Halloween Challenge – The Gift

Summary: The main category is horror

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“Minerva was alone – or she thought she was. In a way it was lucky she didn’t know that the ‘Gift’  Artemis had sent her was less than a metre away. Minerva sensed a sinister presence near her but she did not dare move, Artemis had told her to stay absolutely still and not move a muscle, but was it really Artemis  who had sent her there? Could it be someone or maybe something that had sent her there? It was Halloween after all…

She ran for the door, hoping the stars were out, they had always calmed her down before, but as she ran out the ancient oak door the first constellation she saw was Orion’s Belt. A horrible thought came to her, what had Foaly said about Artemis and someone called Orion? Something about Artemis being insane? Of course it was hard to understand what Foaly was saying with that reeking dwarf  behind him making rude gestures at her. Maybe that was a dream – dreams seem real don’t they?

 

The ‘Gift’ followed her her out of the house, it watched her curl up on the ground, it felt the indecision of another, to save or not to save? Then it felt the Master. It let out a small whimper, magnified  in the autumn night. It could feel the Master was angry now, no, furious. Best to get the job done it reasoned.

 

No.1 stood shocked, he had heard some horrible stories about Artemis from Foaly but he had thought Artemis had changed. How wrong he was, No.1 realised. He must call Holly and face the consequences, he wouldn’t be able to live knowing the Mud Girl had died and he didn’t try to save her.

 

Holly woke to the sound of her ring phone, Artemis had given her an updated version before he died, now she used it to contact No.1. She jumped out of bed and rushed to answer it – he must be in danger.

“Hello?” She asked,

“Hi, I’m in danger here could you come immediately?” No.1 replied sounding worried.

“Sure, I’ll tell Foaly – you never know when he will come in handy.”

“Just come.”

 

The ‘Gift’ felt the vibrations and decided it had better act quickly, taking small steps it advanced on the girl, ready for some dinner. It poised, waiting for the signal but it did not come.

 

Holly managed to get up to the surface in record time – only because all sensible fairies were fast asleep. When she arrived she saw a girl curled up on the floor with a beast lumbering up to her. She was preparing to go into battle when No.1 appeared next to her.

“Wait!” He hissed.”Do you know what type of monster that is? You may defeat it, but it will just come back. The only way to win is to harm the master.”

“How do you know that?” Asked Holly.

“They used to live in Hybras but Qwan thought they had all died in the transition. Obviously he was wrong.”

“Ok, so where is the master?”

“That’s the problem, it’s Artemis.”

“What? Don’t be stupid, Artemis is dead.”

“We never saw the body – it looked like he died but we don’t know for certain”

Holly felt like she had died and come back to life. It wasn’t possible. She brushed the feeling aside. “Who is that girl?” She asked.

“You won’t believe me, but its Minerva” No.1 replied.

“Artemis trying to kill Minerva, it kind of makes sense.”

“But I thought Artemis was good.”

“Enough talking. We have to stop that thing.” Holly decided to change the subject quickly.

Holly crept around the beast, tracking Artemis in her helmet. He was just standing there staring – maybe he couldn’t come to a decision. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a flash of light, and when she took a proper look she saw that Minerva had disappeared and the monster seemed confused. Then the thing started creeping towards her, so she drew her buzz baton. The next thing she knew was pain and then darkness.

 

No.1 stared in horror surely Artemis hadn’t mean’t to do that, maybe Holly was still alive. Then he felt it – the horrible feeling that every magical being feels when another is lost and he knew it was to late. He bolted away to Haven to tell the LEP they must catch Fowl. 

 

Artemis should have felt victorious – his plan had worked – but all he felt was sadness, she was gone. The barricade between him and Minerva had gone but it seemed like he wanted it back. The only thing to do now was to leave, the LEP will hate him, he might as well join the dark side.

 

Commander Trouble Kelp couldn’t believe it, Captain Short and Artemis Fowl had disappeared, they had mindwiped Minerva Paradizo and the best demon warlock of the century, No.1, had gone mad. What in all of Haven had happened? Trouble didn’t believe in the supernatural but it was Halloween after all…

 

 

Comments on This Post

7 responses to “Halloween Challenge – The Gift.” Join in!

  1. My, my, my. You just made the deadline!

    You said this was horror. I don’t see it. Not a bit, sorry.

  2. Hmmmm…… Update I want to see if he really does like Minerva.

  3. Not much horror in this story. It was very little, to say the least, so it did not have the horror effect on me.

    Other than that, the story isn’t too bad, a couple of mistakes here and there.

  4. No con crit as it’s a contest entry. But I have to say that you’ll probs lose… I’ll tell ya why after the judging.

  5. I guessed that Iris Cam, and anyway it is unlikely I’m going to win as this is my first time entering…
    Maybe next time.

  6. No, no. It’s because it makes no sense. That’s why. I couldn’t tell what on earth was it about…. Maybe scrub up on the plot? Or, more likely, it’s the wording. I’ll offer some help.

