wow, pretty good! it’s going a bit fast and i think you should slow it down and add more descriptions. also, as my teachers always tell me, more showing and less telling. like instead of “Eragon was happy” you could have Eragon say something like, “wow, Roran! that was great! we really kicked butt!” or something he might say because i doubt he’d say what i suggested. using dialogue to express…well, expressions would make the story more interesting. other than that, awesome story!!! you should continue!
ive read eragon and i think u should continue and u could say well myabe holly and aria become frends and they all teach the varden about stuff in their own century and maybe Artemis or foaly (personally Artemis but its ur story) could get kidnapped by galbatorix because of his genius and then well… ive run out of ideas now.
ok maybe my idea seems a bit odd. good luck with the fic
This is great. After My Harry Potter/Artemis Fowl story I was planning on writing on involving Eragon but you beat me to it. I love what you’ve done so far. Could you get Holly to get a dragon egg. That’s what I’m going to do anyway. Well
LOL from
Needs some editting,(ex.bomd), and more chapters, and more dialuge. And please, please add some other peoples ideas (ig. Holly gets last dragon egg, Holly and Arya become friends, and demonds/ Artemis/ Foaly gets captured by Galbatorix.
Oy, You gunna type more or are we all going to die of bordom without the ingenius typing that you have brought to our attention. I will admit that it needs some editing but appart from that it is deffinately one of the best stories that I have read in a while. I trust that you will deep writing and not dissappoint the many people that you have inspired with your work.
Signed.
Captain Holly Short
This is very good. I senserely hope taht you continue this thrilling story. Maybe after you’ve finished you can give me some ideas for my own Eragon/Artemis/Harry potter fic.
Well gotta go
Bye Bye
When you do do the next chapter can you make it longer. It wouldn’t be too hard and it would make people want to read it more. Can you give Holly the next dragon egg or make the Varden find one in Surda or something. It would be really cool.
WHAT THE HECK TOOK YOU SO LONG.
We all thought you’d dropped off the face of the earth or something.
The update is really good, keep it up.
Please update soon so we don’t die of boredom.
Now that i am back on the conputer, i am taking ideas for the story. I’ve heard the one about giving the last egg to Artemis or Holly, and i an deeply considering it, but i would really enjoy other ideas, anything from love intrist to who should die. DON”T HOLD BACK!!!
What about a romance between Butler and the leader of the varden. Nassuada. I thing that’s how you say her name.
What about Murtagh and Holly. That would be funny.
Please don’t make Artemis the new rider. All the others are boys. Have at least one girl to make it fair.
Is ther going to be any romance between Eragon and Arya? (No smart remarks please)
Think about it would yuh.
Cheery
August 31st, 2007 at 2:02 am
Well, I could use some ideas. feel free to share your ideas
August 31st, 2007 at 2:24 am
oook….weird, but yes, I think u should continue!
August 31st, 2007 at 3:02 am
wow, pretty good! it’s going a bit fast and i think you should slow it down and add more descriptions. also, as my teachers always tell me, more showing and less telling. like instead of “Eragon was happy” you could have Eragon say something like, “wow, Roran! that was great! we really kicked butt!” or something he might say because i doubt he’d say what i suggested. using dialogue to express…well, expressions would make the story more interesting. other than that, awesome story!!! you should continue!
August 31st, 2007 at 10:00 am
~~~!!kool!!~~~
August 31st, 2007 at 12:48 pm
this is confusing but good i like it lots lol!!!!!!!
August 31st, 2007 at 1:14 pm
ive read eragon and i think u should continue and u could say well myabe holly and aria become frends and they all teach the varden about stuff in their own century and maybe Artemis or foaly (personally Artemis but its ur story) could get kidnapped by galbatorix because of his genius and then well… ive run out of ideas now.
ok maybe my idea seems a bit odd. good luck with the fic
August 31st, 2007 at 6:12 pm
This is great. After My Harry Potter/Artemis Fowl story I was planning on writing on involving Eragon but you beat me to it. I love what you’ve done so far. Could you get Holly to get a dragon egg. That’s what I’m going to do anyway. Well
LOL from
Captain Holly Short
August 31st, 2007 at 11:49 pm
Thanks everyone for your ideas! I’ll take them into consideration when I continue the story.
September 1st, 2007 at 12:10 am
Needs some editting,(ex.bomd), and more chapters, and more dialuge. And please, please add some other peoples ideas (ig. Holly gets last dragon egg, Holly and Arya become friends, and demonds/ Artemis/ Foaly gets captured by Galbatorix.
September 2nd, 2007 at 3:11 pm
Oy, You gunna type more or are we all going to die of bordom without the ingenius typing that you have brought to our attention. I will admit that it needs some editing but appart from that it is deffinately one of the best stories that I have read in a while. I trust that you will deep writing and not dissappoint the many people that you have inspired with your work.
Signed.
Captain Holly Short
September 6th, 2007 at 9:11 pm
This is very good. I senserely hope taht you continue this thrilling story. Maybe after you’ve finished you can give me some ideas for my own Eragon/Artemis/Harry potter fic.
Well gotta go
Bye Bye
September 12th, 2007 at 12:02 am
Chapters 4&5 will be here in a couple weeks.
September 18th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
Old Galby aye? Love it!
Maybe just stick a little bit of filler in there but otherwise its great!
Love crossovers - I have always sucked at writing them but I love to read other people’s! Can’t wait for the next chapter!
Jess
September 19th, 2007 at 1:46 am
How many more weeks?!?!?!!?!
September 26th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
You are going to kill us at this rate if you dont’ hurry up. I don’t want to have to go mad with waiting.
September 28th, 2007 at 7:51 pm
WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG
September 29th, 2007 at 7:17 pm
When you do do the next chapter can you make it longer. It wouldn’t be too hard and it would make people want to read it more. Can you give Holly the next dragon egg or make the Varden find one in Surda or something. It would be really cool.
October 27th, 2007 at 10:11 pm
Just so you know, i have been temeraraly banned from the computer, so it’ll be a while
October 27th, 2007 at 10:38 pm
I have never read Erogon so this is very confusing….
November 7th, 2007 at 5:39 pm
Pppppppllllllleeeeaaaaaasssssseeeee hurry up. I love the story so I really hope you’ll be getting onto the computer again soon.
December 9th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
finish it!!!!finish it!!!!!!!
January 14th, 2008 at 1:04 am
coolio, but please give holly or artemis the last egg! that would be super cool!
February 21st, 2008 at 3:33 am
I hope you enjoy the new addition.
February 26th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
WHAT THE HECK TOOK YOU SO LONG.
We all thought you’d dropped off the face of the earth or something.
The update is really good, keep it up.
Please update soon so we don’t die of boredom.
March 22nd, 2008 at 2:14 am
Now that i am back on the conputer, i am taking ideas for the story. I’ve heard the one about giving the last egg to Artemis or Holly, and i an deeply considering it, but i would really enjoy other ideas, anything from love intrist to who should die. DON”T HOLD BACK!!!
March 22nd, 2008 at 6:48 pm
PLZ, PLZ continue!! It’s really good. Try and finish it fast i want to read the end.
April 8th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
What about a romance between Butler and the leader of the varden. Nassuada. I thing that’s how you say her name.
What about Murtagh and Holly. That would be funny.
April 9th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Please don’t make Artemis the new rider. All the others are boys. Have at least one girl to make it fair.
Is ther going to be any romance between Eragon and Arya? (No smart remarks please)
Think about it would yuh.
Cheery