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Fermata

Summary: Vinyaya's life is hectic enough with keeping peace in Haven. But when fate drops an unwanted burden in her lap, Vinyaya must learn where to draw the line between friends and family, when to hold on, and when to let go. -between TLC & TTP-

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6

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Reading Mode

Um… please don’t kill me. I got sucked into my Kingdom Hearts forum and my muse took a holiday. I am trying to force myself to write. Anyways, here it is– Chapter Six.

Plot Review Thus Far:

Vinyáya and Tieve have taken shelter with Minerva Paradizo. Minerva has left Chateau Paradizo with the two of them, not telling them anything about their destination. Spiro and Kong have made a trip to Marseille, France with the hopes of gathering more demon knowledge. Trouble has been offically charged with the task of hunting down Vinyáya.

Chapter Six: Crossroads
 

Marseille, France

Minerva stepped out of a cab, popping open the trunk to take out her ‘suitcase.’ She absently handed the driver the fee, walking to an imposing wrought-iron gate. Vinyáya shimmered into focus as the cabbie sped away, unwrapping the cam foil from around Tieve.
 
Minerva took a key out of her purse and unlocked the gate. She heard the two fairies behind her gasp. The entire estate was a rich garden, foliage overflowing in every crevice and cranny. There were vividly colored blooms competing with bright green leaves, specklings of small blossoms and deep crimson ivy slithering up trees. Cobblestone paths and stepping stones wove through the lush greenery. The only sound was the whisper of leaves and the creak of trees in the breeze, swirling crisp autumn leaves around their feet. It was an awe-inspiring sight: something that made you feel like a child.
 
Vinyáya’s eyes fell upon a patch of deep orange tiger lilies, and her breath froze solid in her throat. The edge of the patch was stomped on, as if a scuffle had taken place. Looking father, Vinyáya could see signs of a fight. Something terrible had happened here.
 
She heard a thump behind her—Minerva had fallen to her knees. She could just barely see a woman lying lifeless behind a clump of red flowers, her hair a shocking mirror of Minerva’s own. The traces of blood blended in with the crimson of the roses.
 
Mère.”
 

Police Plaza, Haven

Foaly was not in a good mood.
 
Maybe it had something to do with the wedding ring poking him in the side (he was planning to propose in a week). It could have been the fact that he was stuck on the dimensional equation. Maybe he hadn’t eaten enough breakfast this morning.
 
Or maybe it was the fact that Sool was mere inches away from his face, poking his odious little cane in Foaly’s gas screens, his face scrunched up like a troll’s while his devilish mind was churning up ways to put his best friends behind bars for life.
 
“You’ve tried getting a lock on her signal?” Sool asked, not caring enough to actually look at the centaur when he asked him a question.
 
Of course I did, idiot. “Yes, I tried. It was getting blacked out by something—we lost Vinyáya shortly after she left HQ.”
 
Sool sniffed. “I’m sure,” he drawled, making it obvious that he really wasn’t sure at all. “Have you checked the cam-cams?”
 
“They’re scanning as we speak, but picking her out would be like finding a needle in a haystack,” Foaly commented. “It would be best,” he ventured, “to send in Retrieval.”
 
“I didn’t ask what you think would be best,” Sool snapped. “Obviously, you’re not the one wearing the acorns here.” The gnome crossed to the other end of the Ops booth, pensive. Foaly got an uneasy feeling in his gut.
 
“I’m going to be frank with you, Foaly,” he said. Alarm bells went off—Sool called him by his name. Which meant that he was either being incredibly patronizing or he didn’t want to have reason for a jury to doubt him when this tape played back later. “The LEP isn’t sure if you’re acting in our best interest.”
 
“That’s completely false! I–”
 
Sool waved him away like a pesky fly. “I know that you and Vinyáya were fairly close, especially after Commander Root’s death. I can understand how such bonds could… cloud the mind.”
 
