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My First Pimple

Summary: Warning – This is a slash story. Don’t read if you don’t like that kind of stuff. Also my other […]

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Warning – This is a slash story. Don’t read if you don’t like that kind of stuff. Also my other story A Love Story Or Not has been updated, if you’re interested.
I stared at the mirror in shock. A pimple? On me? Impossible. I’m a genius. I know how to avoid pimples. I’d exfoliated and properly washed my face the night before. Yet there it was. A big, red, ugly thing on my right cheek. There had to be some way to hide it. I couldn’t let Butler see it, it was so ugly. Lately I’d been strangely nervous around Butler. I worried about how I looked around him, whether he noticed if I looked nice in what I was wearing. I’d recently spent half an hour of my valuable time wondering if he thought I was attractive.

I moaned slightly at my reflection. The pimple looked disgusting and silly. Butler would be checking up on me any minute now, making sure assassins hadn’t killed me while I slept. He liked to keep to schedule so I knew I only had around five minutes left to find a solution.

I dropped to my knees and opened the doors to the bathroom cupboard then began searching around; leaving a mess everywhere I looked. The more I looked the more desperate I became. I couldn’t find anything. Shaving foam? No, the pimple wasn’t in the right area. It would look ridiculous to shave that high up. Band-Aid? No, Butler would insist on checking the wound for any sign of infection. My mother owned make up but that was all in her bathroom at the other end of the hallway.

I stopped my frantic searching. I could hear Butler’s footsteps; he was walking down the hall to my room. In my panic I didn’t think. I ran out of my bathroom to my bedroom door, slammed it shut, and then locked it. I heard Butler’s pace quicken. He’d heard me slam the door. I could’ve killed myself, why was I acting so stupid? I was acting like a teenager with a crush. I was better than that, smarter than that.

“Artemis,” Butler said, “Open the door!”

“Calm yourself Butler,” I said. “There’s no reason to panic. Everything is fine.”

“Then why won’t you open the door?” Butler asked.

“I need some time to myself,” I said. “Nothing more than that.”

“If that were true you wouldn’t of slammed the door,” Butler said. “You never slam doors. Now open the door or I’ll knock it down.”

I sighed. I know Butler’s my bodyguard but does he have to be so overprotective.

“Fine,” I said, “I’ll open the door.” I felt like cursing at him but I try not to use vulgar language.

As Butler entered the room I turned away and refused to look at him.

“Thank you for unlocking the door,” he said. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes,” I said, my voice sarcastic, “Everything’s perfect. Absolutely fine and dandy. Now go away.”

He didn’t believe me. I wonder why.

“Artemis, look at me,” he said gently. “What’s wrong?”

He put a hand on my shoulder and turned me around to face him. I closed my eyes as one of his huge hands reached out to touch my cheek where the pimple was.

“A pimple,” he said. He sounded surprised, and then he chuckled. “All this over a pimple.”

I felt my face heat up. I turned away from Butler, disgusted with emotions. Butler was laughing at me. For some reason his laughter hurt more than any physical pain. I couldn’t quite comprehend it. I’d never felt this humiliated before.

Butler must have noticed the look on my face. “Hey,” he said, “Don’t worry. Pimples are natural. You should know that.”

“I do know that,” I said, “But I look ridiculous.”

“No you don’t,” Butler said, “You look good. You always look good.”

“You think I look good,” I said.

“Of course,” Butler said. He smiled reassuringly at me.

“Well,” I said, “I think you’re very attractive.”

“Oh, uh, thanks,” Butler said. “I’d better go now, I have work to do.” He started to make his way to the door.

“Butler, wait,” I said. He turned to me and before he could say anything I kissed him. After a small moment of hesitation Butler wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer, deepening our kiss. Eventually we pulled apart from each other and I smiled at Butler.

“It seems this puberty thing isn’t so bad after all,” I said.

“I couldn’t agree with you more,” Butler said.

Comments on This Post

30 responses to “My First Pimple.” Join in!

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    ARTY HAS A PIMPLE
    HAHAHAHaHAHAHA
    (good thing Butler obviously doesn’t care)
    HAHAHAHAHAHA
    PUBERTY
    YEY FOR RANDOMNESS!!

  2. The Weird Shipper September 2nd, 2009 at 5:18 pm 2

    😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

    Awwwwwww, it’s so /cute/. Good fic.

  3. catchy title. i saw it, and, of course, with a title like that i couldnt ignore it. although, that was kinda… u no. arty and butler… that kinda stuff gives me tha creeps. and datz why i LURV IT!!!!! FOOLED YA YA THOT I HATED IT!! YAY RANDOMNESS!!!!!!!

  4. I’m gonna say the exact same thing as ohan *if she dnt kill me 4 nickin her lines*
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    ARTY HAS A PIMPLE
    HAHAHAHaHAHAHA
    (good thing Butler obviously doesn’t care)
    HAHAHAHAHAHA
    PUBERTY
    YEY FOR RANDOMNESS!!

    butler/arty is a pairing that always makes me gag but i like readin the fics anyway. nd u wrote ur fic really well so yea kool!

  5. Good choice of words, Toushi 😆
    Arty: I have a pimple! Why are you laughing?! 👿
    Us: IT’S FUNNY GET OVER IT!!

  6. it’s v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v. sweet, and as Kimm wants to say, it’s also very cute.

  7. That’s pretty cool. I may not ship Artler, but that doesn’t mean I can’t like the stories about the pairings because they’re well written!

