Deserted- Chapter Twelve is written!!! OOOOOOH! Artemis slips up!!!!! :P R&R
Written on August 26th, 2007 by Holly314Story Details
(19 votes, average: 3.63 out of 5)
Loading ...Chapter 4: Know the Neighborhood
Holly cautiously stepped out of the pod, her crackling, wet suit clinging to her skin. Behind her, Artemis was dragging himself out of the pod. He was dryer than Holly, but more inclined to complain, as Holly heard him grumbling while stumbling into the sun. She glanced around, scanning the beach for any sign of animal life. She saw a few crabs scutlling over the sands, but nothing else.
“Hurry up, Artemis,” she said. “We have to find a fresh water source before sunset. As she spoke the sun was just rising over the ocean, red as freshly spilled blood.
“Well I think we have plenty of time, don’t you?” Artemis complained.
“We have no idea how large this island is! It could take days to hike all the way across!!” Holly countered. She started walking briskly over the sands.
“With my survival skills we could liv…hey wait up!” He shouted as he noticed he was being left behind.
Holly stopped ubruptly. Artemis had his eyes on his feet, and wasn’t paying attention until he ran into Holly. They had only walked 100 meters, and he was already sweating profusely; Holly wasn’t even breathing hard. But when he ran into her she didn’t complain. He turned to see what she was looking at.
“Oh my God….” He said. He was standing 30 meters above a large desert that surrounded the island in a 200 meter crescent shape. Beyond the crescent shaped desert was a rainforest, thick and lush, about 150 meters long. Beyond that, dead center of the island, was a huge mountain, scraping the sky, and shadowing everything with the red rising sun behind it. A waterfall ran down it’s front, and ended in a massive pool near the base. A few feet from the base of the mountain, a cave to the right of the waterfall, but still on the front of the mountain, loomed, cavernous, empty, and big enough to shelter 300 of him.
Artemis was doing a few mental calculations; he knew the way the sun rose was east, so directly behind him was west, and so on and so forth. Adding in the angle of the Earth during the summer, he could almost pinpoint the four cardinal directions.
“Well, at least we know where to find water,” Holly said, and started to skid down the plateau’s gently sliding slope. Artemis followed closely in her wake, determined not to lose her this time.
August 26th, 2007 at 2:38 am
pleezpleezpleez r&r!!!!!!!! GAAAH! *gasps for air and falls off chair*
August 26th, 2007 at 7:54 am
Please update soon!Pretty please!This sounds great;)
August 26th, 2007 at 10:15 am
Holly314…………i dont know how to say this but……………………………………………THAT WAS MAGNIFICENT!!!!!! ♥ the NOOOOOOO part. dont worry bout flamers…i dont think ya gonna get any of em! write more !!!!
August 26th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
Flamers! I wish they could think of an insult we’ve not all heard once in a while…maybe then we’d care!Anyway good start & please update.
August 26th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
I’m trying kk? I have reely slow internet, and it sticks a lot, so it may be…hmmmm..2 days at the most, probably I’ll update today. TY for all criticism.;)
August 26th, 2007 at 3:24 pm
Oh srry, I haven’t logged in, I thought I was, but yes it’s me kk? Srry for whatever confusion THAT may have caused.
August 26th, 2007 at 6:34 pm
yay i got a mention and a box of cookies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( great story btw i love it lol lots and lots!) i am very proud of my guru!!!!!!!!!!!!!
August 26th, 2007 at 9:30 pm
lol
August 26th, 2007 at 9:45 pm
so r u gonna continue lol i wanna see more!! xxx btw read my new story lol
August 26th, 2007 at 11:24 pm
I’ve read! I will write more kk?
August 27th, 2007 at 9:48 am
•♦lol chapeter 2 is lovely!!!•♦
August 27th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
i can’t wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! eeeeep!
