You are here: Home » FanFiction » Fermata

Fermata

Summary: Vinyaya's life is hectic enough with keeping peace in Haven. But when fate drops an unwanted burden in her lap, Vinyaya must learn where to draw the line between friends and family, when to hold on, and when to let go. -between TLC & TTP-

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6

33 votes, average: 4.45 out of 533 votes, average: 4.45 out of 533 votes, average: 4.45 out of 533 votes, average: 4.45 out of 533 votes, average: 4.45 out of 5 (33 votes, average: 4.45 out of 5)
You need to be a registered member to rate this post.
Loading...

Reading Mode

 

Hey guys! The next chapter is here, and everything is getting ready for the story to really begin. Again, the songs are not necessary to listen to, but strongly reccommended. That said, on with the show!

Chapter Three: The End of the Beginning
Soundtrack: August Rush – Bari Improv ( SoundTrack )

Soundtrack: August Rush – Bari Improv ( SoundTrack )http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LL7mZG9v3H8

Château Paradizo, France

Minerva Paradizo tapped her fingers against the desk, deep in thought. The tapping was soft—a thumping, not a clicking sound like long, manicured nails make when rapped against a table. She had always had a contempt for stick-on nails. They were good for absolutely nothing and got in the way while typing. Minerva’s nails were much like herself—well-kept and short. As in short-tempered: at the moment, Minerva was growing more and more irate with herself. Which was better than usual, where she just got irate with others. Since the Fowl incident, Minerva had been trying harder to keep her volatile temper in check.“Minnie, Daddy wants you.”Easier said than done.“Beau, don’t call me Minnie. Tell Father I’m busy.”

“Minnie Minnie Minnie Minnie–”

Beau!”

She could hear his footsteps as he scurried down the hall, giggling to himself. Minerva rubbed her temples and turned her attention back to the screen. After working three days, she had finally made a breakthrough on the temporal spell. It was all theory, of course, and the last thing Minerva wanted to do was to go to Foaly on naught but theory. She rolled the fairy communicator around in her palm absently, tugging at a corkscrew curl. On the other hand, if she was correct (and she hadn’t been wrong yet), then Foaly needed to know as soon as possible, if not sooner.

Minerva placed the communicator on the table and pressed a small button. “Call Foaly,” she enunciated.

Vinyáya’s Flat, Haven

Vinyáya wiped a bit off egg yolk off her face. “Okay, we got the eggs. Now what?”
Tieve looked at the box. “It says to mix thoroughly.”

The shopping trip yesterday had yielded some interesting results, including a box of instant pancakes—just add eggs, buttermilk, and margarine. Except for the fact that Vinyáya didn’t exactly have buttermilk lying around the house, so regular skim had went in instead. Making instant pancakes was the closest thing that Vinyáya had done to cooking in two decades. She poured a circle of batter into a hot griddle, listening to the hiss and crackle with no small satisfaction. “Okay, so we flip it in three minutes?”

”Mm-hmm.”A comfortable silence fell. Tieve was still reclusive and quiet, but not as fearful as before. However, as soon as the pair was joined by other fairies, she would stare at her toes until they left. They were due to Police Plaza in an hour and a half for the results of Tieve’s IQ test, which had actually taken four hours instead of two and a half. Vinyáya couldn’t help but be nervous—any abnormality or special talent Tieve had meant that she was that much closer to Sool taking over care of the demoness. Which was possibly the worst thing that could happen.

Vinyáya flipped the pancake. “Tieve, would you set the table?”“What’s ‘setting the table?’”

“It’s when you put all of the plates and cups and silverware you need on the table to eat.”

“Oh, okay.” There was silence for a minute. “What’s silverware?”

Vinyáya came up along Tieve’s side, taking out a knife, fork, and spoon. “The long, pointy one is a knife.”

“It looks different than the ones I’ve seen.”

Vinyáya could imagine what kind of knives war-hungry demons would tote around. “This knife is just for cutting food. Then the fork is for picking food up, and the spoon is for liquids.”

Tieve picked up each utensil, turning it over in her hands. “Why do they call it silverware? It’s not silver.”

Vinyáya slid the pancake onto a plate, cutting it in half. “I guess it used to be made out of silver.”

