so forth. I also like the rhythmn of the piece. Short, but powerful. Favorite. 🙂
    Welcome to AFFanGathering!

  3. the huntress (or tress) September 25th, 2012 at 9:50 pm 3


    *Dies*
    *sits back up after an in-determined amount of time*
    WHY MUST THERE BE SO MANY OF YA’LL GREAT POETS, WHILE US POETRY-BUTCHER-ERS LAY IN SOBBING HEAPS???!!!???

    …Ahem. Now that that is out of the way. (seriously, I was just harping on Absent Minded Professor about this issue)

    I love this! The ending leaves the reader kind of… I dunno.. it’s just perfect. I like the choppy verbs, like ‘Enchanting and hypnotic’. Great job, and welcome to FanGathering!!! (er.. I forgot to introduce myself.. I’m tress!!!) Obviously. 🙂

  4. 5 star rating orion 🙂 just so you know its Finn from the forum, anyways your one of the greatest poets ive ever seen on FG. youll make FG bloom with your imagination. Good luck with writing!

  5. Finn, I’m glad you liked it! In return, I shall sing your song. And make it a hit.

  6. one question…DO I HAVE TO MISS THE GOOD STUFF AAARRGH I HAAATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS ookaay…nice songfic. a bit creepy, something i like. and brings out the feeling. excellent work. luv this. awesome. cool. exciting. running outta adjectives to use. GO ORION!!

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