Holly, don’t shoot the mailman!
Written on October 4th, 2007 by VinyayaStory Details
(7 votes, average: 4.14 out of 5)
Loading ...One day the Artemis fowl was sitting around in Fowl Manor waiting for something to happen. Holly was also there on a holiday.
” So… Do you like to do… stuff?”
” What ’stuff’ were you thinking of Miss Short?”
” I dunno Artemis lets do something, this is meant to be a FUN holiday!”
” I already suggested a game of chess.”
” Chess isn’t my idea of fun Artemis.”
Suddenly the doorbell rang.
” Thank Frond for that!” Said holly and skipped off to the front door.
“Artemis it’s the mail!” She shouted.
Ok, so to find out what happens next you have to write letters to Holly, Artemis or anyone else in the books you can think of. It will have a plot don’t worry but I need you to ask them questions and I will do my best to reply! Leave the questions as comments. 
Some other stories by Vinyaya:
- Trouble, on Holly and Artemis
- In The End
- Talent
- Aphrodite ~The Adventure Continues~
- The Holly Short Novellas
October 4th, 2007 at 4:49 pm
anyone gonna write?
October 4th, 2007 at 5:50 pm
lol that’s funny!!!!!! keep going!!!!
October 4th, 2007 at 5:54 pm
you have to write letters or i can’t lol!
October 4th, 2007 at 5:55 pm
Hey Everybody what’s up.
October 4th, 2007 at 6:52 pm
is that a letter?
October 4th, 2007 at 9:19 pm
ooooo I gotta question! Artemis if you and Holly get together isn’t that like dating your Grandma?because Holly is old (even if she doesn’t look it, also i’m not a Holly or Artemis hater its just something that wierds me out when I read a Artemis/Holly fanfic.)
October 4th, 2007 at 9:40 pm
ok so i wrote it up! what u think about his reaction?
October 4th, 2007 at 10:23 pm
oK HERE IS ANOTHER LETTER
Dear Holly do you where boxers or briefs because boxers are for boys and your a girl so you should wear briefs or bikinis or low-cuts but you r a tom boy so you might wear boxers! Please notify us ant Artemis Fowl Fan fiction.com
October 4th, 2007 at 11:14 pm
Dear Artemis-
I heard Minerva yesterday…I don’t know how to say this, but I think she is planning to kill Holly..I heard a few words, like monkeys, brazil, big gun, commander root, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. What will you do about this?
Signed- Holly314 of the Fangathering Froum site team.
October 5th, 2007 at 12:23 am
Dear Holly and Artemis,
I am a huge fan. But tell me one thing- Do you two love each other? I mean, it doesn’t seem like it in the books, but you never know. I like to think of sick things. Not an insult. It’s just that Holly is so much older! Plus, she’s an elf.
Oh, and please read my fanfics. One of them is pretty funny.
October 5th, 2007 at 1:15 am
Dear Artemis,
do you wear glasses? Are they big and dorky and make you look like a freak? is that why you don’t have any other friends except for creatures who aren’t supposed to exist and a girl you might have a crush on and she might like you back? I don’t think you and holly should go out THAT WOULD BE WRONG!!! And last of all if you weren’t rich where would you live in a box like a Hobo? Hobo’s scare me so then I probably wouldn’t read you stiry because it would freak people out also ave you every tried eating non-edible stuff I do it all the time it leaves a funny taste in your mouth
Lots of hate,
Lindsey
October 5th, 2007 at 1:19 am
Dear Artemis,
Do you eat your bellybutton lint of feed it to Holly? Some people at my school have fessed up to eating their toe jam!! *gross* I hope that you don’t crumple this up like the last one (how do we know this you ask we’re watching you
October 5th, 2007 at 2:33 am
Dear Arty Fowl,
Hi =) out of curiosity, i was wondering if you could tell me wats the deal with the vampire look? is it the fashion in your area to be,……evil looking? also it amazes me how you can scare people with just one of ur evil looks. it must of taken u alot of practice,lol.
From lil.arty,from the artemis fowl fan gathering site.
p.s r u sute wen u get annoyed?????
October 5th, 2007 at 2:34 am
lol i was meant to type cute not sute.
October 5th, 2007 at 3:31 am
Dear Artemis,
Im a huuuge fanatic!!! I have decided that I will not ship and I will not assume what will happen with your “relationship” with Miss Holly Short.I hope it works out.but still…..just remember though,we at Fangathering have a way of watching you.
one of us here watching,
anonymous
P.S. I like potatoes
P.S.S. do not do anything to this letter
October 5th, 2007 at 3:33 am
pls. dont think Im really this uptight…I just added I like potatoes cuz I like potaoes and I like being a little idiotic when Im out of class
October 5th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
omg letter over load! i am gonna get a sore hand typing all this out! but i shall start right away! i will add to the second chapter for a bit then i will make a new one lol
October 5th, 2007 at 12:42 pm
lol (gives asprin) u’ll need it.
October 5th, 2007 at 1:27 pm
btw they don’t have to be for holly and arty, they can be for mulch, butler, juliet, arty’s parents, a swear toad… anyone!
October 5th, 2007 at 5:58 pm
Holly and Artemis-
I really think you two should get together. I am possibly one of your biggest fans and I haven’t read all of your stories yet, Artemis! Sometime you should come onto our site and take a look at all of your fans’ fictions. Seriously, a lot of people even draw pictures on here of you and Holly.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
-HollyShort
P.S. Psst…Artemis…do you like any girls besides Holly?
