Battle of Tailte:Revised and Edited

Summary: This an edited version of the Battle of Tailte story I made, as the original had many flaws.

3 votes, average: 2.67 out of 53 votes, average: 2.67 out of 53 votes, average: 2.67 out of 53 votes, average: 2.67 out of 53 votes, average: 2.67 out of 5 (3 votes, average: 2.67 out of 5)
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WARNING: This story is not finished update-wise. (That’s not a term, but….) I am still updating it. Please do not read it.

 

 

 

This was my first fanfic. Since it was so crappy, I decided to remake it. I do not own Frond or any characters that are in Artemis Fowl books 1-8.  Cronf, however, was created by me.

 

* * *

 

Peace had once reigned on the Earth.  But humanity must expand, even if by conflict and bloodshed.  The fairy people had been pushed back.  They still held on to Eriu, bu their hold was slipping, and their numbers were dropping.  Meanwhile, the humans were constantly rebuilding their armies. 

Finally things came to a head.  The humans, led by their war leader Cronf, prepared to attack the fairies at Tailte.  The stage was set for the war’s climax.

Cronf (as he liked to be known; no one knew his true name) sat in his tent, contemplating the battle. The odds, it had to be admitted, were in his favor. Yet he still felt a sense of unease as he remembered the Battle of Greenhill. Just a year before today, his army had been besieged a fairy force on Greenhill, a massive and easily defendable

As Cronf stepped out of his tent, he saw his “manteg” (which literally meant “hairy men” in Gnommish) line up in unhappy ranks. He began, “Men, today will be a bloody day.  But do not despair.  The fairy people may be more advanced than we are, but we have a cause worth fighting for! For years the fairies have treated you like the dirt we stand on! “Alot of ugly cheering arose from the columns.

 

His lieutenant spoke. “General, we must move out now for our positions. Cronf grinned.

“So it begins.” he said.

Most people believe that demons were the only fairy forces at the Battle of Tailte. This is mostly true. An elfin general and a couple hundred elfin rangers also fought at the battle. There were 15,000 human troops and 12,000 fairy troops at the battle. As the fairies waited at their positions, they saw human infantry marching towards their battle line. The elfin archers and demon crossbowmen waited to fire their bows. When they fired their first volley, many humans went down. But then the human archers fired their own volley, and the fairy line was hit hard. Now, demons, of course, are agressive by nature. This aggressiveness would be the downfall of the fairy forces. As the demons charged, the humans put a volley into them. The humans also formed a phalanx of axe, spear, shield and sword. With the demons breaking on the humans like waves on a rock, the elves came forth. Human warriors charged the elves. “Bring these weaklings down!” Lieutenant Fawle said.

Suddenly, an elf charged him. He drew his sword to meet the attacker. This elf’s name was Rogan Sharte. The two dueled until Fawle was stabbed by Sharte and was slain. But the two families would meet again in the forms of, well, you should know.

Sharte was leading a division of elves in a last stand against the humans. Sharte slew human after human with his sword. But Sharte was stabbed in the back with a human’s sword, and crumpled to the ground. 2 hours later, Rogan Sharte, elven general and heroic martyr, died a hero’s death.

With the demons and elves defeated, the fairies were forced to move underground. The demons went into Limbo. Some of the fairies went underwater and their warlocks created a bubble to protect the city, now known as Atlantis. But still one matter was left for the king, Frond.

King Frond stood on a ridge overlooking a fast-growing city. It was not yet named. Pulling himself to full height,he said “People of the Lower Elements, this city is important to us.  And why is it important,you say? It is a trading center. It is the capital of our civilization. And most importantly,”he paused to let his message sink in” this city shall be a haven for all the peoples of this civilization. Therefore this city shall be known as Haven. Haven City!”

He planted the flag of the Lower Elements on the ridge.

Slowly, the humans forgot about their underground enemies. History became legend, legend became myth, and myth became crazy folklore.  But the warriors of the battle would always remember the events of  the Battle of Tailte.

I apologize for many errors in this story. A fellow writer pointed out that the troop numbers were far too close to each other.  The humans had a very high numerical advantage in the actual battle.  The story is also very cliched (ex. “They would never forget the events of the battle of Tailte.”) When I wrote this, I was a new writer, and it was too big a task to edit the entire story when the time came.  I will be trying to edit the whole story, making it longer and more detailed, bu this will take a long time.  Also, you may want to check out my “Artemis Fowl:Lord of the Olympians” fanfic.  It would be wise to read it in order.

I will be publishing these edits in parts, so the greater part of the story is unedited, but I will be editing it over time.

Comments on This Post

6 responses to “Battle of Tailte:Revised and Edited.” Join in!

  1. This is well constructed, and it tells about what had led up to the people getting sent underground (i’ve been wondering about that. Thanks!:)) You need spaces after periods, and new paragraphs after speech. Other than that it’s quite good. Great job Kento7!

    Sorry to bug into your comment, Holly w. Forgive me… Hey Kento7! Just telling you that I took the story out of the Editorials category. Since it doesn’t belong there. So, I fixed it for ya. 🙂
    ~Amy

  2. Hm. It was ok, for a first fic, but really, you could work on the finer details. If it were up to me, I’d describe the actual battle part. Plus, the flow of the whole thing is very weak, and the vocab is not all that great.

    It’s a good start, but of course, there’s room for improvement.

  3. Absent_Minded_Professor August 29th, 2012 at 8:49 pm 3

    No, I agree with TM. Of course you get points for writing it in the first place, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get better.

    * First of all, after every comma, there needs to be a space, except if there’s a quotation mark after the comma. Then the space comes after the quotation mark.

    * Which brings me the second item: punctuation. No periods after dialogue with tags. Only question marks, exclamation points, and commas. Ex:
    “’So it begins,’ he said.” (“He said” was the tag.(

    * “Alot” is two words.

    * Having multiple exclamation points doesn’t look professional. Instead, describe the noise.

    * Having actual numbers as adjectives also doesn’t look professional. Spelling it out looks better.

    * By “the battle part,” I think TM meant the individual fights. In this instance, detail would have been nice. Without it, the whole thing seems pointless. This is a big subject, and if you cover the whole event, it needs to be a big fic. Longer, at least.

    * I also agree with what TM said about creativity. It’s not particularly attention-grabbing.

    Overall, three stars.

  4. First of; I like the title of this story. I know the title’s basic, but I like the idea.
    But other than that, it isn’t the best version of the Battle of Tatile I’ve ever read.
    1) It’s so short, and quite undetailed. I see what TM means about they’re not been much battle — how about you go into a few soldiers fighting or something? That would make it a lot more interesting in my opinion. In fact, it’s almost like: “Men, go and fight” (they fight) (fights the leader) (plants flag on ground). And it’s over.
    2)There are several typos. And mistakes. It is your first story, but you should always read over first. 🙂

    That’s all I have to say. I hope I haven’t been to mean 😛 I’m just trying to be constructive.

    Sorry to double post — I just read why it was so short — it was in one shots. Sorry not to check 😛

    It’s alright, I merged them for ya. 🙂
    ~Amy

  5. There were way more human soldiers than fairy at the battle. Maybe 50,000 human, 5,000 fairy

  6. I apologize for the errors in this story. G, you are right about the numerical errors. Perhaps, when my current fanfic series is done, I’ll make a new version of this.

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