Tieve picked up her plate and sat at the table. Vinyáya sat also, cutting off a small corner of her pancake with her knife. The girl mimicked her actions, watching carefully. The pancakes, surprisingly, weren’t all that bad. Sure, they were a little charred at the edges—but better than grubs. Surely.

Vinyáya’s pager buzzed at her hip. She flipped it open. “Foaly? What’s the situation?”

“Emergency Council meeting. We need you here now.”

“Right.” Vinyáya rose from the table, snatching up her helmet. “Tieve, you stay here, okay? I’ll lock you in. I shouldn’t be any longer than two hours.”

“Um–”

Vinyáya tugged at her boots and ran a comb through her tangled hair. It was times like these where she wanted to get a Holly Short buzz cut. “Here’s the computer. You can find some piano music on there, okay? Page me if you need anything.”

It was only when Vinyáya was on the tram that it occurred to her that Tieve probably had no idea what a pager was. Or how to use a computer. D’arvit.

Operations Booth, Police Plaza

“So when you recalculate for dimensional flux,” Foaly said, tapping the screen, “the entire equation changes. The new dimensional equation is here.” He tapped a few keys and another formula appeared.

Chairman Trapini rested his chin on his hand. “And what does this mean for us?”

Foaly looked slightly shocked. “Um… well, I’m in the middle of calculating how this will affect Captain Short’s materialization, but the figures aren’t quite complete.”

Sool was irate. “We already have too much on our plates, centaur. We don’t need to meet every time you tie your shoes.”

Centaurs don’t wear shoes, stupid. Foaly ejected the disk. “Fine.”

The Council began to file out. Foaly caught Vinyáya’s arm. “Wait a minute.”

“What, Foaly?” she said, exasperated. “I’ve got a demon waiting at home.” He pulled her into the Operations Booth and after a quick glance outside, locked the door. “Foaly, for Frond’s sake–”

“This is huge, Vinyáya!” he hissed. “I called that meeting so that I could get you here without arousing suspicion.”

Her eyes narrowed. “And what exactly would we be suspicious about?”

Foaly brought up several windows. “I dug up some old demon information. I think that Tieve is a sorceress.”

Vinyáya’s eyes widened. “Evidence?”

Foaly sat down in his specially modified chair. Vinyáya followed suit. “All right,” Foaly whinnied. “Demon magic functions differently than ours, and it’s much more powerful. Fairies use the frontal lobe of the brain for magic. The frontal lobe is associated reasoning, planning, emotions, problem solving—the part of the brain that is more developed and capable of higher thought. When fairies cast, they focus on emotion and planning. But demons,” Foaly pointed at a diagram of the brain on the screen, “their magic is housed in the temporal lobe. The temporal lobe deals with auditory stimuli, memory, and speech. Music.”

The puzzle pieces were slowly coming together. “So demons are musical?”

Foaly chuckled. “Only the magical ones.”

“Magical, musical demons.” Vinyáya said flatly.

“Magical warlocks and sorceresses, to be gender specific. The warlocks—males with a magical gift—use their magic by chanting, mainly bass and tenor tones. They lead an a cappella choir of voices that they summon magically. Like the voice layers of the mesmer, except many times more powerful and the magic can be used for other purposes than hypnosis.” Foaly called up another picture on the screen, bringing up a demoness. “Now, the female brain is different than the male brain.”

Vinyáya rolled her eyes. “Such as, we don’t find farting hilarious while men do?”

Foaly sniggered. “Right. For a demoness, they don’t chant. They sing. A sorceress may use her own voice or instruments. After playing an instrument once, a sorceress can conjure all the tones that she played herself. So if a sorceress plays twelve notes on the violin, she can conjure those exact notes anytime she likes. Sorceresses back up their own voice with their own personal band. They can layer their voices also, but much less than that of a warlock. Usually, the maximum number of layers is three.”

The commander grew pale. “So Tieve… her music… a sorceress?”

“That’s what I believe. She didn’t score unusually high or low on the IQ test. This is the only other plausible option.”

Vinyáya drummed her fingers against the keyboard. “So, what do we do?”