October 6th, 2007 at 12:36 am
How about this. Dear Artemis,
Do you think that anyone knows the fairy language, Gnommish? If you think that no other human knows, think again. We know that you kidnnaped Holly and held her ransom. You gave her half the gold back so you could make a wish. We know alot about you. Your most embarrasing moment was when you scored a mere ninety-nine percent on a mathematics assignment. We know alot about you, Butler, Commander Root, Holly, Mulch, adn Foaly. Tell him that we did not hack into his computer. We all are not genii like you!
-Holly Short 99999999
P.S. Don’t ask about my name. My mood cahnges fast. Tell Holly I said hi.
October 6th, 2007 at 12:48 am
I wrote a longer one, but it didn’t let me put it on! So then I had to write a shorter one. I typed the same thing three times before I gave up and wrote a shorter one.
October 6th, 2007 at 12:56 am
artemis i personaly think you should lisen to that letter ab holly being attked, if you care ab her.
October 6th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Which one, the one I typed? OMG, I typed that yesterday, and now it’s completely buried…
October 6th, 2007 at 1:27 pm
O cool, holly likes teenage mutant ninja turtles??????
October 6th, 2007 at 4:56 pm
this ting won’t let me post my letters!!
October 6th, 2007 at 5:09 pm
I had the same problem, Jelly. This thing wouldn’t let me post my letter too! I tried to type a longer one three times before I gave up and wrote a shorter one.
October 6th, 2007 at 9:44 pm
you should type them in two parts then i would like someone to type a really long in-depth letter!
October 6th, 2007 at 10:17 pm
Dear artemis,
Do you have some sort of problem. I mean why do you always attract trouble?? Think about holly before you get into more trouble. Ps. do you like minerva? cause if you do, well, lets just say, i hate her dont go out with her!!!!
Arty_and_holly_4ever
October 6th, 2007 at 10:29 pm
Dear Artemis,
I am just wondering, Do you know that in this world, dimension, whatever you wish to call it, you are a fictional character? Ok, ok, just hang with me. Do you think you could invent a wormhole sort of thing that would let you travel here? That would be so cool!
Cordially, Jivenileelfsrule
PS: I am Holly314’s sister.
PPS: If you did come over here, you would be famous, and I think Eoin would have a heart attack!!
Can you pleez put that in your story exactly the way it is? If you choose to use this I mean…
October 6th, 2007 at 10:30 pm
oh, and change my typo in the story…Juvenileelfsrule.
October 7th, 2007 at 3:21 am
lol this is funny
October 7th, 2007 at 9:15 am
Hah. I love it please write more.. I thought I might fall off my chair when I read the boxers part rofl!
October 7th, 2007 at 11:31 am
does anyone actually want to comment on the idea of this story rather than just leaving letters cos it will take a few hours for me to type everything that has been written lol
October 7th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
Ok, really funny!(shoves sister away) I hope you manage to get the rest of the letters typed!!!!!!
And the whole point of the story is for us to write letters!
October 7th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
These are very cute and funny- nice job, Vinyaya. I think the “I already suggested we play chess” was really, really, funny.
Holly99999- If your message is too long (or if it contains a bad word, or if the spam filter thinks it’s spam), it has to be approved by an editor before it shows up. I just approved your first letter, so I’ll delete the others.
October 7th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
Dear mulch, Have you every played a practical joke on Julius? If not you should defiantly Fart in his mouth!!
October 7th, 2007 at 7:18 pm
eewww jelly…
October 7th, 2007 at 7:49 pm
btw what’s a hobo?
October 7th, 2007 at 9:17 pm
ha ha ha that is called Beef stew! a hobo is a person who is like a begger and they mostly live in dark alleyways and act like hermits!
October 7th, 2007 at 9:42 pm
i would like to thank jelly for writing such a long letter it was very fun to reply to lol and sorry if artemis is a bit negative but what did you expect? any objections write another letter and i will have a litlle talk with artemis about his manners lol!
October 7th, 2007 at 11:22 pm
PPPS: guess what? I am NOT watching you. Why would I?
October 7th, 2007 at 11:25 pm
PPPPS: I’m sorry to write such a long letter. I hope the 2 Irish pounds I am sending will make up for it….
October 8th, 2007 at 1:31 am
Did he really have to fall asleep at my letter?
October 8th, 2007 at 2:00 am
I like the one you put in your story. It sounds much more proffesional. Keep writing!
October 8th, 2007 at 2:33 am
yo Artemis,
)
Whats your problem? these are perfectly nomal questions for a person of your normiality! so just answer the questions like a proffesionall and stop thinking were stupid!! (we can read your mind too1
October 8th, 2007 at 3:00 am
I am holding my kitten right now he wants to type too!ggggggggkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkm33 s5sssssssssshkop 555555555555rrrrrrrrrr1X66666666666UQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ 3 THAT IS FELINE FOR PLZ WRITE MORE!
October 8th, 2007 at 3:42 am
dear Holly,
do you like Trouble or Artemis? also If Mulch tried a practical joke on you like beef stew would you shock him or give him a taste of his own medicine?
