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How to be a Vampire

Summary: Prologue Artemis threw down his book in disgust. His latest homework assignment had been to read a scary story. He […]

Chapters: 1 2 3

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Prologue
Artemis threw down his book in disgust. His latest homework assignment had been to read a scary story. He had chosen to read “Wait for me by Moonlight”. He had found 12 mistakes that the main character,Cydna, had made in the first chapter alone. He felt like e-mailing the author and reprimanding him for writing such a bad story. He flipped through the rest of the book. Nothing interesting.
Artemis got up and left his study. He would torture himself later. As he left, he noticed another book on the end of his table. It was titled “How to be a Vampire”. Intrigued, he opened it up. The first line was “A world of power and beauty awaits…”. The rest was blank. Confused, Artemis flipped through the rest. Blank. Suddenly, he noticed some words scrawled in spidery handwriting at the bottom of the page. They said “To discover the secret, chant three times: I want, I do, I kill”. Eerie, Artemis thought.
Throughout the whole day, all Artemis could think of was the book. He knew he had to tell somebody, but no one would believe him. He began to get desperate. He snuck into Beckett’s room, and told it to one of his stuffed animals; a pink bunny. That wasn’t enough. Artemis wrote it in an e-mail, sent it to another computer, ran to that computer, as fast as he could, and once there, read it and deleted it. That wasn’t enough either. He picked up the book again.
“D’arvit.” He gasped, exasperated. He couldn’t take it anymore.
“I want, I do, I kill. I want, I do, I kill.” Suddenly, there was a cold wind, and then nothing. Butler left the window open again, Artemis mused. The book was still blank. Artemis threw it down next to”Wait for me by Moonlight.” Another failure. Well, at least that had WORDS!

Chapters: 1 2 3

Comments on This Post

26 responses to “How to be a Vampire.” Join in!

  1. Haha! Great start!

    “He snuck into Beckett’s room, and told it to one of his stuffed animals; a pink bunny. That wasn’t enough. Artemis wrote it in an e-mail, sent it to another computer, ran to that computer, as fast as he could, and once there, read it and deleted it. That wasn’t enough either.”

    Hilarious!!! Keep going, elfgoddess, anything with Artemis and vampires is automatically interesting!

  2. Thank goodness this wasn’t what I expected. It was way better. 🙂 I agree with WE’s fav. part too.
    UPDATE OR FEAR MY WRATH!!!!

  3. A pink bunny… *chuckles until tears come out of my eyes*

    But he only said it twice. o.o

    He’s not even creeped out? Since when do random winds show up in his room? Artemis, you’re not giving the book nearly enough credit! That’s gonna come back to bite you!

    ~Yoshi

  4. Oh this was awesome I completely ditto Hermione.

    Erm, constructive crit is basically about formatting, like thoughts in italics (although there’s only like a word) and more paragraphing because it’s easier to read that way.

    Other than that, I must reiterate how awesome it was 😀

    Marshmellow por vous if there is an UPDATE

  5. Well, artyrox. Now there’s an update. Can I have my marshmallow now? *shoves hand in artyrox’s face* hope you peoples like it. 😉

  6. …your update is about *counts words* no, it’s exactly 29 words long. Therefore, you can have a tenth of a marshmellow.

    When I said update I kinda meant erm…like more than 300 words or something that counted as an update.

    You can have the rest of the severed marshmellow when there is more…i.e. a lot more 😀

    By the way, I notice you giving out a lot of marshmellows to people, it gets me a little sad as I thought marshmellows were kinda my thing…*sigh* I suppose it doesn’t matter *emphatic sigh* is there any other food you could use?

  7. Elf:Chapter 1 needs to be a separate CHAPTER.
    Artyrox:It’s a COMPLIMENT. She looks at you like a role model, so copies you. I considered stealing socks when I was a newbie. 🙂

  8. Doesn’t matter Hermione, I’m giving her the marshmellow thing and giving out grapes for myself instead…I’m trying to lead a healthier lifestyle and grapes are the way forward…plus they sort of rhyme with update, which can be used to my advantage 😀

  9. Sorry artyrox. I didn’t know that you gave out marshmallows. I can’t think of another food that works, except for pie, and if you know me, you usually hear “My pie!”

  10. Although pie seems relatively big to give out to people just for updating or welcoming, you can take the marshmellows, I wanna give grapes a go 😀 Lemme try it out on you

    GRAPE FOR AN UPDATE 😀

    haha works a charm 😀

  11. It does sound good-you should use it on my stories (hint hint).

  12. IT’S GOOD. Stereotypical. GOOD. GREAT. I LIKE! -feeling spammy-

    UPDATE NOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

    SPAM — oh, wait, this is me. BAD ME. XD ~WE

  13. Wow, Artemis is ACTUALLY a vampire…I guess I should have seen it coming. Great story, pleez update!

  14. Wow. I have barely any bad comments.
    Just saying: Those books I mentioned, they are actually real books(Well…How to be a Vampire is more of an actual book than a bunch of blank paper, but still.) I am currently working on a new story which will be released to the general public about…when I get around to it.(So don’t expect it anytime soon! 🙂 )
    Also, I will not really work on this story until Halloween next year. It’s about Halloween, after all, and that’s over and done with.
    And a happy Thanksgiving!

  15. Elfgoddess… You don’t update, I’ll… I’ll!

    Wow, I really am bad at threats. I don’t really have a thing…

    But updateeeeeeeeeeeeeeee reallllllly! I just noticed that I didn’t say fcd for my first comment. So, uh, fcd 13 comments late! Heh.

  16. PIe!!!!!!!!! sorry, but i will now launch a psychotic rant. WHY THE @&%! DOES EVERY ONE GIVE OUT FOOD?! ITS NOT LIKE WE CAN EAT IT! DIE, MINERVA! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    yeah, im a crazy chick. deal with it, or i will kill you with my virtual flamethrower. MWAHAHAH

    Try not to stretch the page. Or doublepost, for that matter. ~WE

  17. update or else ill steal your 1tenth of amarshmellow and packk this commet with c4 c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4 c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4 c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4 c4c4c4cc4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4c4

    SPAM. ~WE

  18. ah oh run for the hills its dinamite!*ducks under brick porch* Good story I agree with the first few comments!

  19. Artemis Delfinia June 18th, 2011 at 6:31 pm 19

    I don’t really like anything that has to do with vampires but this seems interesting. UPDATE!!!!

  20. Yay I <3 vampiers (most of the time) so this makes me SUPER happy. Update or feel the wrath of the master plan.

    p.s. the master plan has to do with 2 zebras,a golden potato, and a turkry sandwich……..

  21. Wow that was funny and interesting! Please update! 😀

  22. In the third chapter: Artemis retreated Yo his bed…

    Replace Yo with to and you’re golden.

  23. Hi elfie, i love this fic! specially cos minerva’s a bad guy,it was so cool. but no holly?

  24. meepfanmeepster July 29th, 2013 at 11:18 pm 24

    when are you going to update?

  25. meepfanmeepster August 16th, 2013 at 10:07 pm 25

    update and get a free cookie

  26. Please update.

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