“Keep this quiet. If Sool gets wind of this, he’s going to be chewing nails and spitting tacks. I was planning to inform Trouble Kelp, so we can have some additional LEP support if need be.” Foaly leaned in. “Vinyáya, there’s more at stake here than careers. That girl has no training at all. If her magic is triggered and she can’t control it…” Foaly shrugged. “We don’t know how powerful she is.”

Vinyáya kneaded her forehead. This was one of the many times that she wished that Julius was here. She could picture him: leaning against the keyboard with a cigar clamped between his teeth, barking orders. Confident. Rough. Determined. He’d jab at the screen with his cigar, and Foaly would make some comment about expensive technology, and Root would promise to slash his budget and move on to scaring the pointy ears off some hapless intern—

“Vinyáya?”

The commander shook herself. “What?”

Foaly quirked a hairy brow. “You’re sure you can handle this?”

Vinyáya stood, pulling on her helmet. “The next time you ask me that,” she said, “you’ll be eating your own hooves.”

Chicago Read Mental Health Center, Illinois, United States

Jon Spiro had always been fascinated with the mechanical. So something like picking a lock wasn’t difficult– especially when you had a spool of fine-toothed razor wire to help.Spiro threaded the wire into the lock, twisting it deftly. No respectable asylum would use mechanical locks. Luckily for him, he didn’t have any children who cared much to house him in the “best” of care. He walked down the long tiled hall, brushing past a security guard with a dart stuck into his neck. Some kind of sedative, probably non-lethal. Spiro didn’t know and he really didn’t care. After dismantling the security keypad, he pushed open the steel double doors and breathed in, filling his lungs with smoggy Chicago air. It had been months since he had smelled something other than antiseptic and cleaner. Months he intended to beat out of a few people.There was a nondescript sedan idling in the drive. Spiro opened the door and slid inside, taking stock of his surroundings. The driver wore black sunglasses and an earpiece. In the passenger seat was Carla Frazetti, with matching shades and the typical black power suit. In the seat across from him was a small man, lithe and agile-looking. His hair had more colors than a bowl of Fruit Loops and more spikes than a porcupine. “Billy Kong, I’m assuming.”Kong flashed a grin that was neither warm nor inviting. “Spiro. Glad you see you could make it.”

Spiro grabbed a bottle of water from a hidden cooler, unscrewing the cap. “Well, your offer was tempting. Thanks for the razor wire, by the way.” He took a long drag of the water. “So,” he said, grinning with a trace of madness that sent chills down Carla’s spine, “how do you know Fowl?”

Vinyáya’s Flat, Haven

Vinyáya jammed her chip into the door, disabling the dozen alarms. Thoughts buzzed around her head like bees. Did Tieve know? What about the piano, could that trigger anything? Vinyáya felt like she was staring down the barrel of a cannon and couldn’t see the fuse. Like she was simply idling around to see if it blew up in her face.She pushed open the door. “Tieve? I’m back.”There was no reply. Vinyáya’s blood pressure kicked up another notch as she hurried up the stairs. Stupid. Why didn’t you just bring her along? D’arvit, d’arvit—

Vinyáya let out a breath of relief when she saw Tieve’s dark hair, bobbing along with an invisible beat. “Tieve? Everything okay?”
The girl exploded out of the chair and was onto Vinyáya before she could get out another world. “Vinyáya, I found all this—and there’s this thing, a guitar—and the keys of a flute—and this amazing sound—and Youtube!”
Tieve seemed to have forgotten her shyness and was bouncing around like a child—the child that she is, Vinyáya reminded herself. “One thing at a time,” the commander said, chuckling a bit in spite of herself. Tieve grabbed Vinyáya’s hand and led her to the computer.

“There’s so many instruments!” Tieve said, navigating to Youtube. Vinyáya furrowed her brow.

“You have a Youtube account? Wait, when did you even learn to use the computer?”

Tieve shrugged. “I watched the centaur. I kind of just clicked things until I got here.” She opened up her Favorites panel and searched through the thumbnails. Vinyáya’s jaw dropped and she glanced at her watch. She’d been gone an hour and a half. Tieve had 245 videos favorited.

