The Corporal and the Frog

Summary: The princess and the frog, Artemis Fowl style, starring Chix Verbil and Lili Frond at her not-so-brightest.

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I went and read all the rules, so here’s my warning on a bit of slight language. Basically it’s a slightly more explicit form of saying someone is ticked off. Nothing major.

The artificial sun outside was dim, and the long, decorated windows lining her room were covered by their lacy curtains. The top of her head was just barely visible over the covers, a mop of straw-yellow in the darkness. Her breathing was deep and even, and as Haven city shut down for the night outside, she slept in her room, innocent in her dormant state.

And then, breaking the silence, a knock- if you could call it a knock at all. Really, it was more of a wet splat, the sound of something damp slapping against one of the windowpanes. The elf dreamt on, unaware of the strange visitor that wanted her attention.

The night was silent for a few moments more, her breath the only sound even barely audible. The peaceful silence cradled her sleeping form, and she gave a sigh in her sleep, dreaming of who knows what happy thing. And again, cutting through the quiet once again, the knock at her window, this time exponentially louder. When no immediate response came yet again, it was repeated, persistant and frantic.

Finally, she stirred, poking her head out of her bundle of blankets and blinking tired eyes to clear them of sleep and adjust to the light. The knock came again, this time accompanied by an impatient grunt. Her eyes grew wide, and she slid carefully out of bed, padding across the carpet to the window in question and raising the curtain. Her curious gaze was met by that of a very irritated frog.

She felt her jaw go slack, possibly at the fact that there was a large, rather fat frog perched confidently on her windowsill, or more probably because of its blatant show of emotion and purpose. She hadn’t been aware thus far that amphibians were capable of being pissed off, but this one was certainly proving it was possible. As if proving her point, the frog slapped one slimey hand against the glass, as if demanding to be let in. Still confused, but never one to leave an animal behind, she reached out and slid the lock out of its tumbler, moving the layer of glass out of the way. The frog immediately hopped inside, placing itself on top of her chest of drawers. And then, it did something that utterly blew the already floored elf off her feet. It opened its wide mouth… and spoke.

“Hey.”

She sqeaked and took a hasty step back, wide eyes regarding the frog apprehensively. Surely, she had misheard. Obviously, this was only her misinterpretation of the traditional “ribbit” sound. Her ears must not have quite adjusted to being awake yet.

“I said, ‘hey,’ Corporal, are you just planning on standing there gawking?”

She gasped and let out a faint sound of terror, flattening herself against the opposite wall. Here was a frog, in her room in the middle of the night, trying to start a conversation with her. She briefly wondered if the gift of tongues suddenly worked on frogs, but she couldn’t recall ever understanding the creatures before. Frogs were among the world’s creatures that simply said nothing even close to relevent enough that translating their speech would be of any value, and so the People had never put any effort into the act. Was this some kind of joke? A new breed of swear toad, perhaps?

The frog sighed heavily, once again defying her expectations.

“Listen,” he croaked, sounding tired, “I can explain this.”

Lili was silent, pressed stock still against the expensive wallpaper. The frog seemed to take this as a sign that he had permission to continue.

“See,” he said, suddenly sounding a bit awkward, “I was, er… messing around with some of Foaly’s stuff while he wasn’t in his office…”

She blinked. Foaly’s office? This frog had been in Police Plaza? Worse, he had managed to force entrance into the Ops Booth! This frog was obviously working for someone, and she had to find out who. If he was allowed to escape, the LEP might have a powerful and slimey new enemy…

Said potential enemy seemed to register the odd gleam in her eyes, and sighed again, shaking his head.

“It’s not what you’re thinking,” he explained slowly, “One of those fancy new gadget-y thingies on his desk turned on when I touched it, and it… well, it turned me into…”

Lili nodded, hanging on every word. Foaly had been working on some shape-shifting inventions, perhaps one of them had affected this poor frog in some way. His bulbous eyes looked expectantly up at her, and he continued when he saw that she didn’t understand.

“A frog,” he said flatly. “It turned me into a frog, Lili.”

The elf stepped forward off the wall and flipped her hair haughtily. He said that as if it was obvious, or something. How was she supposed to know it had turned him into a frog? She said nothing, so he forged on, resting his green head on one webbed hand.

“I’m really Chix Verbil,” he said miserably, eyeing her hopefully. “That stupid horse turned me into a frog, and now I can’t change back.”

Lili covered her mouth with both delicate hands, her green eyes wide with shock and pity. So, it was Captain Verbil! Some strange force had changed her friend into a frog, and now he was stuck! She dropped her hands and furrowed her brow in vigorous thought. There had to be some way to help him. She thought back to the Mudman legends she had heard as a child, about a princess and a frog, and about Foaly’s sick sense of humor, and an idea began to take shape in her head…

Chix-frog jumped as she triumphantly snapped her fingers and hopped up and down in excitement. She knew exactly what to do.

“I think,” she announced importantly, causing Chix-frog’s eyes to light up, “that you should ask Foaly what to do.”

Chix sat dumbfounded on her chest of drawers, regarding her as if she was a complete idiot. She would have been offended if her mind hadn’t been busy with her pride over her brilliant idea.

“Forget it,” he said incredulously. He made his way back over to the still-open window and readied himself to hope out. At the last second, he turned around and addressed Lili again, temporarily breaking her out of her self-absorbtion. “You have any idea where Holly Short lives?”

Comments on This Post

8 responses to “The Corporal and the Frog.” Join in!

  1. Aw…I was totally expecting this to be about Holly and the infamous rump-bite incident. Cute, though.

  2. …….You just gave me an idea.
    I think I may continue this… *evil laugh*

  3. Ehehehe… What Kitsune-san said.

    Also, Lili’s blonde, so the mop of red hair made me think it was Holly at first and you still had a plan for the rump-bite incident. Sorry, it’s just little things like that that drive me psycho. 👿

  4. Oh really? Sorry. I’ve read so many fics and seen so many pictures of her with red hair that I wasn’t sure anymore… I’ll change it.

  5. Kierisa Zwölf November 14th, 2009 at 4:22 pm 6

    This frog was obviously working for someone, and she had to find out who. If he was allowed to escape, the LEP might have a powerful and slimey new enemy…

    Oh that cracked me up! I really like this story because its funny without being just random, and I love the ending! “any idea where I can find Holly” HAHAHAHAHA! Good job!

  6. I thought the frog came for Holly and just wanted to chitchat . . . Because things like that just HAPPEN (somehow) to Holly . . .

    Either way, absolutely hilarious. I love the ending 😉

    But . . . . seriously, what the heck is Chix going to do?

  7. HEHhhh… That’s all I can say. It’s just funny.

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