Like Father, Like Daughter
Written on September 23rd, 2007 by artyfowl3Story Details
(17 votes, average: 3.94 out of 5)
Loading ...A/N: I’ve had this fic on my mind for months now and I FINALLY got it down on paper (and computer). So please please PLEASE tell me what you think. Constructive criticisms more than welcome!
Everyone’s probably heard the term “like father, like son” right? Well, you know what? It’s crap. Two reasons. One: it’s so totally sexist. I mean, where’d the mothers and daughters go? Everyone should just say “like parent, like child” or something. But that’s dumb too, leading me to the second reason: it’s just wrong. It’s a stupid saying made up by some stupid guy who thought he could be a…you know, one of those guys who make up stupid sayings. My name is Artemis Fowl, and I’m nothing like my father.Okay, maybe that’s exaggerating just a little. I still have that same black Fowl hair and deep blue Fowl eyes that make me wonder if I’m not just a female clone of my dad. It’s possible, him being really smart and all.I love my parents, I really do. But sometimes, no, most of the time, they really get on my nerves. Both of them are geniuses and everything and I’m, like, the only non-genius besides Uncle Myles, Uncle Bennett, Grams and Gramps. So, anyway, I get back from school to that gargantuan palace I’m supposed to call home and I get out that homework that’s killing my back and mom and dad are all peeking over my shoulders and whenever I pause for just a second, they’re all like, “oh, dear, you need help on that one? Oh, my, that’s so easy. You must not have been paying attention in class. Are you sure you’re feeling alright sweetie pie? Usually you love math!” and I’m thinking as ifff!But I think the time I really got annoyed at the ‘rents was when I finally realized that pretty much everything mom and dad ever told me was a lie. I shouldn’t have been too surprised since parents lie to their kids all the time, but this was huge. I mean, what could be huger than finding out after fifteen years that your old man’s a criminal?So I was sneaking around the house trying to find that secret passageway behind the bookshelf like that every mansion in every movie has when I heard my parents having some sort of argument.I heard them right in the middle of their conversation and mom seemed to be telling dad to give something up. I heard dad say, “how can I give that up? It’s my whole life? My father did it, his father, and his father before him!”Then mom was all like, “Yes, and your father was almost killed doing it.” I remember thinking Gramps was almost killed? I thought he was a business-dude or whatever. So’s dad.That last comment seemed to make dad real angry and I heard his chair screech along the wooden floor. I tried peering through the keyhole like in detective movies and stuff but this was real life and that never works so I had to be satisfied with putting my ear against the door.Then dad said sharply, “He wasn’t careful. I’m not him. I am careful. I can empty a bank without getting caught or suspected and I’ve been doing that since I was a teenager. I would know these things, Minerva.”"Artemis,” mom said, “remember what happened back in Munich? When you tried to take that painting from that bank?”Dad snapped, “Yes, and I did.”Mom ignored that and said, “And if it wasn’t for Captain Short, you’d have died.”Dad was silent and I was about to leave and just go check my email but then dad began talking again. He said, “I know, Minerva. But I was a child. I needed the fairies.”I have no idea what happened after that ’cause I’m copying this out of my diary and maybe my pencil broke or something and I went to get a sharpener than I forgot what I was going to write or something. You know, I have no idea why I’m telling you this. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that this is supposed to be a secret, my dad being a criminal and still believing in fairies when he was fourteen. I mean, that’s just embarrassing. He was supposed to be a genius.So yeah, here’s the moral of this short whatchamacallit. Never trust your parents. Hell, never trust adults in general. My name is Artemis Fowl III, and I’m nothing like my father.
Some other stories by artyfowl3:
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Share Your Thoughts
September 23rd, 2007 at 8:52 am
very very very good ! keep going please this is totally awsome and i love the way artemis daughter is called the same thing as him! good job!
September 23rd, 2007 at 9:58 am
that is soooooooooo good. origonal. new. fresh. YAY♣♦◘♣
September 23rd, 2007 at 5:00 pm
Oh, I really like this, I think you’ve got a really great idea for a character, I think. Constructive criticism: This would be a great first chapter to a story, but I don’t think it’s that great as a story in itself. I’m not sure how to describe it, but it doesn’t seem… self-contained.