I’ll give you something to cloud your mind, Foaly seethed. “I’ve never given the LEP reason to doubt me,” he said, his voice miraculously even.
 
“True. But then again, why take the chance? The Council has voted to give you an assistant to help with tracking Vinyáya down. She’ll be here by lunchtime.”
 
If Foaly had been holding something, he would have dropped it. “What?!”

“She was quite happy to help,” Sool continued, obviously concealing his joy at finally being able to thwart his bitter enemy. “ ‘Anything for Foaly,’ she said.” Foaly forced himself to keep his mouth shut—if he opened it, he’d probably be eating a pink slip. Sool went on. “I think you know her… Caballine, I believe?”
 
At that moment, Foaly could have sworn that the heavens had opened up, choruses of angels singing down at him. “Ca-Caballine?” he managed.
 
Sool smiled. Obviously the gnome thought him too distressed to even form an insult. “Yes, Caballine. I’m sure you understand.”
 
Foaly tried to work up righteous indignation while rejoicing inside. “Sure. Whatever.”
 
Sool actually had the gall to rest a hand on his flank. “Glad you understand,” he said, Then he exited the room.
 
Foaly cantered over to the computer, blacked out Operation Booth’s tinted windows, and began to dance around the room like a loon. Caballine! They could be together all day, go jogging after work, laugh over lunch breaks– for a moment, he was a blushing foal again. Sool, idiot that he was, actually thought that Caballine would turn on him in hopes that she could snag her lover’s job.
 
“Well, Sool,” Foaly taunted to the imaginary commander, “there’s one more reason I’m glad I’m not you. I actually know that not everyone is as heartless as you.”
 
For the first time in six months, Foaly actually felt as if his life was looking up.
 

Marseille, France

Vinyáya was curled up in an enormous chair, its cushions swallowing the fairy. It was almost comical—almost. The serious expression on the commander’s face killed any hint of levity.
 
She absently cast her eyes down to the holographic screen projected by her helmet. Minerva Paradizo’s LEP file. The name “Helen Paradizo” glowed red, and Vinyáya felt her stomach clench. They had found the woman shot dead and left unceremoniously on the dirt, her partner in adultery on the other side of the grounds. Also dead. A terrified cat had shot out of the house when Minerva had unlocked the door, disappearing into the night.
 
Helen had left a few years after Beau Paradizo’s birth, running off with the groundskeeper. It was a terrible cliché, dumping a toddler and an impressionable child genius in the hands of Gaspard Paradizo. Beau did not remember much of his mother—a smile, a fuzzy memory—but Minerva was quite different. As far as Vinyáya could tell, Minerva had unofficially estranged herself from her adulterous parent and refused any type of contact whatsoever.
Vinyáya wanted to hit herself for her stupidity. It was so blaringly obvious now—Minerva had not wanted to talk about her destination in fear of having to admit ties to her mother. Someone with a bone to pick had murdered the pair, and now she was caught in the middle of a human homicide case, renegade with a demon in tow. It was her own fault—she had acted like a rookie and gotten herself into a mess.
 
Every scrap of police training was screaming at Vinyáya to leave. This was a human situation, and fairies should not get involved in human affairs. But something inside her kept her rooted in the larger-than-life chair. What if this wasn’t just a human vendetta? What if someone knew?
 
For Frond’s sake, Vinyáya, she chided herself. You’re as paranoid as Foaly. She would have killed to have five minutes with that centaur at this particular moment. Being stuck alone in a crisis with no intel at all was something that Vinyáya hadn’t had to do in five hundred years. She would have to do this the old fashioned way—with a gun at her side and a head on her shoulders. Who could have done this, and why?
 
As if on cue, Minerva entered the living room. “Entered” was too kind of a word, however. More accurately, she threw open the doors so hard that the handle dented the wall behind it. The French girl was clutching a sheaf of papers in her hand as if they were the murderers.
 