October 8th, 2007 at 3:45 am
Dear Julius,
do you have an artificial heart yet? if so does it pump enough blood to your head for a troll or a goblin (that isn’t much.) And have you ever considered teaching Artemis some common manners? boy is he one rude mudjerk!
October 8th, 2007 at 3:50 am
YAAAAAAAY!!it feels like arty really said I have ISSUES!!but dont knock it til you try it!!!!! Im funserious!!!fun and serious.thank for keeping it semi-same
October 8th, 2007 at 3:54 am
Dear Vinyaya,
my goal is to make Artemis say I am insane. And Holly to agree with me for any reason threat or somethin…
October 8th, 2007 at 10:11 am
Dear Foaly,
I must ask, why would you believe that the human race (especially A.F.F.G pplz) would not be able to get through that silly little piece of tin foil on your head? well this must be a shock but we can see you and yes we know where you are. please send me a response, it would be well …..liked.
lil.arty
p.s. i think ur gettin a bold spot on the top of ur head.
p.p.s. since ur in shock and most likly stunned u may like to know that Root is standin at ur side reading this note….hi root!
October 8th, 2007 at 4:32 pm
ok this is brilliant interest but it will take a while for me to type this al so beare with me
October 8th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
I got a letter to write!!:
Dear Arty n Holly,
hi!i personaly dont like to spy on people so i dont watch the arty cam or da holly cam or the arty fowl gang cam,insted i just watch tv!i realy hope u and holly live happily ever after and u never marry miverpoo! tell minnie i hate her!
love,elfreda!
p.s.say hi to every1 4 me(i hope root is still alive!)
p.s.s.tell julies vinaya LOVES him k????
October 8th, 2007 at 5:59 pm
omg.
October 8th, 2007 at 10:49 pm
Dear holly,
I know how to write and read gnomish now after tedious hours of memrizing. But know I need to know how to speak it if you turn around you will be looking at the A.f.F.F cam I want to know how to say where is the potty. Thank you
P.s. u r my favorite character!
P.P.s. Teach Artemis some manners he pick his nose!
October 8th, 2007 at 11:36 pm
Hey, Vinyaya, pleez type another chapter!!!!!!!!!
October 9th, 2007 at 2:03 am
You forgot the Short in my name. It is Holly Short 99999999. My sister is laughing like crazy.
October 9th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
ok HollyShort99999999, you are obsessed with your name! does it really matter how many nines there are when we type it? and say thanx to your sister lol xx
October 9th, 2007 at 6:21 pm
what up
October 9th, 2007 at 10:06 pm
UPDATE!!
October 9th, 2007 at 10:32 pm
You forgot the spaces! Sorry if I am so obssesesed with that. I can’t stand it if any one gets my name wrong. Unless it is the teacher or the principal, I kinda get mad.
October 9th, 2007 at 10:36 pm
When are you going to update? Does he really have to fall asleep at my letter?
October 9th, 2007 at 10:37 pm
PLZ UPDATE!!
October 9th, 2007 at 11:33 pm
really.
October 9th, 2007 at 11:35 pm
Please stop getting my name wrong! It is Holly Short 99999999! Sorry. I get a little mad when people mess up my name.
October 9th, 2007 at 11:47 pm
a little??!?!?!
October 10th, 2007 at 12:05 am
Are you saying that in a surprised way, a mad way, a kind of sarcastic type of way, or some other kind of way?
October 10th, 2007 at 12:20 am
I think he meant it sort of teasingly. Not in a bad way, though. Honestly, I think Holly Short 99999999 is rather cumbersome to type. Much earier to call you HS9 or something similar. I respect that you don’t like nicknames, though, so I’ll type out the whole thing.
Vinyaya- will this have any plot, or is it just answering letters?
October 10th, 2007 at 12:28 am
You mean she. Dippy is a girl. I am okay with nicknames. If you want me to do a nickname then that is all right. I just don’t like it when people don’t get my name right.
October 10th, 2007 at 12:34 am
Thank you I am a girl.and if anyone has the answer to help me get logged in I would appreciate it if you told me so I can be Jelly again.
October 10th, 2007 at 12:55 am
MMK: Do you mean easier instead of earier? You said that you were picky about spelling and grammer. I just wanted to point that out to you.
October 10th, 2007 at 1:00 am
Oh, sorry Jelly. It’s hard to tell. People think I’m a boy all the time. Sorry again. And I’ll see if anyone can figure out why you can’t log in…
HS9- yes, I meant easier. And yes, I am picky about spelling and grammar. But even people picky about spelling and grammar occasionally make typos. And thanks for saying a nickname is OK- it really does make it easier.
Anyway, let’s stick to talking about the story from now on, please.
October 10th, 2007 at 1:19 am
Sorry MMK!
this story is good plz continue!!
October 10th, 2007 at 11:32 pm
GAH!! UPDATE!!!!!!!!!! *background: movee over sis! Gah. OWW!* Ok srry ignore that, but I do agree with her, (zomg it’s a sign of the apocalypse!) I want an update!!!! They’re good in sandwiches!
Shut up!
October 11th, 2007 at 2:22 am
um…. ya. Plz continue.
October 13th, 2007 at 12:30 am
NOW!
