The Portal Through the Oven

Summary: At last, at long last, the staircase was clean. It was amazing, a miracle, and just as Natassia and Artemis […]

Chapters: 1 2

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At last, at long last, the staircase was clean. It was amazing, a miracle, and just as Natassia and Artemis had raised their heads as Miss Live walked up the stairs. In her mud covered high heels. She turned around and gasped. “Natassia! You are so lazy, you brat! I’ve been nothing but nice to you and I ask you to do one chore and you ignore it!”

“It was you and your muddy high heels,” Artemis whispered.

“Excuse me? What did you say?” Miss Live demanded of him, walking down the stairs.

“Artemis, don’t.” Natassia told him. “He said nothing Miss. Live. I await my punishment.” Miss Live needed no more. She grabbed Natassia ear and threw her in the oven. Not heated but she was in there none the less.

 

Chapters: 1 2

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2 responses to “The Portal Through the Oven.” Join in!

  1. TITLES

    In titles, the first and last words are always capitalized. Nouns, pronouns, adjectives, adverbs, conjunctions and prepositions over four letters long, interjections, and verbs (including helping verbs) are capitalized. The pronoun ‘I’ is capitalized.

    CAPITALS

    Capitalize at the beginning of a sentence. The first letter of a name is also capitalized. Last names are capitalized. Proper nouns are capitalized. Titles (King George III, President Barack Obama) are capitalized. The pronoun “I” is capitalized.

    THAT ANNOYING THING

    You shouldn’t start a new paragraph without finishing your previous sentence unless you had used an ellipse, which actually counts as completing the sentence.

    “She stood up in her patched blue dress. The dress was once blue but turn gray after so many washes.” — not fluent. Try phrasing it differently. Don’t mention that she stands up and what’s she’s wearing in the same sentence, unless you want to try, “She stood up, dusting off her patched blue dress.” It’s better to have two states of being or two actions as the verbs than to have one of each. (Is this making sense?)

    THAT REALLY ANNOYING THING
    When someone is speaking/addressing someone else and they say their name to confirm who their message is being delivered to, that person’s name — the receiver’s name – IS SURROUNDED BY COMMAS. It just is. I’m not quite sure why; it probably has to do with some complicated grammar rule or other about indirect or direct subjects or – blah! *throws hands up in air* I don’t know. Just follow it.

    CLAUSES

    An independent clause has a subject and a predicate and can stand alone. The simple subject and predicate, otherwise referred to as the noun or pronoun and verb in the sentence, can be stripped out. If you can’t, then you’re doing it wrong.

    A dependent clause has a subject and a predicate, but begins with either a conjunction (subordinating or coordinating) or a relative pronoun, which renders it a fragment. It is not a complete sentence. It cannot stand alone.

    A phrase lacks a subject, a predicate, or both.

    Sentences can contain independent clauses, dependent clauses, and phrases, but it must always contain one independent clause. There is only ever more than one independent clause in a sentence when they are separated by a semicolon, a colon, or a hyphen. If they are not separated by a semicolon, then it is rendered a run-on sentence. Run-ons can be fixed in four ways – they can be separated by a semicolon if the independent clauses are VERY CLOSELY RELATED, they can be connected with a subordinating or coordinating conjunction, or you could go old-school and put a period between them. Simple as that.

    VERB AGREEMENT

    Verbs must agree to other verbs in the fic. I’m not saying that if your first verb is in past tense, then every other verb must be past tense. Only consider the simple predicate in the sentence (ignore helping verbs as well). Stories tend to be in past tense because one usually tells them after they have happened. If one is going for a more poetic and simplistic sort of feel, they might use present tense. No matter what, all of the predicates in all of the sentences must agree to each other.

    “She took the now gray sheets from the closet and make his bed.” Compare “took” and “make”. “Took” is in past tense. “Make” is in present tense.

    QUOTATIONS

    The first word in a quotation is capitalized. All quotations must end in some sort of punctuation. This includes commas, periods, question marks, and exclamation points. If the quotation is a full sentence and you do not want to add a tag to the end, end with a period. Ex:

    “Hello, Bob.”

    If you want to add a tag, end the quotation with a comma. The tag is not capitalized unless it is a name.

    “Hello, George,” Bob replied.
    “It’s nice outside,” he said.

    Question marks and exclamation points work the same way.

    “Look at that!” the boy shouted.
    “Where are you?” he asked.

    If you want another sentence after the quotation has ended, but the sentence is not a tag, end the quotation with a period and start the sentence like you normally would (with a capital, of course).

    “It’s so pretty.” He grinned and stared up at the sky.

    A tag before a quotation is capitalized. The first word in that quotation will be capitalized.

    Bob said, “Don’t do that.”

    When handling tags that interrupt quotations, the quotation ends with a comma and the tag does, too. The next word in the quotation is NOT capitalized.

    “Wait,” he said, “what’s that?”

    As you can see, it could also be rephrased as:

    “Wait, what’s that?” he said.

    IN GENERAL

    The whole thing is in bold. I don’t know why and I don’t necessarily blame you. My computer spazzes, too.

    Random typos here and there; they make this harder to read.

    Short. Needs more. (Update.)

    Fairly interesting.

    … *trails off awkwardly*

  2. Hmmm… first commentor in over a year. I had seen this fic several times, but I tend to judge fics in here from their names, so I only read it now. It’s very short and WE left NOTHING to critique. I only commented because when I posted my first fic, only three seperate people have commented, even though it says 13 comments. I figured it would be nice to see another comment.

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