The girl opened up a video and grabbed a guitar from a stand next to a futon. Vinyáya couldn’t help but feel a tiny pang of guilt—it had been a 400th birthday present from Julius Root. She’d never gotten around to taking lessons. Tieve caught Vinyáya’s expression and paused, immediately contrite. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have–”

“No, no,” Vinyáya amended. “Someone in this house has got to play it.”

Tieve smiled. She set the guitar down onto the floor so the neck was parallel to her, facing to the left. After a moment, she found the cord to the amplifier and carefully plugged it in. “I saw this guy playing and it was really cool. He did it different than other people.” Leaning over, she pressed the PLAY button. The video sprang to life, with picture sharper and sound deeper, thanks to Foaly.

One of Tieve’s hands thumped the guitar flat on the neck, sending the strings twanging against the smooth wood. The sound reverberated through the room, each individual string with a sound unlike that of its peers. Yet they all blended to form one collective sound, something new and unexpected. Tieve thumped the guitar again, and again, her head bobbing with a rhythm that Vinyáya herself could feel. She couldn’t help but grin.

Tieve launched into her song, playing in time perfectly with the video. Her small fingers danced over the strings, coaxing and teasing the sound out. It seemed to fill the entire room, the entire apartment, the block, and all of Haven itself. Individual notes sang out from the quieter chords in the background, almost mimicking the sound of the piano. Tieve’s hands slid over the strings, her entire body leaning into the music as if it was alive and embracing her like an old friend. Maybe it was. Vinyáya watched as Tieve closed her eyes, feeling the steel strings against her armored hands as if they had been there all her life. Her nails rubbed and plucked the thin wires, creating a waving reverb that meshed perfectly with the throaty backdrop of the chords that she created with each rap on the guitar neck. She launched into the main phrase again, intertwining melodies that seemed simple and complex at the same time. Some of the sounds shone through, others were barely audible clicks and twangs that you could hear only if you concentrated. It was intricate, it was simple.

It was over. Abruptly, Tieve smacked the neck once more, letting the sound linger. There was silence, as though all other noise had given up even trying to top what had just been heard. Vinyáya stood for a moment, trying to come back down to earth. She saw Tieve smiling up at her. “What’d you think?”

Vinyáya thought, trying to come up with an adjective. “It was astounding.”

Vinyáya decided that she had cooked enough for the day (instant pancakes for breakfast and ramen noodles for lunch). So to give Tieve the total bachelorette experience, she did what every cooking-deficient female elf did—she broke out the leftovers. In this case, the leftovers took the form of cold pizza from Bog’s Pizzeria. They sat on the floor, eating in comfortable silence. Tieve seemed happy to have a break from silverware and sitting at tables– manners that were totally foreign to the demoness.

“Tieve,” Vinyáya started, “can I ask you something?”

The girl nodded warily. Vinyáya thought for a moment, trying to figure out how to phrase her question. “When you play music, do you… feel different?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, there’s something inside you that’s different. A power, an adrenaline rush.” Seeing the blank look on Tieve’s face, Vinyáya tried a different approach. “When you play, what goes through your mind?”

Tieve shrugged. “I just do what feels right. I already know what to do.” She paused. “Is that okay?”

Vinyáya smiled. “It’s amazing, Tieve. The song you played on the guitar today was very good.”

Tieve’s face lit up and she looked down at her feet, seeming to blush. “I just copied what the human from the movie did.”

Vinyáya pushed away her empty plate and stretched. “What’s the movie about?”

“It’s about this boy. He lives in this place with all these other children. They called it an orphanage. And so he leaves to look for his parents. And he really likes music. Like I do.” Tieve rested her head on her knees, abruptly falling silent. She was quiet for several moments. “Vinyáya, they said orphanage like it was a bad thing. Is it… normal to know your parents?”

Vinyáya was awkwardly silent. “Well, different cultures do different things… but, yes. I mean, most fairies know their parents.”

“Do you know yours?”

Vinyáya nodded. Tieve pushed herself off the floor, bombarding Vinyáya with a flurry of questions. “What were they like? Do they look like you? Do you listen to music together?”

Vinyáya couldn’t help but smile. “Come here.” She sat on the lone couch and pulled out a dusty book from inside of a dresser. “These are photos. Pictures of things that happened in the past. Most fairies keep them on their computers, but I guess I’m a little old-fashioned.” She opened the book. “This is my mom and dad.” She gestured to the two figures in the picture.