August 27th, 2007 at 9:14 pm
ahhhhhhhhhh ich bin gehen schlecht!!!!!!!!!! u r killing me madame guru one!!!!!!
August 27th, 2007 at 9:42 pm
lol keep it comin! I will right more, maybe l8r, I’m in a psych blok right now, got a lot 2 do.
August 27th, 2007 at 10:58 pm
it’s finished but shrt! chpter3 is done!
August 27th, 2007 at 11:00 pm
Oh and do u think I made foaly sarcastic enough? I’m not good with witty retorts, unless my adrenaline gets going, and writing isn’t that exciting.
August 28th, 2007 at 4:44 pm
yes it is exciting!!!!!!!!!!!! i am tearing my hair out in anticipation!!!!! keep going now u know how i feel!!!!!!!!!!
August 28th, 2007 at 9:35 pm
kk! I’ll try to update soon…
August 28th, 2007 at 9:42 pm
My my Holly dear. look at all the reviews you’ve got. Sorry it took so long but I’ve been off and on traveling through Wisconsin to get back home. Anyways, yes this is a brilliant story. Artemis and Holly fall into charecter very simply, perfect fit. You could be Eoin Colfer’s Double
May I suggest that you multi task? and not only add to this but to make new stories as well? I look forward to them all. Especially to your updates to this particular story. Again my apologies for being so late.
~Jade Malice
August 29th, 2007 at 5:40 pm
omg jade u r so posh. do u come from england? i do eveyone says i tok posh but i don’t lol they just think i do cos they r scottish lol
August 29th, 2007 at 5:43 pm
i definatley sound realy common online lol cos i use text speak everywhere …
August 29th, 2007 at 7:46 pm
Lol. No vinyaya I am an American with an acceptable vocabulary. Intellectual beings would consider my talking normal. lol, thats nerd for maybe everyone else is just unsmart. On top of being American I’m also Minnesotan but don’t let the nasty rumors about us fool you. We don’t wear plaid and eat hotdishes all the time -_-
August 29th, 2007 at 10:26 pm
I’m an intelleigent american!!! I’m alabamian, but that doesn’t mean I’m a hillbilly!
August 29th, 2007 at 11:56 pm
Oh and ty guys for all comments, chapter four is now done! YAY!!!!!! *throws confetti and chinese take-out boxes*
August 30th, 2007 at 9:39 pm
ok…no one has commented! AAAH!
August 31st, 2007 at 1:57 am
Throws confetti and chinese take out boxes? Still, write some more!
August 31st, 2007 at 8:22 pm
omg u two are so far away from me i am in little old scotland edinburgh! ina tiny little village lol u r soooo lucky to be in america lol
August 31st, 2007 at 8:25 pm
hey this is a cool fact my comp is facing america lol *waves* YAY keep going i loved chappie four!
August 31st, 2007 at 8:26 pm
remember 2 comment on whiskey lullaby soon cos i wanna know what u think…
August 31st, 2007 at 9:35 pm
Yeah, I’m trying ot get around to chapter five, so…Umm…yeah!
Srry for the wait!
September 1st, 2007 at 1:25 am
scotland, american……is nobody out there aussie!!!!!!
September 1st, 2007 at 8:14 am
r u?????????? kl this rox aussie american and scottish
September 1st, 2007 at 8:37 am
yea im aussie but everyone i talk to is like “r u from another country” AHHHH SO ANNOYIN …..lol
September 1st, 2007 at 4:44 pm
lol |)
September 2nd, 2007 at 1:05 am
Chappy 5 is fin`e yay!!!!!!!!!!!
R&R !!!!!! I suck at writing by the way, so yeah!
September 2nd, 2007 at 3:39 am
actually I think its a little too short.Keep adding its getting better!!! sorry this is random but…GO CALIFORNIA!! U.S.A. forever!
September 2nd, 2007 at 3:41 am
yup it says it Im California born and bread.;)Im also half filipino! oh yah!!!! fil-am(filipino-american)(;
September 2nd, 2007 at 4:29 pm
I’ll try and update soon, kk?