October 13th, 2007 at 2:31 am
omg who made the stars go down???? grrrrr..lol
October 13th, 2007 at 6:29 am
Dear Artemis,
I have a couple questions to ask you. What does caviar taste like? What would you do if you were stuck in a building and nobody was in sight? Would you scream, jump out the window, jump out the window and scream, or just die in there? Don’t think that I am wierd. I already know a bunch of people who think I am wierd. I am just gald that you are only friends with Minerva. I support you and Holly all the way!
HS9 aka Holly Short 99999999
October 13th, 2007 at 6:44 pm
Dear Artemis,
I hate minervia. I also think that Holly is not your type. I don’t think you will ever have a real girlfriend because you have no manners, I mean you eat baby fish! I hope you see it my way and date someone who deserves you like a pig but even that species doesn’t deserve you! I guess you shall stay single….
October 13th, 2007 at 11:47 pm
To Jelly: He might be so offened that he might get Butler to do something to you after he figures out who you are and where you live.
October 14th, 2007 at 4:03 pm
I had this really wierd dream last night. It was involving this story. The letter I wrote to Artemis was torn and then burned. Then, something happened. I did not find out because I woke up. This might help you. It could be an idea.
October 14th, 2007 at 4:49 pm
erm… ok? lol thanx!
October 16th, 2007 at 12:01 am
OMG Butler might come to my house! (squeal!):)
This is so cool I really want to meet at least ONE character! Vinyaya will you let it happen?
*puppy dog eyes*
October 16th, 2007 at 12:48 am
Dear Butler,
If a monkey came up and bit artemis on the ear, would you kill it? Do you have a girlfriend? Does Artemis ever make you want to kill yourself? sorry just curious.
Ashley aka arty_and_holly_4ever
Ps. Im watching you
October 16th, 2007 at 12:51 am
Dear Butler,
would you dress up as a clown if Artemis wanted to have a Halloween party? do you take showers in your swimsuit? Do you really look like Chewbaka? If so are your armpits hairy to?
October 16th, 2007 at 10:23 am
you lot are very very strange… and i am gonna be typing this lot up for months…
October 17th, 2007 at 10:44 pm
Dear Artemis,
I so totally support you and Holly!! If you guys had kids, would they be human, fairy, or some kind of freak of nature? Do you bowl?
Ashley
We are so watching you!!! but only because we LOVE you!!!
October 18th, 2007 at 7:55 pm
ps.vinaya u can just copy n paste da letters!!!
October 19th, 2007 at 2:05 am
Can I write another?
Dear Holly-
From my name you can tell that I am a great admirer of you! I love the way you handle tough situations, and flirt with Artemis! Just put that for fun. How long have you and him been dating? Ever since the time tunnel incident? I just want to tell that I will always create stories about you… no matter how much you protest. Have you read Vinyaya’s “The Holly Short Novellas?” I think you and Trouble would be extremely offended.
Your biggest fan,
1hollyfan
October 19th, 2007 at 2:12 am
I have a few questions. When are you going to update? Did he really have to fall asleep at mine? Does Artemis Fowl really snore? Even if he did, it would not be that loud. Great story though!
October 20th, 2007 at 8:19 pm
2 mmk plz go imedialey 2 this post:HELP ME! SOMEONE HAS DELETED ALL MY STORIES!!HELP ME MMK!!!
October 21st, 2007 at 3:26 pm
elfreda isn’t possible you did it accidently?
October 21st, 2007 at 5:09 pm
it would be pretty hard to do thet… I will check to see if princess Bethany.
October 22nd, 2007 at 1:41 am
It would not be that hard to delete them. Maybe someone else deleted them. Maybe you did. Or maybe this is a joke. To Vinyaya: When are you going to add more? I am waiting ,but you do not add more!
October 22nd, 2007 at 2:41 am
okay I’m stickin’ to writin’ letters.
TO:HOLLY AND ARTEMIS
Dear Arty,
Have you ever regretted practically skipping your childhood.You know doing things kids really love to do.Like videogames,candy,being active all the time,more videogames,and candy.Playing with your mom and dad at the park.You know,kid stuff.
Luvin’ being a kid,
luv-artygirl
P.S. Same goes for Holly.What did you do as a real KID???
October 22nd, 2007 at 11:16 am
i don’t think i am going to be writing again for a while.
October 22nd, 2007 at 10:37 pm
Yes PLEASE WRITE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:07 am
ok don’t worry Vinyaya we won’t give up on one of our fave writers.We can wait.ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…I hope.
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:31 am
you take ur time Vinyaya
omg ur not depressed r u???? cause my friend stopped her writting for that reason!!!!!
PLZZZ DON”T TELL ME IT”S THAT REASON!!
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:17 pm
well it is a kinda private reason… also i am a bit busy.
October 28th, 2007 at 1:12 am
hee hee hee hee
October 28th, 2007 at 1:17 am
lol you said private!
October 28th, 2007 at 1:24 am
you guys are immature. n vinyaya, we are here for you if you need us just to let you know
October 28th, 2007 at 1:27 am
I am no guy little lady!: ) *snaps fingers back and forth* don’t you even think of making that mistake again! hmph!
October 28th, 2007 at 1:33 am
I meant girls! what ever! grr just… grrr! sry for the randomness
October 28th, 2007 at 1:35 am
AWKWARD…..
October 29th, 2007 at 10:52 pm
you people are wierd but nice. i appreciate it lol
October 29th, 2007 at 11:27 pm
I am glad you think I am nice and that Arty_and_Holly_4ever is a well and this is putting it nicley a BIT odd because well it is so true…. lol!
