Corona
Written on July 23rd, 2008 by Marie SvensonStory Details
- Category: General and Romance
- Author: Marie Svenson
- Word Count: 1100
- Read 317 times
- Skip to chapter: 1, 2,
(9 votes, average: 3.78 out of 5)
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“I don’t know…” Holly frowned as the pixie continued the deep tissue massage. Her friendship with Caballine had softened her tomboy ways, and Holly had actually found herself enjoying trips to the spa or the mall, as long as the quirky centaur was there to keep her company.
She still wasn’t about to be caught dead in a dress.
“Come on,” insisted Caballine. “It’ll be fun. After all, the LEP’s 5000th anniversary ball only comes, well, every 5000 years.”
Holly rolled her eyes. Leave it to Caballine to say something redundant like that. “I don’t have a date, Caballine. Would you really put me through that sort of embarrasment? Holly hoped her feigned distress would discourage her. In truth, she knew exactly who she would have liked to go with, but that was a distinct impossibility. Especially after everything that had happened in their latest fiasco…
Her train of thought was cut off, however, when Caballine winced. “Well…”
“What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything. Foaly, on the other hand…”
“Caballine, so help me, if you don’t tell me what the two of you did, I will force you into a tunnel behind Mulch.”
The centaur paled at that image- she liked the kleptomaniac dwarf no more than her husband- and told the truth. “We kind of already asked Trouble for you.”
Holly was enraged. “Trouble? No, Caballne. I can’t go to the 5000th ball with my own commander. It’s…”
“Never been done before? That’s because there’s never been a woman on the force before. Please, Holly? It’ll be no fun without you.”
Holly sighed. It was no use arguing with Caballine when she was in one of these moods. “I’m not wearing a dress,” Holly promised.
Caballine grinned. She’d get Holly in a ballgown yet. She just hoped things were going as well for Foaly and Trouble.
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Cool story! YAY for A/H STORIES!
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:38 pm
That’s terriffic!!!!!! I can’t wait to see what happens next! Everybody’s in character, which is pretty rare in a romance. The only thing that I don’t really like is the fact that Holly isn’t as much as a tomboy,but that’s really minor. Update as soon as you can!
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:39 pm
That’s terriffic!!!!!! I can’t wait to see what happens next! Everybody’s in character, which is pretty rare in a romance. The only thing that I don’t really like is the fact that Holly isn’t as much of a tomboy,but that’s really minor. Update as soon as you can!
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:59 pm
Opps! I forgot! *first comment dance* I think that you should continue!
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:05 pm
I agree with EvilOpal…Update as soon as you can! It’s really good!
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:29 pm
Muahahahah!! Our Arty, all grown up and attending a ball… I had a half mind of commiting seppuku when I thought this was gonna be a H/T fic.
LUV it so far!
July 24th, 2008 at 3:02 am
OMG i love it. continue b4 i kill you jk lol. well, not about the continueing part. so come on already!!!!!! i am waiting,
July 24th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
I wanna see what happens next! Please update.
July 24th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Ooh! I love this story. Everyone is in character, which, as Evil Opal said, is rare for a romance story! I am so excited to see what happens! And I’m not sure what the title means yet. Please update soon!
July 24th, 2008 at 11:27 pm
It’s really good, but I REALLY don’t agree with the shipping.
Holly is 80+, and artemis is (technically) 15!
Even though fairy years are different from human ones, there’s still the huge age gap.
It’s obvious that Holly likes trouble, and vice-versa.
Besides, Minerva wouldn’t stand for anyone with a lower IQ than her; she thinks they are dull or just plain stupid. Same with Arty.
That’s just my opinion. If you’re really a commited H/A, then keep going with it the way you want.
On the positive, the writing is really good. You have enough description, the characters are in character, and you have a good plot going.
Good Luck Writing!
July 25th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Cute.
You should try and add something original in there too. There’s a lot of “ball” stories.
Your writing is smooth, so it’s way better than most.
computerzandbks4ever: Please don’t criticize a story based on its ship. It specifies against it in the rules.
I know that ship debating is fun, but you can do that on the forum.
We do it ALL of the time over there. XD
Thanks,
BlackOpal
July 25th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
I love this story!!! Good job!!! 5 stars!
I saw one thing, though…..
“It’s kind of an intervention,” Trouble admitted. “We can all see how much you love her. It’s about time something went right for you. I guess it’s sort of an intervention.”
Sorry. Call me nitpicky, I just thought that it might be a mistake because you said it twice and…
yeah.
sorry, just pointing it out!
Love,
Mitsuki
July 25th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
Good. I was going to point out the same mistake that Mitsuki did. The first chapter was the best.
A scene from the story:
“Come on,” insisted Caballine. “It’ll be fun. After all, the LEP’s 5000th anniversary ball only comes, well, every 5000 years.”
—
No, it doesn’t come once every 5000 years. It only happens once. 5000 years later, it would be the 10000th Anniversary Ball.
July 26th, 2008 at 1:26 am
That was … breathtaking. please continue.or… or…lol. You get the point.
*Note to self* (I should try something like this. hmm :/)
July 26th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Waah…
Can you write more straight away??? please??? please??? And more pleases??? Nobody is OOC at all! Great, so… get on your com NOW!!! And don’t blame me if I come and find you if you don’t write more. I know it’s confusing, but the main idea is that you had better write more quickly or I’ll be ANGRY…
This is so cute!!! Yeah!!! I want to steal this story and post it as mine!!!!
HUGS AND KISSES,
Helen
July 30th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
This is on Fanfiction.net, too. Do you have an account there?
Please update! I really want to read more.
August 3rd, 2008 at 2:46 pm
This story is awesome please finish it. I’ll be sitting on pins and needles until you do.
August 6th, 2008 at 7:27 am
I love this story! As most people said, the characters are in character. Please write more!
August 7th, 2008 at 9:04 am
Great Story!!! I love the idea of Foaly and Caballine setting up Holly to go to a Ball! Please update really soon!!!
August 13th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
UPDATE!!!! Please this is really good! Keep typing
November 27th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
NONONONONONONO!!!!! Artemis and Minerva are meant for eachother!!!! Holly is a sologirl!!!!!!! WAhhhh!!! You wrote really well, by the way. Not many of the stories on this sight have proper grammar and word choice and stuff.