September 2nd, 2007 at 6:36 pm
ok I’ll keep checking this story cuz I cant wait til its done!!! P.S. I live near San Fransisco,so seeing the Golden Gate Bridge isnt that special to me anymore.;)
September 3rd, 2007 at 1:02 am
not special?!? oh well, yeah I guess it depends on the person… ;D
September 3rd, 2007 at 2:43 am
really Ive seen the Golden Gate Bridge like what a thousand times!!! Same goes for the people Ive known since kindergarten!! basicly its big and red and takes fifteen minutes to get across!! You know Im not mad Im actually proud that I get to see it.oh sorry I type to too much.keep adding to the story please.
September 3rd, 2007 at 2:44 am
btw where r u from Holly314?? Im just a little curious.;))
September 3rd, 2007 at 4:34 pm
umm..well, Alabama. The Heart of Dixie. not much tourism down here though, so yeah. I’ll try to add soon, but u know I’m havin writers block…again. Have u read the 5th avocado? That’s so weird.
September 3rd, 2007 at 6:07 pm
I know its just sooo freakin weird.why would anyone want to write something that weird exept because they’re bored? it was really strange.its ok everyone gets writers block every once in a while..it’ll pass.;)
September 4th, 2007 at 2:19 am
YAY!!! CHAPTER 6 DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Enjoy!
It took me like 1 hour to write. It feels longer than it is.
September 4th, 2007 at 2:29 am
see writers block passes quickly…usualy and its a great story so far.I cant wait til its done!
September 4th, 2007 at 9:36 pm
hmmm..no one has reviewed exept luv-arty all day..is my chapter that bad…?
September 5th, 2007 at 1:18 am
omg! maybe someone will review if I write another chapter, becuz I’m itchin to, but I’tll have to be l8r. Clarinet practice. bye 4 now u guys. L8r.
September 5th, 2007 at 3:03 am
GAAH! Chappy 7 half-done. Good night to u all! *snores*
September 5th, 2007 at 3:58 am
maybe some people are soooooo busy.ya know some people starting school some already in it like me.I not checking as much as I used to.and its a great story.btw ur 12 right,Im 11 turning 12 this JANUARY.right now while Im writing this its Sept.4 in California.
September 5th, 2007 at 3:58 am
;):)
September 5th, 2007 at 8:36 am
i feel like a loner cause i dont see many aussie on the iste….lol
September 5th, 2007 at 10:58 pm
oh wel..yeah, I been banned from compute. I’m not supposed to be on, but I can’t do any more wting today srry….
September 6th, 2007 at 4:14 am
ohh you play clarinet…I play flute!!!I was banned to.but my mom reduced my sentence.lol;)
September 6th, 2007 at 8:22 am
im gonna sound so stupid but wat does a clarinet sound like???
September 6th, 2007 at 9:39 pm
Low. mellow, and when it gets high, it must say it sounds kinda reedy.
September 6th, 2007 at 10:06 pm
Oh and yay! chappy 7 done! better than be4, so R&R pleez! I enjoy having ppl salvate over my work.
September 7th, 2007 at 3:00 pm
hey cool i play alto sax and clarinet and oboe!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we should like start a cyber wind group lol
September 7th, 2007 at 3:10 pm
and oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they should know by now that seperating is the worst idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am anticipating the next chapter greatly!!!!!!! keep going lol u rock!
September 7th, 2007 at 6:09 pm
oh no holly or arty could get killed! nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
September 7th, 2007 at 9:46 pm
oh they won’t die. Holly won’t get far, believe me,kk? But they don’t die, I’m not that morbid.
I fixed as many of the spelling errors and grammar errors I could find, so yeah:))
September 9th, 2007 at 6:58 pm
yay!!!
September 9th, 2007 at 7:01 pm
ok, srry, but yeah this is very short becuz it isn’t finished yet kk? I’ll write more l8r today.