October 30th, 2007 at 2:17 am
Dear Holly,
Do you look hot in a bikini? I am curious. If you do look hot in a bikini, plz describe with excruciating detail.
October 30th, 2007 at 2:52 am
That is just wrong!
October 30th, 2007 at 10:39 am
that is N.A.S.T.Y….eh its normal aswell…….lol
October 30th, 2007 at 6:10 pm
i will have fun answering it though!!!
November 1st, 2007 at 3:44 am
dear artemis ,
I HEARD YOU STILL HAVE PUBERTY. which , by the way means you still like minerva , maybe a crush . but anyway , i don’t think you should go out w/ holly , i mean you guys are good friends but…you need a human to date…..seriously, i still dont noe how u can say that u love holly , i mean the artemis fowl i noe about wouldn’t admit that even if he liked holly and by the way , if u do like holly , i don’t think she’ll like you back
P.S- THIS IS NOT A NEGATIVE LETTER , A FRIENDLY, ADVISE GIVING LETTER……
p.p.s - did u ever checkout this site? b-cuz you should one story they made about you…… like it was about u and holly ….and way too much info……..if you like her you should check that out and oh yah, PLZ DON’T TELL ME U LOVE HOLLY… I MEEN……ITS JUST NOT RITE! ………..no offense………
November 3rd, 2007 at 5:49 pm
Dear Artemis,
What is your middle name? Is it kjlhgiuggasjglb because that is How I spell your first name sometimes. Also How can you like Holly I mean she is kind of a tomboy and well waaaaay out of your league. If you wonder what league you are in it’s the banana one because my brother tried to draw your picture and it was pretty bananish looking. also (kind of annoying huh?) I would like to know If you have six toes like everyone says. Well, really only I say but well. ALSO We have gotten a generous doner by the name of Holly Short who sent a large cum of money for a mind reader scanner so we can read your mind to.
Hope you aren’t thinking nasty thoughts,
Jelly
November 3rd, 2007 at 5:50 pm
I mean sum not cum.
November 4th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
lol i have no idea what that was all about but i am gonna start typing my new chapters of this story and aphrodite and highschool years now because i have neglected you all long enough now! I actually am going to update this time i am not lying for once about it lol!
November 4th, 2007 at 6:46 pm
YAY!!! PPLLZZZZZZZZZZZZ use one of my letters!!
November 5th, 2007 at 1:13 am
updat update update update!!
November 5th, 2007 at 1:25 am
UPDATE NOW!!
November 5th, 2007 at 11:56 pm
YES UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
November 8th, 2007 at 7:28 am
pretty plz update *gives puppy dog eyes*
November 8th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
oh I know
Dear Holly
Youe Uncle Billy Bob’s in prison agian. i know your thinking what uncle?? BUT I KNOW YOU KNOW THIS UNCLE !!!! Also don’t kiss Artemis in front of Juleit or Minerva they will slap you!!! Oh and If you could pay your uncle’s bail this time it’s only 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 $ No big thanks!
Your Freind ,
lbutler
the other demion florida!
P.S. wish me luck I’m going seal hunting today!
November 11th, 2007 at 1:36 am
UPDATE PLEEZ VINYAYA!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEEEEEZ!! I AM DYING FOR MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
November 11th, 2007 at 1:38 am
Pleez use my letter, and update!! Pleez! It’s been only 4 chapters for ever!!!! I want chappy 5!!! And I See Holly314 agrees… *manipulates Holly314 like a dummy* pleex update!!!! OWCH!
November 11th, 2007 at 8:49 pm
HOW DO U DO THAT FACE!!!
totally cool!
Z( *( E( ?( S( {( [( =(
anywho CONTINUE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
November 11th, 2007 at 8:50 pm
November 13th, 2007 at 11:17 pm
how did you do that????? TELL ME, I AM DYING TO KNOW!!! Oh and WRITE MORE OR ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
November 13th, 2007 at 11:22 pm
YAY u can’t leave till u finish this story!!! and this is how u do that face (it is now my insignia for I am 10!)
:Evil: except for it has a lower case “e”
November 13th, 2007 at 11:28 pm
:evil That is it i think.
November 13th, 2007 at 11:29 pm
no it didnt work!!!! : evil ?????
November 13th, 2007 at 11:35 pm
November 13th, 2007 at 11:36 pm
u forgot the last colon! It is like this :Evil: except for lowercase ‘e’
November 14th, 2007 at 2:28 am
Don’t LEAVE us!Please Vinyaya!We LOOOOOVE
!
your stories!DON’T LEAVE YOUR FANS BEHIND!How can we LOve your stories if you dont see the reviews?!it would be
if that didn’t work AW MAN!
November 14th, 2007 at 2:40 am
PLZZZZZZZZZZZ DON’T LEEVEE WE WILL ALL MISS YOOOOOOOUUU SOOOOOOO MUCH! COME ON PLZ DON’T GO! IF YOU DO… I KNOW I CAN’T STOP YOU….. WILL YOU PLZ LEAVE YOUR STORIES?
November 14th, 2007 at 1:16 pm
November 14th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
how do u make that sighn? sigh. I loved this story vinyaya , we love ALL your stories.