How could you?” she screamed, lapsing into French. “Look at what you’ve done, you and your stupid bureaucrats! This is an unforgivable lapse. You are unbelievable, you–”
 
“What in Frond’s name are you talking about?” Vinyáya shouted. “What happened?”
 
Minerva was shaking with rage. “They weren’t mind-wiped. Spiro and Kong. They’re running amok out there, and they’ll kill again–”
 
“Wait, what?” Then the penny dropped. “You think they–” Vinyáya felt the blood drain from her face. “D’arvit.”
 
“Swearing. That’s all you can do?” Minerva stalked over to the elf, her entire body taut. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to find comprehensible words in her anger. “Why were they not wiped?”
 
Vinyáya clenched her fists. “We can’t mind wipe the insane. Progressive fairy yuppies have been yammering about human rights and the LEP passed a bill protecting unstable minds being wiped. The science isn’t perfected yet and it could have disastrous effects on an abnormal brain. Spiro was diagnosed as insane. We’ve been trying to isolate Billy Kong to mind-wipe, but it’s been difficult to spare the personnel for an insertion team, plus the tight Taiwanese security in Green Island Prison.”
 
Minerva’s jaw dropped. “Human rights for terrorists?” she spat. “What’s next, salt licks for trolls? Taxicabs for felons?”
 
Vinyáya was at a loss. “I…” She sighed heavily. “I’m sorry about your moth–”
 
“She is not my mother.” Minerva’s voice was sharper than a knife and twice as deadly. “Don’t you ever say that again.”
 
The room was pin quiet for a moment. Vinyáya opened her mouth to speak when the door suddenly creaked open. Her hand flew for her Neutrino—
“Tieve?” Vinyáya pulled her hand back.
 
The demoness in question looked up, clutching a sheaf of paper in her hand. Minerva brushed past her and pulled open the door. “Wait!” The French girl paused, and Vinyáya met her eyes. “What are you going to do?”
 
A cold little smirk ghosted across her face. She had seen that smile on the face of Artemis Fowl during the siege—icy, arrogant, and ruthless. Vinyáya felt a chill skitter down her spine. “We’re going to steal back from Spiro what was mine,” Minerva said. Then she left. The door slammed shut behind her.
 
Tieve looked at Vinyáya. “What’s with her?” she said in perfect English.
 
 
 
Two hours later, the trio was in a private cab in a train that was much too jerky for Vinyáya’s taste—she felt like a lightning bug in a jar that some little kid was shaking. The whiteout button on Vinyáya’s LEP jumpsuit was continuing to come in handy, as it was blocking out the surveillance cameras in the car. Minerva had kept quiet for most of the trip, preferring to type notes into her laptop and scribbling what looked uncomfortably like floor plans in a tablet of graphing paper. Vinyáya took this brief respite to interrogate Tieve.
 
The commander slid over to the plush seat next to the demoness, who looked slightly uncomfortable. “So—you speak English?”
 
Tieve blushed crimson. “I—um—I guess so. Didn’t really know before.”
 
Vinyáya arched a brow. “You didn’t know.”
 
“It sort of just happened. But I couldn’t understand the lady at the train station.”
 
The elf thought for a moment, then groaned inwardly. Tieve’s magic was just beginning to blossom. And just like human hormones, magic took time to orient itself. The demoness’ magic would probably be flickering on and off for a year or two. This wouldn’t normally be a problem, but they were not in a normal situation.
 
Vinyáya sighed. “Your gift of tongues. It’s on the fritz—puberty.”
 
“What’s fritz? And what’s puberty?”
 
Vinyáya flushed a bit. Giving the ‘birds and the bees’ talk to a demoness was not something she had prepared for when waking up this morning. “Nevermind. It just means that your magic won’t work all the time. So you will be able to understand people sometimes.”
 
Tieve thought on this for a moment, chewing her lip. “I never learned English. They read the females Lady Heartherington Smythe in Gnommish.”
 
