Artemis Fowl and The Nightmare Revenge
Written on February 22nd, 2008 by JuliaStory Details
Loading ... “I scanned the images sent by Major Holly Short using earth land and pattern recognition programs. It appears that the so called ‘big cracks’ are actually fault lines. Given time, they should recede deeper into the earth, but-” Here Foaly was cut off.
“Stupid pony, just get on with it and say something important will you!” Commander Ark Sool snorted, hoping to sound in command. Wing Commander Vinyaya looked sharply at him.
“With all due respect, Commander, new fault lines in the earths crust are important. Very important in fact. ” Sool glared at her, then gestured roughly at Foaly to continue. The centaur cleared his throat noisily and snorted. “Well, as I was saying, they should be covered up over time, but the real problem lies in their geometric proportions. They’re completely straight.” Here gasps of surprise from the faeries who didn’t flunk science class were heard. “This is an enormous irregularity. The fact is they appear to be mud man made.” Silence prevailed in the debriefing room.
Butler stared out in silence at the deep rift in the landscape. “It’s completely straight as far as I can see, Holly,” he muttered. Artemis nodded and stopped typing notes out.
“I have deduced that this is no ordinary fault line. It appears to be man made. But no doubt Foaly has already come to this conclusion.” Holly nodded. “He just finished saying that into my earpiece.” Artemis turned back to Holly. “But if it was man made, shouldn’t Foaly have detected it before it was completed?”Holly sighed in exasperation
“The point is he didn’t. It just popped up one day.” Suddenly Artemis froze. His subconscious self took over. The magma in a chasm. Nightmare. Just as quickly as it had come, the thought he must think disappeared. He shook himself and carried on talking with Butler and Holly as they walked back to the car.
February 22nd, 2008 at 12:31 pm
This is basically a re-write of my last story; when i got back on most of it had gone missing so this is still my first story.
Please please please rate or review!
February 22nd, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Poor Arty! He had a nightmare!
February 22nd, 2008 at 4:33 pm
I like it. Good storyline. Great grammar and spelling. Some people just don’t worry about typos and leave fixing it to the editors. But you might want to consider changing the title. It’s not to catchy. How about something similar, like “The Dream Master” or “Artemis’ Dream Dilemna”? But I think that this story deserves 5/5 stars. Keep up the good work!
February 22nd, 2008 at 9:28 pm
Holly almost got killed while Foaly’s getting free food!
Revenge by a hamster? Oh– excuse me, revenge by a guinea pig?
I thought Sool got fired?
February 22nd, 2008 at 10:43 pm
I really like it. Great idea, and the characters are very well written. Great job so far!
February 23rd, 2008 at 1:40 am
I like it so far keep on writting! Ther is a really good plot, Update soon!
February 23rd, 2008 at 2:57 am
Yay! U finally used my idea! Here’s another suggestion. Maybe the “spirit” is haunting Artemis because of the thing with the Fowl Star and some other hidden secret about it. Maybe Artemis Fowl I was smuggling something or going to Russia for some other sinister purpose.
February 23rd, 2008 at 3:22 am
I like it! good story line. Here’s one little adjustment: enquired is spelled inquired. With an I. And also, at the end of chapter 3, Are you sure that’s not too story-giving-awaying? Oh well, I like it a lot! Good job, and keep writing!
February 26th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
oops! the computer lost everything again, so i had to re write it! im not sure if i missed anything out, but if i did, please tell me
February 26th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
enquired? inquired? i think that there are two different words. o well, if i am wrong i will change it. sorry about sool, peeps, but i needed a stupid commander.
February 26th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
ok, when i first started writing, i didn’t realise how long it would be. should i keep writing or not?
February 28th, 2008 at 10:00 am
never mind
February 28th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
I see that you changed the title. Much better!
May 27th, 2008 at 8:32 am
Hmmm. The writing is marginal. The storyline is marginal. The characters? Marginal. THOUGH. Since you’re one of my good friends in R/L, I guess I feel entitled to give you a 1/5. *cough*
JOKES! Julia - it rocked. Good ideas, good EVERYTHING. If only you wrote that well in our stories…..haha. 5/5. KEEP WRITING. Though, of COURSE, your writing is NOTHING matched to mine….
Haha. You go girl.