November 14th, 2007 at 10:44 pm
biggrin.gif
plz update b4 u leave!!!
November 16th, 2007 at 2:05 am
November 22nd, 2007 at 10:57 pm
I found it hysterical.
November 24th, 2007 at 11:23 pm
this is a very good idea! please don’t leave, that would be
November 24th, 2007 at 11:27 pm
would you please continue? please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please with a big fat blob of whip cream on top?
November 25th, 2007 at 2:08 am
funny! sorry I don’t have a letter now, but I’ll write one later!!
December 9th, 2007 at 5:51 pm
I have a leter
Dear Artemis,
Artemis and Holly sittin’ in a tree K…I…S…S I…N…G
sincerly,
DemonWarlok
p.s.hi artemis
p.p.s.i love Holly
December 9th, 2007 at 7:13 pm
Dear people of the world,
I am your new ruler bow down to my greatness!!!! and you Artemis, stop picking your nose or you shall have it cut off!!!
sincerely,
your Queen
December 11th, 2007 at 5:01 am
FOALLY!!! I have invented a brain probing macine! Your tinfoil hat is futile! Prepare for my invasion! Mua ha ha!!! >:)
December 19th, 2007 at 1:32 am
Dear Artemis,
Who do you like better? Holly or Minerva? I would choose Holly. She is smart and has a youthful look about her. Also, that vampire look that you always give people is cool!
Sincerely,
MEPERSON
P.S. Kind Notice: Answer quickly or I will ROAST YOUR HEAD ON A SPIT!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S.S. Even Kinder Notice: I mean what I say and I say what I mean!!!!
December 19th, 2007 at 11:52 pm
To Vinyaya: When are you going to update? I mean, you have been gone for a while, and I really want to know when you are updating. Your story is great, but you need to update.
From,
HS9, otherwise known as Holly Short 99999999
December 22nd, 2007 at 3:08 pm
dear Artemis,
I’m crazy smart, really pretty, and your obviously single. wanna go out with me???
JK!!! I live in America and i suck
and long distance relationships which i know because one of my previous boy friends moved to mexico. didn’t work out. too bad though he was sooooooo cute and we had an awesome relationship!!! we could be friends though?
please reply!
with love, myself!
P.S.–
If u don’t reply im going to take a sword from my bro’s room and personally shove it up ur crack. And as far as Butler goes I’ll shoot him in the chest close range because it sure as hell seemed to distract him last time and if juliet tries to break my gun like she did with loafer’s i will pistol whip both of their a**’s until their damn knocked-out. And then I will run you down because i can effectivley run like hell when i want to (you obviously can’t)! Then i will pin you down and shove that sword up ur f***ing a** then cut your head off and use it as my trophy.
December 23rd, 2007 at 7:06 am
TOE JAM!!!!!! ARMANI BOXERS!!! HA HA HA *falls out of chair*
ROTFL!!!
December 24th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
guess how many letters i have to type up:
24!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
guess how many answers i have to type up:
24!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
guess how many reactions i have to type up:
24!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
guess how many glasses of lemonade i am going to need in order to do so:
3.5 billion
December 24th, 2007 at 10:32 pm
I don’t like therealanswer’s letter.
December 24th, 2007 at 11:59 pm
mmmmmmmm ..lemonade
December 25th, 2007 at 12:00 am
*cough* therealanswer…thats a bit of a crude letter dont u think?
December 27th, 2007 at 7:41 am
To Vinyaya: Take your time on updating this story(just do not take so long that we will have to wait forever). We really do not want you to be stressed out. By the way, do you really need 3.5 billion glasses of lemonade? You might have to go to the bathroom so many times, you might not be able to update. Besides, if it gets to sour, I do not think you will be able to update.
From,
HS9
December 27th, 2007 at 7:14 pm
Dear Minerva,
you scare me REALLY REALLY bad. your a genius and yet your still doing stupid things. also you look very ugly scaring the little children you tutor away from you. My advice for you to stop scaring people is to where a bag on your head for the ugliness and tie yourself to a chair so you don’t do anything bad. it’ll make the world so much better!
sincerely,
everyone (EVERYONE!!)
December 29th, 2007 at 1:46 am
Dear Artemis,
Do you have a mustache? What about a beard? I tried to see if you had one on the camera, but it was too far away to see. Obviously you don’t have one of those big bushy mustaches like the men in France, or else I would have seen it on the cam. Just wondering if you had one!
Your best friends in Russia,
The Mafia
December 29th, 2007 at 12:06 pm
ok. make that 26 letters/answers/reactions
and 3.7 billion glasses of lemonade.
yes i am a lemonade-aholic
December 31st, 2007 at 2:13 am
Dear Arty,
My sister has a crush on you, and was wondering if you would go on a date with her. Please respond quickly.
Your friend,
017350
January 10th, 2008 at 10:27 pm
btw don’t fear, i am just typing up all the responses on word then i will post them here. i promise!!
January 11th, 2008 at 1:48 am
I have one!
dearest Artemis, How did trouble react when you and Holly started dating? Is it true you have a six- pac?
How would you describe your relationship with your moher? What are your ntentions with holly short?
Cs 101
January 13th, 2008 at 5:40 am
To Vinyaya: The way you typed my letter, it made me seem….moody. Could you please change that? Please and thank you!