“She’s wearing a really pretty dress.”

“Well, they were getting married.”

Tieve’s eyes widened. “Fairies get married?” Vinyáya nodded. “We never did that. But I read about it in Lady Heatherington Smythe. It seemed really…” Tieve struggled for the right word. “…right.”

Vinyáya smiled. Her mother was resplendent, as she was in all of Vinyáya’s memories. Her hair was a cinnamon red, while her father’s was nearly orange. Like her own, it had faded to silver over time. Both of them had bright green eyes and freckles sprinkled across their noses. That was one of the things Vinyáya missed about her youth—her own freckles. Gone now. She turned the page. “This is me as a baby.”

Tieve giggled. “You were so little!” The demoness ran her hand over the picture. “Your mom was there when you hatched?”

Vinyáya couldn’t help but laugh. “No, it’s not like that. Elves don’t hatch out of eggs like demons. They’re born.”

“Like rabbits?”

“Well… yes, I guess.”

“That’s weird.”

Vinyáya shook her head, grinning, and turned the page. It was a class picture of about twenty fairies. “This is me when I graduated from the police academy. I always wanted to work for the LEP.”

“Who are the rest of the fairies?”

“Well, some of them are gone by now. But I still remember quite a few. That’s Bom Arbles, Matthew Trapini, Lope, and Aquka Sir in the back row.” Vinyáya moved to the next row, thinking. “I don’t remember most of these. The middle woman is Chairman Akiko. She dropped out of the LEP when her husband was killed in a firefight with the B’wa Kell gang.”

“That’s sad.”

Vinyáya nodded and moved onto the last row. “That gnome to the right is Ark Sool.” Tieve shuddered. “He was a jerk back in school too,” Vinyáya said with a wink. Tieve cracked a smile. “Right next to him is Briar Cudgeon.” Her lip curled in disgust, remembering. “Briar tried to undermine Commander Root and was demoted. Afterwards, he hatched some crazy scheme and it ended up getting him killed.”

Tieve studied the photo. “Was he always bad?”

Vinyáya opened her mouth to speak, but then paused. “Well, no, I guess. He was always had an ego, but he wasn’t cruel. It just happened over the years.”

Tieve’s brow creased. “How does it happen? How come people do that?”

“I don’t know.” Vinyáya turned the page, then flushed red and hastily shut the book. But Tieve moved too quickly, snaking her hand in between the pages. “What is it? Please?”

Tieve was giving her pixie eyes. Grudgingly, Vinyáya reopened the album, unable to resist her innocent question. Cahartez had somehow sneaked the picture during the welcoming gala in Police Plaza. It had been a heady night—graduation ceremony, receiving her first acorns, and then the police formal. The higher-ups showed up at the banquet and dance to meet the graduates and scope out future talent. The photo was worn at the edges, but still glossy and unwrinkled. Vinyáya’s glittering red hair fell down to her shoulder blades and her face was upturned, smiling. Julius had his hands around her waist and hers were wound around his neck casually. It was the only picture that she had where Julius was actually laughing out loud. His young face was rosy and his eyes twinkled, face slightly red not from anger but amusement.

Tieve looked up at Vinyáya. “Who’s that?”

Vinyáya cleared her throat. “That’s just Julius. I mean, Commander Root.”

“Commander? But isn’t Sool the commander?”

Vinyáya’s eyes hardened. “Yes. He took over when Root was murdered.”

“How–” Tieve began, but then stopped. She was quiet for a few moments. “I’m sorry.”

Vinyáya closed the book, standing. “You don’t need to be sorry about anything. The person who did it is in prison now.” She opened the drawer and put the album inside. “We should get to bed. Tomorrow’s going to be a big day.” Vinyáya unclasped her watch and set it on the end table, heading for her bedroom.

“Vinyáya?” The commander turned, her hand on the doorknob. “Are you… mad at me?” Tieve asked timidly, her voice nearly inaudible.

Vinyáya gave her a small smile. “No, I’m not mad at you.”

Tieve smiled. “Okay.”

“Goodnight.”

“Night.”