Sexist, Vinyáya wanted to shout. But then again, they had been stranded in time for a millennium. What did she expect?
 
Minerva motioned the pair to her, focused on the glowing screen of her laptop. “I’ve got our plan,” she said, unable to keep a hint of smugness out of her voice. Teenage genii.
 
“Great,” Vinyáya said dryly. “Care to share it?”
 
“Parts,” Minerva said brusquely, the insult rolling of her back like water off a rain slicker. “We don’t have much time to memorize, so no need to go any more in detail then necessary, oui?”
 
Vinyáya rolled her eyes. “Glad to see you have so much faith in us.”
 
“There are perfect plans, but certainly not perfect people.”
 
“That sounds like someone I know.”
 
Minerva’s mouth turned up a bit at the edge. “Great minds think alike. Sometimes, at least. Artemis had the same idea.”
 
Vinyáya detected a very subtle change in her voice when she said “Artemis,” and filed that tidbit of information away for later. She did not need teenage girl hormones messing up an already delicate situation. Although for someone who’s mother just died, Minerva seemed fairly calm. Their relationship must have been rocky at best. But no matter what the girl said, Vinyáya couldn’t believe that the death of parent hadn’t left more of a mark. Too many questions and too few answers.
 
“All right then, let’s hear this brilliant plan,” Vinyáya said. Then she switched to Gnommish. “Tieve, did you catch any of that?”
 
The demoness shook her head. Her gift was out. Lovely. “Pauses so that I can translate, please.”
 
Minerva scowled. “It would have been nice if she’d told me earlier than she could understand French.”
 
“Well, to a thirty-year-old, you can be a little intimidating.”
 
Minerva decided to let the comment slide. She pulled up a window on the computer screen, plugging in a fiber optics cable to Vinyáya’s helmet into a port. A 3D floor plan flickered into life through the helmet lens. “We are headed for Lyon, third-largest city in France. Lyon is famous for its silk, gastronomy, and cinema. I believe that this is where Spiro and Kong are hiding.”
 
Vinyáya gave her a quizzical look. “The headquarters of Interpol is in Lyon. Do you really think they’re crazy enough to camp there?”
 
“It is not that hard to believe,” Minerva replied. “Spiro is already clinically insane, and Mousier Kong is surely close.”
 
“Crazy, surely, but stupid?”
 
The blonde shrugged. “Perhaps not. The LEP wouldn’t want to stage a retrieval in the middle of international authority headquarters. Even the best fairy cover-up would still be thoroughly scrutinized. And Spiro thinks that we won’t try anything too risky, knowing that mistake means death or fairy exposure.”
Vinyáya felt an uneasy rolling in her gut. “He thinks we won’t.”
 
Minerva smiled, showing her teeth. “But we will.”
 
“You’re making me nervous.”
 
“Good,” Minerva said. “The madder this is, the more of a chance we have that Spiro has not calculated for it.” She turned back to the computer. “Now, back to the plan. I’ve hacked into French databases and found that office space was recently rented out to two suspicious characters. Satellite has shown them to be Kong and Spiro. They are currently on the eighteenth floor of this building. No one is using the floors above them, but all of the lower spaces are filled.”
 
Vinyáya paused, relaying bits and pieces to Tieve. After several moments, she signaled Minerva to continue.
 
“We are going to go to this building, then split up. I will walk up like the normal human I am, and you and Tieve will fly up the building in cam foil. I can get into the main foyer, to Spiro’s computer lab.”
 
“How do you plan to do this?”
 
“What does it matter?” She shrugged, her blonde curls bouncing. “I’ll get there.”
 
Vinyáya snorted, as if commenting just how much faith she had in the French’s petite little figure in a fight. Minerva ignored her and went on. “Tieve will find a suitable hiding place. I will keep Spiro and Kong busy while you send a data charge I have created into the computers. It will burn anything that Spiro has created, whether it is on a local hard drive or once on the Caymans. Rather distressing for him. Then, after a quick search for the safe, you will go back to Tieve.”
 