September 11th, 2007 at 2:07 am
ok, chappy 8 finished. If I don’t get any comments soon, I won’t write any more until I hear begs. Honestly people. Gettin a little slow around here, so I’m probably gonna end up commenting to myself, like I am now, so yeah. R&R pleez.
September 11th, 2007 at 3:44 am
hurray finally!srry about the outburst.;)ohhh pls. keep adding.:)
September 14th, 2007 at 9:57 pm
oh somebody comment! It’s been 3 days since I even got a comment! lord. Well, I won’t type anymore until I get a comment from someone other than Luv-artygirl.
September 14th, 2007 at 10:21 pm
i will never give up on you holly314! don’t worry (and i will tell everyone to read this or else to!) great chappie lol keep going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
September 15th, 2007 at 3:03 am
great story.update pls.
September 15th, 2007 at 3:05 am
wow its an awesome story so far!!…even if I am an A/M shipper.dont hate me.Im new
September 15th, 2007 at 3:08 am
I like it.its not the kind of story I usually read but I actually like it….but Im like amazingly=different….Im an A/M shipper.
September 15th, 2007 at 3:10 am
welcome amazingly=different!!HOPE YOU LIKE THE FANFICS SO FAR!!!=):)
September 16th, 2007 at 11:08 pm
ok, well..ummm….can;t think of anything for chappy 9….
September 17th, 2007 at 3:01 am
whyyyyy why is the world so cruel!!! srry but please I am going to die….of anticipation
September 17th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
some one has to come and save them… maybe trouble and root… and artemis is accidently left behind because they take holly when she is sleeping and artemis is out getting food and they think holly is ill…………..ah well do whatever you think best lol!
September 17th, 2007 at 9:46 pm
No, I need them to stay awhile, and get everything into routine, and then the people tear them away from the little society they have( sort of…only 2 ppl)
September 18th, 2007 at 4:55 pm
awwwwwwwwwwwww…
September 19th, 2007 at 12:00 am
I’m morbid, get used to it!!!! Society meaning, everything is organized, and they have schedules of what they need to do, and stuff like that, not what you are thinking of.. (I don’t think….)
September 20th, 2007 at 2:34 am
ok its tommarrow update pls.;)
September 20th, 2007 at 9:40 pm
ok, ok yes! I shall!
September 21st, 2007 at 9:34 pm
srry I didn’t update! I had to play at a football game, that lasted till 8:30, and then I had to go to bed, so yeah. I’ll try, but tonight’s pretty busy too, so….
September 22nd, 2007 at 10:35 pm
ok, chappy nine up!!!!!!!!!! HOORAY!!! GIMME A CHAPTER!!!! *people in background, “CHAPTER!!!”* GIMME A NINE!!!! *people in background again, “NINE!!” *
WHAT PROFOUND AND ANONYMOUS THING AM I TRYING TO SAY??????!?!? *people blahblahblah,”CHAPPY NINE IS DONE, AND NOW LUV-ARTYGIRL WON’T KILL ME!!!! YAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!”
September 22nd, 2007 at 10:36 pm
ROFL, I am commenting to my self again! lolol….that’s like the only reason I have 80 comments with only 9 chapters. Half of them are mine, so I’m going to see If I can take mine off the top tens board.
September 23rd, 2007 at 2:51 am
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!you bet I wont kill you!!!
September 23rd, 2007 at 7:15 pm
Story makes it seem like they’ve been there for weeks, but really they’ve only been there…hmm..three days, and four nights, so yeah. Holly has gone completely out of her mind, and Artemis is…well…being, Artemis. Also, chapter 10, or half of it has been added!!!! YAY!!! read the end of chappy ten for more info. (I sound like MMK lol. No offense MMK)
September 26th, 2007 at 2:49 am
Ok, I haven’t had a comment in a few days, and I am really getting frustrated, so pleez review. PLEEZ!!! GAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!*pulls out hair*
September 27th, 2007 at 3:56 am
Im building up the anticipation.I wont review til you add more.k thx
September 27th, 2007 at 3:59 am
OH I HATE SCHOOL!!!WORKS BEEN PILING UP. I seriously love ur story.if you could I’d like an update pls.