Vinyáya closed the door behind her. It was going to be hard to sleep tonight. Because every time she closed her eyes, all she could see was Julius’ smiling face. And she couldn’t tell whether she was dreaming or having a nightmare.

— 

Poor Vinyaya… I just wanna hug her. Anyways, I REALLY love getting reviews– it lets me know about how many people are reading. So if you’d leave one, just even to say that you’re watching the story, it’d totally make my day. Thanks!

...page......page...This

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6

Comments on This Post

43 responses to “Fermata.” Join in!

  1. The_Right_Girl October 5th, 2008 at 4:12 pm 1

    *First comment dance*
    THE BESTEST STORY EVER!!!!!!!!!!
    Write more soon!
    God bless you. It’s nothing to sneeze at.
    The_Right_Girl

  2. AWSOME! A 4!

  3. I loved it. 😀
    I read part of it on the forum, but I never read the second part.
    My only suggestion would be to start a new paragraph every time a new person talks. It just makes it neater and easier to read.

    Other than that, update soon!

  4. This is great. I think there’s so much potential for fanfics with this sort of setting, but this is the first one I’ve read. I’ve always thought your writing was excellent, so there’s nothing new to say in that area, but I like how you’ve established the different characters personalities yourself without being inconsistent with the book. And Tieve is already really interesting.
    So yeah- great job!

  5. Wonderful! Just so good!

  6. demon_obsession offln October 9th, 2008 at 8:27 am 6

    brilliant! please write some more; you impressed just about everyone 😀

  7. “Two: Sool had ordered him “to keep his civilian nose out of demon business.” How could he resist a dare like that?”

    Classic Foaly. 😀

    I don’t see the weird bold part, but your author’s note is repeated several times. Does just erasing it work?

    Anyways, great chapter. 😀
    I love the whole Vinyaya/Root conflict. Though, her reactions to Root seem inconsistent. She dreams about him, but when Foaly compares her to Root she doesn’t have any reaction? I would’ve expected her to react ever so slightly.
    Or maybe not.

    I love Vinyaya’s characterization. She’s like Holly enough that I can see her as Holly’s role model, but she’s still her own character.
    The Billy Kong thing is friggen awesome. He’s a scary villain because he’s just so determined. He thinks demons killed his brother.
    In his own mind he’s probably the hero…

    Fantastic chapter. 😀
    I can’t wait for updates!

  8. Thanks for the heads-up, Opal. I think I got it fixed.

    As for Vinyaya’s non-reaction– I think I accidentaly underplayed it. I may go in and fix that. Root and Vinyaya’s relationship will continue to be a theme, though– I love Root way too much to forget about him!

    Kong will be back– along with a friend. Hint: there’s some foreshadowing to who it will be. If you know, don’t say it publicly… PM me. XD

    Thanks for the crit!!

  9. I’m so glad you updated!

    Once again, I agree with Opal (someday, I’ll comment before her and be able to say what I think without feeling like I’m copying her).

    I really love how you write Foaly… and I am also extremely thankful for the reappearance of his tinfoil hat. 😀

    It’ll be good to see more of Kong too; I think it was a good choice to bring him back. I feel like he was underused in the actual book.

  10. Wooh, to new chapterness. 🙂
    It was /so/ sweet.
    And now No. 1 has someone to love when he gets back. 🙂
    Poor Vinyaya, and poor Root.
    I love your characterization of Minerva! She’s not outright evil and she’s not perfect in every sense. You get the balance, which is great. Fanfiction authors seem to have trouble with that.
    I wanna know what happens! XD
    I can’t wait for your update.

  11. I love it! It’s exactly as Eoin Colfer would write it! Where does the title come from? This story is awesome! Update! 5\5!

  12. Julissa Holly Fowl October 27th, 2008 at 12:22 am 12

    This story is as close to perfect as a fanfic can get. I am amazed! The way you wrote is so realistic. I can picture the whole thing happening. The way you wrote about Vinyáya’s photos and memories is my favorite part. I couldn’t find a single error in the whole story. 5/5 (I’d rate 10/5 if I could 🙂 )

  13. My opinion is that you should add more paragraphs, like, short ones. I really got a bad headache.

    Otherwise? Okay. Nice.

