Trouble, on Holly and Artemis
Written on December 2nd, 2008 by VinyayaStory Details
Loading ...My Life, is MY LIFE,
It’s not yours,
I don’t care,
You wanna stare?
Hit the road jack,
‘N dun come back,
You can judge,
But I am Not listening,
Cos I got more important stuff on my mind,
See,
We’re so in love,
That you don’t even matter,
Cos it’s My Life,
Not your life,
It’s crazy man,
Cos its like,
When I’m around her,
I FORGET,
You even exist,
You’re not on this planet,
You’re DEAD,
To me,
And she agree’s,
Trouble n Holly sittin in a tree,
So don’t come trailing after me,
We’re Ying,
You’re Yang,
but
We don’t need you.
We’re just opposites.
You think that you and her could,
Get along?
Well,
Guess what mate.
YOU’RE WRONG.
This is a poem? About Trouble’s feelings on Artemis’s thing with Holly, he is very jealous, and he is in love with Holly.
December 2nd, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Okaay. But it’s ‘you’re wrong’ not your wrong. I don’t het why so many people get that wrong. It’s not even a typo. Other than that, great!!! It’s not often that people find Trouble and Artemis in love with Holly at the same time.
December 3rd, 2008 at 2:57 am
The idea of the poem itself was a bit “nahn”, but I like the yin yang preference, and the “hit the road jack” thing. I learned the song a few years back.
December 4th, 2008 at 12:50 am
I liked how the rhyming was very subtle, and it appeared at all the right places. But Trouble’s character? A bit gangster for my taste. I give you 3.9
April 4th, 2009 at 9:08 pm
I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!! MWAHHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! (yes im crazy)
July 16th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
This si awesome. I apploud you. The typos are everywhere, but they don’t take away from the story that much. Great concept and interesting poem style. Keep writing!!!
December 20th, 2009 at 1:42 am
Is good. Real good. =)
December 20th, 2009 at 3:58 am
Okay I can comment correctly now that I’m slightly more sane. Okay TWS is right about the typos but other than that this is really good!! I love it!