Who Would You Rather Date…

Holly was visiting Fowl Manor. Angeline and Artemis Senior were in the Caribbean with the twins for two weeks, and Holly had finally managed to get a vacation and an aboveground visa.

In the week that Holly had been there, she and Juliet had become great friends. It was no wonder, since they had so much in common. The thing that surprised them both was a common love for Disney movies. They could even say the lines along with the characters or sing along with the songs. The Disney movies were the only “Mud Man movies” that Holly liked to watch. They were also the only children movies that Juliet liked to watch.

*******

Since Artemis had returned from Hybras, he and Butler had been talking a lot more. To Artemis, Butler was a brother, a mentor, and above all, a friend. They talked about many subjects, the People being their favorite, of course. A topic that hadn’t been discussed yet was young ladies. Butler was very keen on discussing this with his young charge, but he was too scared to bring it up. Artemis was the only person that could scare Butler.

One day when Holly and Juliet had gone to play tennis (Holly disguised as a human, of course), Butler decided to bring up the subject of girls carefully. “Have you seen the ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ movies, Artemis?” questioned Butler.

Artemis gave him an odd look. “Yes, Butler,” he said. “Holly and Juliet must have seen the first and second movies about a thousand times this week. They also dragged me to see the premier of ‘At Worlds End.”

Butler laughed nervously. How could he have forgotten? Then he said, “Elizabeth Swann and Will Turner make a good couple.” He was trying to sound casual.

“Yes…” replied Artemis suspiciously.

“But do you think Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth would have been a better couple?” pushed Butler.

“Butler, whatever it is you’re trying to say, spit it out for God’s sake,” said Artemis impatiently.

This was not quite going according to plan…

********

Juliet and Holly were driving back to Fowl Manor in Juliet’s red convertible. “Sooooo… Holly?” started Juliet.

“Hmm?”

“Who would you rather date, Mulch or Foaly?” questioned Juliet.

Holly looked horrified at the thought of dating either one of them. “Neither,” she answered quickly.

“You have to choose one,” insisted Juliet.

“Or what?” asked Holly stubbornly.

“Or else I won’t let you watch any more Disney movies with me,” threatened Juliet.

Holly’s eyes grew wide. “You wouldn’t.”

Juliet nodded solemnly. “I would.”

“Fine. Foaly,” said Holly with a shudder.

“Why?”

“Because Mulch smells. How about you? Same question,” challenged Holly.

“Mulch,” answered Juliet, also shuddering, “because he’s funny. Okay, who would you rather date: Mulch or Trouble?”

“Why do you insist on dragging my close friends into this?” wailed Holly.

Juliet shrugged.

“Fine,” Holly said. “Trouble, because we have more in common. How about you?”

“Trouble, because we have more in common,” repeated Juliet. She and Holly laughed. “Okay, whom would you rather date out of Foaly and Trouble?”

“Trouble, because Foaly is my last choice, following Mulch. You?”

“Trouble, because he’s more my type,” replied Juliet. “Okay, who would you rather date: Trouble or…” Juliet tried to think of someone else. Then her eyes widened as a new possibility struck her. “Trouble or Artemis?”

What could Holly say? Definitely not the truth. “Trouble,” Holly said, hoping Juliet wouldn’t detect the lie. Fortunately, Holly was spared “explaining why” by arriving at Fowl Manor.

Meanwhile…

Butler took a deep breath. “WhowouldyouratherdateJulietorMinerva?” asked Butler really fast. ‘Phew, that wasn’t so bad…’

“Pardon me? I didn’t quite catch that,” said Artemis with a raised eyebrow.

Butler sighed. ‘Never mind.’ “Who would you rather date: Juliet or Minerva?” Butler said, this time more slowly.

Artemis’s face reddened. “Oh,” he said. “Well, no offense, but, Minerva, because Juliet is like a sister to me.”

“Oh, good,” said Butler, positively relived at the thought. He had, after all, only put Juliet’s name in to start up the conversation. He was still protective of his baby sister and had hoped that Master Artemis didn’t fancy her. “Well, since you said that, there’s no point in asking you my second question so lets skip to the third and final. Who would you rather date, Minerva or Holly?”

Artemis paused and thought. What should he say? “Minerva,” he said at last. It was the biggest lie he had ever told in his life.

Just then, Holly and Juliet came through the front door. Of course, Artemis only saw Holly in her short green tennis outfit. They looked at each other and blushed, remembering the conversations they had just been holding.

The End

Rather immature, I know. But I thought it was a cute idea. Please review! This was originally published on 05-27-07

Some other stories by XxEviexX:

• Sunset
• Gone
• Fences
• Let the Flames Begin
• Misery Business