  14. Greeneyedgenius November 3rd, 2008 at 7:45 am 14

    This is the best fan fiction I have ever read. I am sick of reading all of these shipping fictions. I love reading stuff that blends in so well with the books. You are doing an amazing job! I’m sitting here on my iPod dreading the fact that there is only one chaptr left!

    I love how you incorporated the part with Vinyaya and Root! I almost cried! Amazing!

    Hey, are there any good fanfics that you would recomend? Email me @ greeneyedgirl247@yahoo.com.

  15. Quoting Blackadder? You’re like Cassandra Clare! Haha.

    Minerva’s? Je pense?

    “The flare caught their tiny pod, spinning them like socks on a washing machine. Then the fins caught, leveling them upright as they shot upwards at thousands of klicks per hour.”

    You used caught twice really close together.

    Okay, that was my lamely trying to find some crit to make my review less useless.
    Eh, I might as well just say:

    Update!!!!1!!!111oneoneelventy!!!!!
    Awesomeness chapter. 🙂 I loved all of the action, it was so well written.

  16. Target Aquired November 5th, 2008 at 4:42 am 16

    Thanks for reviews, guys. BlackOpal– thank you doubly for pointing that out!! I get writing too quickly sometimes and gloss over stuff like that.

    I don’t really know how long this story is going to go… 20+ chapters. I don’t know. XD

    Helen– If the paragraphs are bothering you, I’d try reading it on Fanfiction.net. The spacing is much wider and it’s less of a big block of text. 🙂

    Thanks to new reviewers Helen, Greeneyedgenius, Julissa, and Evil Opal!

    Target Aquired

  17. OK. You know I’m a total fan of you Challenge entries. But this this is the first time I’m ever sampled your fan fiction. (Or any fanfiction on the FG for that matter.)
    I have nothing negative to say about this. I really admire the way your work reads in the “Colfer voice” that not even actual AF really reads in anymore. I wish I knew how you do it. On an unrelated note, I really like the soundtrack idea.
    You’re blazing new trails here. 😉

    I’ll be keeping a lookout for updates.

  18. Chapter 1 review: AWESOME!!! SO descriptive! I loved all of the quips, allusions, and metaphors(especially the shark smelling the wounded animal one) It seems as though this could have really happened in the official story; it’s that good! *YAAAWWN* Well, it’s late. I’ll read the rest tommorrow.

  19. “Tieve was giving her pixie eyes.” HA!
    Once again, I love all the details and also I think the characters are brilliantly spot on, and I’m going to read chapter 4 now.

  20. greeneyedgenius247 November 15th, 2008 at 12:00 am 20

    This is the best AF fanfiction ever. You have to write more when you have the time!

  21. Amazing, amazing, amazing! Keep write-write-writing, I have this insane need to know why Vinyaya should have done so much abject begging and all that. Excellent story, a growth on Eoin COlfer’s own tree, which is definitely a massive compliment. (Btw, I’m a born-again Christian too, thumbs up to the admission and the no-swearing policy!!!) May you retain your throne in Editor’s Choice forevermore.

  22. Yes, I know, thanks. I checked on Fermata, and it means … halt? Hold? or what??? I got a headache reading the rest, I couldn’t stop. I hate the small print, it’s making me squint, and it may be worsening my eyes, but don’t imagine thngs like that. Just think how big a compliment I’m giving you. To think! I risked a lot just to read the rest!

    Er, just joking. I’m not really going blind, I just wear specs.

    I wish you would update soon, I’m getting a bit bored waiting for you. Just to hurry you…

    UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE OR I’LL LET YOU SEE HOW NICE AND SHINY MY THUMBSCREWS ARE!!!

    *Smiles sweetly* Now, why don’t you go and update now?

  23. Hey, I read chapter 6 on ff.net but I forgot to review so I might not review there until tomorrow (xXBeetle Of DestinyXx) so I would just like to say that it was brilliant and I can’t wait for more (and I’m really glad that you took it off hiatus – at least temporarily :P)

  24. Alanna-Lena Zelen December 31st, 2008 at 3:22 am 24

    PLEEEEEEESSSE! keep writing. I’ts so interesting that I think that it could oneday be published. So please keep writing!

  25. partyonsoccerfan February 16th, 2009 at 4:07 pm 25

    extremly awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! keep writing(or typing?)!

