Artemis awoke groggily. He had never experienced memory loss in the past, except of course his mind-wipe, but he had very little recollection of the previous evening. All he could remember was that it had been his eighteenth birthday party, and he had spent most of it trying alcohol. He had been persuaded by Holly and Foaly to drink a pint of vodka in a single gulp, despite Butler’s paranoia. Now he was paying for it severely; he felt as though several of his brain cells had been damaged - his IQ would have dropped by a few points, although he could regain them with a little studying later on that day. For now, he had settled for turning over and going back to sleep.

 As he rolled over, he was met by a sight that confused him for a few moments; some kind of orange furry thing, with a nut-brown coloured pointy thing sticking up from the upward side. As he regained control of his brain, he thought: not orange, auburn. Oh dear. His eyes rolled further down and encountered shoulders, seen from the back. This was not looking positive. Finally, he decided on what must have occured. He and Holly had become intoxicated at the party, and this was where they were now. Artemis steeled himself and took a look. He offered up a small prayer when he saw that Holly was still wearing her underclothes. He decided to get up, when Butler nudged the door open with hsi shoulder, entering the room. Artemis had only a few seconds to act, so he manoeuvered himself to block Holly’s head from sight, and sat up in a way that he hoped looked like he had just woken up with a hangover.

“Good morning, Artemis,” greeted Butler. “Bad night?”

“You have no idea”

“You haven’t seen Captain Short around, have you?”

“No, I’ve only just awoken” lied Artemis perfectly. “If i see her i’ll tell her you were looking for her”

Butler seemed a little troubled. “Well, okay, Artemis. It’s just lucky that Mr. and Mrs. Fowl are still holidaying in Spain, because we have a hung-over centaur and dwarf in the kitchen drinking coffee. Breakfast is on the way.”

As the manservant left the room, Artemis let out a breath he had been holding, and moved to get up. As he did so, he heard Holly sigh in her sleep and turn over; he froze, in case she was about to wake up. Luckily, she remained asleep. He quickly left the room, after carefully placing Holly’s clothes in a neat pile by the bed.

Some time later, Holly awoke. The first thing she noticed was a terrible headache - she would have to perform the ritual to cure it. She sat up, and saw that she was in unfamiliar surroudings. Her clothes were folded by the side of the bed, with a note in Gnommish on the top of them. Only Artemis could write Gnommish so neatly.

Holly. We should talk. Breakfast is downstairs. Artemis.

She shook her head, and dressed. This wasn’t as difficult as it may have been, because she didn’t put on her formal dress. Instead she dressed quickly in a t-shirt Artemis had abandoned when he was seven, and a pair of shorts that reached her feet. Instead of her heeled shoes she stuck an old pair of Artemis’s trainers on - never worn, human size 5 from when he was younger but she still had to pull the laces tight to stop them falling off. She packed her dress and shoes into a carrier bag, and left the room. As she went to leave, she noticed one thing strange - this wasn’t the spare room. The name plate on the door read: Master Artemis Fowl Jnr. She shook her head once again, and descended the stairs.

Foaly and Mulch were sat in the kitchen, nursing cups of coffee. She greeted them with a nod, which they returned, and she left through the back door. Taking the acorn from its string around her neck, she thrust it into the ground. It wasn’t at a full moon, nor was it beneath an oak tree at a bend in a river, but it gave her enough to eradicate the headache, with enough spare to cure Artemis’s, Foaly’s and Mulch’s. She re-entered the kitchen with renewed vigour, slapping her hands onto Foaly’s and Mulch’s temples. They perked up straight away, their hangovers gone. Foaly left the room to call Caballine, and Mulch went outside to have breakfast - he had smelled a rich vein of clay beneath the gardens.

Holly found Artemis in his study, sat in a large leather office chair and holding a rubix cube. As she watched, he solved it with four movements and placed it down.

“Ah, good morning, Holly. I trust you slept well?”

“You know the answer to that, Artemis. We both got absolutely wasted last night. It’s a miracle nothing happened, what with you still being a pubescent volcano.”

Something about the way Artemis looked at her made her jaw drop and her heart sink.

“We didn’t, did we? Oh gods…”

“Thankfully not, Captain. I would have thought that you would have realised that, since you awoke at least partially clothed.”

Holly’s face contorted, and she felt like retching. Artemis… the pale, vampiric mud-boy… had seen her… well, not naked but not far off. She had certain feelings for Artemis, it was true, but she would never…the very idea was preposterous. Not because Artemis was gaunt and vampiric (in fact he had gained a light tan from the sun and was now actually known to go for walks and even runs through the parks in Dublin) but because she was a fairy and he was a human.

They both spoke at the same moment.

“Promise me you’ll never get drunk again!”

They looked at each other, confused, and Artemis spoke.

“I propose a mind-wipe.”

Holly was unsure. “Your IQ could take a dip. Besides, I think we should remember.”

Artemis looked at her as though she had just suggested that they should run off into the sunset hand in hand.

“To avoid this happening again” she added hastily. Artemis nodded, and turned back to his desk.

“Very well. I consider the matter closed. Don’t let me detain you” he said, back to his normal businesslike way. Holly rolled her eyes, and went to leave. She hesitated.

“Artemis?”

Artemis did not look up; he was trying to forget the events of the previous evening. He glanced up when Holly moved next to the bench. He was playing a game of chess against himself. Holly lent down and kissed him, once, on the lips. As he sat, appreciating her presence, he noticed her move the opposing queen into contact with his.

She broke away, remaining inches from his face.

“Checkmate, Artemis fowl…” she said quietly, and left the room.

Artemis had effectively beaten himself at chess. He coughed and straightened his lapels, turning back to his computer.

Some other stories by LEP-recon124:

• Open war
• Power of the Ancients
• Alliance
• LEP-centurion001 part two
• Pariah (a dreams and nightmares spin-off)