    Minerva was alone – or she thought she was. In a way it was lucky she didn’t know that the ‘Gift’ Artemis had sent her was less than a metre away. Minerva sensed a sinister presence near her but she did not dare move, Artemis had told her to stay absolutely still and not move a muscle, but was it really Artemis who had sent her there? Could it be someone or maybe something that had sent her there? It was Halloween after all…

    Should be:

    Minerva was alone – or so she thought.

    In a way, it was fortunate that she didn’t know that the ‘Gift’ Artemis had sent her was less than a metre away. Minerva had sensed a sinister presence near her, but she did not dare move.

    Artemis had told her to stay absolutely still and not move a muscle, but was it really him who had sent her that? Could it be someone, or maybe something that had sent her the Gift? It was Halloween, after all…

    And I’ll just copy-edit the rest. It may change your plot a teensy bit.

    She ran for the door, hoping the stars were out, as they had always calmed her down. But as she ran out the ancient oak door, the first constellation she saw was Orion’s Belt.

    A horrible thought came to her. What had Foaly said about Artemis and someone called Orion? Something about Artemis being insane? Of course it was hard to understand what Foaly was saying, what with that reeking dwarf behind him making rude gestures at her.

    Maybe that was a dream – dreams seem real, don’t they?

    (Okay, it’s probably all the punctuation that makes it seem unreadable)

    The ‘Gift’ followed her her out of the house. It watched her curl up on the ground, and it felt the indecision of another.

    To save or not to save?

    Then, it felt the Master. It let out a small whimper, magnified in the autumn night. It could feel the anger, no, fury, of his Master.

    Best to get the job done, it reasoned.
    *

    No.1 stood shocked. He had heard some horrible stories about Artemis from Foaly, but he had thought that Artemis had changed.

    How wrong he was, No.1 realised. He must call Holly and face the consequences.

    He wouldn’t be able to live knowing the Mud Girl had died and he didn’t try to save her.

    *

    Holly woke to the sound of her ringing phone. Artemis had given her an updated version before he died. Now, she used it to contact No.1. She jumped out of bed and rushed to answer it – he must be in danger.

    “Hello?” She asked.

    “Hi, I’m in danger here could you come immediately?”

    No1 sounded so worried. The urgency in his voice was enough to speed up her heartbeat.

    “Sure,”she replied, trying not to show her fear. “I’ll tell Foaly – you never know when he will come in handy.”

    “Just come.”

    Then the call ended.

    *

    The ‘Gift’ felt the vibrations and decided it had better act quickly. Taking small steps, it advanced on the girl, ready for some dinner.

    It poised, waiting for the signal.

    It did not come.

    *

    Holly managed to get up to the surface in record time – but only because all sensible fairies were fast asleep. When she arrived she saw a girl curled up on the floor with a beast lumbering up to her. She was preparing to go into battle when No.1 appeared next to her.

    “Wait!” He hissed.

    ”Do you know what type of monster that is? You may defeat it, but it will just come back. The only way to win is to harm the master.”

    “How do you know that?” Asked Holly.

    “They used to live in Hybras but Qwan thought they had all died in the transition. Obviously, he was wrong.”

    “Ok, so where is the master?”

    A pause, as the little demon thought about his reply.

    “It’s Artemis.”

    “What? Don’t be stupid. Artemis is dead!”

    “We never saw the body – it looked like he died, but we don’t know for certain.”

    Holly felt like she had died and come back to life. It wasn’t possible. She brushed the feeling aside.

    “Who is that girl?” She asked.

    “You won’t believe me, but its Minerva.” No.1 replied.

    “Artemis trying to kill Minerva. Hmm, it kind of makes sense.”

    “But I thought Artemis was good.”

    Holly closed her eyes, shutting out all emotion.

    “Enough talking. We have to stop that thing.”

    Holly crept around the beast, tracking Artemis in her helmet. He was just standing there, staring. Maybe he couldn’t come to a decision.

    Out of the corner of her eye, Holly saw a flash of light. When she took a proper look she saw that Minerva had disappeared.

    The monster seemed confused. Then, the thing started creeping towards her, so she drew her buzz baton. The next things she was aware of was excruciating pain, and then, darkness.

    No.1 stared in horror. Surely Artemis hadn’t meant to do that?

    Maybe Holly was still alive. Then he felt it – the horrible feeling that every magical being feels when another is lost.

    He knew it was to late. He bolted away to Haven to tell the LEP.

    They must catch Fowl.

    *

    Artemis should have felt victorious. His plan had worked.

    Instead, all he felt was sadness.

    She was gone.

    The barricade between him and Minerva had gone, but it seemed like he wanted it back. The only thing to do now was to leave. The LEP will hate him, so he might as well join the dark side.

    *

    Commander Trouble Kelp couldn’t believe it.

    Captain Short and Artemis Fowl had disappeared. They had mindwiped Minerva Paradizo and the best demon warlock of the century, No.1, had gone mad. What in all of Haven had happened?

    Trouble didn’t believe in the supernatural, but it was Halloween after all…

    (So, does it seem better now?)

  7. Thanks and everything Iris_Cam, but I’ll keep it as it is, otherwise it wouldn’t be my story because you would have done the stucture. I prefer my writing style, even if it isn’t correct.

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