September 29th, 2007 at 7:41 pm
I like potatoes!!!! and this story!! I also love updates!!!! you could update right??pls.pls.pls.pls.pls. PLEEEEEEEEASE
September 30th, 2007 at 3:14 am
ummm.oook…Mabye l8r…
October 1st, 2007 at 2:23 am
AWWWWWW ok I’ll wait……(2 seconds l8r)ok its l8r………ok I’ll wait more.Im hungry Im gonna go get food.=$ mmmmmm fooood.
October 7th, 2007 at 7:00 pm
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SORRY 4 DA EXCLAMATION MARKS!
October 7th, 2007 at 7:01 pm
IM CRAZY!
October 8th, 2007 at 11:37 pm
uh, yeah.
October 9th, 2007 at 2:50 am
awwww.still nut’n’.me sad.=(:(
October 11th, 2007 at 3:04 am
ok im gonna still wait 4 as long as it takes.Im NEVER sErIoUs FeR LoNg.and I aM TyPiNg LiKe DiS On pUrPoSe.
October 11th, 2007 at 9:51 pm
So srry…I can’t think of nothin….
October 17th, 2007 at 7:49 pm
lol cool update it soon!
October 19th, 2007 at 2:06 am
Wow. We read this poem today. First it said someone had died. Then, it said that someone had a wife then died. Then, it said that someone had a kid and died again! I felt a little confused about that. That is how I feel about this too.
October 19th, 2007 at 9:40 pm
they’re practically trading emotions. Everyone is capable of that, but their ability was triggered by panic, and need.
November 1st, 2007 at 2:14 am
InTeReStInG! iT iS rElLy GoOd I cAn’T wAiT 4 MoRe!
November 4th, 2007 at 3:03 pm
You know it still says that this story is a oneshot at the very beginning lol. It has 11 chapters now so it isn’t a oneshot!
November 4th, 2007 at 6:41 pm
what is a oneshot?
November 8th, 2007 at 10:33 pm
Uh yeah I guess I’ll remove it now, since it’s like the longest half interesting thing I’ve ever written..
November 25th, 2007 at 4:30 am
Wow, this is really quite amusing! I love the setting, keep it up!
November 25th, 2007 at 4:44 am
I didn’t write that question! eeeepp1 someone is using my name! EGAD! I have FANS!! or unfortunately probably like Vinyaya stalkers. YIKES!
November 27th, 2007 at 3:22 am
LOL, Ok i’ll try to get chappy twelve out…Will you guys help spread the word? Because this story is completely buried now, And I’m not getting many reviews anymore…Please?
December 15th, 2007 at 7:10 pm
okay, I’ll try to. It’s a really good story! You should put a link to in in your siggy at the forum.
December 24th, 2007 at 2:13 am
good idea! I’m about to type chapter twelve!
December 24th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
ooooooooooooooooh…Artemis slipped up in chapter twelve!!!!!
January 18th, 2008 at 2:09 am
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS SUCH A GOOD STORY YOU SHOULD TOTALLY ADD ON MAYBE A SECOND ONE
January 27th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
I’m sorry for neglecting this story, I’ll try to update soon! Just so many other things going on, I barely get any time to write anymore!
March 28th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
OHHHH wow that’s great, I don’t usually like stories that are all Atemis and Holly but this is really good.
July 4th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
i got lost…please make the story clearer
it seems like you wrote this hurriedly, so slow down. quality is better than more words
September 17th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
GOOD!!! SORRY HAVE NO TIME TO WRITE MORE!!
BYE!!!!