September 23rd, 2007 at 5:14 pm
ok, thanks! so i should write a little more? sure, no problem. Thank you for telling me!:)
September 23rd, 2007 at 6:31 pm
the only adult kids can trust is Santa Claus but how can we trust him if we never met him.(1st comment dance for Vinyaya)oooooh she forgot!!!! I love it!! I read a little then I couldnt stop reading.my friend got a little mad because we were IMing and I didnt answer her;)=D
September 23rd, 2007 at 9:27 pm
lol, that was really good!! i love the relaxed air of the story, and thats exactly how i talk!! artemis fowl III is obviously a girl, right =lol=. that sounded really stupid.
but i do agree with MMK, you should realy write more!!!
September 24th, 2007 at 3:52 am
1crazyhollyfan:thats how me and everyone at my school talks.but with more pizzaz.a strange pizzaz though.
September 25th, 2007 at 8:14 pm
I’m really glad you continued!
I still love her as a character, this should be really great.
September 27th, 2007 at 4:23 am
nvm,nobody I know speak valley girl exept this one girl.but she speaks it for fun.I am soo glad you added and I’d really like this story continued.and I bet a lot of other kids want it continued too!!!!!
September 28th, 2007 at 2:29 am
Nananananananana Batman!!
Ok now that that is out of my system II am here to warn you that m brothers hairy but is going to squash the earth if you don’t keep writing!!
Oh ya and if you add something like Almonds raining from the sky you can categorize this in FUNNY!!
September 30th, 2007 at 6:21 am
eek! write more! i beg of u! i dont want to get a hairy but to squash me!!!!!!hee hee
October 16th, 2007 at 1:04 am
come on add more!
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:12 am
mwa mwa mwa mwa u added more….YAY wonderful
October 23rd, 2007 at 8:33 pm
I just read chapter three. It’s still very good.
I can’t wait for her to figure out her father’s right (that will happen, right? Nevermind, don’t tell me).
October 26th, 2007 at 3:07 am
That was hilarious!!!! Can’t *giggle* stop *snort* LAUGHING! Very awesome.
October 26th, 2007 at 5:16 am
OMG Artemis’s daughter is starting to freak me out! PLEASE! WHY is she so EVIL?
October 27th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
This rocks!! does she find out about the fairies though? plz let her, it would make her feel better!!
;) xoxox
October 28th, 2007 at 6:09 pm
no offense but this story doesn’t really have a point.
More action would make it better!
October 30th, 2007 at 5:59 am
don’t worry! i’m just building up to it!
November 1st, 2007 at 2:30 am
Ok sounds good!
November 2nd, 2007 at 7:54 am
l.o.v.e it
November 3rd, 2007 at 2:58 pm
love it! wow its awesome!
November 3rd, 2007 at 10:48 pm
wow,this is totally cool!!!!!!!
November 3rd, 2007 at 11:04 pm
ditto!
November 4th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
this may be a bit off subject..i dunno…..BUT I LUV THE WORD DITTO!
November 4th, 2007 at 9:36 pm
lol , thank god u updated keep it up!
November 5th, 2007 at 1:06 am
yay u updated…..new bodyguards hmmmmmmm great idea
November 8th, 2007 at 4:25 pm
ooo the toothfiary!!!!!!!!!
I really needed a quarter are you shure she’s coming???????lol this is good!!!!!
November 23rd, 2007 at 7:45 pm
wow. i just read ch.8! i really like your ideas! write more soon!
November 25th, 2007 at 1:55 am
Wow, it’s pretty original! I’m not quite sure if I like who Artemis III is, but we’ll see. Generally, when people are like her, they don’t care that much about social status anymore. I think that whole rant gets kind of old. It is quite addictive, though. keep it up!!
November 25th, 2007 at 2:11 am
i loved that u continued! keep it up!!!
November 25th, 2007 at 2:26 am
you you lied !!! she didn’t come and I still need a quarter!!! great story glad to see it contuned but that God comment was offenceve everyone belives in something!!! please keep going only don’t lie!!! stupid toothfairy!!
