Artemis’s First Friend
Written on January 30th, 2008 by Opal KoboiStory Details
Loading ...The two would’ve worked on their plans for longer, if not Ariana’s parents hadn’t decided to move to Scotland.
In tears, the now 11 year old Ariana, said goodbye to Artemis, who looked just as upset as he had a year ago when his father went missing.
“Promise to email me Artemis, and I’ll phone you whenever I can.” sobbed Ariana.
“Don’t worry Ariana, I will. Don’t forget me when you’re in Glasgow.”
“Of course I won’t forget you, You will be a rich multi-millionaire. Everybody will know you.” said Ariana, smiling, ” I better go now, the plane leaves in an hour and we have to get to the airport.”
He waved as she got into the Vauxhall Astra. It drove away with Ariana sitting in the back, waving.
“Goodbye Ariana.” whispered Artemis. He knew he probably wouldn’t see her again and although he tried very hard not to. He started to cry as he stood on the lawn of Ariana’s old house.
January 30th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Artemis is quite OOC but I kind of like the idea maybe not making him want to talk to her through the day but perhaps thought he didn’t need a friend but then had second thoughts…
January 30th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
:( I thought it was quite good for my second story. Ariana is the reason he wasn’t very familiar with friends afterwards. I really liked the idea
January 30th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Aw. This is really good! Plz continue!
January 30th, 2008 at 11:10 pm
yeah .. he is a bit ooc….. BUT I like it! its gr8!
January 30th, 2008 at 11:25 pm
It’s a very different view, and very well written. Overall I really liked it.
January 31st, 2008 at 10:29 pm
Please don’t hold this against me-when Ariana left Artemis (you know darn well what I mean)i nearly cried and when she moved.
*I sob as I press submit message*
February 1st, 2008 at 10:07 am
Ohhhkayy
February 9th, 2008 at 7:50 am
great!
you could have made it a bit longer though, we could have gotten a bit more attatched to Ariana.
February 12th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
oh that’s sad i don’t like her moveing away and Artemsi seems OCC!
February 13th, 2008 at 12:00 am
Arty cried too much and I can’t imagine him apologizing at age 10. Very OCC and Ariana forgave Artemis too easily. Not too bad though. 3/5
February 16th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
I liked it. WEll done Opal! anyway this site is all about imagination isn’t it? we don’t all have to go by colfer’s artemis.
February 16th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Welll…isn’t that the whole point of the archive? Modeling our stories to the AF series? No offense, but I honestly can’t give a good rating to anything that’s OCC.
February 18th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
um, you guys are going to think i’m crazy, but whats OCC?
February 18th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
ooc means out of charecter, dont worry ur new so u probably woodnt noe.
others words like that would be
oc- other charecter- aka a charecter u make up and add to ur stories.
FCD- first comment dance, when ur the first commentor u can say *FCD*
March 3rd, 2008 at 6:34 am
Very touching. I felt that a lot. It was really sad how he cried as he was on the old house’s lawn.
May 28th, 2008 at 5:09 am
I agree with Star Jinin. A little OOC-ness is ok if you have an arsenal of other characters that are true to the AF Files, but if the OOC is all we see, I personally don’t enjoy it much.
Ah, well. Maybe I can write something on that another time.
But my main disappointment was that I thought from the summary that this story was going to be about Artemis’s friendship with Butler.
Keep writing and improving. =)
June 26th, 2008 at 11:53 pm
it was ok, a little short. ill keep reading, but if it get more OOC… im not so sure. but keep on writing.