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A Simple Thought

Summary: A silly one-shot in which Artemis learns something...for once in his life. Set pre-Arctic Incident.

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A silly one-shot in which Artemis learns something…for once in his life. Set pre-Arctic Incident.

Artemis Fowl sat in a wooden chair opposite Dr. Po. Po had been attempting to psychoanalyze Artemis for the past twenty-four minutes, to no avail.

“Artemis.” Po finally spoke after a long period of silence. “A simple thought, on my part. It has come to my attention that you are not a normal boy.”

“Indeed,” muttered Artemis. “The one who calls me normal is the one I pity.”

Po ignored him and went on. “And you are using this…ahem…absence to your advantage. You are attempting to get out of your studies.”

Artemis chortled. “My dear Mister Po, I have no use for these studies. I had learned most of this work by the time I was four years old.”

Po was taken by surprise. The boy was either an expert liar or crazy. There was no way he could be telling the truth.

Po decided to humour him. “Nevertheless, my boy, you must try to learn. Why else would your mother send you here, if not to learn?”

“I have long pondered that myself, and have reached two theories.” Artemis leaned forward in his chair. “Do you care to hear them?”

“Why, y-yes,” Po stuttered. Anything to get something out of this child.

“My first theory is that my mother has tired of me, and has decided to be rid of me for a while whilst she rests and recuperates.” Artemis held up two fingers and then lowered one. “And secondly, I have come to the conclusion that Mother has, in her illness, forgotten that I am a genius and a prodigy.” Artemis lowered the second finger. “Those are the only possibilities.”

“Have you ever thought that maybe Angeline sent you here for your own good?” Po asked suddenly. Artemis was taken aback. “Why, no, doctor. Do explain.”

“Is it not probable that she recognized that you are lonely and sent you here so you could make friends?” Po stopped and allowed Artemis some time to analyze this new theory.

“Well…doctor…I never thought of it that way.” Artemis smiled and laced his fingers together, although lines of uneasiness were creasing his brow, and his deep eyes were heavy with doubt. “It simply isn’t possible.”

Artemis glanced at the clock. “I believe we are done here, Mister Po.” Artemis pushed himself up from the chair. “Don’t worry, I shall see myself out.”

As Artemis opened the door with his pianist’s fingers and made his way out, Po leaned back in his leather chair and chuckled with satisfaction. Even if Artemis hadn’t admitted it, they had gotten somewhere today.

Comments on This Post

16 responses to “A Simple Thought.” Join in!

  1. Silversong21 May 16th, 2010 at 5:21 pm 1

    I like it.

  2. lady phantomhive May 16th, 2010 at 6:47 pm 2

    awesome! you did excellently on this piece. i pride you on your writing abilities! 🙂

  3. That was quite interesting. I never actually thought of that idea… Good job, Docotr Po. And, OF COURSE, more than good job to you Ohan. This was utterly amazing. 🙂

    -Star

  4. Ohansahyosheli May 17th, 2010 at 1:24 am 4

    Thank you! *bow* I was bored, so I thought of the title, then I did the story. A work of thirty minutes. 😀

  5. Please update! This really is brilliant, Ohan.

  6. update please! it rox!

  7. Extremely good for 30 minutes. I’m impressed. 🙂

    -Star

  8. @lep officer: It’s a one-shot, and one-shots don’t get updates. (usually)

    -Star (Sorry for double-posting.)

  9. Hermione Fowl May 19th, 2010 at 7:49 am 9

    I think it’d be ruined if it was updated. It’s really good. =)=)=)

  10. that’s really good!

  11. Hmmm, I normaly don’t like this style, but THIS was BRILLIANT! And H Fowl’s right, it shouldn’t be updated.

  12. That was really good, but I think an update would ruin it. 🙂

  13. Yeah, I think you’re all right–an update would screw up this story. I made it just to be a one-shot. 😀

  14. I… I have NOT commented on this? Sheez. This is the kind of stuff I read over and over again, smile, chuckle, and berate the readers for writing such simple comments.

    Yes, Ohan, another work of epicness to add to your memorial of epicness. A oneshot of less than five hundred words, but still contains
    1) IC-ness
    2) Perfect grammar, punc, spelling, and caps
    3) Something that gets you thinking
    4) Superb writing style
    5) The quality of a fiver

    I personally think that you’ve abandoned us long since, due to your recent username change and, well, we haven’t heard from you since. Is something wrong with your commenting, internet, or is it just five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes spent on homework?

    Hope to see you around. That’s one less person to the site, and one less person whose writing is worth reading.

  15. December Holly February 4th, 2011 at 9:19 am 15

    This is very IC and excellently written. It makes a lot of sense, especially in context of the Arctic Incident.

    One point: I doubt that Artemis could have learned all that by the age of four. It’s a very minor thing but it takes away slightly from the story’s credibility, since Artemis would /have/ to be lying and Dr. Po is supposed to be able to detect that kind of thing.

    But I digress. I really like how you’ve expanded on the Dr. Po character and Artemis’ interactions with him. Thoroughly good work and very solid English. The title really adds to the story. I am truly amazed that you did this well with under 500 words!

    ~E.N.HA

  16. Thanks, everyone for you good reviews! @E.N.HA: I know…that was a slip. 🙁 But I like it the way it is, and I’m too lazy to edit it anyway. XD

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