More translation. “All right, Mud Girl,” Vinyáya said. “What then?”
 
Minerva leaned forward conspiratorially. “Once you have rejoined with Tieve, you will give me a signal—flash your helmet light, break a vase. Whatever. Then, Tieve will send is exactly ten seconds into the past. Spiro and Kong go looking, we reappear when they are gone, and walk out unharmed.” She leaned back, pleased with herself.
 
Vinyáya’s jaw dropped. “You want her to what?”
 
“I know it is illegal in fairy laws,” the girl said, “but since we are not currently bound by them I–”
 
“No way. There is absolutely no way. It’s not only illegal but immoral and dangerous. Think up another plan.”
 
Minerva scowled. “There is no other plan. We’re about as bulletproof as spongecake, unless you happen to have full-body Kevlar suits tucked away somewhere. I don’t think they want to sit down for cookies and tea.”
 
Tieve tugged on Vinyáya’s sleeve, curious as to what the fuss was about. “There has to be another way,” Vinyáya said. The desperation in her voice repulsed her.
 
“There isn’t,” Minerva said simply. “We can go with either certain death or only possible death. Your choice.”
 
And that wasn’t a choice at all.
 
 
 
Three hours later, they had arrived in Lyon. Minerva was crouched in a clump of bushes, sorting out a few pieces of equipment she’d picked up in a hardware store. I need to purchase a car, she thought idly. All this skulking around in shrubbery wasn’t doing wonders for her dignity. She’d rather be in the back of some limousine—with Butler in the front, reassuring her.
 
The bodyguard had become one of the closest things Minerva had to a friend shortly after Artemis’ disappearance—which was surprising, really. In addition to being responsible for the disaster, Minerva and the huge Eurasian had only their tenacity in common. She supposed he’d felt sorry for her; it was the only reason she could imagine why he stuck around. But in any case, Butler soon began inviting her over during holidays. Minerva vaguely wondered if he’d finished To Kill A Mockingbird yet.
 
Vinyáya’s voice snapped her back to reality. “Ready, Mud Girl?”
 
“I don’t call you Fairy Woman, do I?”
 
“I think it’d be a compliment,” the elf retorted, slinging on a backpack. She checked her watch. “It’s 4:12. I’m going up. Three minutes, and you enter.” She activated the cam foil and was gone within a few seconds.
 
You don’t need to tell me my own plan, Minerva thought irritably. The first shivers of fear had began to flutter in her stomach. This was different than when Kong had attacked her father—there had been no option to run away. She didn’t know what exactly she had been getting into. But now… this was something she had planned intricately. She knew exactly the reception that was waiting for her—dangerous men with guns, ready to squeeze her for information before they killed her. Surely anyone would be nervous, Minerva tried to reassure herself. It’s perfectly normal.
 
If only Butler was at her side. But he couldn’t help her now—no one could. Her own fate rested on her own shoulders now. For perhaps the first time in her life, Minerva not only felt alone but was alone. Truly and completely.
The watch on her wrist flashed gently. 4:15— time to go.
 —

Please, please reivew. Let me know that I still have people reading…

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6

Comments on This Post

43 responses to “Fermata.” Join in!

  1. The_Right_Girl October 5th, 2008 at 4:12 pm 1

    *First comment dance*
    THE BESTEST STORY EVER!!!!!!!!!!
    Write more soon!
    God bless you. It’s nothing to sneeze at.
    The_Right_Girl

  2. AWSOME! A 4!

  3. I loved it. 😀
    I read part of it on the forum, but I never read the second part.
    My only suggestion would be to start a new paragraph every time a new person talks. It just makes it neater and easier to read.

    Other than that, update soon!

