Artemis: Hello, Holly.
Foaly: Fowl? Since when do you have Facebook?
Artemis: Since forever.
Foaly: STRAIGHT ANSWERS, FOWL.
Artemis: All right, all right! Since I was six.
Mulch: Someone got up on the wrong side of the roof!
Artemis: What? The ROOF?!
Mulch: You didn’t expect he could fit in a BED, did you?
Holly: Along with Caballine to boot!
Butler: Speaking of which, she’s getting big. How far along is she?
Juliet: Gasp! Caballine is PREGNANT?
Foaly: Yeah, for 4 months now.
Juliet: No one ever tells me ANYTHING!! Wahhhh!! 😥
Butler: Oh, you baby.
Foaly: I didn’t expect that Artemis would shout it out to the whole neighborhood, now did you?
Juliet: I bet he told Minerva, and NOT ME!
Minerva: Who told me what?
Artemis: Don’t tell her, Juliet!
Minerva: Don’t tell me what?
Juliet: Caballine is pregnant!
Artemis: Now you’ve done it.
Mulch: No one you know, Mud Girl.
Minerva: I know everybody important.
Foaly: Now just a minute! Caballine is SO important!
Minerva: If she was so important, I would have heard of her.
Foaly: Why I oughta…:evil:
Butler: Ok. Change of subject needed. Now. Master Artemis?
Artemis: I am having a contest with SeaBlue, the resident rabbit maker of FG, to see whose rabbits are better.
Minerva: What’s FG?
Artemis: FanGathering. Artemis Fowl FanGathering. You don’t see a Minerva Paradizo FanGathering anywhere, now do you?
Minerva: Why not? I know that guy Eoin Colfer writes a bunch of books adapted (very loosly) from our adventures, but why wouldn’t I have an FG too?!
Artemis: Probably because most of the people on this site hate you with a firey, burning passion.
Artemis: Supposedly, it’s because you are stealing Holly away from me.
Artemis: I know. 😛
Holly: What he said!
Mulch: 😛 😛 😛
Artemis: Did you know that that Eoin Colfer made us KISS in the latest book.
Mulch: We didn’t really need to hear that, Mud Boy.
Butler: Moving on. Let’s hear about the contest.
Artemis: I made a rabbit that had hind paws. His rabbits, however, lack even front paws.
Juliet: Show us your rabbits!
Foaly: That way, we can conpare them to SeaBlue’s.
Mulch: You mean “Compare”?
Foaly: Yeah, yeah.
Juliet: Awesome rabbit!
Butler: Show us SeaBlue’s.
Butler: That’s seriously it.
Artemis: He refuses to compete any further.
Juliet: Like, total lack of feet!
Artemis: Holly and Minerva haven’t said much. Are they still here?
Minerva: I am. I believe Holly left, disgusted at the thought of kissing you.
Holly: I’m right here.
Minerva: Well, I would have done that if I were you.
Holly: But you’re not, thank God.
Minerva: What was that supposed to mean?! 👿
Foaly: Uh-oh, here we go.
Minerva: You little snob!
Holly: You friken bitch.
Mulch: BURN! Score one for Holly.
Foaly: Holly one, Minerva nothing.
Minerva: Shut up. I’m leaving.
Holly: Chick thinks she can diss me?
Artemis: What a low-life.
Juliet: I bet she’s still here, watching us right now…
Minerva: I am not!
Artemis: Yes, you are.
Minerva: Well, Holly, you are a sustantivo! Oh! Top that!
Mulch: A what?
Holly: I dunno.
Foaly: Minerva, if you’re gonna diss someone, you have to choose a diss they actually understand, and can be offended by. Got it?
Minerva: I’m leaving for real now!
Foaly: She’s really gone this time..
Artemis: I know what sustantivo means.
Juliet: What? What?
Artemis: You’ll have to figure it out by yourself…
Holly: Brb, gonna find it.
Butler: I also know what it means.
Mulch: Tell us!
Foaly: *chants* Tell us, tell us!
Mulch: Tell tell tell!!!
Butler: No way. Wait until Holly gets back.
Holly: I’m back.
Butler: Ah, perfect timing.
Artemis: Do you know what it means?
Holly: I’m not telling.
Mulch: Aw, crap! I’m leaving.
Juliet: Same here. See ya later, big brother.
Butler: I think I’ll go find my chi…
Artemis: See you all later.
Holly: I’m gonna go roast some veggies.
Foaly: Want to come over? Caballine is making veggie stew for dinner. She wanted me to invite you.
Holly: Sure. I’ll be right over.
Foaly: Bye, all.
Summary: This may not be how Facebook works, but like I know how it works. Overprotective parents, remember. Just read, for Pete's sake.
Artemis: Hello, Holly.
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