  26. Target Aquired February 17th, 2009 at 2:12 am 26

    Definitely! To all readers– Fermata is now continued in Fermata (Part II). Scroll up and see my other stories to get to it!

  27. RandomReaderGuy May 27th, 2009 at 11:48 am 27

    Hi there Target Aquired.

    Here are my thoughts for the story:
    It’s actually quite a nice story, imaginative yet faithful to the series. Good idea for bringing back Spiro and Kong.They were too underused for villains and colorful characters There are just a one thing I’d like to criticize.
    1. Spiro having an intellect?!? He was clever, but not a hacker-type clever.He was a corporate criminal. I thought that was obvious. He was a richandruthless-type of guy. Not a tehcno guy.

  28. O.k. I just wish there was a artemis fowl or even a Butler or Holly in the story.

  29. Princesta Joob Joob October 30th, 2009 at 5:14 am 29

    You STILL have people reading 😀

  30. I would like to note that I do not like the Eion style on anyone other than Eion himself. It feels like your trying to mock him. But don’t take my notes personly. I would critize even the perfect writing, unless it was by Eion, who I truly love/admire+infinity.

  31. bookygirl1996 March 6th, 2010 at 2:41 pm 31

    WOW Artemis Fowl has become my ‘book of the moment’ and therefore I think of the book EVERY living second of the day. And I actually got the series confused with “Fermata” for a moment. You have real potential. I dream of being as good a writer as you are.

  32. WOW! I just read your 6 chapter and I think that your story is Aswome, I made a story to but their is no AF in it. Update or fear my wrath.

  33. Firestar101- “update or fear my wrath” is Hermione Fowl’s thing. Also, I’m guessing you read Warriors(hmm, what gave it away?). Anyway I like this fanfic, espicicially the title, Fermata. Do you play an instrument? It’s interesting and now that there’s three people with a grudge against Artemis… Heheheh.
    To part II…

  34. if I find out that you kidnapped Eoin Colfer, there will be h*** to pay. Seriously, thats how good you are. keep it up :):):)

  35. i can picture tieve as a small girl that looks like me

  36. BoboParadizo May 21st, 2011 at 1:41 am 36

    Amazingly amazing…i always wondered what happen to those other enemies that artemis made…i’m just glad you didn’t make opal your villian…but i’m guessing spiro and kong will double cross each other

    Oh, and PLEASE UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  37. FantasyDevourer May 24th, 2011 at 4:33 am 37

    Just read the first chapter, it’s AMAZING!!!! I will read the rest tomorrow, but I love how you follow Vinyaya, who was one of the minor-ish characters in the books. I can’t quite picture a demoness, maybe a normal kid with scales instead of skin? Am I right? 😛
    Maybe when I read the rest I’ll see. Well, keep up the great stories!!! 🙂
    P.S. For once, Opal isn’t the ‘bad guy’ 🙂

  38. brilliant

  39. WOW THAT WAS AMAZING THE BEST STORY EVER!!!!!!

    I one time had a dream that vinyaya and julius were married and frond ws their dautghter!?!?!? im i crazy!!??

    Wow, pretty irrelevant comment. Nonetheless, try not to spam/doublepost. ~WE

  40. The author is gone :Sad:

  41. FowlsGirl123 July 6th, 2011 at 3:17 am 41

    wow. i just read the first chapter, and it is so good! it seriously sounds exactly like it just came out of one of Eoin’s books! so good! There were a few annoying things like not indenting when appropriate, but it was otherwise great! awesome! keep going!

  42. Oh gwad…. Target please come back!!! If your just reading this over. You need to come back, I’ve read both parts and you leave everyone on a cliff hanger!!! You need to finish it please!!! If you do I’ll make you your own shoe! Please! I need this story, no one would be able to finish it besides you. You make it sound soooo much like Colfer! Please… *A tear rolls down cheek* I need you, no we all need you to come back……

  43. themegamastaspeed October 30th, 2011 at 12:08 am 43

    dang you should use some naruto stuff

    Try to include constructive criticism in your reviews. I know you’re new here, just saying ^^ There’s a guide if you want to see it. ~WE

Leave a Reply

Help: How do I get an avatar?