  4. This is great. I think there’s so much potential for fanfics with this sort of setting, but this is the first one I’ve read. I’ve always thought your writing was excellent, so there’s nothing new to say in that area, but I like how you’ve established the different characters personalities yourself without being inconsistent with the book. And Tieve is already really interesting.
    So yeah- great job!

  5. Wonderful! Just so good!

  6. demon_obsession offln October 9th, 2008 at 8:27 am 6

    brilliant! please write some more; you impressed just about everyone 😀

  7. “Two: Sool had ordered him “to keep his civilian nose out of demon business.” How could he resist a dare like that?”

    Classic Foaly. 😀

    I don’t see the weird bold part, but your author’s note is repeated several times. Does just erasing it work?

    Anyways, great chapter. 😀
    I love the whole Vinyaya/Root conflict. Though, her reactions to Root seem inconsistent. She dreams about him, but when Foaly compares her to Root she doesn’t have any reaction? I would’ve expected her to react ever so slightly.
    Or maybe not.

    I love Vinyaya’s characterization. She’s like Holly enough that I can see her as Holly’s role model, but she’s still her own character.
    The Billy Kong thing is friggen awesome. He’s a scary villain because he’s just so determined. He thinks demons killed his brother.
    In his own mind he’s probably the hero…

    Fantastic chapter. 😀
    I can’t wait for updates!

  8. Thanks for the heads-up, Opal. I think I got it fixed.

    As for Vinyaya’s non-reaction– I think I accidentaly underplayed it. I may go in and fix that. Root and Vinyaya’s relationship will continue to be a theme, though– I love Root way too much to forget about him!

    Kong will be back– along with a friend. Hint: there’s some foreshadowing to who it will be. If you know, don’t say it publicly… PM me. XD

    Thanks for the crit!!

  9. I’m so glad you updated!

    Once again, I agree with Opal (someday, I’ll comment before her and be able to say what I think without feeling like I’m copying her).

    I really love how you write Foaly… and I am also extremely thankful for the reappearance of his tinfoil hat. 😀

    It’ll be good to see more of Kong too; I think it was a good choice to bring him back. I feel like he was underused in the actual book.

  10. Wooh, to new chapterness. 🙂
    It was /so/ sweet.
    And now No. 1 has someone to love when he gets back. 🙂
    Poor Vinyaya, and poor Root.
    I love your characterization of Minerva! She’s not outright evil and she’s not perfect in every sense. You get the balance, which is great. Fanfiction authors seem to have trouble with that.
    I wanna know what happens! XD
    I can’t wait for your update.

  11. I love it! It’s exactly as Eoin Colfer would write it! Where does the title come from? This story is awesome! Update! 5\5!

  12. Julissa Holly Fowl October 27th, 2008 at 12:22 am 12

    This story is as close to perfect as a fanfic can get. I am amazed! The way you wrote is so realistic. I can picture the whole thing happening. The way you wrote about Vinyáya’s photos and memories is my favorite part. I couldn’t find a single error in the whole story. 5/5 (I’d rate 10/5 if I could 🙂 )

  13. My opinion is that you should add more paragraphs, like, short ones. I really got a bad headache.

    Otherwise? Okay. Nice.

  14. Greeneyedgenius November 3rd, 2008 at 7:45 am 14

    This is the best fan fiction I have ever read. I am sick of reading all of these shipping fictions. I love reading stuff that blends in so well with the books. You are doing an amazing job! I’m sitting here on my iPod dreading the fact that there is only one chaptr left!

    I love how you incorporated the part with Vinyaya and Root! I almost cried! Amazing!

    Hey, are there any good fanfics that you would recomend? Email me @ greeneyedgirl247@yahoo.com.

  15. Quoting Blackadder? You’re like Cassandra Clare! Haha.

    Minerva’s? Je pense?

    “The flare caught their tiny pod, spinning them like socks on a washing machine. Then the fins caught, leveling them upright as they shot upwards at thousands of klicks per hour.”

