PG-13 for language. You’ve been warned.
Quick note: A week before this video was posted, Artemis Fowl II had the brilliant idea of using the hideout of R. Short and F. Millinium as a lab. It didn’t end well. Now Artemis is stuck boarding two American teenaged girls because he was an idiot. And now, we introduce you to Short’s Short Vlogs!
“..is it on?”
“How in the name of Skibble am I supposed to know?”
“….Hey Artemis! Get your genius ass over here!”
“What did you do this time?”
“She broke the cam.”
“I did not, Falcon. I just can’t figure out how the hell you make it- Oh! I think it’s working now!”
“Wonderful. Excuse me, I need to make sure my siblings haven’t wrecked the foyer…”
The picture was blurry at first, but soon came into focus. Sitting in front of a light-colored wall was a young girl with messy brown hair with tips that were dyed blue, purple, green, and red. She adjusted her red-framed glasses as two small canine ears twitched on the top of her head.
“..are you going to sit there and fix your makeup next?”
The girl glared at someone off screen, “Watch it, Fal. I was going to do the intro. Now calm yo’ tits.” She looked back at the camera with a grin, similar to that of a dog’s. “Hello everyone, and welcome to Short’s Short Vlogs! I’m your host, Short!”
“…did you just doggie grin?”
“No, now hush.” Her bright blue-green eyes glared at the off-screen person once more before turning back to the cam. “This is our first vlog, so I’m freaking out a little! Hey, Fal, come on cam!”
Short clapped her hands together before going off-screen for a moment. She came back with a taller girl, who sported long gold hair and a light blue budgie on her shoulder. She looked extremely unamused.
The dog girl grinned, “Viewers, this is my co-host and sidekick! Falcon!”
“Hey, wait, how am I your sidekick?”
“…I’m going to go bother Arty.” Glare of One Thousand Daggers.
“You do that.” Defensive hand motions.
Falcon stood and walked off screen. The little blue bird on her shoulder took off, freaking out Short before neatly landing back on Falcon’s shoulder. Short flipped off Skibble before straightening her glasses and turning back to the camera. “Sorry for that.. Anyway, the main reason for this vlog is to monitor our stay at the Fowl Manor, and to also tell you guys what’s going on with the world over here. There may be an occasional rant video, but mostly little videos where we check in. We’re also gonna have guest stars, so look forward to that!” She leaned back in the chair she was sitting in. There was a loud crash coming from another part of the home, and the girl fell back, the only things on camera were her stockinged feet. Someone was heard entering the room.
“..did you fall out of your chair?”
“No, Boy Genius, I’m just napping down here!” The sarcasm was so thick you could almost taste it.
Artemis Fowl appeared on camera. Somewhere, probably very far away, there were multiple fangirls swooning. He looked down at Short, then to the camera. “I’m just going to end it for you, you’re a bit occupied.” He sighed, scratched the back of his head, then causally looked into the camera. Insert more swooning fangirls here.
“This has been Short’s Short Vlogs, brought to you by an idiot dog girl, a sadistic hawk lover, and me, boy genius, Artemis Fowl.” Short scrambled to her feet to join him. Falcon suddenly appeared in the background. In unison, the three teens ended the video with, “Good night Fanfiction, we love you!”
After the video ended, Short collapsed to the floor again. Fal gave Artemis her signature Glare of One Thousand Daggers, “I like falcons, not hawks, you blockhead.”
“..don’t mind me.. Just checking out the ceiling..”
Ok, that was actually fun to type.
Thank You time!
1. Colfer for letting me drag Arty into this without written consent
2. Falcon, and her budgie who seems to hate me, Skibble.
3. You guys for putting up with my bullsh*t ;w;
4. My dad, for creating an awesome music playlist- OMG FAAAAL YOU’RE GONNA GO FAR KID JUST CAME ON AAAA
5. My natural clumsiness that makes me famous for falling out of chairs and trees.
Also, this has a plot, just watch before you call in the bombers!
You know how to contact me: firstname.lastname@example.org