January 20th, 2008 at 12:49 am
Dear Artemis,
Have you been on the FanGathering Forum? There are rumors that you have been. By the way… DO you have any cheese in your fridge? I’m hungry.
- 017350, your favorite critic!
January 20th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Vinaya hear is a tip:copy then paste the letters on to ur page it is simple and quick!
February 2nd, 2008 at 9:33 pm
Dear Artemis,
I’ve really wanted this question answered for a long time: how did you manage to become a genius?Tell me your secret.
Your good friend,
ArtemisFowltheThird
P.S.I am of relation to you.
P.S.S.None of your business how I know!
February 2nd, 2008 at 9:51 pm
Dear Artemis,
You have the right to remain….BURNED!I’m going out with Minerva.I guess your too much of a retard to go out with her.
BURN!
ArtemisFowlSenior
P.S.BURN!
February 10th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
Dear Artemis,
See my previous letter. Change the cheese to bacon.
February 16th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
its not my stories, i am passing a message along!
February 28th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
[Complaint]: Come on, Vinyaya… We want more!
March 16th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Anyway, i miss u. i want u back so bad …
… hope that one works too …
March 18th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
This is the good stuff!! It is so something I would come up with or read!! I LOVE it!!!! haha
March 18th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
Dear Artemis and Holly,
So have you guys. . . done it. You know what I’m talkin’ about that thing that happens when you’re in love. C’mon am I going to have to type it!! Don’t make me do it!! Artemis you’re a genious you know what I’m talking about.
Your #1 Holly and Artemis Fan,
Sharp_Writer
(advice for the writer: u could have artemis reading the letter and then, holly come and peer over his shoulder. artemis will definitely be blushing. u can pick the exact reactions but omg i think that would be hillarious!!!!)
March 24th, 2008 at 2:08 am
From,
MylesandBeckett
March 24th, 2008 at 2:14 am
P.S.
Heres a letter for Artemis
I’ve pondered, do Myles and Beckett do anything “out of the ordinary”. If so, what do they do?
Best Regards,
MylesandBeckett
April 3rd, 2008 at 1:05 am
Artemis,
everyone tells me you are a snob. Is this true? Please give my best regards to
Holly, Myles, And Beckett.
Best Regards,
ArTeMiS FoWl FaN
P.S I do not belive what most people say.
May 1st, 2008 at 1:46 am
Dear Arty,
Haha, I called you Arty. So here’s a question: What do you think of Artemis Fowl shippers? It must be kind of crazy having people writing stories about you and your friends’ love lives. Do you even have fan fiction in Artemis Fowl-world? And why couldn’t your brother’s names be Ares and Hermes or something else to go with the Greek god theme? Have you ever done genetic experiments on people (like any of the People or a human)? Do you know if it’s possible for a Mud Man and a fairy to have a kid?
I’ll stop bothering you now. Give my best to Holly, Butler, Mulch, Foaly, your parents, your brothers… everyone except Minerva. Oh, fine, give it to Minerva as well.
Love from,
The Amethyst Riddle
May 1st, 2008 at 2:01 am
hi holly!
im a HUGE arty/holly fan. If you don’t hook up with arty, i might kill you. jk!
but seriously, if u hook up with TROUBLE (YUCKETH!) a lot of ppl will come looking 4 u. angry people. with pitchforks.
so i suggest u start dating artemis. best of luck!
P.S. this is what chix looks like!
sincerely,
songfic_freak
July 9th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Soooo funy
:D:D:D
Dear Artemis and Holly
I know that thear was meny leters that you two didn’t like and I personaly apoligisefor them.I am sorry of the chaildish beheivor of some of us fans, but doun’t bee upset for all ofd us likes you bouth.I houp that you will steiy togeder for ever. And bee happy, you deserv it the moust of all.
P.S.If you two breik up, I would bee disapointed of you Artemis.
P.S.S.Do you like your broders?
Your Admaerer
Ine Ven
July 11th, 2008 at 10:48 pm
That was hilarious! please continue!
Dear Artemis,
I know that you get a lot of people writing to you about your relationship with Holly, but I just gotta say, if you break up with her and start dating Minerva, you are seriously beging for trouble. I will know. The Arty-Cam is all-seeing. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
p.s. Minerva S-U-C-K-S!
~The Real Holly
July 16th, 2008 at 12:41 am
Omigod. LOL!
I SWEAR I am LAUGHING OUT LOUD RIGHT NOW!
LMAO
ROFLMAO
LOLLOLLOLLOL
sighhhhhhh
funny
ohhh I have a letter too
Dear Artemis,
Will you marry me? Just wondering…
Lots of Love,
Mitsuki, Manga Lover
August 11th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
Dear Juliet
i just wanted to ask if you had a crush on artemis? if you do your not the only one. i think i am in love with him and once i actually….. srry i was getting off track.
want to come to my house to practice some confu and **coughcouch** help me clean my pigsty of a room?
your fan/friend kierisa12
p.s do NOT refuse my offer
August 12th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Dear Angeline Fowl,
Do you like heroine, I mean, you have some sort of mad problems… like that time you started doing crack to help you stop drinking.
And I mean, you let Opal Koboi possess you in Artemis Fowl and the Time Paradox? How weak.