    You used caught twice really close together.

    Okay, that was my lamely trying to find some crit to make my review less useless.
    Eh, I might as well just say:

    Update!!!!1!!!111oneoneelventy!!!!!
    Awesomeness chapter. 🙂 I loved all of the action, it was so well written.

  16. Target Aquired November 5th, 2008 at 4:42 am 16

    Thanks for reviews, guys. BlackOpal– thank you doubly for pointing that out!! I get writing too quickly sometimes and gloss over stuff like that.

    I don’t really know how long this story is going to go… 20+ chapters. I don’t know. XD

    Helen– If the paragraphs are bothering you, I’d try reading it on Fanfiction.net. The spacing is much wider and it’s less of a big block of text. 🙂

    Thanks to new reviewers Helen, Greeneyedgenius, Julissa, and Evil Opal!

    Target Aquired

  17. OK. You know I’m a total fan of you Challenge entries. But this this is the first time I’m ever sampled your fan fiction. (Or any fanfiction on the FG for that matter.)
    I have nothing negative to say about this. I really admire the way your work reads in the “Colfer voice” that not even actual AF really reads in anymore. I wish I knew how you do it. On an unrelated note, I really like the soundtrack idea.
    You’re blazing new trails here. 😉

    I’ll be keeping a lookout for updates.

  18. Chapter 1 review: AWESOME!!! SO descriptive! I loved all of the quips, allusions, and metaphors(especially the shark smelling the wounded animal one) It seems as though this could have really happened in the official story; it’s that good! *YAAAWWN* Well, it’s late. I’ll read the rest tommorrow.

  19. “Tieve was giving her pixie eyes.” HA!
    Once again, I love all the details and also I think the characters are brilliantly spot on, and I’m going to read chapter 4 now.

  20. greeneyedgenius247 November 15th, 2008 at 12:00 am 20

    This is the best AF fanfiction ever. You have to write more when you have the time!

  21. Amazing, amazing, amazing! Keep write-write-writing, I have this insane need to know why Vinyaya should have done so much abject begging and all that. Excellent story, a growth on Eoin COlfer’s own tree, which is definitely a massive compliment. (Btw, I’m a born-again Christian too, thumbs up to the admission and the no-swearing policy!!!) May you retain your throne in Editor’s Choice forevermore.

  22. Yes, I know, thanks. I checked on Fermata, and it means … halt? Hold? or what??? I got a headache reading the rest, I couldn’t stop. I hate the small print, it’s making me squint, and it may be worsening my eyes, but don’t imagine thngs like that. Just think how big a compliment I’m giving you. To think! I risked a lot just to read the rest!

    Er, just joking. I’m not really going blind, I just wear specs.

    I wish you would update soon, I’m getting a bit bored waiting for you. Just to hurry you…

    UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE OR I’LL LET YOU SEE HOW NICE AND SHINY MY THUMBSCREWS ARE!!!

    *Smiles sweetly* Now, why don’t you go and update now?

  23. Hey, I read chapter 6 on ff.net but I forgot to review so I might not review there until tomorrow (xXBeetle Of DestinyXx) so I would just like to say that it was brilliant and I can’t wait for more (and I’m really glad that you took it off hiatus – at least temporarily :P)

  24. Alanna-Lena Zelen December 31st, 2008 at 3:22 am 24

    PLEEEEEEESSSE! keep writing. I’ts so interesting that I think that it could oneday be published. So please keep writing!

  25. partyonsoccerfan February 16th, 2009 at 4:07 pm 25

    extremly awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! keep writing(or typing?)!

  26. Target Aquired February 17th, 2009 at 2:12 am 26

    Definitely! To all readers– Fermata is now continued in Fermata (Part II). Scroll up and see my other stories to get to it!

  27. RandomReaderGuy May 27th, 2009 at 11:48 am 27

    Hi there Target Aquired.

