Time to Propose

Written on November 28th, 2007 by BlackOpal

Story Details

  • Status : Complete
  • Category: General and Angst
  • Author: BlackOpal
  • Word Count: 737
  • Read 218 times
  • 4 votes, average: 3.5 out of 54 votes, average: 3.5 out of 54 votes, average: 3.5 out of 54 votes, average: 3.5 out of 54 votes, average: 3.5 out of 5 (4 votes, average: 3.5 out of 5)
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A/N: Okay, this was a little drabble thing I wrote to get rid of a long bout of writer’s block. I reread it and realized that it was really cheesy, but constructive criticism is very welcome. And you can tell me that you think it is way too cheesy, I won’t get angry. Seriously, be harsh. I wrote it in a couple of minutes anyway.

Foaly was stunned. He couldn’t believe it, couldn’t accept it, couldn’t comprehend it.

Was this it? Was this the end of their adventures? They had been together for so long, fighting and refusing to admit defeat. They had gotten out of so many tough situations, they had achieved the impossible over and over again, never once stopping and questioning it. But now it was over and done with, and there wasn’t a thing he could do about it.

They could make it back, a voice in his head whispered. But Foaly neighed mournfully; he knew that the odds were astronomical. If they survived, and if they managed to get back onto earth instead of the moon, it would still be unlikely they’d reach the brief blip in time that they’d normally be alive for. It would be just like them to make it, just like them to see this through.

They were both so strong, Holly, with her stubborn pride, never admitting that she could be bested, and Artemis, cool and collected, an intellect to rival his own. It was hard to believe, that after all that they were gone in the blink of an eye. It seemed so simple, one minute they had a perfect plan, moving along smoothly, and the next they were finished, flying somewhere, lost in time.

Somewhere in the distance he heard the blip of an incoming call. As if in a trance he made his way towards the receiver and picked it up. It was Caballine. She wanted to know if dinner plans were on for that night. He reached in his lab coat pocket and fingered the ring that lay in there. He felt the diamond’s cold, hard surface, feeling its sharp edges dig gently into his skin. He slipped his pinky finger in through the loop, twirling the malleable gold around with his thumb. He numbly answered her, agreeing to meet at 6.

Caballine asked what was wrong, and Foaly wanted to lie, wanted to tell her that nothing was wrong, that everything was fine, and that he loved her and he’d see her tonight, but it seemed much too hard. His heart ached, and he simply couldn’t stand the pain.

“All of it’s over,” he said, and left it at that. He hung up and put his head in his hands, pulling on fistfuls of his long mane. Tonight was going to be good, special, perfect even, but now…

Then something inside of him snapped. It wasn’t that Foaly didn’t have self-pity, on-contraire, he had plenty, but for some reason in this situation it didn’t seem appropriate to be feeling sorry for himself. He had a beautiful girlfriend and a perfect job; it wasn’t like he was completely helpless.

Surveillance, that’s what we need, Foaly’s fingers flew across the keyboard as he performed equation after equation. He sighed with relief, this was what he was used to, he could help. He worked for hours, dividing, subtraction, graphing, and at last he slumped down on his chair, he was finished.

If they end up anywhere they’ll end up here, he thought. Foaly smiled, the pain was still there, but lesser then before. He had done something. And if Foaly had anything to say about it (and he did) half of this year’s budget, and next year’s, and the year after that’s, would be used to watch for any sign of a vent in time.

He glanced at the clock, and whinnied in fright. He was late, and it was time to propose!

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11 Reviews for “Time to Propose”

  1. mahi101 AF Fan Says:

    * FCD* *FCJ* Okay , I did like it , it wasn’t realllllyyyyyyy cheasy,…… actully , I think this is how Foaly feels after arty and Holly go to Hybras ans will come back later … though I think that Foaly would more likely search the whole planet and be making gadgets to trace them morn but the story was still of course good.

  2. Olive Says:

    I didn’t think it was majorly cheesy. It was very well written and really sounded like Foaly.

  3. Unappreciated genius Says:

    I like this, the only thing is- ( and im being seriouse here) how does a centuar wear pants?

  4. BlackOpal Says:

    The pocket’s in his lab coat… I think I say that.
    I have to grammar check this too, so if any of you guys see mistakes just point them out so I can fix it.

  5. Jelly Says:

    I liked it! :lol: I don’t think it was very cheesy either! then again what is cheesy…. Good job anyway!

  6. MMK Says:

    I liked it. It may be my least favorite thing you’ve written, but given that you’re one of my favorite authors, that’s not saying much. I do think that you overromanticized Foaly, but it’s a nice little fic anyway.

  7. arty_and_holly_4ever Says:

    I really liked it, it was pretty nice.

  8. Star Jinin Says:

    It was not that cheesey, but I still thought the “Time to Propose” thing was a little off-hand.

  9. 017350 Says:

    Continue soon…. I like it. It’s good. :)

  10. therealanswer Says:

    not your best but it didn’t suck too bad.

    w/e it takes to get over writers block

  11. computerzandbks4ever Says:

    keep going with this

    its great cuz u can make callabine’s(or hower you spell it) personality for yourself

    great job!

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