The 14 Drabbles
Written on March 19th, 2008 by BlackOpalStory Details
(7 votes, average: 3.86 out of 5)
Loading ...This is completely unorganized now.
Oh well.
***
Forgiveness
She can’t tell if she is flying or falling.
Maybe she shouldn’t have let go.
She can’t tell if she is in control.
The ground prepares to greet her with a well-meaning embrace.
She can’t tell if she is afraid.
It rushes to greet her.
She can’t breathe.
The wind swoops into her lungs.
She can’t even scream.
Maybe it is a little pretty.
She can’t remember if she’s felt this way before.
Maybe this is her Circe.
She can’t really know.
Maybe this is her Athena.
She can’t decide.
Maybe she should have let go long before now.
***
I really need crit on this.
I might rewrite it.
Depends if I think that I can do better.
Some other stories by BlackOpal:
- A Cracked Mirror
- Fairy Tales
- The Elephant
- Spectator Sport (Warning: TTP Spoilers!)
- Announcement Regarding Spelling and Grammar
March 20th, 2008 at 2:15 am
I really like this. No critizism, none at all.
. So, we’re supposed to guess the characters though …? I don’t quite understand …?
March 20th, 2008 at 2:19 am
I was just wondering if you knew which character went with each drabble.
Thanks.
April 1st, 2008 at 1:25 am
I’m glad you added Chastity. I think that’s my favorite, tied with Diligence (of course, they’re all good).
Who I think they are:
Chastity is Minerva, and so is humility? I know you ship A/H, so it seems likely. Although I don’t understand the line about pie. Superbia is probably Foaly, but maybe Artemis. Diligence could be Opal, except it talks about an actual job. So I don’t know. Acedia is Angeline, insane. And Gula (never heard that term before- greed/avarice, I assume) is Artemis Fowl Sr.
Will you tell us at some point? Or are we meant just to ponder?
April 1st, 2008 at 2:43 am
The lihne about pie was random.
Humble pie, I think I was thinking.
I can’t even remember.
I guess that I can tell you.
Chastity and Humility are Minerva.
Superbia is Foaly.
Diligence is Ark Sool.
Acedia is Angeline and Gula is Artemis Fowl Sr.
You got more right than anybody (of course).
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:46 am
I’m not sure I really like it, but you have lots of vivid verbs and describing words. It makes it really interesting to read. Good Job!
~Minerva Paradizo~
April 3rd, 2008 at 2:16 am
Hmmm…is Temperance Butler?
April 3rd, 2008 at 3:20 am
I like it, especially the last one, i think its my favorite
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:14 pm
Yes, Temperance is Butler.
Glad you got that one.
April 4th, 2008 at 3:56 am
I’m sorry to say I don’t understand the newest one at all. I think I get the concept, but I haven’t the slightest inkling who it’s about or what it’s referring too. Maybe I’m just being slow, it’s sort of late.
It is very pretty, though.
April 4th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
It’s supposed to be about Holly’s forgiveness of Artemis. It’s about her having to let go of her pride and her façade, etc.
With hints of AH of course.
That really isn’t clear. There’s no way to know that it’s about Holly.
I might rewrite/change it.
April 10th, 2008 at 4:47 am
Yeah. It took me a while to guess and I almost settled for Minerva. This is a great drabble though! The ratings should definally be higher. A 4.3 at the absolute least…that’s what I love most about your writing. Your words describe the chrachters’ feelings so well…even if they can be a little vauge sometimes.
August 2nd, 2008 at 9:38 pm
well 3 and 4 are obviosly holly and opal