Magical Demon Castle: East Wing

     “Artemis, when can we move in?” Butler asked. A rhetorical question.

     “You know pefectly well when, Butler,” said Artemis, “If we invade within an hour of the time Holly went, then they are sure to know that something is amiss, especially if they find two humans roaming the castle grounds. We must stick to the plan if we want it to go perfectly. I understand that you have the urge of excitement contaminating your mind, but please old friend, you must perservere.’

     “I understand,” Butler said gloomily. Poor Butler was so bored. He hadn’t got to do anything that had to do with Artemis’ plan yet. Artemis wouldn’t even tell him what Holly was doing at that time because Artemis never tells anyone anything that they don’t need to know.

     “Mulch! stop it! Mulch!”

     “Foaly, what’s going on back there?” Artemis asked.

     “This little stinker over here is trying to mess with my controls. Mulch! Stop!”

     “Well, tell him to stop!”

     ”What does it sound like I’m doing? Stop it!”

     “Tell him I said to stop being an irritant.” Artemis said. Then there was a long pause.

     “Amazing! I didn’t even have to say anything”

     Artemis heard Mulch’s tiny voice on the other line. “In case you forgot, or maybe I should say, since you forgot, dwarf ears can hear better than most mammal ears.

     “Yeah and dwarf mates have worst tastes in mates than most mammals too.” Foaly replied.

     “Okay Foaly, I’m out and you two don’t go killing each other.” Artemis switched off his mic. They were getting extremely irritating, and not just Mulch, but Foaly too. He could see why Holly sometimes got tired of them.

     “So how are our two friends doing?” Butler asked.

     “Not very well. Bickering, as usual. Wait. That smell.”

     Butler smelled it too. “I smell it too. It’s probably just a geyser that erupted. They come from where volcanoes come from. They are both from the same family.”

     “No. It smells more like… Hybras! Quick take my hand, we have to shield!” Butler urgently took his charge’s hand and they both disappeared, well it would seem that they disappeared, just as a trapdoor spider would appear to not be hiding underground.

     “I don’t see why-” Butler started, but was cut off by an impatient Artemis.

     “Shhh! Someone’s coming.”

     “Why can’t Basset just release the message to the humans yet. I wear wanna tear off some human’s-” the demon stopped. “Hey, do you see that?” demon #1 asked pointing to the spot where Artemis and Butler were shielding.

     “No. You’re crazy. I don’t see nothin,” demon #2 replied.

     ‘Anything. I don’t see anything,” Artemis thought, ‘I don’t see why demons are more closely related to warlocks than any other fairy. Demons are so uneducated and warlocks are naturally intelligent, like me.

     ”No. Look closely. There’s a slight shimmer over there.” said demon #1.

     “What’d you say?”

     “The lighting in that spot over there is blurry,” explained demon #1 slowly so he could understand. ‘Moron.’

     “Oh. Could be an elf. Did you know that they can disappear out of thin air?” informed demon #2.

     “No they can’t, moron. They can only shield, which makes a slight shimmer in the air,” informed demon #1.

     “What?”

     “Never mind.” Demon #1 reached forward just in case there was someone there. Unfortunately for him Butler had already drawn his Sig Sauer just as they came around the corner. As they moved out of the way, Butler shot demon #1 in the arm. That’s way worse than a tetanus shot.

     Demon #1 started screaming,” Ahhhhh! My arm! My arm!”

     “Stop tryin’ to scare me. I know you’re fakin’ it. You’re still sore because I got you that one time.” The demented demon #2 said. But then he still didn’t stop screaming, and then… BAM! Butler shot him again, except in the head. Demon #1 flipped over and slammed on the ground. Artemis unshielded and waltzed right up to demon #2.

     “You never saw two humans in the castle grounds,” Artemis said, his voice layered with the mesmer, “your demon friend was never shot. He was killed by you. You don’t see us at all.”

     “I haven’t seen anything like your kind. Carry on, I won’t tattle on you,” demon #2 said. Then he realized, “NOOOO! I KILLED HIM!! I KILLED MY FRIEND!”

     “Why are you screaming? You’ve always wanted to kill him. You hated him”

     “Why am I panicking? I hate that guy! I’m gonna bury him to hide the evidence.” He picked up demon #1 by his legs and started to drag him out of site.

     “That was close. Butler, I have a question. Why did you shoot him like that? We could have moved away undetected.”

     “Sorry Artemis. I’m just doing my job. Protecting the principle. I overreacted.”

     “Well make sure it doesn’t happen again. We can’t have slip-ups like that. We were lucky there were only two of them. And we were also lucky that the remaining demon was ignorant.”

     Artemis wondered how things were looking. He turned on his mic and heard some yelling.

     “Holly! Unless you want stun them manually, you have to get out of there!” He heard Foaly’s voice.

     “D’Arvit! I can’t take my neutrino because my hands are full! I have to get out of here!” shouted Holly, “D’Arvit,” she repeated, “the doors are closing!”

Some other stories by GoMulchGo:

• Butler's Turn
• What if Mulch was caught by Opal and the Brill brothers?
• ????????
• Update!
• Three Choices

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