September 12th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
FUNNY!!!!Anywho,
Dearest Artemis Fowl The 2,
You may have a intellegent mind, and a high IQ, but it is less than mine.You must not take this as a insult, however. Trust me, It is a High complement, as some of my workers might say. We will have to come togeather to save the world in the future. I can see it. I know of all your doings, and what you are doing now, and will do in the future. Please, Don’t dismiss my letter. It will be of great impotance in the future. Farewell.
Ο μελλοντικός φίλος σας, The_Right_Girl
September 14th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
(P.S. Also, I, The_Right_Girl, am NOT from “The Other Dimension” I am from yours,Artemis Fowl The 2nd
Untill we meet in the future,
The_Right_Girl
October 1st, 2008 at 10:37 pm
Okay right_gir, that weird writing after “farewell” is that russion or greek or somthing and what does it mean? Also Vinyaya? Are you still here with us? I mean, I had heard rumors that you left the site but nobody has heard head nor tail from you in about 9 or 10 months that’s a little worrysome hope everythings okay wherever you are.
—best wishes, Artymon
P.S. you speak German?!?!? Sweet! I am taking a German II class. Ich hoffe du bist gut!
P.P.S. If you did leave the site, please tell us!!!
October 27th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Is it Greek? I thought it was either that or Russian cause they use those funny writing things
October 27th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Is it Greek? I thought it was either that or Russian cause they use those funny writing things
November 2nd, 2008 at 2:45 pm
that was hilarious! (your story inspired me to do one kinda like it, although I must say mine has a really strange story line)
Dear Juliet.
Have you ever had a crush on Artemis? I mean, your around him like, more than most girls. if not, then your the only girl I know who could NOT have a crush on him.
Kierisa12
p.s are Butlers even aloud to have crushes?
November 6th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Well, how else could Butlers get married and have kids to train into Butlers?
November 7th, 2008 at 2:56 am
hm, good point. They did say at one point that Juliet had a European Aisan gene blend…
November 8th, 2008 at 8:03 am
And she was born in America…
December 1st, 2008 at 9:41 pm
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
December 1st, 2008 at 9:58 pm
This is almost depressing reading these comments/reviews…..
I mean, we haven’t heard anything from you for nearly a year now….
College?
Job?
Trapped on an island with only a volleyball to talk to? (That happened to me once…)
Either way, I think I speak for everyone here when I say we all hope you’re doing well, wherever you are.
Just by chance you do come back,
Butler,
Do you remember a deal you made, thirteen years ago, with the AKA? It is time for us to meet again. You deal with our lord is now being called in…..
—current head of AKA
I don’t think the lives for a lot of people are fairing too well either….I certainly know that…..
December 2nd, 2008 at 9:03 pm
(Did you update this, or am I just going senile?) Either way….
Dear Artemis Fowl II,
You’re sick and tired of letters? If you agree, tell the man in the closet, “The apple falls at midnight.” He will give you a package that will shrink you down to the size of a mouse, then it will suck you into our universe.
Should not be irritated with the leters, tell the man in the closet, “Dein Hemd steht dir gut, aber wo is deine krawatte?” He will give you another letter. That one will explode.
—Artymon
P.S. If you can answer the question to this riddle, this letter will not explode. Riddle:
A man is found dead on a table, surrounded by 53 Bicycles, how did he die?
December 7th, 2008 at 2:21 am
Dear Artemis,
I have this one question to ask you. Do you have any plans in marrying Holly? Because that’s like, kinda wrong.(even though i have written stories about that. Teehee!) Anyway if you’re gonna atempt, do it like, now!
December 7th, 2008 at 2:35 am
Dear Arty,
I am the bounty hunter out to DESTROY artymon. Can you lend me a hand? The police station, MI6 and Asylum have a big fat reward I am willing to share.
~Pandora
December 7th, 2008 at 2:35 am
Artemis…. sorry about all these troublsome letter… it could be worse though. (trust me i know, be glad Artymon isnt on your tail) I know you may get mad but… I think its cool if you like Holly, Minerva is kinda a prat anyway.
Kierisa 12
December 7th, 2008 at 2:36 am
Minerva IS a brat, I have to admit, but there is no reason to loathe her for that!! Remember, I’m not a shipper.
December 7th, 2008 at 2:38 am
seriously!!!!!!!
December 7th, 2008 at 2:40 am
seriously, what?
December 7th, 2008 at 2:41 am
Seriously Minerva is a prat (got that from HP) it is prat not brat, prat is worse then brat. (plus its funner to say, prat prat prat prat! tee hee CHEESE
December 7th, 2008 at 5:08 am
Prat! Prah-at. P-R-A-T
Prat: Minerva Paradizo.
I suppose she’s tolerable, as long as she…never mind….*struggles for a subject change*…it’s…uh…interesting how…um…people have…eh….been commenting here?
December 7th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
seriously, i don’t know…
December 7th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Don’t know what?
December 28th, 2008 at 6:08 am
Phh! Hahahahahahahah! (lol) Heeehaeeeeeeeeh!
Sorry, coudn’t stop laughing!
December 28th, 2008 at 7:12 am
Well. Now that Send in the Mail is gone, we’ll have to go back to asking—scratch that—begging Vinyäya to update this. Maybe I’ll start my own…not a bad idea…
Either way,
Dear Holly,
Artemis will come to you with a tale of falling letters. Do not believe him; he is hallucinating.
—Angel of Death
§