I know this isn’t my best Fanfic, but bear with me! I’m in a creative rut. It’s shorter than the first part. A third part will come shortly. “Minerva, I think Persephone needs to learn how to swim.” said Artemis.

Minerva was bemused. “But Arty, you don’t even know how to swim!”

He blushed. “That’s not the point. Don’t you think we need a pool? If we had an Olympic-sized swimming pool, then we could get Persephone private lessons. ”

“Artemis, we don’t need a pool, let alone an Olympic-sized one! If Persephone needs lessons, she can take them down at the country club.”

“The country club? That’s for commoners!”

“Arty, listen to me. We are not getting a swimming pool, and that’s final.”

“Yes, dear.”

Holly stood on the front doorstep, this time disguised as a middle-aged, balding man. On the lapel of her jumpsuit, she wore a nametag, Leslie. On the opposite side, there was a red patch, reading “Leslie’s Pool Service and Installment.”

She rang the doorbell, and Minerva answered. “Yes?” she said hesitantly.

“Yeah, I’m from Leslie’s Pool Service. Here to install an Olympic-sized swimmin’ pool. What are you people gonna do with a pool that big? Water a herd of elephants?” She chuckled at her own joke.

Minerva looked confused. “But we didn’t order a pool!”

“This the Fowl residence?”

“Yes…”

“Well, I’ve got the signature of one… Artemis Fowl ’da Second here.” Holly showed her the clipboard.

Minerva looked irate. “I’m sorry for your time sir, but we don’t want an Olympic sized swimming pool.”

She closed the door in Holly’s face. Excellent, she thought.

Minerva slammed the door and stormed over to her husband. “Artemis Fowl, I told you that we weren’t getting a pool!”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play the innocent with me! A man just came from Leslie’s pool service and told me he was here to install an Olympic swimming pool!”

“Seriously, he must have made a mistake!”

“The man had your signature on an order sheet! I don’t think there are too many Artemis Fowls out there.”

“But I never ordered one!”

“Yeah, like you never took our daughter to see strippers! Artemis, what am I going to do with you?”

A few hours later, Holly got a call on her fairy communicator. It was Minerva.

Her tearful face appeared on the monitor. “Hi Minerva! What’s wrong?” asked Holly innocently, as if she didn’t know what was wrong.

“Holly, it’s Artemis! He’s been acting so strange lately. First, he took Persephone to see strippers with him, then he ordered an Olympic-sized swimming pool when I told him not to. What should I do?”

“Well, I’m not an expert, but maybe you should see a marriage counselor? I mean, it’s not as if I want you to break up.”

“A marriage counselor? Okay, I suppose it’s worth the try.”

Holly closed the handheld device and grinned evilly. Yet another opportunity to test Foaly’s DNA device.

The next day, a flyer came in the Fowl’s mailbox. It was emerald green. It said -

Is your marriage suffering? Are there problems that you can’t fix on your own?

Let Dr. Faire E. Copp, (Fairy Cop, for those of you who didn’t get it)marriage counselor, straighten out those kinks in your relationship!

265-GETHELP

Walk-ins welcome!

On the corner of Dawes and Dauphin. Mon.-Fri., 8 am- 5 pm.

I’m sorry! Yes, I know that was bad. The next part will be longer, and hopefully, better and funnier.  

 

 

Some other stories by 1crazyhollyfan:

• Shifting Sands
• Still here.
• Heaven at Christmas
• "Foaly's Visit" announcement
• The Long Awaited Part 3 of The Breakup!