  8. okay….. its really SICK!! srry but if erion colfer wanted artemis and bulter gay he would of made them gay!!

  9. Muirrin Umbriel Cordelia Naiad September 4th, 2009 at 10:16 pm 9

    IT’S EOIN COLFER AND BUTLER!!!AND YOU CALL YOURSELF AN ARTEMIS FOWL FAN!!!WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP PICKING ON BUTLERXARTEMIS BECAUSE HE/SHE HAS PEOPLE GAY IN HIS/HER STORIES????
    THERE IS A RULE BANNING THAT KIND OF THING, YOU KNOW!!SO ARTY IS GAY IN THIS FIC?GET OVER IT!!!!LIFE WILL GO ON!!!!

  10. Muri Briel Delia N September 4th, 2009 at 10:25 pm 10

    Erm..Muri might have..overreacted a bit.Sorry, big red 757, but I really hate unfairness and that was kind of unfair.If other people are allowed to write stories about Arty meeting The Cullens and Yoda and every other thing under the sun without fear of persecution, then why can’t ButlerXArtemis write this?I’m just going to go into a corner and make myself small now.

  11. Whoa… Arty has a PIMPLE!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ALL OF MY NEFARIOUS PLANS ARE COMPLETE!!!

    Oh, and my problem with Butler/Artemis is the same as Artemis/Minerva, Artemis/Holly, Artemis/Juliet, and Artemis/anyone else; I have an irrational crush on Arty. So don’t bite my head off.

  12. MRS.taylorlautner September 11th, 2009 at 9:39 pm 12

    I DIDNT KNOW ARTEMIS AND BUTLER WAS GAY!!!! now y didnt erion colfer put that in the books?! n here i was thinking artemis had a thing for holly! lol anyways the storys funny.(i think i should of skipped the kissing part though….)

  13. I have a belief that Artemis is gay, and Colfer is in denial. I can only see him marrying if Angeline made him.

    And, I don’t know how to put this and still be allowed her, so I think I’ll censor.

    Listen, (bleep)[aka:big red], your weak-(bleep)ed homphobia is so (bleep)ing far from welcome here, that I have half a mind to kick your (bleeping)ing (bleep) into next week, then (bleeping)ing kicking it back to dinosuar’s times, so you will be eaten. Comprendes?

  14. MuriUmbrielCordeliaN September 11th, 2009 at 11:45 pm 14

    Wow.And I though ‘I’ ovrereacted. Not critisizing you, TWS. Go Anti-homophobia!

  15. Bisexuality does that for ya.

    GO ANTIHOMOPHOBIA!!!

  16. Bisexuality does that for ya 😉

    GO ANTI-HOMOPHBIA!!!

  17. (This comment won’t. Bloody. SHOW!)

    Either way: Being bisexual kind of helps with the hompphobic-hate.

    GO ANTI-HOMOPHOBIA!!!

  18. *shruggs* Bisexuality does that for ya.

    GO ANTI-HOMOPHOBIA!!!

    (And, yes, I will continue to try to revment until it stays)

  19. Bisexuality does that for ya.

    GO ANTI-HOMOPHOBIA!!!

    (And, yes, I will continue to try to revment until it stays)

  20. *shruggs* Bisexuality does that for ya.

    GO ANTI-HOMOPHOBIA!!!

    (And, yes, I will continue to try to revment until it stays)

  21. WTF YOU FUCKING IDIOT HOW DARE YOUI SHOULD FIND YOU AND KICK YOUR FUCKIN ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if you have anything to say email me BITCH

  22. Beckett Simple-toon September 30th, 2009 at 6:02 pm 22

    haha! arty had a pimple! i will pick it off and put it is a ‘my first pimple’ box!

  23. let me guess…. the author is gay right?!?!?!?!?!?!? cuz that is totally sick

  24. why is every1 saying the “G” word???

  25. MuriUmbrielCordeliaN November 3rd, 2009 at 11:40 pm 25

    ilovetwilight: Even if BXA is, that’s none of your business! Did you hear TWS? “Your weak-(bleep)ed homophobia is so (bleep)ing far from welcome here” That goes for you too! So stop being mean or I’ll smack you with FF#1’s spoon!

  26. ok, my name is kayden. i am gay. i live in england, my parents are not criminals but are rich. i have a bodyguard. i am like artemis fowl in so many ways, except i have never met a fairy, am not a genius… yada yada yada… and if my body guard (who is hot by the way) ever saw me with a pimple, he would by me some clearasil as a joke. god this fan fics coooooool! yeah. ok . buh bye.

  27. Hola Kayden! You do sound alot like arty, tho I don’t think Colfer intended for him to be gay. No offence. I’m SOOO not a gay-slasher!!!!
    I, for one, am NOT gay, or lesbo if you want to say it that way. So yah…..but i like this story!

  28. God I hate homophobics, they’re so so so…ignorant and stupid? Anti-homophobia rules woot 🙂 this was cute, not as good as your rewritten one but still good.

    I don’t mind the shipping as long as the content is good. I would love it if Eoin wrote Artemis as gay, that would be funny, the things he could write…*trails off*

  29. Hai.i think this fan fic was kinda cute and funny….i soo could imagine artemis gay xD it makes sense tho..o_o i yhu guys ever heard of deathnote..could artemis be L’s son? xD (i have a big crush on L..sorry if dat was random and the long comment)

  30. I like this better than the rewritten version, to be honest. ARTLER!!!!!!

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