    Here are my thoughts for the story:
    It’s actually quite a nice story, imaginative yet faithful to the series. Good idea for bringing back Spiro and Kong.They were too underused for villains and colorful characters There are just a one thing I’d like to criticize.
    1. Spiro having an intellect?!? He was clever, but not a hacker-type clever.He was a corporate criminal. I thought that was obvious. He was a richandruthless-type of guy. Not a tehcno guy.

  28. O.k. I just wish there was a artemis fowl or even a Butler or Holly in the story.

  29. Princesta Joob Joob October 30th, 2009 at 5:14 am 29

    You STILL have people reading 😀

  30. I would like to note that I do not like the Eion style on anyone other than Eion himself. It feels like your trying to mock him. But don’t take my notes personly. I would critize even the perfect writing, unless it was by Eion, who I truly love/admire+infinity.

  31. bookygirl1996 March 6th, 2010 at 2:41 pm 31

    WOW Artemis Fowl has become my ‘book of the moment’ and therefore I think of the book EVERY living second of the day. And I actually got the series confused with “Fermata” for a moment. You have real potential. I dream of being as good a writer as you are.

  32. WOW! I just read your 6 chapter and I think that your story is Aswome, I made a story to but their is no AF in it. Update or fear my wrath.

  33. Firestar101- “update or fear my wrath” is Hermione Fowl’s thing. Also, I’m guessing you read Warriors(hmm, what gave it away?). Anyway I like this fanfic, espicicially the title, Fermata. Do you play an instrument? It’s interesting and now that there’s three people with a grudge against Artemis… Heheheh.
    To part II…

  34. if I find out that you kidnapped Eoin Colfer, there will be h*** to pay. Seriously, thats how good you are. keep it up :):):)

  35. i can picture tieve as a small girl that looks like me

  36. BoboParadizo May 21st, 2011 at 1:41 am 36

    Amazingly amazing…i always wondered what happen to those other enemies that artemis made…i’m just glad you didn’t make opal your villian…but i’m guessing spiro and kong will double cross each other

    Oh, and PLEASE UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  37. FantasyDevourer May 24th, 2011 at 4:33 am 37

    Just read the first chapter, it’s AMAZING!!!! I will read the rest tomorrow, but I love how you follow Vinyaya, who was one of the minor-ish characters in the books. I can’t quite picture a demoness, maybe a normal kid with scales instead of skin? Am I right? 😛
    Maybe when I read the rest I’ll see. Well, keep up the great stories!!! 🙂
    P.S. For once, Opal isn’t the ‘bad guy’ 🙂

  38. brilliant

  39. WOW THAT WAS AMAZING THE BEST STORY EVER!!!!!!

    I one time had a dream that vinyaya and julius were married and frond ws their dautghter!?!?!? im i crazy!!??

    Wow, pretty irrelevant comment. Nonetheless, try not to spam/doublepost. ~WE

  40. The author is gone :Sad:

  41. FowlsGirl123 July 6th, 2011 at 3:17 am 41

    wow. i just read the first chapter, and it is so good! it seriously sounds exactly like it just came out of one of Eoin’s books! so good! There were a few annoying things like not indenting when appropriate, but it was otherwise great! awesome! keep going!

  42. Oh gwad…. Target please come back!!! If your just reading this over. You need to come back, I’ve read both parts and you leave everyone on a cliff hanger!!! You need to finish it please!!! If you do I’ll make you your own shoe! Please! I need this story, no one would be able to finish it besides you. You make it sound soooo much like Colfer! Please… *A tear rolls down cheek* I need you, no we all need you to come back……

  43. themegamastaspeed October 30th, 2011 at 12:08 am 43

    dang you should use some naruto stuff

    Try to include constructive criticism in your reviews. I know you’re new here, just saying ^^ There’s a guide if you want to see it. ~WE

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