The Thoughts, A Poem.

Summary:  Hah. I’m back. 😀 again. Like I said I would…. Recyclable? I think so. xD Some of you may recall […]

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 Hah. I’m back. 😀 again. Like I said I would…. Recyclable? I think so. xD
Some of you may recall the story version. And I posted a poem version of this a awhile back on the main FG site. These were her thoughts during those acts. So, here it goes. The Thoughts, A Poem. I’m actually not really satisfied with it, but… 😕

Right. Warning: Dark. Dark. DARK.  Seriously.

Read the original story: The Taste

Read the other poem version(The Taste, a Poem) here.

I.The better years
I
Loved him
Once upon a
Very long time ago like how once
Every girl loved her
Daddy, at least once.

II. The later years
I felt
Cold metal against my skin, and blood in my mouth, his
Rage was felt in every lash,
I had no choice, my pain was
Eating at me, but
Daddy would never stop.

III. The stronger years
I
Thought I saw fear in his eyes,
Adrenaline rushed through my body,
Scared stiff, he was; laughing maniacally, I was,
Thoughts of twisted flew into my brain, like blood out of his,
Ending my story on a high, sweet note, I say:
Daddy, you deserved it anyway.

Comments on This Post

6 responses to “The Thoughts, A Poem..” Join in!

  1. Dude, absoloutely Ah-may-zing!
    I prefer the original but I love this! You never let my expectations fall!

  2. It’s beautiful. And not THAT dark. And now I relinquish the foolish idea of writing a poem now that this has been posted.

  3. I remember the original. I think I was a random ghost on this site when the story version came out.

    It doesn’t flow very well, but it was nice. Like Tou, I prefer the original, but this is good too. 🙂

  4. Hmm…I never read the original yet. I will…when I get around to it. 🙂 It was good, though.
    ~Elfie 😀

  5. I don’t know if any of you have realised, but these are three acrostics. I was going for the cinquain style, but I was too impatient. :p

    I know it doesn’t flow well, I guess acrostics just aren’t for me, eh? x(

  6. Oh, I get it!! That’s clever!! It seems a lot better now. 🙂 But the original is WAY better.
    WE:The original is darker. That’s probably why that was posted.
    Am I right??

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