November 25th, 2007 at 3:22 am
yes most definatly! I agree with Carino Artemis 3 is um a little bit no, A LOT rude and well kind of now this is just my point of view a little bit on the gangster side. she scares me! *goes to hide under kitchen table* If u could soften her up a wee bit that would be wounderful!
p.s. I can’t hold it in any longer! I WAS ON TV!!!!!
YAAAAAAAAAA!
November 25th, 2007 at 3:35 am
you were on t.v ??? coooll!! which cannel? where? tell meee!!!
November 25th, 2007 at 4:41 am
idk what channel it is on your TV but it was 34 on mine. That is the school public channel and I got to sing a solo for the school board!
November 25th, 2007 at 7:54 am
you were on tv? cool. please continue soon!
November 25th, 2007 at 4:14 pm
yeah.. in austrialia! idt we have that.. ah welll……… plz continue this story soon@
December 6th, 2007 at 6:49 am
I just read chapters 7 - 14. Very good still.
Though I’m starting to wish for more fairy-related plot. Not just the romance, though that’s nice too (just be careful not to overdo it)
December 6th, 2007 at 11:55 pm
nice , I totally like it! plz continue ,
December 7th, 2007 at 12:10 am
kool update!
December 8th, 2007 at 5:24 pm
MMK, you don’t have to be worried about me overdoing the romance. i’m not a romantic type of person. there’ll only be a little and there WILL be more fairy related stuff soon. thanks for reviewing!
December 8th, 2007 at 6:26 pm
Yes! More fairies! I really like it! continue!
December 20th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
I would like to see a continuation of the topic
December 31st, 2007 at 8:52 am
please continue! this is fabulose…(if thats how u spell the word)
January 27th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
r u going to upd8 this any more?
February 6th, 2008 at 4:36 am
Nice update, but I must say, I’m getting impatient to actually see fairies… assuming we get to. Artemis III’s school life is nice and everything, but it doesn’t interest me as much.
February 6th, 2008 at 5:15 am
u’ll see it! it’s coming up in the…next chapter or so? she learns a lot more about fairies. it doesn’t seem to have a point yet. i think i kind of got carried away with her normal life. oops.
February 6th, 2008 at 6:31 am
i like the school life parts. most good stories dont rush into it quickly so yea. luv the update!
February 10th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
Yeah, I’m not too impatient without the fairies. But please continue! I love the story!
February 15th, 2008 at 7:52 am
luv the update,….HAHAHAHA she got locked in a boot.
February 21st, 2008 at 5:21 am
omg.. wow.. well keep updating , I was kind of like “What the—–” when she got drunk and evrythig.. but w/e , upd8 soon lol!
February 21st, 2008 at 8:51 am
ohhh a coma,..great idea
March 6th, 2008 at 4:07 am
I like her getting drunk! Serve her right for thinking Opal is just a poor innocent fairy. ~shake fist~
March 9th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
LOL I like it!
March 9th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
Yay! Love it still! Get her out of there! Yay! Update soon!
March 11th, 2008 at 12:50 am
yay update!!!!!
March 19th, 2008 at 5:50 am
lol like the update
March 19th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Dun dun dunnnnnnnn. Love it! Write more!
March 31st, 2008 at 8:12 am
lol if i was jo i would be like…o..m…g…..TURTLES!! just to make the moment random. luv the update plz continue.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:47 pm
hm…that’s an idea…
March 31st, 2008 at 10:57 pm
Good to see you’re updating again! I’m glad the plot moved (not to rush you, of course- it’s your story, do what YOU like). It’s very interesting, I like your plot.
Though I’m guessing Artemis was mesmerized in the cell? If not then he was very OOC, completely giving up right away like that. Holly was OOC, too. Your original characters are great, but you have to be careful to keep the old ones in character. That’s my major piece of constuctive criticism.
Great job, though!
April 1st, 2008 at 12:19 am
thanks! i’ll try to make them a bit more in character. as i keep saying, i LOVE constructive criticism.
April 1st, 2008 at 2:32 am
I like it! Yeah! cool character, but some constuctive critisism would be: you need to start a new paragraph everytime someone else starts speaking, like:
“Hi Joe,” Bob said.
“Hi Bob, we’re all going to get killed by aliens!” replied Joe.
You get the picture, but other then that it’s good.
May 16th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
That was AWSOME!!!!! UPDATE PLEASE!!!!!